Maddie

5 minutes ago, snowymountains said:

The "truth" 😁, that one, yes 😁

Is this the lion cub's truth that mom is good because she feeds him?

Or the gazelle's truth that the lion is evil because she hunts them?

10 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

 

There is no other way to bring real peace to the mind except by aligning your life with the truth. So spirituality is the only legit therapy out there. Every other means to bring peace to the mind is fool's gold. And there are many such foolish endeavors in the world going on. 

 

The problem with this statement would be, which spirituality are we talking about? And how can you demonstrate that your statement is correct? 

A lot of the TTC needs to be understood in the context under which it was written (as with any other work of literature). It was mostly written during the waring states period in ancient China and it was a competing philosophy with Confucianism as well as several other schools of philosophy that emerged during this time period and were all competing with each other to gain favor with the Emperor. This attack on scholars is most likely an attack on Confucianism as they were considered the "scholars".    

29 minutes ago, Mark Foote said:

 

 

If you come across something in the sutta or vinaya, I'd love to hear it.  I have only one confirmation of my understanding that metta meditation was fairly recent, but that was from a Buddhist who had lived some time in Southeast Asia.

 

 

If/when I find the reference I'll be sure to let you know. Unfortunately when I read a big collection of suttas I don't always pay attention to the name of them.

I did hear that around the time that you mentioned that Buddhism in southeast Asia had somewhat of a revival as a reaction against Christian missionaries from western countries. I think I heard that prior to that, that Buddhism in southeast Asia had a much different character than it does today and it was mainly the monks basically acting as priests and doing rituals for the people. 

Just now, Mark Foote said:

My understanding is that Metta meditation was an invention of the 18th century, in Burma or Thailand.

If you can quote from the Pali sutta or vinaya, that would clarify things.

 

I've definitely read several suttas that talk about Metta and its virtues although unfortunately I can't think of the references off the top of my head. In one sutta in particular the Buddha was listing various paths/methods to obtain liberation and he listed Metta as an option. 

I feel like there were several people like this when I was in acupuncture school. Very interesting to talk to but useless in the "real world"

10 hours ago, Tommy said:

Out of curiosity, while a person transitions, does the person use the men's restroom or the lady's rest room?

Is this special treatment? Just to be the gender that you really are? Now a days there are gender neutral bathrooms.

Special treatment??

 

Special treatment because some women do not want to be in the same bathroom as a person with male genitalia. I know it sounds bias and may offend some. That is not my reason for asking. I bring this up because sometimes situations come up which is beyond our control. And special treatments are needed. Gender neutral bathrooms.

When I first began my transition and I looked more like a man I used the men's restroom because I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. At the point that while using the men's restroom I saw that I was clearly making men uncomfortable with my presence I then began to use the women's restroom. While I am not going to comment on my genitalia I can say that believe it or not no one in the women's restroom has stood on the toilet seat to peek over and inspect my genitalia so far. :-)

8 minutes ago, Tommy said:

Life sucks and then you die

First noble truth lol

3 minutes ago, Tommy said:

Your need to transition should not necessitate me treating you as special. I should be able to treat you as I would treat anyone.

We don't want special treatment, just to be the gender that we really are. 

3 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

 

I have a feeling if i clarify more, things will explode again. Maybe i'll just leave it at that and be gone. 

 

Bye 🙏

That sounds like a splendid idea 

Can I have access to the current events section please?

8 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Whether or not those words had something to do with transgenderism is revealed in your emotional response. 

no not really I asked because this is the transgendered thread and that seemed to have no relevance to the topic at all, so I was asking you for clarification. 

If I posted on an internet discussion about auto transmissions, a pancake recipe they might be a bit confused about the relevance of my post. 

4 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

@Maddie You might find this substack post interesting, Perhaps If You're a "Of Course Trans People Can Be Trans, But...." Type, You Should Front the "Of Course" A Little More (substack.com).  Admittedly, I´m a bit of a "yes, of course, but..." type myself, but I think Freddie Deboer makes some intelligent points that might apply at this point in the thread.

Yeah I heard about the Lia Thomas decision yesterday. My official position on is it fair for a trans woman to compete in women's swimming is "I don't know".  I can only hope that the Olympic committee made its decision based upon actually scientific medical facts and research and was not simply being reactionary but I don't know. I can definitely empathize with her since I quit my jujitsu gym based on being discriminated against for being trans and remembering how awful that felt, but on the other hand I wasn't competing. I'm honestly not even sure if it would be fair for me to compete against cis women or not. I'm pretty sure if I sucked at competitions most people would probably not care but god help me if I won, which is what happened to Lia.  

What does any of that have to do with transitioning?

3 hours ago, NaturaNaturans said:

Apologies, I didnt Watch, but If you dont mind me asking:

1. So lets assume that kids can know that they are born in the wrong body. Still, would you agree that some could be manipulated to belive it, as well?

2. how do you feel about irreversible biological change to kids?

3. why not wait anyway? I mean, this is a far more serious choice then most we are allowed to take before reaching adulthood?

4. I think youd agree that some ones Life would be ruined by this (and some improved). How do you balance these up against each other?

1. I would really suggest watching these videos that I post because in almost every case it's the kids are telling the parents that's how they feel and initially the parents are usually resistant. 

2. I can say that I wish I had had the opportunity to transition as a child and avoid male puberty because it would have made things so much easier. 

3. Again it comes down to the timing of puberty and the permanent changes that it causes that can lead to gender dysphoria. 

4. It's not just my opinion but all medical science and experts agree that if someone truly is transgendered and has gender dysphoria that they always benefit from transitioning. Again I recommend watching these videos I post because they address a lot of your questions.

For those who question if a child can know if they're trans this should be seen.

2 hours ago, Nintendao said:

According to google:

"The percentage of people who detransition, discontinue, or regret gender transition is not well known outside of specific study populations. However, some studies suggest that detransition rates can range from less than 1% to up to 25%."

 

Also:

"The rate of organ transplant rejection varies by the type of transplant and can range from 5–30% of patients"

 

No it's actually not very common at all but the far right is trying to make a very small percentage of ancedotal examples into their primary argument against transitioning.

1 hour ago, -_sometimes said:

 

 

When I went on the retreat, the teacher specifically did not recommend meta, because she thought it would further build an outer shell of positivity that wasn't reflective of what was happening internally

 

With regards to the TCM practictioner, she was incredibly rude even when booking an appointment, so that was probably a red flag  

I'm sorry about that experience with the TCM practitioner.

I find the advice you were given about Metta odd since the Buddha himself listed Metta practice as one of the paths to enlightenment. That does not sound very external to me. 

9 minutes ago, -_sometimes said:

I started therapy a few weeks ago, so that's a start. I went to Beth Upton's retreat last year and she recommended this therapist. Sessions will be ongoing as long as necessary. However in the meantime I feel absolutely awful, and it feels like it's been getting worse over time.

 

Meditation doesn't help, because the moment I try to focus internally, even if that's just on my breath, I get involuntary muscle twitches in my neck and face, that mean I simply cannot keep attention on the meditation object. I've tried letting the movements run their course, but they continue indefinitely, with no conclusion. This is particularIy troubling because meditation and finding peace and contentment through concentration might very well help, but I can't maintain attention on my breath for even 10 seconds before I have muscle twitches. I tried to start a neigong practice, but at the moment I don't have faith that results will come, given how unique my situation is - I want to wait till my life situation allows me to have a physical teacher to help instead of through online courses. 

Whenever I try to focus on studying, which is necessary to improve my life, I feel mentally heavy, chaotic and confused, as well as utterly exhausted - I zone out tremendously easy staring at a problem. I've seen a neurologist who found nothing abnormal, went to a TCM practitioner who it seems did not like me and tried to get me out after an acupuncture session as fast as possible lol

 

I have this crushing emotional pain in my chest much of the time, my experience feels crushing, the repetition mind-numbing and soul crushing. I am utterly socially isolated aside from work, as I feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable and fearful in casual social situations with people, as well as strong sense of apathy and numbness. You might say exposure therapy, but it's something deeper than a general anxiety - an overwhelming discomfort with myself deep in my unconscious seems about right. Everyone who knows me on a surface level finds that I am bright, intelligent, always in good spirits, with a good vibe, but that's only because I don't allow anyone to know me better beyond their initial impression.

 

When I went on my 10 day retreat last year, I had an assisted meditation experience that unlocked a lot of pain, where I cried for a long while, but that doesn't seem to have changed anything. I want to cut out stimulation in my life so I can focus on what I feel, but the mental anguish is so unbearable I find myself constantly using some form of stimulation to numb it.

 

I feel like there's no way out, aside perhaps from meeting a sage who can actually identify the cause of my suffering and provide a path out of it. I've tried eating well, going to the gym, sleeping well and they don't affect the deep overwhelming sense of mental pain I feel so often. Sometimes I go to the gym and feel so weak and mentally unwell I leave after a few sets. feel so stuck sometimes I panic at how things will never change.

 

I don't really have anything to ask, but I do wonder if anyone has experience with this sort of thing, and if they have resolved it, what they did. I will try antidepressants I think at this point, I've read people describe it as 'painkillers for the soul', and that sounds about right

First of all I'm really sorry that you are going through this. 

It's really good that you started therapy for sure. It might not be a good idea to meditate as in some situations it can actually make things worse. 

I'm also sorry that you didn't have a good experience with your TCM practitioner. As a TCM practitioner I focus on mental health issues, and it does help a lot of people. 

If you really want to meditate then at the very least I would NOT recommend mindfulness. Rather I would recommend a LOT of Metta meditation. 

Again I'm sorry you feel so bad and I do hope that you feel better as soon as possible. 

2 hours ago, Cobie said:

 

Yes, I remember it being so for me as a child with my parents. But I think only emotionally abusive adults are like this. 

 

I don't think its necessarily only abusive parents that react not well to a child proclaiming a gender different than that which they were assigned at birth. There are often well meaning parents that for one reason or another do not react in the most supportive way in these situations. 

1 hour ago, liminal_luke said:

 

Yes, and hopefully a therapist who is not invested in a particular outcome but only wants what is best for the particular child.  And of course sometimes the people most in need of therapy -- perhaps this was true in your case? -- are the parents.

lol that was absolutely the case. When I was a teenager my parents took me to several councilors wanting to "fix" me. Every time the therapist would tell my parents that I was not the only issue and they needed to work on themselves, we moved onto the next councilor. 

9 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

I´ve never had kids myself and don´t spend much time around kids now so this topic is far from my wheelhouse.  I´m sure there are kids that know from an early age that they are transgender and never waver.  Good for them!  For all I know most kids who identify as trans are confident in their gender identity, like the kids at the camp.  But I don´t think it follows that that´s a universal experience.  People of all ages are wildly varied and not every kid who says they are trans will turn out to be a Maddie or a surrogate corpse.  

Actually for most of my childhood (aside from the very beginning) I did not know I was trans. I showed tendencies early on but literally had it beat out of me. Well not really beat out, but I had to deeply suppress it so deeply that even I did not consciously realize it. This leads me to believe that a lot of kids that turn out to be "unsure" of their gender (i.e. think they are trans and realize they are not) might have had a lot of pressure put on them to "not be trans". But then again I am not an expert and don't claim to know the answer in every situation. This is why I do think that if a child does express that they feel that their gender is different than the one assigned to them at birth they should be made to see a licensed therapist. 

4 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

I went back and watched part of the video.  The camp seems like a great experience for many trans kids and their families.  

To me personally at least one of the main take aways from the video was that the kids were not confused at all about their identities.