jago25_98

I'm learning Chinese. Cantonese to be exact, but let's not worry about that detail for now. I don't suppose you've seen any side by side translations of any daoist books? I found the I-ching but it was in simplified. I guess I'll have to search more Taiwanese sites to find the traditional text. Literal translation would be nice if possible and a rrange of interpretation depths would be even better for study. Any recommendations?

I have bought an Oculus Quest which I have been using for exercise and to help loose a bit of weight. 1) There is a game called Beat Saber which looks very trance inducing. In particular, a few people have quoted out of body awareness and other trance like states. Care to comment? 2) There is an app on Oculus Go called 'Guided Meditation'. I don't suppose anyone has seen this app? I'm just curious. 3) Has anyone here used a cost effective EEG? I notice that the Dreem sleep monitor has some citations behind it but is there anything for biofeedback that's reasonably priced? I've noticed a few results in search here but if you can help me find what I'm looking for with some search terms, please do. -j

Binary and thus, computing was inspired from Yin/Yang in the I-Ching. I just wondered... why did we take it further from binary to trigrams? This could eventually meet up with linguistics.

Determining wants and needs, ah thank you, a good way to put it. I find if I have my eye off the ball the ego can grow into areas it's not supposed to be, then a bit later it comes round and gets you in the butt. Just got to remember to keep an eye on it, which is a different thing to how I'd been viewing it. The simplistic view I was holding was basically the idea that a view of what we think we are limits us and brings us attachment. I don't want to mix enjoying health with attachment to health, or enjoying who I think am with attachment to who I think I am such that when I die it becomes something painful to let go of. So wants and needs. That's the difficult one! I want to be healthy of course but it doesn't feel right to look muscles in the mirror. Then I relise why I've taken up running - because I somehow feel that's less egotistical. Overly complex to do with logic. Hopefully instinct can nail it. While I have experienced pain from ego perhaps I don't need to pay attention in this way.

I've noticed that for keeping fit in the past I've over relied on vanity and ego to motivate me. It served a purpose at the time and lead to good things. I improved my health for one thing. But I'm not interested in that like I was before. I started out for curiosity but when people commented on my success, although I noticed some of at the time I think I dropped the ball at some point and my ego swelled. This become the thing that kept me going. Since then I'm less driven by sex... I find myself looking for motivators. It's similar with language. I never thought I'd be able to learn a language but I'm slowly getting there with Spanish. I've found myself letting my ego swell as I just can't get over the fact that I'm speaking Spanish! I question, am I plain enjoying it or am I building an ego here... Can you comment? p.s. hope the webmaster can label the "New Topic" button image so I (and blind folk) don't have to wait so long over slow connections

There's 2 problems here. First, I release too much energy. It would be nice to fix that. Can you help? Second, she's attached to me ejaculating. Why is that? Is she testing me? -I really don't think so. Can I do anything about this? -ultimately no. But can I do things to help? Bondage(control)... sex surrogates(perspective)... other people... Last time we had sex she presumed halfway that I wasn't going to cum and it broke immersion; I wasn't given a chance. One guy replied her to say that she just needs to orgasm more. Well, she does and yes it is the typical sensitive afterwards sort. You need 2 to tango, can't force anyone to be open to wider orgasms. You need to be open to something to experience it. So this starts before the bedroom. She just has to have a dick inside her and she just has to feel it's going to ejaculate for her. You might think they'd be tension and knots in the body that could be massaged to open things up. But there's not. She's very flexible and supple. Perhaps there are tension but they are not held in a obvious way; preconcieved ideas. Maybe there's nothing I can do. Only someone else can change her picture now. Got any ideas? First, how to change the picture radically, and second, how to release less energy if I flinch and end up cumming.

Will see her again soon. I don't really have much faith in this but I'll try Ashwagandha. Can I learn to cum without losing so much chi though. How do I do that?

I don't think anyone really heard what I said, which was this: It can be better to just let go of desire and concentrate on sorting out the spirit. One thing at a time

Sex and spirituality do seem to be at odds at times. But personally it was sex that got me into spirituality. It did so on 2 accounts. First, it was sex that really first proved to me the feelings of chi. Energy moving around like this is really for many people, a first introduction into the idea that the body has these subtle energies. Second, it was a desire for sex and true love that brought my last 2 lovers into my life. Let me say that what the Monk in the video says is so true for me. And it is bizarre to experience. Something so against everything that when it happens it can change the way we view everything. For me what happened was I was feeling lonely. After a while I worked on myself and gave up the grasping for women(I thought). At that moment a women came into my life. But the spooky thing is that she was exactly what I was looking for. Since a new friend had been influencing me what we think is a good woman it was amazing that she was many of these things. What she was became an insight into myself. That is, external desires were a reflection of my inner self. She dumped me, and I can see that as a fault in myself I have to examine more. I was afraid of being tied down with children.. and maybe some parts of myself horribly dark.. did I just forget to truly love? I was unable to imagine a true greatness, and I was unable to imagine that greatness as taking an interest in me. Or am I just blaming myself? The next time around I decided to lay off women to focus on myself. In this time my sexual desire fueled a development of myself. I said no to some women but eventually I slipped from calmness and into wanting to be with a woman again, before I had finished working on myself, and I did this on a subtle level. That is, on a deep level I felt lonely and grasped for companionship. This resulted in meeting a woman with qualities I wanted, qualities that were so different than before because I had found that perhaps these qualities would be more appropriate for me. Once again I was amazed how what I desired came so true. To duplicate this effect twice really changes how one looks at life. Further into the relationship I know I have to work on myself. It doesn't stop. Any fault within myself comes to the surface in the relationship. Right now I have the problem that if I ejaculate like crazy as I did in the last relationship, I loose a great sense of vitality, yet the woman I'm with wants me to do this. Is this because I am attached to feeling strong and virile, and I hate to loose this on cumming? Am I greedy, wanting this sexual vitality to attract other women, or other vitality. Or am I afraid of losing her, that is, afraid of losing the sexual energy that I feel attracts her. There is an insecurity here, somewhere within myself. I have to meditate on this. Have I developed a religious ego? Is my ego tied into beliefs in chi and so forth? Would I be devastated to find it was all an imagines placebo? Can being a balanced person attract a number of women into ones life? That is, can it respond to the ego? I think yes. I can say that it works even with ones faults. That is, you don't have to achieve much internally for it to work. Personally I don't think I have much desire to be loved by multiple women. That is, not on a spiritual level. Of course what our ego wants and what our spirit wants are 2 different thing, or is it that we are limited by society? I know I want to be happy, but what makes me happy? Is it totally unfair to invite a woman into ones life and then get bored and change oneself after 2 years... or part of the journey? Is sex a bridge between physical and spiritual? That might explain the 2 knocking heads. It's frustrating for the spiritual the notion that it can be held back by the spiritual... and it could be frustrating for the physical to find a limit due to the spiritual; the praying boxer, the weight training priest. Perhaps actually the 2 are the same thing?! Or linked in a very odd way. Weight training has helped quiet my mind... meditation has helped physical training... If the attraction effect described above is a result of oneness of the universe then my girlfriend reacting a certain way is not an external thing, but my own internal problem. If a girlfriend sticks around for initial excitement and then leaves... is this what I really want? How is it my internal desires would create a thing that seems to damage oneself in this way? I'd like to say that men and women are similar. Highlighting differences... doesn't sound too helpful. The problems seem much the same. In fact, me mentioning problems is probably the wrong focus... should focus instead on the good things. Both sexes appear to be looking for wholesomeness, something long term. I remember plenty of women latenting `guys who just sleep around`, now we're reading from men who are lamenting of women who sleep around`. Even if there seems to be different timescales (Men: Don't go there twice, Women: Don't stick in a boring marriage), the parallels between the sexes are looking pretty strong. And I think I could draw comparisons for men and women for all the accusations listed in this thread. So let's remember what we both want; rewarding relationships. If we think we're doing good there's always sex to point out that actually there's a lot more we can do.

To simplify it you could try living on the 3 algae types, being very generous at first.

a friend is suffering from post natal depression slightly. It gets me thinking. It must be hard to adjust to that change in energy. I know it's hard for me when i go away to work. I can bring energy up my spine but like a lot of guys i have trouble bringing it down again. As a result lots of energy ends up in my head... So i'm thinking too much. I respond to this my meditating. But am i really achiving much? That is, am i sure i'm not simply bringing energy up and then simply releasing when meditating? After all, i always shed a tear and i don't know why when meditating. So what about inner smile? Well, all i can say is, easier said than done. That is, it's one thing to do it and another to fall into it. There have been times when i've seen such beauty in nature, like this could be the feeling, like a joy of a nice day, the countryside or riding a great wave. But these things are limited. Does ones life have to be this much inorder to feel this? And is this really it? In order to really smile again, that inner smile that goes on through the day, there's so much backstory... Some of which seems like it shouldn't be needed to tackle. That is, one shouldn't need to go as far as going back over childhood stuff, or past girlfriends, or fear of death... Just to feel inner smile? Ok, sprting these things help... But i didn't expect to have so much work to do.... So i wonder if i'm barking up the wrong tree... Because i've fely what i think is inner smile a handful of times in life, but never noticed a cool feeling flowing down the front. Thus, i appeal for your guidance.

Ok, after googling POIS it seems that although science disagrees with retention it is developing an opinion that I don't think completely disagrees with TCM. According to science (this is early days of research and I had to search a lot to get info), POIS seems to have multiple causes. People with no knowledge of Chi have come up with hormonal explanations and autoimmune explanations. There are definitely(as in clearly testable, peer reviewed) men out there who are allergic to their own semen. For them the test for it is simple and at least we have a straightforward understanding for those cases. Then there are hormonal causes, thyroid in particular, progesterone & Histamine in particular. There is a case of a guy who lost his symptoms when his wife became pregnant and then had symptoms again when she had her child. That is speculated to be a progesterone imbalance but I don't think it is relevant for my case. Histamine level changes sound more like me. Reading a bodybuilding forum there is a possibility that some can release much more Histamine on ejaculation than others and this is very much what sounds like to me because when I cum I cum very hard and for longer than other people (up to minutes), I can mentally reduce this but I can only reduce the overall ejaculation and it feels like I'm still releasing more Histamine than I should be. That could be an explanation. To test for this I want to test my blood hormones before and after ejaculation. There has been comments that diet plays a big role and again this chimes in because I'm crazy about diet... I've been trying everything under the sun to fix it. I may have a medical problem that exaggerates the first few weeks after ejaculating and the path to the next 3 months is the effects of general chi loss. This would make sense. I don't think Chi vs science is the correct way of looking at it. Chi loss is still valid, but in my case I may have a medical problem on top of this. There is no need to get into a science verses Chi debate because I really feel these are 2 different things - jing, a less pronounced effect when lost but also a different way of looking at it, with jing being a more holistic overview and science looking at the individual hormonal details. Consider both views. If you start reading up on this topic be careful not to get the various hormones confused and especially the autoimmune response that is accepted now, unlike the hormonal theories. I hope I can get a handle on this and then be able to cum every week or so as part of a karezza sexlife, or at least, not need to worry about it so much no matter who I am with. Then we can start addressing the emotional issues. I have been speaking to friends here, it is cultural for women as part of their identity here to have the power to make a man cum, it is part of the female ego here rather than in anglophone countries. So switching to another form of sex involves confronting the ego, I mean very much so, it's not the same here in South America, I've heard other people saying that. In my case we now also have emotional issues to deal with on top of that. Despite all this I think it better to start from here than start again from scratch with another woman, if possible. If it's not possible then I'll take advantage of brightside of that. I know she sounds like an ass but really, I don't think anyone is an ass. She's a great women, believe me, otherwise sensitive and kind. And intelligent. And so much more besides. I admit I don't like how the medical profession has programmed her, in particular with a tendency to view medical problems as psychological (I was sick on holiday and she didn't believe me until I was puking and others were too) The things I was looking for at the time, and on reflection, the things I still value, very much so. I can sense no change in what I'm looking for, that is why I stay, but my way to know within myself the real truth would be to not be with her and see what my desires manifest, when really I should know what I really want instinctively. I'll meditate on that. p.s. in particular the circulation problems to my extremities (I get pins and needles easily, cold feet when surfing in warm water sounds too much of a coincidence). As does restlessness at night, waking my partner up at 5am in the morning every day and needing 10 hours sleep, these are all Histamine level related, so I'm definitely going to have to check this out.

That's another problem. That is, the dependence on using sex for release, release of bad energy. That's not so bad if you're young with tons of energy to use up on this but older people have to find another way to do it. Can one ejaculate the bad stuff only? That's way beyond my level. I prefer to find another way to release it. For me I know I've let go of some problem energy when I cry during meditation. That's a slow process, something that can only work with a manageable amount of stress in life. It's possible to do this without relying on sex. There's a world out there beyond sex. The body will seem to scream to stop it. It's training, observing the ego with attachment and training the body to work better. But for me there is the issue of a link to my partner that needs to be considered.

Last night she was convinced it's something I choose until she could see how much this hurts me. She's a psychiatrist so to her whenever there some kind of problem she goes straight to the head as the source of the problem. She felt that I've read something and that I have created the reality around me from that. Only after she can see how much I would really like to be able to cum 3x a day without feeling any different as I did as a teenager, only after she can see I'm suffering does she believe what I say. When I was young I could ejaculate all the time. I only noticed feeling tired from it at about 18. But it was 2 years ago in the summer I had a very sexual relationship with a girl, cumming everyday at a minimum with no limit that I noticed I can't do things the way I used to. I noticed whenever I tried to exercise the next day I couldn't achieve anything. Further, my perception of everything was like looking through a fog. I started to limit ejaculations a little, and life was life again. However, I think this was a contributing factor to that girlfriend dumping me... not ejaculating when you're used to it effects the sex when learning it... things went stale and she ended it as she says she needs lust. My goals were different so I was cut off in a savage way. Now it's happening again but with some compassion and humanity due to me picking a more sensitive girl. "I myself would move on. Unless you can compromise with finishing once a week or 2. " It takes me 3-4 weeks to recover to a state where I can get things done without everything being an effort, making silly mistakes at work etc. It takes me 3 months to get to a strong state where it requires calm to avoid any overspilling of desire into unwanted effects. I think this is longer than it should be for my age. I'm 29. I feel this is because I've wanked and sexed by way to complete excess when younger. It seems maybe I've used up my resources quicker than other people because as soon as I felt desire my response was to masturbate (when younger), or have sex, when older. I'd love to be able to cum every week or 2 but I'd be living my life... except for perhaps a few days a week, in a fog. I think she understands how this is for me. I want to communicate that she has humanity. But, as she says, she has her needs. She is almost completely adamant that it is a need for her for me to ejaculate, and that it is a need for all women. I believe that she believes that. It maybe a false need but I recognize that to her it is real. We started to view her needing me to cum and me needing to not cum as the problem, not us. Can you help us with that problem? Can I learn to cum without losing so much energy. When I cum I cum so hard, that could be the difference between me and other people. She has all of Spanish and English speaking society on her side to back her up. It is easy to feel like the whole world is saying I am crazy and nothing to support how I feel. I, on the other hand have no credible support that what I say is real other than the emotional effects apparent. All I can say is that this is a very well known thing in China and in France they have a proverb about it - I'm not making it up. There is no doctor to support me (Chinese Doctor?), and other than this forum I'm 100% alone in my convictions, which have had to be very strong to get this far. Of course I know that if I need confirmation that it's not in my head, again, all I have to do is cum and then I got another 3 month wait to get back to where I was. It would be great to have a TCM doctor show some support for me, or just someone else in person who can give some support. The whole thing has created a bigger problem now. She says she doesn't feel the same for me now. She's not treating me with the same care and love. There's an additional problem now around lovemaking, we're now dysfunctional there. Dysfunctional in a way that may be too hard to repair. That's a new problem on top of the old problem now. That's a different reason for us to part. But it's a shame to have to do so, so much time and effort invested, it was going in the right direction at first. I'm ok and happy, it's just her who needs the lust. Now it's a problem hanging over us stopping us from connecting. We have to get over that first to even connect again it seems. When I start talking like this it really does feel like we have made it a bigger problem than it is now and it gets hard work. Being decisive I would say that I am here to teach these women about true love, to show lust for what it really is and set them free. If they want to. That's why I don't want to simply walk away, I have to judge if it is right and I'm not sure it is.

She wants, needs, must have me to cum. She is attached to it. I ask her to let go, to experience freedom. I have not cum in 3 months. She can't stand this. It's terrible for her and she says if she can't have this it will never work. But I know what I need in life. Or rather, what is good for me. The key thing here is that it doesn't just feel like a want from my body, to give good health, or indeed a subconcious thing. It actually feels like a desire from the soul. And that gives me much strength, and decision. I know what my soul wants - I want to be myself once more. The life I am living is not my maximum, it is not life, not fully. Every day colours get brighter but there is some way to go before I feel natural again, connected with whatever it was I was before. It is essential for me. It would be a travesty to have this knowledge and not to listen to it. I wonder, perhaps it is _I_ who is attached. Attached to the advantage of not cumming. Perhaps I should let go. Letting go is not what causes me to cum, it is attachedment to desire and lust - thoughts which are not creative. Let go of desire and we are so free. No need to work all hours made to afford designer clothes and be attactive, in just one example there. To reiterate, I have patience in my sex, but she does not. Tonight I asked her to let go. I feel that's all I can do. If she cannot then I guess I have to try elsewhere. I asked her why she needs me to cum. There was a brick wall of `I just do`. I can't push this. She seemed to go futher and cried a little. I hope that is something. I am demanding. Life is not easy. "lonliness itself fades and social activity becomes a choice rather than a "drive" much the same way sex does." Thank you for this. I will meditate on this. If I can feel it from an earlier time, I will be inspired. Thank you for the support, again, can we just confirm that if I leave this woman, there are women out there who work with this in a positive way, or indeed that I can also work on myself to eliminate the thing inside me which brings these women into my life. Otherwise I will simply experience the same thing again in 6 months time with woman no.3, and that's not fair. Peace