Leidee

School sux! I graduated 13 years ago. My main problem was that nothing taught there was interesting enough for me that I would bother taking the time to study. Many hours spent in the school counsellors chair telling me how I was underachieving and me telling them - "Give me something interesting to do then!"... Formal education is definitely a time delineated concept - so much to learn in such a small space of time. Week 1 learn this, Week 2 learn that...etc etc. So much emphasis placed on providing the "useful" tools. The whole system reeks of pressure - pressure of time tables, pressure to care, pressure to decide your future, pressure to do well...ARGH! No wonder people throw their hands up in despair! Also, it must be hard to teach and actually make a connection with so many students in one room. In all my years at school, I can only remember one teacher who really made an impression and I found out a few years later that he was a raving alcholic! (Maybe that is why he could see outside the square and get a bit fired up about things ) If you have a burning desire Rainbow, then follow it. At your age...the possibilities of following your desire without having to still achieve at school are minimal. So, you may as well suck it up as best you can and get on with it in that regard. (Harsh but realistic...sorry, sweets!) What works for me is to always try to have a little bit of my day where I can foster my dream/desires and start building the network that will eventually be my support for when I am ready to throw myself right in Just my feelings on the matter. I suspect, Rainbow, that whatever you do that arises from true desire and inspiration - you will achieve Don't worry about *how* - the universe will take care of that. Blessings Leidee

Hey there Coincidence/synchronicity - it is something I am always subject to and I don't always know what it means. For instance, I have a "friend" and lately, I have seen/heard his name everywhere for WEEKS. Eventually I had to send him an email (we had argued but I didn't want him to feel badly any longer) and since then the occurence has lessened. So maybe I hit the nail on the head with my message to him. There are also a couple of songs on the radio that I relate to him that I have been hearing quite a lot lately, too. Hopefully these will lessen as I am ready to move my life away from his I get strong "de ja vu" sensations, too. These generally just warn me to keep my eyes open...an event or piece of information that is important is going to come my way. Whether either of the above are particularly "taoist" occurence is hard to say. I suspect that anyone of a slightly spiritual/intuitive bent could access these occurences. Leidee

Saw the chinese herbalist today Had some acupuncture and got two weeks worth of some fairly pungent herbs to simmer and drink. Turns out that (overall) I am both yin and yang deficient. No wonder I am so confused ~~

Good morning Thanks for the replies. ForestofSouls - nice post. I have no expectation of perfection from my parents - what I would like is for them to (once in a while) be supportive of me. Without going in to too much detail - I have never heard from my parents that I could do anything I set myself to do, that I am beautiful (or I was told I was beautiful but that meant I would have to be careful of the lecherous advances of men ) etc etc...so my recent conversation with Mum is another example of this issue. I was told I was the "scum under the fridge" once... Trunk - I will get those herbs. I have only recently started to feel my anger and, at this stage, I think it has massive potential to transform my life and so, although I may be a bit "out there" for a little while - I would prefer to feel this for a while Yoda - doing triathlons etc is a new experience for me - but it is a way for me to tap into another aspect of myself - and the anger/aggression does feed in to that as an energy source. What I am doing now is truly trying to connect to my own nurturing side and my own supportive side. So, hopefully, (and it is getting better and better), I am less concerned to get the approval from my family because I approve, nurture, love, support and provide for myself Going to see a chinese herbalist today at lunch so it will be interesting to see what comes of that. Have a loverly day peeps Leidee

Oh well, so I hadn't replied again to this thread because I just couldn't connect to feelings of anger at the moment. Well - all I have to say is "Thank god for parents!". All it takes is one 20 min telephone conversation with my mother and I am feeling the anger!! It isn't that I don't love my mother....it just is that I don't LIKE her. She is what I would call a "bubble burster". For example - "Hey Mum; guess what? I am doing a triathlon in March...how cool is that?" "Oh dear, but you aren't really very athletic, you know?"...gee, Mum - I guess not - apart from all the sport I play and my tai chi and qi gong...I lead a very sedentary life...NOT. So - then I wonder - OK, so I feel the anger now...what can I do with it? I have realised that my anger is what puts the fire in my belly to live the life I want - this can happen if I use the energy of the anger. If I fall into sadness ("My family doesn't understand me") then that isn't so effective. Personally, my experience is my sadness keeps me as a victim to the circumstance...whereas the anger, when harnessed, gives me the boost to achieve something that seems against the odds to do. Just blathering on here...don't mind me

Maybe, Taomeow - you may want to consider the first couple of sentences of this post and acknowledge that there is a "right and a wrong way to teach (you)". Then, perhaps, once you are clearer on the kind of teaching/sharing you want and not the kind of teaching you don't want...then more of your teachers/mentors/friends etc will appear to walk alongside you. We manifest what we think.

Hi there Thanks heaps for your replies. I have something to say but I just got home from doing a 25-30km bike ride to the beach and some exhaustion has just kicked in! Cannot think, cannot type... Will speak soon, Leidee

Hi Rainbow Yes- our minds are capable of wondrous things...as are our souls...our chi...our smiles...everything we are. I suppose my experience has shown that most people prefer to believe that certain things are outside of their control or that "i have been OK like this my whole life, so why change now?". To truly take responsibility for everything you are and everything you manifest in your life can be a very difficult thing... For instance, I work with a lady who is sick in some way every single day. Many years ago, she had cancer and (obviously) she was able to beat this illness...but she seems to have been unable to beat that part of herself that still chooses to remain ill - 10 years later. I say that she chooses to remain ill because I have offered her the contact details of some amazing healers but she hasn't contacted them...even though the way she is living her life or treating her disease hasn't provided any relief.

I wouldn't agree to say that the Western New Year has "no energetic consequences". Even realising it is chosen arbitrarily - I feel it does have energetic consequence due to the energy directed towards it by the people experiencing it in that moment...it is given a certain power by virtue of the belief that it is a new year. Leidee

It can be confronting when you meet people either through a forum or in a social situation who seems to speak with such "authority" in their voice because sometimes I then feel like "oh...maybe I don't know". But, personality and strength of it, I feel is something that changes daily. Some days I am brash and probably considered to be one of those people who just likes to talk...and some days I am a bit more likely to consider things before I speak or even not speak at all...and then I may be considered more open to learning - but neither one of those assumptions is absolutely accurate. It all ebbs and flows. For me, it is all about being honest to myself in that very moment If the person next to me doesn't like it...*shrugs*...well, they can do whatever feels natural and honest to themselves in that moment, I suppose! Leidee

Hi again Rainbow Don't worry about your lack of knowledge....everyone has to start somewhere, right? Being brave enough to even be prepared to be open and to learning new things is a very big step and one you will find in life that not many people are prepared to take. As to analysing your thoughts - maybe you will find it helpful to reconsider this to changing the emphasis you place on your thoughts. Consider trying to make your thoughts quieter. Meditation is a good place to start with this but don't be too concerned with having no thoughts...because then all you will do is think about not having thoughts! Books can only take you so far and you will likely find that it will become more important to surround yourself with like minded souls and, perhaps, even someone with more experience in meditation and qigong who can provide guidance to you. Out of interest - where do you live? Perhaps there is someone in this forum who can provide you with the names of some people you can spend some time with? *hugs* Leidee

Trunk - good reply! Hi Rainbow - welcome Relax and enjoy the experience of your growth, if possible. Learning our place in the world isn't always "fun" and I would be more than happy to provide any support I can to you through this time. Take care of yourself Leidee

Hrmmm - scratch that (a little bit) - haha and the year hasn't even started. I will learn how to let a particular man in my life Take the Lead...if he ever wants to try again Leidee

Wayfarer - perhaps you miss the point in a sense Your "explanation" may not be someone else's acceptable/clear "explanation". So maybe what you are referring to is a desire to provide someone with the "right answer" instead? As to separateness - I feel in agreement with what you are saying. Leidee PS - everything can be fine in theory

Hrmmm...2007. I have realised I am a leader, not a follower - so I will explore that in 2007 and not hide it away for fear of incurring the judgment of other people (or my own judgment for thinking it might be a wee bit w@nky to consider myself a leader and someone who may not be comfortable to follow the norms in society...) Cheers to the New Year

Maybe the skill to explaining things is that you make the "hook" simple and then you let the person's mind go with it from there? Take a complex idea, find an introductory angle/entry point...explain that little part of it directly and let it unfold for that person from there...

Hi Michelle http://www.ini.cz/ranka/zen/zen050_e.htm <-- try going here and you will see the card I am speaking of

I am going off the beaten track here...cos I haven't watch the yuotube stuff ...but something Michael said struck a chord...thought I would share... There is a tarot card in the Osho Zen tarot called "Friendliness". It is two trees growing next to each other and their branches and leaves merge and grow into each other. It is a lovely card - which talks about the concept of friendliness...being your own strongly rooted, healthy tree. Still being close to the tree next to you...but not growing over it, or growing under it...still separate but together. No reliance on the other tree but, conversely, no emotional distance either. I have always liked that card. And something about the meaning attached to the card really gets me deep inside...still to work out how to have such friendships in real life but working away at it...

I practice tai chi/qi gong - cos i like it.

You can't sell if no one is buying.

Purely practical consideration - the sound quality is generally poor. When you combine that with his accent (or my Australian hearing accent!), it can be quite difficult to clearly understand what points he is trying to make.

Sanding wood! Seriously, I was sanding back the wood on my bed today to remove the stain to the pine (so I can put a darker stain over it...eventually) and 2 - 3 hours...in the zone...totally focused on one simple task...sand the wood Altho - I will have sore arms tomorrow...

Thank you both for the info Spyrelx - I have seen a few pictures and Tina and Frank doing tai chi on a roof top and, admittedly, the first thing that occured to me was - dirty, dirty air, squished in places - these things will definitely be a challenge! Thanks again. Leidee

Hrmmm... A person who seems to need to throw in..."with all due respect"...and then practice disrespect...and "i don't mean to condescend" and then proceeds to condescend...odd, don't you think? The Skyhooks had a song "Ego is not a dirty word" If I did not have an ego I would not be here tonight If I did not have an ego I might not think I was right If you did not have an ego you might not care the way you dressed If you did not have an ego you'd just be like the rest. Chorus Ego is not a dirty word Ego is not a dirty word Ego is not a dirty word Don't you believe what you've seen or heard If Jesus had an ego he'd still be alive today And if Nixon had an ego he might not be in decay If you did not have an ego you might not care too much who won If I did not have an ego I might just use a gun Chorus Some people keep their egos in a bottom drawer A fridge full of Leonard Cohen Have to get drunk just to walk out the door Stay drunk to keep on going' So if you got an ego You better keep it in good shape Exercise it daily And get it down on tape You know - I don't know if there is any relevance (I suspect there isn't)...the song popped into my head and then I wondered about the lyrics...I like the last lines about exercising your ego daily As long as ego doesn't throw a leash around my neck. Off to enjoy the rest of my tangent (ego included). Leidee

I wouldn't even begin to try packing from a book. I learned with a friend and it still took me months to get the balance right - and I thought I was still being conservative! OOeee - did I give myself some pains and not so good experiences... I think Chia could revise to his heart's content but it is (IMO) just not something that should ever be done on your own without guidance from someone more experienced than you. Still would be interested to see his new revised book, tho Cheers