Maddie

For those who question if a child can know if they're trans this should be seen.

2 hours ago, Nintendao said:

According to google:

"The percentage of people who detransition, discontinue, or regret gender transition is not well known outside of specific study populations. However, some studies suggest that detransition rates can range from less than 1% to up to 25%."

 

Also:

"The rate of organ transplant rejection varies by the type of transplant and can range from 5–30% of patients"

 

No it's actually not very common at all but the far right is trying to make a very small percentage of ancedotal examples into their primary argument against transitioning.

1 hour ago, -_sometimes said:

 

 

When I went on the retreat, the teacher specifically did not recommend meta, because she thought it would further build an outer shell of positivity that wasn't reflective of what was happening internally

 

With regards to the TCM practictioner, she was incredibly rude even when booking an appointment, so that was probably a red flag  

I'm sorry about that experience with the TCM practitioner.

I find the advice you were given about Metta odd since the Buddha himself listed Metta practice as one of the paths to enlightenment. That does not sound very external to me. 

9 minutes ago, -_sometimes said:

I started therapy a few weeks ago, so that's a start. I went to Beth Upton's retreat last year and she recommended this therapist. Sessions will be ongoing as long as necessary. However in the meantime I feel absolutely awful, and it feels like it's been getting worse over time.

 

Meditation doesn't help, because the moment I try to focus internally, even if that's just on my breath, I get involuntary muscle twitches in my neck and face, that mean I simply cannot keep attention on the meditation object. I've tried letting the movements run their course, but they continue indefinitely, with no conclusion. This is particularIy troubling because meditation and finding peace and contentment through concentration might very well help, but I can't maintain attention on my breath for even 10 seconds before I have muscle twitches. I tried to start a neigong practice, but at the moment I don't have faith that results will come, given how unique my situation is - I want to wait till my life situation allows me to have a physical teacher to help instead of through online courses. 

Whenever I try to focus on studying, which is necessary to improve my life, I feel mentally heavy, chaotic and confused, as well as utterly exhausted - I zone out tremendously easy staring at a problem. I've seen a neurologist who found nothing abnormal, went to a TCM practitioner who it seems did not like me and tried to get me out after an acupuncture session as fast as possible lol

 

I have this crushing emotional pain in my chest much of the time, my experience feels crushing, the repetition mind-numbing and soul crushing. I am utterly socially isolated aside from work, as I feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable and fearful in casual social situations with people, as well as strong sense of apathy and numbness. You might say exposure therapy, but it's something deeper than a general anxiety - an overwhelming discomfort with myself deep in my unconscious seems about right. Everyone who knows me on a surface level finds that I am bright, intelligent, always in good spirits, with a good vibe, but that's only because I don't allow anyone to know me better beyond their initial impression.

 

When I went on my 10 day retreat last year, I had an assisted meditation experience that unlocked a lot of pain, where I cried for a long while, but that doesn't seem to have changed anything. I want to cut out stimulation in my life so I can focus on what I feel, but the mental anguish is so unbearable I find myself constantly using some form of stimulation to numb it.

 

I feel like there's no way out, aside perhaps from meeting a sage who can actually identify the cause of my suffering and provide a path out of it. I've tried eating well, going to the gym, sleeping well and they don't affect the deep overwhelming sense of mental pain I feel so often. Sometimes I go to the gym and feel so weak and mentally unwell I leave after a few sets. feel so stuck sometimes I panic at how things will never change.

 

I don't really have anything to ask, but I do wonder if anyone has experience with this sort of thing, and if they have resolved it, what they did. I will try antidepressants I think at this point, I've read people describe it as 'painkillers for the soul', and that sounds about right

First of all I'm really sorry that you are going through this. 

It's really good that you started therapy for sure. It might not be a good idea to meditate as in some situations it can actually make things worse. 

I'm also sorry that you didn't have a good experience with your TCM practitioner. As a TCM practitioner I focus on mental health issues, and it does help a lot of people. 

If you really want to meditate then at the very least I would NOT recommend mindfulness. Rather I would recommend a LOT of Metta meditation. 

Again I'm sorry you feel so bad and I do hope that you feel better as soon as possible. 

2 hours ago, Cobie said:

 

Yes, I remember it being so for me as a child with my parents. But I think only emotionally abusive adults are like this. 

 

I don't think its necessarily only abusive parents that react not well to a child proclaiming a gender different than that which they were assigned at birth. There are often well meaning parents that for one reason or another do not react in the most supportive way in these situations. 

1 hour ago, liminal_luke said:

 

Yes, and hopefully a therapist who is not invested in a particular outcome but only wants what is best for the particular child.  And of course sometimes the people most in need of therapy -- perhaps this was true in your case? -- are the parents.

lol that was absolutely the case. When I was a teenager my parents took me to several councilors wanting to "fix" me. Every time the therapist would tell my parents that I was not the only issue and they needed to work on themselves, we moved onto the next councilor. 

9 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

I´ve never had kids myself and don´t spend much time around kids now so this topic is far from my wheelhouse.  I´m sure there are kids that know from an early age that they are transgender and never waver.  Good for them!  For all I know most kids who identify as trans are confident in their gender identity, like the kids at the camp.  But I don´t think it follows that that´s a universal experience.  People of all ages are wildly varied and not every kid who says they are trans will turn out to be a Maddie or a surrogate corpse.  

Actually for most of my childhood (aside from the very beginning) I did not know I was trans. I showed tendencies early on but literally had it beat out of me. Well not really beat out, but I had to deeply suppress it so deeply that even I did not consciously realize it. This leads me to believe that a lot of kids that turn out to be "unsure" of their gender (i.e. think they are trans and realize they are not) might have had a lot of pressure put on them to "not be trans". But then again I am not an expert and don't claim to know the answer in every situation. This is why I do think that if a child does express that they feel that their gender is different than the one assigned to them at birth they should be made to see a licensed therapist. 

4 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

I went back and watched part of the video.  The camp seems like a great experience for many trans kids and their families.  

To me personally at least one of the main take aways from the video was that the kids were not confused at all about their identities. 

If anyone has watched the video I posted earlier about trans kids camp it is very enlightening. 

1 hour ago, old3bob said:

 

ok some improvements in medicine and other areas have been made, but not enough imo from what is being seen and reported to keep up with the drastic imbalances and degradation in climates and ecosystems. (with hundreds of destructive tornados, powerful hurricanes, much of California, Canada,  the Amazon, and other areas burning fiercely, the incredible amount of pollution in seas and oceans,  dirty drinking water, poor air quality,  115+ degree heat waves,  the north and south poles ice melting , etc. !) And add to that all the violence and potential violence in the world.... granted its 5:00 o'clock and Margaritaville somewhere but not in a great many parts of the US and in many parts of the world!  Granted there is a pure heaven or state of being somewhere for some folks but not in many situations for many people in this world of various forms of horrific suffering for mankind and so many of earths other creatures!  (as in going extinct although  some have recovered but not anywhere near as many that are in trouble!)

I do agree that probably one of the biggest challenges we face in this day and age is climate change. Unfortunately.

I know it may not seem like it if we watch the news too much but as a historian this is actually one of the best times to be alive. There's fewer wars than there's ever been, medical science is at an all-time high people don't die of common diseases like they used to. Granted climate change is a problem but I can't think of another time in history that is better than now. This is why I like the study of history.

15 hours ago, Lois said:

Prophecy of the Coming

Rustle, trees, sway, reeds. A great storm is coming. The storm comes from the Lord God, the Creator of the Universe

 

This is the prophecy of what happens after my neighbor eats Taco Bell.

21 hours ago, Paradoxal said:

If my own business ever gets off the ground, this is how I want to run it too! Such an inspiration in these dreary times, in my eyes. 

As a fellow struggling entrepreneur I recommend lots of Zhunti mantra recitation. My business has picked up since I got back into it.  

1 hour ago, Lois said:

Prophecy of the Coming

Rustle, trees, sway, reeds. A great storm is coming. The storm comes from the Lord God, the Creator of the Universe. A torrential rain will pour upon the earth, the face of the moon will darken, for behold, the Creator walks upon the Earth. All the hosts of heaven praise Him; there is none like our God. Rustle, trees, tell the people of the deeds of the Creator. He led His people out of Egypt, carrying them in His arms.

 

 

What is this from? And what is it supposed to signify? 

On 5/29/2024 at 11:16 AM, EFreethought said:

 

I found a file on Bodri's site where he gives a pronunciation of the Chundi mantra (or Zhunti as he calls it). I extracted it, and looped it and have the mantra on a loop for about 14 minutes.

 

If anyone is interested in using it, let me know and I will see if I can share it. People have had issues with files on this site before.

 

That youtube video that I posted is the one that I listen to most often, I seem to get results from it.

On 5/2/2024 at 11:29 PM, Rvel said:

 

  Hide contents

 It gave me a schizophrenic style delusion

 

What if, and hear me out, the problem isn't spiritual stuff, but Schizophrenia? I would highly suggest going to a qualified mental health professional asap. 

24 minutes ago, Apech said:

I find my orientation to be generally north by north east unless there’s a stiff southerly which can cause me to tilt west.  On a rough day the weather cock can swing wildly leading to scattered spume on deck.  Look lively ye lubbards and hoist the top sail.

 

 

oh really? which way is the old weather cock pointing today? 🤭🐓 

1 hour ago, liminal_luke said:

 

Exactly.  What my friend was really saying was that he was attracted to guys that didn´t like themselves very much.  A common, if embarrassing, predicament.  

 

These days you are a good looking woman but you´ve told us that you´re asexual and something of a hermit.  Oh the irony!

I might be asexual but I'm not a-compliment so thank you :-)

18 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

  One of my more horndoggy gay friends talks about how he used to be able to "get" straight guys.  (I always tell him that if they were having sex with you they weren´t really straight.  Not sure if that´s true or not.)  

I've heard gay guys say this as well, that they like "straight guys" at which point I go into a feedback loop where I think to myself "if they slept with a guy how can they technically be straight?" lol

16 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

Many gay guys are attracted to a kind of rough masculinity that´s associated, rightly or wrongly, with straight men.  One of my more horndoggy gay friends talks about how he used to be able to "get" straight guys.  (I always tell him that if they were having sex with you they weren´t really straight.  Not sure if that´s true or not.)  Some gays call themselves "straight-acting" in online profiles.  To me, there´s something a little self-hating and untoward about this veneration of straightness.  It´s a little like Woody Allen not wanting to belong to a club that would have him as a member.  Why should we value straight guys over ourselves?  It´s an embarassing fantasy.

 

I was say its internalized "homophobia" most likely, which would be a narrative in the back of one's mind that would say "straight men count more than gay men" or something to that effect. 

2 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

There are a lot of straight male hotties out there, and more than once I´ve fantasized that I could be the kind of beautiful woman they would find attractive.  An embarassing fantasy, I know, but there ya go.  Sadly, I´ve always been a guy.  

I'm curious, why does that fantasy embarrass you? 

14 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

There´s speculation (theories? anecdotes?) in some quarters that gay kids are getting mixed up and assuming they are transgender because of their same-sex attractions.  I have no idea if this is happening, or, if so, to what extent.  Hope not.  It is a complicated issue.

I'm not sure but I think one thing that too me a while to overcome to realize I was trans was that I was not attracted to men. The first thing my sister asked me after I came out to her was "does this mean you are attracted to men now?" There's still a lot of confusion on the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. 

I've noticed that since the original novelty of the thread wore off and the trolls either stopped trolling or got banned that it has quieted down and this in and of itself to me shows an important point. In spite of what some conservatives say (the trolls) most people don't really care what other people do with their lives, and I think that is nice :-). 

In the past I thought I wanted to be a Buddhist monk so I tried living like one for a while, which included eating one meal a day. Once I decided that wasn't in the cards for me I stopped. I don't really think I noticed any difference before or after.