Maddie

My practice of Christianity wasn't really typical. Actually as far as schedule goes it wasn't really different from my more recent practice schedule. Almost everyday most free time was used for prayer, and contemplative Bible study. Had plenty of weird things happen then as well.

I can see how that could happen.

Very advanced stuff there. Not recommended for beginners.

I used to write off things done in my church days as irrelevant, but lately I've been revaluating that. I now remember my practice as a Christian having some similar effects.

Why does that sound like the name of an album?

Urine being darker is due to a higher concentration of uric acid which is a byproduct of metabolism which would indicate the ZZ is increasing your metabolism.

Something else weird I've noticed not just when needling myself but patients as well is that when there is a damp condition such as phlegm the needle handles feel moist to the touch after a while after being inserted.

To me what is mysterious is why. I've noticed this tendency to urinate more with certain mantras as well. Here is just a speculative theory I'll pondered the past couple years. Since the kidneys are the source of our pre-natal essence and karma I wonder if meditation and mantras that work out past karma have a purging effect on the kidneys which house this karma.

This is probably the most reluctance I have ever begun a topic with, but its time to talk about money from a spiritual perspective. My personal reason for this is that through out my entire life no matter where I have been, or what I have done I have always struggled with money. This has caused me to contemplate all sorts of various explanations such as karma to curses. The main reason I have been so reluctant to bring up this topic is because there is SO MUCH CRAP floating around regarding this topic, but with that being said I still want to figure this one out. I will share a few of my main theories. Karma is my main area of contemplation in regards to this topic. In the past I had other areas of my life that went bad no matter where or when I was nor matter how "smart" I tried to be, so after putting forth effort to change and improve my karma these areas of my life seemed to gradually improve, but this does not seem to be the case in regards to the topic of money. Curses have been another of my speculations concerning the topic of money as I indeed do know of a few people in my life that are nasty and vindictive and I have been told by others they they actually actively "pray" that I will be unsuccessful. Additionally my father would constantly tell me growing up that I would be unsuccessful and some have told me that this can actually be a real curse as well. If this is indeed the case though it would seem that I have been unsuccessful in breaking any such curses if they do exist. Other than that I really don't know why this seems to always be such a difficult area of my life, but I suppose that I why I'm making a post about it, hoping that someone out there might have a theory that makes sense. I know for a fact that this will require some sorting as I'm confident that I will be told a fair amount of nonsense as well, but hopefully I might get an answer that actually works for once in regards to this subject.

Naturally when this is occurring I drink more fluids.

To a point yes, but when it interferes with being functional in life then that is too much.

It's interesting that you mention this as another thing that happens when I meditate is I have to urinate much more.

Yes I have considered that but I don't think meditation is helpful if it turns one into a crazy person.

Yes, I found that early on with breath meditation the mind would be very busy. As I continued over time it would gradually get quieter and quieter like a spinning wheel slowly losing momentum. Making the mind be quiet cannot be done with the will, as to do so is an act of the will.

Yes I feel like my recent accidental meditation and ensuring side effects were a wake-up call. I ordered a whole new set of herbs to deal with this and in the mean time have been doing Acupuncture. In TCM this is called Phlegm affecting the mind.

Something else I just remembered is now that it's been a couple days and I'm not feeling actively anxious anymore, I feel this odd brain fog and heavy headed.

The self inquiry like you said wasn't so much an active thinking thing. It would spontaneously happen sometimes during sometimes after meditation.

After the lockdown last fall since I had much more free time I began to meditate even more than usual and only at home. It got so bad that, that is when I suspected meditation was not good for me and I stopped it

This did not seem to be my experience.

I would meditate anywhere. Home, at work when it was slow, sometimes the park, the play place at McDonald's (jk). Yes I stopped doing it regularly almost a year ago now. Pondering what I am is something I actually do often.

The time and place vary as I would meditate often do many times many places. The places were usually quiet, dim lighting, indoors and the temperature moderate. The type was anapanasati. I would just focus on the breath.

That actually sounds like a pretty good idea. I remember in the past when I tried that for some reason I really hated it though.

It didn't cause me to have high blood pressure, but it did cause me to almost go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

This is the variety that I had the misfortune of falling into. I think the lack of genuine spirituality is due to the fact when you are trying to convert people all your attention is outward as opposed to inward. Ironically when I was doing my research to enable me to better convert Jewish people to Christianity I discovered that the Jewish people had valid reasons for not believing in Christianity, so much so that I left it myself lol.