...

reminds of of.. is very similiar to a set of falun dafa excercises. very nice set it seems.

yeah I thought something like that, too.... why bother at all interfering with politics and evil people and their schemes? I guess they feel they need to KEEP balance, and that there is no faith that the force will keep balance itself? are they just allowing themselves to be pawns in this act of 'balancing'? uh er... I dont know if I am making sense now. hehe does anybody else notice the difference in behavior of the yoda in these newer movies and the yoda that luke skywalker finds on that uninhhabited planet? haha it seems that exile and lonilness has certainly taken its toll on the little green guy... oh yeah and does anybody else feel that the backwards in talking a little old it is?

one thing.... I really like when the emperor first let loose that he knew the dark side... 'that to fully understand the force you have to study all of its aspects'.. or something like that.... If the siddhi's (is that what they were called..) that if they were evil, then the jedi council was just the flip side of that coin... the jedi's, were afterall, dogmatic in the sense that they did recognize evil. .... I want to read about the jedi who knew both light and dark sides of the force and brings them to balance... and so he is the most enlightened, and most powerful entity of the galaxy..... oh well, it was cool at the end when yoda was talking about having obi-wan commune to an immortal entity so he could learn the secrets of immortaliy. I liked that alot.......

doh ! sorry my sex is reserved for women not like I get any.... but uh... you know I think I am going to try my hand at d. cultivation at the red-light districts of frankfurt this weekend....

join the army .. basic training will show you alot of these kinds of excercises heh heh heh.... example... reach down and grab your ankles. now touch your ass to your heels. now raise your ass back up into the original positions. do 50 and see how it feels =p

hehe find thelink to the subliminal messaging. sounds great huh? I should now have....... these words: Peace/ be enlightened/ Awaken/ Transcend appearing every now and then.. in fact I just caught one..... hehe free for thirty days and you dont need a credit card to start... great... hehehehe.... edit, adding on.. I am going crazy. every 5 seconds a word I attribute to enlightenment pops up.. kind of distracting.... but lets see how it works....

good site... you guys got to check out the downloads.. free easy downloadsto some pretty cool stuff.... visuals... but some really cool sound files, too. as for buying that shit... I dont have the kind of privacy needed to be comfortable using that shit.

pot was a huge, massive bonus to my cultivation, when I was learning to cultivate. You know despite the fact that I am at a pretty shitty stage of cultivation I still think I am pretty sensitive to energy... why? well pot probably had alot to do with that!! that and solo-cultivation. pot made me crazy though. I really payed for its benefits... at times I could be delusional... paranoid.... hell for a while I thought I was jesus incarnate. (I still think I am going to be enlightened, at least, though, sooo....) anyways it really really helped me become sensitive to energy. you know old tantric dudes smoked alot of pot, experimented and even wrote manuals describing how certain kinds of strains effected the spiritual body... chakras more specificaly if I remember right. oh oh oh ! I did shrooms while I was in medic school. my first time it was great.I had been drunk for several hours before... was still a bit buzzed when I took the shrooms... first it was just crazy. it was like I was super-madly-wildly drunk and was and I was alllll over the carpet, giggling at everything giggling crazily... I remember talking about the energy.. all I could say was "the energy! the energy!"... dont remember what it was like.. except one part... I went to the toilet and sat down and put my head between my knees.. and just went out... I lost awareness of my body, I think. It was just a sea of energy. nothing dramatic. just blackness with this white flow of energy, except there was no black or white, or energy or no-energy, but there was flowing and yet there was no flowing... anyways it was no state I am crazy about being in. anyways when I woke up out of this I was enlightened. no doubt about it, I wasnt just trippin I really fucking was enlightened. ... though in a different sense that I fantasize about.. but I was so sure of myself. You might even say arrogant. people were disgusting to me. they were just poor dumb fools. I felt intuitively what they felt and thought. what REALLY fed all this is that not only could I feel what they were feeling... but they cowered before me. they were SO intimidated, and I felt it. I had never felt so much respect. anyways it wore off as soon as I went to sleep. when I woke up this feeling was still there, like residue, and it faded with time to nothing. it is great ti be reminded of this.....

thats...... a pretty good idea! =p

hey so i have done the practices... spent days and days at 6 hours apiece trying to pull the goddamn thing off, to no avail... i decided that it might com natural as i cultivated my spirit body... even at my peak, there was none... ...in fact i am more prone to nothingness sleep than vivid sleep... which is better.... i think it is a stage thing... nothingness sleep is better, i hear... but i need to experience astral travel in depth...

I had some people take me out last weekend, but nobody invited me out this weekened. They went to the club, had a little get together with lots of beer, put it in my face, and didnt invite me. Its bad becuase I want to get some german pootannanie, there is nothing to do if you dont have a car, and they didnt invite me. that hurt my feelings..... oh how I hate it when I feel any sort of bad emotion.... anyways i dealt with it and I am going to be lonely until I pass the german drivers test and purchase a car. (I think I'll get a nice once, a bmw ) but really this is a good thing, becuase I have plenty of time to meditate, a little motivation, and no excuse so..... after this I meditate....uh I hope...uheuheerrrrrrrrrrr.... well shit I just got invited to a party. so much for meditating........uh........I dont deserve immortality any time soon heh heh ehh... time will come...uhhh.. well also has anyone seen ron jermeny out of his 'ron jeremy' character? has he ever really typed anything normal sounding? whats with the all caps? do you think he has conditioned himself to, and limited himself to, this character? do you think he talks and thinks like that in real life? It's kind of funny, especially, especially becuase I dont doubt that he is somewhat spiritually talented. do you think he would go as far as to use a different screen name if he ever desired to post anything out of character? like show his feelings or something? hahhaha ron you're a funny guy, I dont think my forum experience would be as nice without you. as much of a fucking nerd that I am, that this forum means so much to me, I am such a mangina. ...... ok well I am going to put on a wifebeater, (to show of my tattoo's, of course) and go get drunk off this chicks beer. everybody pray I dont end up fucking the ugly chick I work with hahahahhaha. ha... seriously pray I dont hahhaah.. I almost did once, the first time we went out and i got drunk... erhhhh........)

hmmm. ok. so I was on the shitter.. and one thing kind of came up. probably this is .. my biggest issue.. I dont feel like it is an issue... I dont think it bothers me... but I have to accept the fact that it can be seen as depressing, and I might be repressing things. or maybe I'm not. but..... growing up was really hard for me. I was the kid everybody picked on. I was humiliated all the time... It was hell for so long... it was like this from first or second grade up to.. well.. until I guess I sort of withdrew from from people. I became a loner. I have only had one best friend... back in 2-3rd grade... in fact I think he was my only friend, friend. everybody..... I never advance a relationship past the friendly acquiantance mark. I dont want to, and even if I did I dont think I could. (probably becuase I just dont want to).... my few relationships with women, or girls rather, have been terrible. I cant really talk to women I am attracted to. well anyways I developed into a hardcore loner... and I have been ever since, I guess... you will never find another person more aloof than me, I promise you.... highschool was better once I hit my senior year. my senior year was great, actually... I was a loner, and had no friends whatsoever.. but people liked me... people thought I was goodlooking, and cool... and I was pretty muscular looking.... but still, I havent had any real relationship. but this isnt all... I dont love my parents. when I was younger they were ashamed of me. I dont think they really started to 'love' me.... until I joined the army.. my dad especially. I dont love them, and until recently I dont think they really loved me, if they even really do now. I resent the fact that their love isnt.... unconditional. unconditional. I really liked my mothers side of the family. I thought I loved my moms parents... but since I joined the army... they have changed in attitude... I feel like they used to love me and they dont, now anymore. this hurts... but not nearly as much as I think it should. in fact if I start to get emotional, I feel like I am working it all up in my head, that it is not really there. I feel a heaviness in my chest..... am I repressing it? also my uncle and aunt.. I am so fond of.... I tried to keep in touch... to really get involved with family life.... and I felt rejected. this hurt to... but again not as much as I think it should.... so what I have done is turned my back on them all... stopped trying.. this is my typical respone when I feel rejected. I reject back. ...... is this healthy.... so.. in conclusion.. I guess I am so alone. I have felt rejected by the few people I have met here in germany, and though perhaps if I tried I could actually be good friends with them all. but I decided to reject back. It is easier to reject, and I dont think I would enjoy any sort of friendship with these people anyways. but this doesnt mean you know, that I'm not lonely, you know? loneliness has been pretty much all I have known almost my entire life.. and it doesnt really bother me. I have known people who were mildly lonely.. they way they responded it was so pathetic... reaching so desperately for human contact. for attention. what would they do if they were put in my shoes? this boy who has never really been loved by anyone? I pride myself... in fact... that I dont need people. I really am a hardcore loner... I dont love anyone and I am not loved by anyone. no one has ever really 'understood' me. not like I want or need to be understood... but.... no one has really 'known' me. but I do have strength... I have a faith in myself.. I know about 'god'... I know I have the TRUE opportunity to become enlightened, even immortal. ...... that I have uncovered this.. 'secret' .... it is no secret... but it is like I am part of a new.. renessiance... (is that how you fucking spell that shit....anyways) ... maybe my weakness.... what might be killing me the most... is that I have not dedicated my whole life to it yet. I make excuses.. I joined the army... I am in bootcamp it's too hard... I am in medic school it is too hard to cultivate.... my time will come in the future when I financially comfortable. .... and my time will come when I am financially comfortable.... but there is no reason why my time cant come now. I would be lying if I said .... I dont have several hours everyday, now I am in germany, to meditate. all I have are excuses. lazyness. I need to find a way to motivate myself... I have been motivated before... I have done the whole 6 hour a day thing before. I have spent days in bliss becuase I practice in almost every wakeing moment. but not anymore. ... and I dont deserve anything until I devote myself entirely. It is alot becuase of this that I am lonely. that I WANT and even NEED to be lonely.. I dont fit in with other people. yeah sometimes I am open and talk about the shit I know... and people think I am fucking retarded.... this shit is my passion... my obsession.... it has been for years , now.. since I was 16? that was when I first got into taoism... via philosophy..... and my obsession means more to me than anything.... I joined the army for my obsession. the FUCKING ARMY jesus christ. (not to say I am not proud of this decision, becuase I still think it is a damn damn good decision).... maybe this is why I dont hurt. becuase my family... any would-be friends.... they mean almost nothing when it comes to my obsession. jesus why dont I meditate more..... despite I am privvy to this knowledge... this potential.. why dont I take full advantage of it... I am so weak..... how do I motivate myself to meditate more?? That would make me happy, I think, more than anything... If I could motivate myself so deeply that I can devote myself so entirely to TAO, enlightenment, and immortality... that freedom! how do I motivate my brain to to turn cmpletely unto god? ASCETICISM!! haha ha ha I will not practice asceticism but now I know why! hah ah aha ..... they destroy their bodies.. make living hell... and from the torment they bring themselves... it motivates them to break free from it. I guess I always knew this... but not on such a deep level....

you know what I do in showers? this is embarrassing, but what need have I of pride, hmm? you get the shower hot... hotter than your body can stand it.. but go gradual, dont hurt yourself... you take your nutsack and spread it out and let the hot water hit your balls. scratch if you like, it can be orgasmic. I have been doing this for years... I think it might be a mild equivalnt to.. pulling on your nuts and bringing jing up. heat seems to... activate it, ya?

gettin all sensitive and stuff..... didnt mean to hurt your feelings there man...

whoa 1776 say WHAT? uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh check the floor below your computer, make sure you didnt put a hole in it... you get pretty deep aahahaha ah well, if the worst student didnt laugh, it would not be worthy of being tao eh LOL love ya brother

ahahahahaha no ! I'm not totally sure what immortality is. at this point... I have so much work to do it almost doesnt really matter... not yet... buddha classified.. like 7-8-9 or so different types of immortals, right? ( I wish I had that text... or even knew what text it was..) but their are.. celestial... earth.. ghost... several types of immortality... so to say immortality is one thing would be kind of.. wrong I guess. I was going to say I forgot why I asked.. but I think I asked becuase you typed this... "I've been really WANTING to *believe* in immortality " you put 'believe' between marks, so I guess I am not sure what context you meant to type the word......

uh... what do you think immortality is?

but what was the point of your original post?

are you shooting for immortality, lozen?

I dont know about those answers man. you mean incessant, continuous shaggn? look I have down nearly two hours straight, when I am strokn myself nonstop, taking no breaks, and I had to stop becuase it was just getting... a boring b tired c I think I might be callousing my dick up... I mean the guys who went more 3+ hours.. come on... you took like 5 minute breaks here and there, at least eh?

actually I'm not going to iraq... at least not for a couple of years... SO I guess you have a crush on me now? Im sorry brother my shagg'n is for the ladies only, ok? you know did I mention my roommate is gay? haha is that funny... I am on his computer right now, there are actually gay-porn sites on the favorites... he could get kicked out of the army if I brought this to somebody. you know maybe all my yin is rubbing off on you ronnie, so if you want a good gay porn site I can post the links, brother... but I suggest you stick with the ladies you know? the whole dual cultivation thing, I dont know if it works with other men, eh?

His last human teacher taught him two forms of meditation. ........are you implying he has had teachers who are not human? I am assuming astral entities? somewhat fascinating... if you know any more about that, Id like to know more about that too... kind of fascinating...

haha no not at all, friend let us know how goes, though ok?

that kind of stuff excites me. ... do me a favor... buy it and tell me how it goes ok?

my heart center is my biggest problem. even in training, when I didnt practice, kundalini still shot up only to stop at the heart center, or 4th chakra. I dont really feel love. the only thing I think I 'love' is my parents dog and.... cat stevens music. all that buddhist shit, where you practice feeling compassion and love for all others.... I think thats bullshit... I would probably get off on it if I tried and did it... but I really dont want to. but, is this what I need to do to open my heart? right now... my most effective means of opening my heart.. (or at least I think it helps), is ...catharticism. (I think thats what it is called.. yeah pretty sure...) .. cat stevens, his music really opens me up to emotion. but... even THIS is questionnable! yes... will this help in the long run? as a taoist... I long for.... nothingness... emotion, I believe, as I take it from taoist text in which I hold alot of faith in.... emotion is a 'thief'. it is what robs me of my soul. when I feel this emotion... am I releasing it, or producing it? is this helping my heart center like I think it is? when I opened my heart center before...I still remember it... I was practicing diligently, hardly working and spending the whole of my day practicing. and even then, I think it opened only becuase I practiced once a week with a semi-powerful teacher (qualified student of ken cohen)... back then, I was listening to an assload of stevens... but can I credit that success with stevens? to the teacher? to the amount of practice I put in everyday? I remember... let me say... I had a crush on this girl in highschool, I was still a student... I was writing poetry... I was in a twist of emotion... I was truly the poet of the age at that time... I had never before experienced emotion like I did then.. of course it was all worked up in my head, but that didnt seem to matter....and it was not long after that my heart center opened. (in fact shortly after). Do I need to find a girl? I have read that it is important to love something external to the self to appease the 4th chakra. I have also been told (at HT board) that I should just breathe into it. I think that there is something more that needs to be done to the heart than get good qi circulation in there. I remember reading something by peter falk about his heart... I am going to wander through his threads... I have a bit of respect for you, peter man.... sorry for the incoherence for the post, I just type what I think as I think it, it seems... not so much a planned event..