Maddie

Bump...

I don't know if I am familiar with that one.

Yes I think this is exactly what happened to me, but at the same time like you said I don't feel like I had much choice. My daughter was stuck with her abusive and narcissistic mother and told me that she really wanted to live with me. I had only recently built up my good karma to the level that I had a good job and an adequate amount of money. Her mother was not going to agree to let my daughter come live with me so I had to dedicate my good karma to this purpose. I knew at the time that it was going to set me back but it seemed like the thing to do anyways. Sure enough a little while later I did indeed get custody of her but it wasn't much later that my job and financial (plus spiritual practice) began to suffer. Since then I have spent the past couple years trying to build up my good karma reserves again and just now got hired at a better job. Now that I got a better job I'm sure I'm going to need to build up my good karma reserves again since my spiritual practice has seemed to suffer as well.

*gratitude, gratitude, gratitude _/\_ _/\_

Half the time I have no idea what you're saying but I'm going to like it anyway! :-)

I happily can now report that since I made this post I have been offered a new TCM job in another city and will be moving soon. This job should pay much better than my current one. Thank you for all the well wishers, and helpful wizards :-)

Another dark side related topic... Mara. I've always wondered if he is meant as a literal being or as a metaphor for desire? Or the devil for that matter.

Yeah from everything I've heard about SGI they sound like a cult to me also. Yeah I also don't really understand why Nichiren was so critical of other groups that were not his own and I can't say I really like it but I have found with a lot of experimentation that Nam myoho renge Kyo does seem to be effective. I guess it's like I've heard Thomas Edison was a jerk but I still like the light bulb.

Does anyone practice chanting "Nam myoho renge Kyo"?. I've been disillusioned lately with a lot of stuff but this one seems to really be doing it for me more and more. It benefits my mind and moves my qi. That being said I like the chant and not at all interested in SGI (just thought I'd put that out there).

"hey your my dad" **not so much again, but ever.

Ok yes I think that makes sense.

I periodically find myself here. First in Christianity I found the devotion fulfilling initially but the theory didn't make sense which is one of the reasons I eventually left it. Then for a while I didn't know what to think so did nothing really, but wound up depressed so that didn't seem to be working for me either. Then I got into Taoism somewhat but I couldn't even figure out what the theory was. Wanting to understand things better this eventually led me to Theravada Buddhism. The theory is very clear and systematic which I liked a lot, but in practice it did not seem to help me much, or in some cases make me feel worse. The fact that it didn't help me much in practice has made me question it and here I am now, unsure.

It is a bit disconcerting to someone like me that likes to know. 🤓

At the moment I find myself in a void of not knowing what to think 🤔

I think this is why even when I was in the church world I took it much more seriously than the average church goer. It became a lifestyle for me, not just a Sunday morning thing.

In Acupuncture school there were a lot of hippie types that were all peace and love but would quickly get a sour expression if you mentioned renunciation.

There is a monk on YouTube that promotes this method. He typically looks chronically depressed. I tried this method he taught for a few years and began to understand why he looks so depressed.

This might be the most profound thing I've read for a long time!!! 🤔

Interesting that you say that. When I originally got into all of this I was depressed from being in a bad relationship and just wanted to feel better without pharmaceuticals. I didn't even know what enlightenment was, if anything I thought it was a girl in a swim suit sitting on a beach in lotus since that's what all the memes showed.

It's interesting that you've made this observation because I made a similar one myself. I'll listen to these guys that spent the past 20 to 40 years pretty much meditating non-stop in the forest and yes they seem calm and peaceful I think but they never really say anything that wows me. and yes most of the ones I'm speaking about are from the Theravada forest tradition. And then all see the health and fitness people who also seem pretty happy and I wonder about a lot of things.

I don't think I articulated that very well. Because yes someone with brain damage could achieve that state and it's not considered a desirable thing. What I should have said more accurately is an Arhat let's go of all false notions of self.

I guess at this point it's mostly a matter of deciding whose sutras one believes are correct. I used to be somewhat hardcore Theravada but I don't know anymore.

I get this a lot with acupuncture patients also for some reason. They might have had back pain for 20 years, eaten horribly that entire time, and not exercised at all and they expect one acupuncture session take care all their problems in two minutes. I always wondered where this totally unrealistic expectation comes from.

I think that the suttas teach that an Arhat has no concept of self at all anymore. So I don't think there'd be patterns of selfhood.