Leidee

As a person who previously suffered with severe anxiety attacks, I can offer the following: Maintain a journal which lists your triggers (food, emotional stresses, hormonal changes - if a lady); Realise that, just as you have formed a habit of having anxiety attacks, you can also break that habit; Eat well and regularly; don't let blood sugar swings etc occur Sleep up to 8 hours per night (or whatever your body's natural requirement is). I would also try some guided meditations or full body relaxations, each evening before bed. But be aware that in a state of high anxiety (even if you aren't suffering an attack at that exact moment), trying to meditate may actually increase your general anxiety levels, so try to be concious of this and don't push yourself to meditate if you are feeling particularly anxious. Anxiety cannot be pushed through. You have to come at it from the side and disarm it! Consider a magnesium supplement - Bioceuticals Muscleze is a good one. It has muscle relaxant qualities and will also help you to sleep better. Avoid alcohol and recreational drugs, if you aren't doing that already. Get some counselling to help you through. The above list are the things I found most helpful. I have been anxiety attack free for over 4 years.

OK. No skin off my nose. Then, my next question, in my quest to be overly critical of someone I have never met and have no reason to dislike or harass, is are you truly seeking conversation or agreement? Tip: Watch our exchange. Was this not conversation? Would you consider it meaningful? Why didn't you seize the opportunity to examine your conversational techniques when offered a differing opinion or view, rather than go on the "attack" and assume that I had not had emotional exchanges or enough of them or that I needed to get out more often? And, why would you assume by my responses, that I didn't think you were getting enough...conversation, that is. We do understand each other. We just don't agree. Peace (again and again and again) L

And, perhaps, this kind of attitude is why you don't enjoy the types of conversation you long for. Not surprised by your response. Peace out L

OK Let's try it the other way... Maybe what you think is deep is, in fact, quite shallow and your stated desire to cut through small talk to a deeper layer of communication befuddles whomever you are conversing with. What is deep? What is shallow? I am not being a nit-picky Taoist with the whole "the tao that can be named is not the eternal tao..." schtick. The point is a conversation requires more than you and your desires, it requires the other person (or persons) for participation. I can't give you a book to read but suggest you try the approach of walking in someone else's conversational shoes, in this particular instance. Peace out L

One person's small talk is the highlight of another person's day. There isn't much to be learned in giving of yourself if you only want to give that which you desire to receive back. Are you trying to have conversations or test whether a person can fit into your "intellectual club"? Tis a quick way to spend many moments alone just wishing for some talk, even small.

Where in Australia can you buy smokes at 16? And, it should be pointed out, that you can only be a learner driver at 16. There is no "magic" age when someone becomes an adult. Quite frankly, I am glad that I didn't have any expectation from family members or myself to procreate at the onset of menses!

Many interesting ideas, arnquist. Not entirely sure I agree with any of your assumptions!

A few years ago, when I started on this meditation qigong tai chi thingo, I really thought I would find or achieve enlightenment. I didn't If any of you have read the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice, Lestat says (paraphrased) that we don't really change or learn anything new (he is referencing the supposedly unlimited potential for emotional/spiritual/intellectual growth in an immortal vampire's life), we just become more like who we are. Got me thinking...

There is no enlightenment and we are all just nuts. L

Freeform - liking the whole "middle ground" thing you have going on! Methinks you would have a better chance of getting in to my pants than Pietro ever would. Pietro, the PUA, would get from Leidee SFA. hahahah

Hrmm To flirt is to lie? I don't believe so. It is easy to construct behaviour around a set of preferred beliefs. Doesn't mean there is any value to the beliefs.

Yes, BCT, you are right - I select people I trust. And, even after I have selected that person once, there is no guarantee I will select that person again I have had experiences where I have been involved with people I didn't trust and it wasn't enjoyable, for a lot of different reasons. The last time I tried to be intimate with someone I didn't trust was about 4 years ago and I actually stopped him during sex because I just wasn't comfortable. Tis a shame because I was highly attracted to him but there was a feeling about the situation that I just couldn't shake...

Eh? women don't enjoy sex? I certainly didn't get that memo... I like sex A LOT but I am selective. I can't speak for all women but my experience is this: trust is a major part of sex. A man is coming into my person and my body (some women say it is an invasion!) - not just physically but on many levels. Without trust - there can be no action

man boobs = manbies maybe all of her heart chi wrinkled her boobs *evil chuckle* but, in any event, just enjoy the experience GT. I am sure you both have a lot to learn from each other - which is why you are drawn to each other

It just sounds kinda complicated and lacking in spontaneity... But then, I have a friend who would be classed as an "AFC", who could probably use some techniques or tutoring to help increase his confidence when it comes to women - so it all probably has its place...somewhere