beoman
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Everything posted by beoman
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Hey, wanted to report a phenomenon. These days, whenever I lie down and meditate and get into a really comfortable state, I start getting bubbles bursting all over my body. By 'meditate', I don't mean do energy work or anything - I mean relax, get into a nice state of mind, start doing vipassana or samatha if anything. When I am relaxed, I'll get little bubbles appearing + bursting all over my body. I think they are related to energy. Each time one forms + pops I feel slightly better. stuff all over - arms, legs, chest. some really deep ones, some very light ones. some interesting ones around my knees - sometimes I get not a bubble, but it's like both edges of my knee suddenly come in and press quite hard, squeeze tightly, then are released. I don't control any of this, but it happens. It especially happens if I hurt myself, like strained my wrist from drumming too much. I'll get tons of little bubbles around the damaged area. if i lie down long enough (30min-1hr) i get so relaxed, don't want to move around anymore =P. anyway, if i smoke some of the marijuana, this process happens even more so. nothing forced in any volitional sense, it just happens more. really don't want to get up then. I've noticed a few times that, after getting tons of activity in, say, my legs, or my lower back, they will actually be sore the next day or two. This has happened a number of times. I've tried to correlate it with extraneous physical activity, but it seems to only be correlated with when i do this process. my question is - what's going on? is it healthy (for muscles to get sore from this?)? anything i should change (not that i do anything in particular..) to make it 'work' for the 'better'? (in quotes since i dont know what it's doing or whether it's better. my intuition is that my body is healing itself and that it's great, but i dnno.)
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relaxing causing energy causing sore muscles?
beoman replied to beoman's topic in General Discussion
this was my main reason for posting. i didn't mean that i did lots of physical activity (i know muscles get sore from that =P) - i meant that i had a lot of energy activity from the relaxing-meditating, NOT physical activity, but my muscles got sore afterwards. at least, that's what it seems like. is it possible for that to happen? -
this site seems dedicated to getting people to look. seems to work! =P.
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hello all. i started doing a practice that i didn't read about. so far i'm just winging it and doing what feels good, but it might be informative to have it put into a greater context. i can do this thing i got out of "Opening the Energy Gates of the Body". the idea is to do a body scan from above the top of your head going down to below your toes. you're supposed to move your attention down your body like a plane, just noticing any blockages or tension or any sensation really along the way, only moving down not up (though i find it doesn't matter now). you're supposed to use this to identify energy spots and dissolve them but i haven't gotten that far. if i do it correctly, and i'm getting better at it, when i go down to my ankle, then the sole of my foot, then the tip of the foot, then the toes, then past the toes about a foot into the ground - it's a definite spot that i can intuitively reach - then i feel this great peaceful downward flow over my entire body. basically it feels like all my energy is draining downwards, except i'm not being depleted - just a really peaceful affective well-being is left in its place. if i focus on that spot 1 foot beneath me then the motion is increased. there's a tendency to link it up with a spot above your head - and i wonder if they're similar - but i think you have to not do that. i started doing goenka-style body scanning and that seems to have a similar effect, though maybe more thorough cause you go over your entire body in more detail. i dont get the draining motion, but i do get the affective well-being, and if i focus on the bottom then i can go from that to the draining, too. body scanning is: scan the body, going in this order (my personal order): head, chest, left arm down and up, right arm down and up, mid-body, left hip, right hip, left leg down and up, bottom body, right leg down and up, mid-body, chest, right arm down and up, left arm down and up, neck, back of head, top of head, face, rinse + repeat. scan means to put your attention there and intending ONLY TO WATCH, and not do anything else, try to feel a sensation on that particular part of the body. as soon as any sensation is felt there, move on. what ends up happening is i feel little gaps, and i try to put my attention there, and then it feels the gap is released and i feel a sensation there, then i move on. so it seems like im releasig energy blockages perhaps? the more i do body scanning in one session, the deeper this sense of affective relaxation gets. when i scan through one time, i'll notice gaps that i'll put my attention on until i get a sensation there, which then feels like my body is filled in with those sensations. the next time through, the thing that i filled in now seems like a coarse gap, and i can look even deeper to fill in more sensations. as i do this i become overwhelmed by this really heady affective relaxation. it's weird.. it's not blissful, really, though it seems intoxicating in a similar way. it's not like all body-affect is draining a way to leave none behind, it's like this 'relaxed'-affect is filling in. but as i body scan more i almost get restless and impatient as it feels like i can't take it anymore.. but at the same time there's an interest in filling it in more to see what happens. i think it would be better to feel this way than to feel fearful and anxious. seems like if i stabilize in it it would be easier to get felicitous/have it all disappear (which is the goal of PCE practice, see here). anyone else have any experience with this? it's like all the negative affect is just going away to a nothing-spot. is it healthy/dangerous? =P.
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if y'all are going on Goenka retreats i really recommend you read Mastering the Core Teachings of Buddha, as well as this guide on how to get stream entry during a goenka retreat: http://thehamiltonproject.blogspot.com/2010/11/going-for-stream-entry-on-goenka-10-day.html . that way you can actually get stream entry - it's pretty useful! i think the biggest thing preventing goenka people from getting stream entry is lack of realization of how possible it really is.
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hey rainbow_vein, thanks for the tips! i believe you're correct on all your points: i feel a bit woozy if i keep doing it, so seems like i should not push very hard. when stuff is happening i try to use it to my advantage immediately, like 'oo now i can go and solve THIS problem i used to have' and i start doing that. what actually helps a lot if that the scanning method i use, the goenka, emphasizes to pick an order on the body and stick with it, not lingering on any point once you have experienced a sensation there. having that resolve forces me to keep going and i never regret it (as more interesting/beneficial stuff happens that i wouldn't have thought of). i realized this already but i'll emphasize it even more now that you mention it. thanks again! =).
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how does it differ from "opening the energy gates of the body"?
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EDIT: oops, moved it here
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Hello all, Too much vipassana has made my head hurt! Basically, at all waking hours (and sometimes in dreams), i have a fluxing set of very hard, solid-seeming, often-painful sensations in the center of my head. the focal point seems to be slightly behind the eyes, in the center of the eyes. it's pretty much like if you draw an axis through the crown, the 3rd eye and the temples, where those lines intersect is the focus. it often moves around, though, sometimes splitting in two and hardening at the temples, sometimes moving up more to the crown. on a few occasions i can get my whole body synched up in a nice way, for example (recently): "i began observing disturbances in my body and trying to let them go. this worked really well (it doesn't always). starting from sensations in the groin/lower abdomen area, i focused on them and the sensations disappeared, revealing other disturbances above them in the stomach. they too disappeared, then the chest became apparent. those too went and now the neck became apparent. that, too, dissolved, and now the focus of that process was brought to the already-disturbed head. here i really just let go somehow (which i can't always do) and it's like the releasing-process went through them and 'fixed' them in some way, though they didn't disappear. i think the process then moved to the crown, but i'm not sure. after that, there were sensations back in the chest area (not sure if i noticed anything going from the head to the chest). after that, it was like all the sensations in my body were coming from one spot. i felt my head and my feet simultaneously and they were all overlapping in the center of my awareness. it was really great and i wish i always felt that way! but alas soon after this there was some gap or shift, at which point the unity dispersed. normally it all falls apart after that, but this time i noticed the process was starting again from the groin/lower abdomen area. " anyway, that feels nice, but when i get up and go about my daily life the painful sensations return. i know some tai chi (not a lot, i basically know the solo form) but even if i don't notice it while i'm doing the form, the sensations return again. i don't know any chi kung besides the form but even then i wasn't taught to focus on any part of the body or focus on the flow of energy or anything, i was so far just taught the physical movements. there also seems to be an obsession aspect to it. being so prominent i tend to focus on these sensations, and focusing on these sensations in some ways (not in all ways) hardens them. any recommendations on how to ground myself/resolve this issue?
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it's not a headache, though. i feel like it should turn into one but it doesn't.
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oo that did help a bit actually, thanks! ill have to try that one a few more times
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aye, it certainly seems like my awareness stems from there, though the point of what i'm trying to do is to realize that awareness doesn't actually stem from there =). and it doesn't, actually, from what i hear of the more awakened people that i hang out with. i know what you mean about intuition. i feel sometimes like anything i read my mind connects to stuff i'm doing now.
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i'm 22, living in NYC. about it being a medical issue: i'm pretty sure this is an entirely mental process, as it has almost completely faded at times. it seems intimately linked with desire and 'self' and intention and stuff, not to any physical things. interestingly, if i touch my head and the inside of my mouth where i think i feel it, the sensation subsides. that makes me think it's not physical-based at all, and that the physical touch is obscuring it. that is what i'm going for! i don't consider it a spirit rising so much as a process happening, but might just be mincing words =P. ah interesting. i thought the crown was the point on the very top of the head. ive heard about the one you mention but i thought it was called something else. would projecting upwards in that fashion really be a good idea in my state though?
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I have not - can you recommend info on how to do that?
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Well it's not that I sit down to meditate so much, it's more that my constant way of existing currently is focused around painfulness in my head, so even if I don't sit formally, due to momentum and stuff it will manifest. So I'm thinking I need to do more than just stop what started it, but to work actively to relax it. I did stop actively meditating for a month or two but this pain actually prevented being calm and peaceful anyway. What is energy projection?
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o man he says "don't dissolve points in the brain without a master directly guiding you" - too late, in the brain is where it hurts the most! the just breathing stuff is good too, the book has sections on Longevity breathing, and practicing that is quite nice and relaxing. ah thanks for this too! i remember i used to just move my body around and sway my head when sitting down, that seems to help, though it looks a bit weird.
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Ah thanks for reminding me I have the book! heh. I've started looking at it again. Tried scanning/sinking/dissolving and had some success, tho it's a bit difficult cause the most painful points are the ones at the beginning - the crown/3rd eye/center of head area - and it's hard to let them go. But I think trying this out every day is a good idea. Thanks also for the suggestion to just put it aside, hehe, it's also hard to do cause my mind basically meditates on auto-pilot nowadays unless I'm distracted, but I'll try reprogramming the auto-pilot to scan/sink/dissolve downwards instead of focusing on the center point in the head.
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Is it possible to damage yourself in some way by just sitting there and meditating? I ask because I was sitting there, meditating, yesterday. Felt a build-up in my head/crown area. Realized there was some fear of something bad happening associated w/ the build-up, so I was able to diminish the fear and build-up more. Then my vision started getting filled with these clusters of things - nothing shaped, not really white light, but something blocking the vision. It felt like my head would explode. After a bit of this I decided was getting too uncomfortable and I didn't want to hurt myself, so I opened my eyes to stop. I couldn't see anything even with open eyes except the cluster things. I shook my head, tried to stop focusing, and eventually they diminished, except now I was seeing colors really weirdly. The background was a deep orange tint. Looking at my hand, the outline of my hand was black, and the flesh was green and purple. Eventually the colors restored to normal, but 'twas weird/scary for a bit. Anyway, if I kept going, could I have damaged something? Or maybe just experienced something unpleasant but not ultimately damaging? (Or maybe something wonderfully pleasant?)
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is it possible to hurt yourself by meditating?
beoman replied to beoman's topic in General Discussion
This thread has been so awesomely hijacked =). -
is it possible to hurt yourself by meditating?
beoman replied to beoman's topic in General Discussion
I think he meant, what I was doing is probably not physically harmful though it could be mentally destabilizing, therefore grounding might be a good idea. -
is it possible to hurt yourself by meditating?
beoman replied to beoman's topic in General Discussion
No particular teacher, just MCTB and thetaobums, Dharma Overground, and Kenneth Folk Dharma forums. Perhaps a teacher could be useful.. but I feel I'm somewhat far along and it would take some time for where the teacher thinks I am to synch to where I think I am (which could be wrong of course), so for now I'll keep experimenting on my own + posts like this one. But I'll keep this suggestion in mind! I had a feeling that maybe something would happen, but it was scary / had a feeling of not being ready. The consensus here seems to be.. back off, relax, ground yourself, then try again later. Sounds like good advice =). I'm learning the tai chi form so I can do the part that I know so far. Could you share the technique, or is it private? thanks! to you (and everyone else here) as well. -
is it possible to hurt yourself by meditating?
beoman replied to beoman's topic in General Discussion
Hmm... I believe I might have been sitting with the intent to see what would happen, but without any initial idea to make something happen. But pretty quickly I began noticing mental states. Like I thought I was entering a jhana, and noticed a surge of trying to get into the jhana, and identified it as greed/desire. Soon I noticed the build-up, and the fear with it, and then I focused on allaying the fear and increasing the build-up to see where that would go. I was sitting on a somewhat comfortable chair, leaning back. I wasn't trying to breathe any particular way, so I suspect it was abdominal breathing. This event happened pretty soon after I sat, maybe the whole sitting, build-up, decision to stop, shaking off the colors took 15 minutes? -
is it possible to hurt yourself by meditating?
beoman replied to beoman's topic in General Discussion
Buddhist meditation. Generally Vipassana, with either noting practice or just being aware of everything. Sometimes I do Samatha and try going through the jhanas. That is my background. At the given moment I just noticed the build-up and focused on that, along with the fear associated with it as I mentioned. -
Anyone heard of the nine jewels, in the context of tai chi, of which the ankle is one of them? What are the rest?
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Oo awesome, thanks! Can I ask what significance the last three have? I can understand the rest and why they're important but currenly the last three seem to me as random points on one's back