C T

a soul Pantheon would you say that again, please?? a houseful of beens?

How does telling someone else, and yourself (!!!) to 'go crazy' even align with the best advice you have been given is beyond my grasp. Lets just hope it does not become your habit, thru which all other functions, like words, thoughts and emotions get entangled in a befuddled, gooey mess. Definitely not appreciated in this particular instance, but sure, there will be times when 'crazy' can have its merit.

my link in the chain somehow superseded yours let me say "sorry"....

No use to engage in such a perfunctory exercise.

those you'd like to love love now before its too late this moment it is...

now it is rigpa... now, it is sems... now it is rigpa... now, it is sems... now, it is... always on? now it is always off... no, wait, its on now... you sure you know what dzogchen really means? Outer and inner? care to point it out?

In this situation, i think you need to loosen up on focussing so much on your 'self'. Reading your laments, its all 'I' this 'I' that (sorry, but no sympathy here.. does nothing to empower your esteem anyway). People say the best way to find happiness is to forget the 'self'. Shantideva said something similar -- "All the happiness in the world comes from considering others; all the misery comes from thinking only of oneself." He also said, "If you can find a solution to your problem, there is no need to worry. If it happens to be an unsolvable problem, what is the use of worrying?" If i were you, i would try to practice kindness to other sentient beings if i find myself in a similar situation. Just one good deed a day, and bottle the merit from that. Then, as time goes by, enlarge the field of your good deeds, and go on, one small good deed at a time. Make a new train of positive habits. Practice spontaneously being kind to others, insects, animals, any living being that you happen to see in a bit of distress. I do this all the time. If i see a stray animal needing food or water, i would run to the shop or run back to the house to get some nourishing stuff for it. Sometimes, by the time i get back to where it was, it would have wandered away, no problem, then i say a prayer to ask for blessings on their behalf. Just an example. It does not take very much to do something good for some other being. Old folks in the homes need company... go spend some time with them, clean their rooms, sit with them in the garden, chat with them, listen to them (of course, with the home's permission). See any kids on the street who look like they could use a 'big brother'? You sound like an intelligent, creatively-oriented kind of guy, so tap some of this positivity and direct it for others' benefit, instead of moaning about your discontent and ill-fate. Everything changes and is changing, every single moment. Dont spend time going into your head so much, cos this tends to exacerbate your mistaken notions about kundalini blah blah. I can almost guarantee, reading your descriptions, that your ideas around kundalini is all so haphazardly formed that you dont even know what is what anymore. Its a common thing with folks who dabble without proper guidance. If you want to sort out your perceived spiritual dilemmas, seriously think about finding a teacher who would help you for free (and he or she would def help if he or she is a real teacher -- he or she would be able to pick up on whether you are sincere in needing help) provided you are fully honest in the exchange. Any buddhist teachers near you? They could surely listen to your problems and offer some fresh perspectives. Get out and away from the internet for a while. It can be anti-problem solving sometimes. Wishing you the very best in finding new causes for transforming your life positively. Remember: one good deed a day for another sentient being. No matter an ant or a human being... just do it.

Hey TI, According to master Thinley Norbu, the clear light manifestation of Buddhas does indeed arise in the Sambhogakaya and Nirmanakaya realms. Hence, it can be understood in such a manner that the tangible nature/intrinsic non-dual quality of 'clear light' is Sambhogakaya and Nirmanakaya, and its empty essence the Dharmakaya. Not directly related to the above, a quote from master Norbu: "By realizing the basic nature of the great bliss of the clear light of empty awareness and by continuously sustaining it, when one actually accomplishes the stages of the path, the consciousness of the five senses will dissolve into mind. Mind will dissolve into the consciousness of alaya. When alaya dissolves into the dharmata of empty clear light, even though there is no consciousness due to it being purified at the root, self-awareness wisdom light will arise like stainless sky." This quote will be of some relevance to those who have the wish to enlighten in this life through dharmata phenomena without having to wait until the intermediate phases at death.

Have you heard of non-contrivance? Leaving everything as they are, not needing to distinguish/discriminate?

spirit or ego? surely you know the answer now, eat your ice-cream...

Its very hard to pinpoint exactly what happens, considering the vast number of variable factors at play. Speculations can be so rife, but the advice given is not to get carried away with them but focus on one's practice instead, constantly returning to the remembrance of one's stainless true mind, and resting in that.

Vs. ? There is no 'vs.' Some things are not within your scope of understanding.

extasy's costumes adorns one like rainbow light dazzling yet hollow...

is it that obvious? (haha) What things are before realization becomes very immaterial and insignificant post realization, so for one who does not indulge in analytical pre-realization psycho-physical pursuits, i dont consider what comes before realizations as tests. Like i said, after realization, what does it matter what it was before? If you want to call it 'tests' by all means call it that, but it is not necessary. Mere baggage, hindsight is.

yes, its about recognition. but how many can remain in the perpetual state of knowing that non-recognition is in fact a deception? i am more interested in the basic ordinary mind of beings. references to things pertaining to ultimate reality are simply not sustainable, as good as hot air in a balloon, limited usage time. According to master Thinley Norbu, ordinary mind (tha mal gyi shes pa) can be synthesized into 3 definitions. The ordinary mind that is continuously distracted in delusion is basic delusion that is totally engaged in dualistic mind. Sentient beings hold to existence as self-characterized, so this kind of ordinary mind is only an object of purification. Ordinary mind as experienced by practitioners on the path occurs when, for example, any conceptions that arise are instantly identified so that both mindfulness and conception are objectless and pure in natural clarity. This is called the ordinary mind of experience (nyams kyi tha mal gyi shes pa), which is not totally ordinary. The ordinary mind of realization is the mind that recognizes, everything is included there. No one has known anything other than that. Thus, as said, in the basic nature of wisdom mind that is originally perfectly pure and transcends all effort, by not engaging in any attempt to change, modify, abandon or accept, present awareness is only wisdom that has never known delusion. Since this is ordinary awareness that realizes the unending nature, it is not at all necessary to grasp mindfulness. This is the ordinary awareness of realization, and this alone, one should affirm that one will realize. At the time of death, when the sounds, forms, lights and especially the appearances of the peaceful and wrathful deities of the bardo of dharmata dawn, for all those who have attained confidence in the developing and completing stages, it will be as it is said in The Essence of Butter pith instructions: All appearances of rainbow light are the natural clarity of one's own awareness. All appearances of the manifestations of peaceful and wrathful wisdom deities are the natural form of one's own awareness. All sounds are one's own sound. All light is one's own light. Have no doubt or second thoughts about this. If doubt arises, one will be thrown into cyclic existence. If one decides that these are self-manifesting appearances, not wavering from clear emptiness, The Three Kayas will be attained, and that right there is Buddhahood. Even if one is thrown into cyclic existence, one will definitely not go there.

Om

with a sheepish grin and a pocketful of change small delights, big smiles!

well said!!

Hey Nikolai, What do you think is best for your partner? What is best for the kids? If you can find a way to ensure their happiness a hundred percent, then do whatever you want. But, their happiness comes first, even before your own. Why? Because you are totally responsible for creating this unit. You brought it to life. You cannot ignore this fact. Your intent, your thoughts and subsequent actions will have a reverberating effect on the whole. In this new exchange unfolding in your mind, You, and you alone, determines the future of this unit in tandem with whatever action or non-action that you intend to take according to the direction and circumstance your mind will create for you. Your past karma has led you to this place. Your present karma will decide your future one. By seeking to rise above the punitive impact of this present karma, you will determine the future karma of everyone involved (puny because its effervescent, and wont hit you like a concrete steel ball. Everything will roll on...). I am sure you already know this well, but somehow, mesmerized by the emotional stirrings, have temporarily become distracted. Its okay, as long as you remember your assets and liabilities clearly. Everything else is secondary. When you consider it like this, all the confusion will narrow down to only one, perhaps at most, two options. Then, the dilemma becomes less daunting. See? Age is never a factor where true love is found. im 53, my partner 26. Its a matter of being comfortable with genuine intimacy, which most men find fearful. When there is genuine intimacy, the relationship becomes one of mutual nourishment and balance. Hope you will find it in yourself to act according to the highest good of all.

of winds' resistance one needs to talk about farts silent ones, da bomb!!

love the quote, thanks! There are skillful and subtle ways of imparting wisdom and catalyze transformation in others. Some teachers do it (all the time) without the initiate even fully knowing or acknowledging they had been helped directly. After all, the highest transformation is also the most ordinary, the most complete and the most natural path. When one is in touch with the most ordinary, there is no need to even contemplate virtues like humility and equanimity, for do you not agree that in one who is realized, such qualities as these are spontaneously present? Its not that hard to see thru who the pretenders are.

Each step we make, each thought, each word spoken, goes into the ever-evolving mandala we each have created for ourselves, and herein, they slowly take form, strand by strand, moment by moment. A lot of unhappiness and fear and all those other unpleasant traits arise in people when they look at their handiwork (this mandala which they have created) and cannot find how each thing is connected within, in the process, become disassociated from the truth that every single aspect of this mandala is a direct result of their own body, speech and mind. By sharply focussing on the external creations, its understandable that a sense of helplessness could arise, but what we need to realize, and to remember, is that at the center of each single, unique mandala is found a perfect dot, the essence of which is timeless and perfect. Meditation is an exercise which we can undertake to return again and again to this boundaryless space. Having gained access, we will find vital rest. We can always begin anew, to create, to dream, to start again, freshly reinvigorated, clarity reinstated. From this clear plane, what is there to stop us being buddhas all over again? Something i read from Pema Kathang sums it all up nicely... In this blessed Buddha-land of irrevocable enlightenment, In the lofty abode of openness, The intrinsic nature of things, Having neutralized surface, depth, width, the limits of any dimension, On the highest plane where there is neither inner nor outer: The windows of vision are flooded with light. emaHo!!

Frugality and mindfulness. How very apt. Each lends meaning to the other. From frugality comes regeneration; from mindfulness comes wisdom. Nothing is more dynamic than a wisdom that regenerates itself. Its the basis for learning to awaken fully.

If i had one week to live, well, i'd live for one week. Problem is not how long we have to live life, but not learning how to live it in the right ways.

gotta meet people...! perm parlors would be ideal boston curly bob...