C T

darn glass ornaments for some, its more than precious adornments of pride...

Thats basically it. I have said something similar in an earlier post.

Its great advice, but as mentioned, more than once by the OP, such intimacy is beyond his capacity to fathom.

Hm, yes, i did think about you when i came across that quote yesterday.

Job? Im thinking this means you get a wage out of it. Thats not the point, is it?

blessings!

bring Peach Blossom Luck light reflects off broken glass nearly cut my feet... (guess i was saved by Peach Blossom Luck )

'Empathy' is a muscle of the spirit. Like any muscle, it requires work to manifest its potential. In your case, it is dormant, clouded over by self-absorptive patterns of thoughts and also by the unwillingness to take full responsibility to re-route a certain unhealthy trait which is preventing you from genuine relationship, hence you deflect your afflictive tendencies to kundalini, when in actual fact, its your basic intent and motivation which needs to be re-tuned. As an afterthought, I have suggested previously to offer some of your selfish energy towards doing some charitable work for the less fortunate, even if its just make-believe for a start, but it seems you have no willingness to take this on board.

when will you stop with the subtle insinuations, adept? Its not helpful to others and yourself.

start by spending more time in your local library. do tai chi in the park. join the local walking club. join some activity you like in the YMCA. take up yoga. take up cookery -- enrol for cookery classes. volunteer at the animal shelter. rock-climb. sky-dive. bungee-jump? infinite avenues to meet sensible/adventurous types. The problem i am seeing is not that you are lacking in a capacity for affection, but that you are too involved in your own stories, so much so that the focus is almost, if not all about you, which is ok if you at least make a little room to engage in feeling for others once in a while. It seems to me that your obsession with your own gratification somehow grew some nasty habits over the years, and these layers/traits/characteristics are now showing themselves as obstacles which are making you frustratingly unhappy. If i were you, i'd start now by designing a plan to generate a more favorable future result. In other words, if you desire to reduce your current level of unhappiness, then you have to begin now to create the right circumstance(s) for you to experience a reduction of said unhappiness tomorrow. How successful this is going to turn out, well, would depend entirely on how bad you really want to fulfil your ultimate fantasy. The process of repetitive focus on thoughts which then expresses themselves in self-defeating actions is a destructive cycle. Addictive tendencies require much insight to identify and then great resolve to redirect the negative sparks towards actions aimed at producing different, more positive outcomes. In other words, each time you notice an unfavorable trait rearing its head, you have to chop it off, nip it in the bud, by immediately doing something good -- remember, good is only good when it brings some benefit to another being. Otherwise, it will just be quite meaningless, empty and unfulfilling, which is exactly where you are at at this point. Cycles... if you become mindful, its easy to spot them in your daily life.

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man." (Socrates)

Something does not have to be initially proven to have a false premise in order for the ball of the debunking process to begin rolling. Any reasonable doubt, or even a premise which seems exaggerated, is potentially liable for debunking. Some arguments, i assume, do not require proof. There are logical assumptions and sound reasonings where appeals can be made -- however, this often involves lengthy jargon spews, eats up mental energy, and makes people none the wiser at the end. Is it really worth the investment? I for one have no interest in the meagre returns, if any at all.

Yes, you are right, discussing the ego will actually hinder growth.

Well, we have an agreement. Thank you. "Far too much emphasis"? How far is too far? c'mon, Ralis, you can do better than make such a generalized observation -- lacks preciseness.

'Suffering' is by degrees. Depends on which realm the mind resides in for the most part. You cannot be so naive as to disregard such a truth as "There is suffering (dukkha)". Its not a bleak view, really. We just have to look closer and be constantly aware of the factors governing birth, sickness, loss, old age and death as an unavoidable reality. If you are ok with this process, then the suffering evaporates. Most people, however, tend to cling tightly to the avoidance of this change process, which is where contraction takes root and rebirth finds a foothold.

Haha, funny guy.

For the record, nowhere did Buddha ever said that all life is suffering. He said, "There is suffering". You just plugged that in based on your own conditioned response.

Are you saying its ok for you to resent things you deem as improper, and vocalizing your resentment, and not ok for some Buddhists to feel and act in the same vein? Buddhists are humans before they are buddhists.

what amazes me equally is how often you judge Buddhists.

Exacerbated, yes? (i had to look up the spelling).

Creator or agent provocateur? Im inclined to lean towards the latter. This is because i cannot see a permanent creation anywhere. Process, yes. Change, yes, but a creation of solid existence, no. Are we not free to do what we will? Surely this freedom is not bestowed by a Creator, for if it is, then there would not be so much dissatisfaction in the world. Divinity and Grace of God are merely conventional terms used as 'pillows' to perhaps lend comfort, but a comfortable life does not necessarily mean the induction/intervention of a Creator. A comfortable life is one where previous comfort seeds were sown. Therefore, if its one's aim to have a certain result at some future time, then one plants the appropriate seeds now, not yesterday's nor tomorrow's seeds. If there was a Creator God, then the phrase, "You reap what you sow" becomes redundant somewhat.

Right on! The ego is not a form, more like a shadow. It can be seen to be present, but its not a solid entity. And yet, much fuss is made trying to understand something which is by nature merely an extension of one's conditioning process. This is how i see it, not necessarily how its suppose to be seen by others though.

the secret of youth take two cold showers a day but don't wet your hair...

If only it can be found.

Ah, the bane of misunderstanding what the Buddha taught. He never said to get rid of attachments. The encouragement given is to recognise the transient nature of the world, of which the human one is no different, and to the the degree one can see this, then the pitfalls/obstacles of becoming slave-like to those things which changes all the time is very much in the forefront of one's awareness. As long as this awareness (mindfulness) is present, then its ok to become affectionate towards the external, while simultaneously prepared internally that impermanence and change, the onset of sickness, old age and death are very much facts of this process, both to oneself and those external to oneself.