Audiohealing

torus: have you ever been institutionalized?

I did the "hui yin" or whatever its called gate-closure while ejaculating to prevent it from coming out. It came out anyway. And now I don't ejaculate anymore. Maybe one or two drops max. I think I may have messed something up...

Hi everyone, I found out about Kunlun right here from TTB. I got the book and finished reading it a couple of days ago and have started level 1 practice about an hour a day for the past two days. Well.... nothing happens. I just sit in that posture and eventually my right shoulder starts getting sore from being elevated. I don't get any wild bliss or body movements or anything at all. The book does not mention what kind of breathing/visualization/mind work should be done while in the posture? What should I be focusing on energy-wise. Where is the energy supposed to go/accumulate?

I'm mostly asking the question because I started the "reverting the semen to nourish the brain" practice. My question stems from the fact that my sperm, although liquid and in normal amounts, does not contain any sperm per se. So am I wasting my time with this practice? Is it the actual sperm or the sperm fluid that nourishes the brain? Has anyone that has gone through with this practice found it worthwhile? I am just beginning to explore tantra and a mental roadblock that comes in my way is the fact that I am on testosterone replacement therapy. My body is obviously not hormonally harmonious, even though I feel good. I'd really appreciate if anyone that has an opinion could chime in on this... I have no intention of coming off of androgen replacement therapy unless the cons outweigh the pros which they most certainly do not for the moment.

A was reading a chinese article about the disaster yesterday and lets say there were some mixed opinions in the comments underneath...

I just received my flying phoenix chi gung DVD... all set to go... EXCEPT!.... I can't sit in a lotus position, or half lotus... AT ALL.... not even close. I can sort of sit cross-legged but I lose feeling in my legs after 10 minutes and I need something to support my back or I have to strain to keep upright. Can I do FP anyway? Is there any way around this? Or should I just start practicing the lotus position and hope that I can sit in it after a year's practice....

Well that's good news. There's no way that any of the practices will replace my existing medication (at least not in the short term) but its encouraging to know that I will at least still reap some (complementary) benefit. And yes, I *know* how destructive benzodiazepines are. I have been tapering them for 9 months trying to come off and I just can't do it. I am going at an incredibly slow pace, too. I start getting derealization and depersonalization, can't feel my own body, my heart starts pounding like it jumps of my chest and my depression worsens by at least 10 times (it's already bad). There are pros and cons but right now, the way things are in my life, there is no way I can come off the benzos. No freaking way.

For the "newbies" that posted in this thread: Did you feel any joy or bliss along with the movements? The most I experience is extreme boredom. I don't want to sound cynical or arrogant, but it's true. This is what happens when I do Kunlun. I get bored and my body gets sore. End of story. I will still keep at it but I must say I an jealous of you guys getting results on your first sessions!

Is it your own opinions about which drugs/medications can kill chi... or tear holes in auras, etc. It sounds like most of it is made up conjecture. I mean... it can't be tested by empirical science so how can one really know what it does to a person in regards to chi? it's all subjective, no? You have to be majorly clairvoyant and actually WATCH SOMEONE in real time on LSD to see what it's doing to its auric body. I've heard so many theories that vary for person to person that it's hard to believe any of it. The fact is, I have to be in this medication because without it, I am not functional. Like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder is not curable. So I have to make due with what I can. If a person on medication still feels chi running through him and feels that he is reaping benefits then that's all that matters IMO.

I have a question for Sifu Terry or anyone else that can chime in: I cannot sit in a lotus position. Not full lotus, not half lotus, not even quarter lotus. (Well, I can *almost* sit in quarter lotus but it's painful and my knees still don't touch the ground...) Can Flying Phoenix Chi Kung be practiced sitting on a chair and still have the same benefits? Thank you.

Well I want to try both methods to see which one suits me best. I will not be practicing both once I decide. I tried sitting in quarter lotus and its still very painful and my knees still don't touch the ground. Can I do FP seated in a chair? I guess I'll ask in the FP thread...

As long as we're on-topic on drugs/meds that kill chi... I'm on psychiatric meds for bipolar disorder... there's really no way around this for me. It's either that or I'm dead. I know a fair bit about psychopharmacology... but the one that worries me most are benzodiazepines. (anti-anxiety medication) I've been on them for about 3 years now. Can I still reap benefits from cultivation practice ? It's a bit discouraging putting so much effort into practice and having the thought in the back of your mind that its all useless.

Thanks for the reply guys. The most I can handle is 20 minutes before my right shoulder gets too sore. I have no idea how you guys manage to keep your right shoulder raised at a 90degree angle for an hour straight. The most I get out of the practice is a feeling of peace and relaxation... especially during the closing posture. Mostly because I don't have to keep my arm raised anymore! If I put my right arm down... wouldn't it no longer work? Its very frustratring.

Can you please describe these "toxins" you are clearing out?

Hi everyone, I'd like to know your opinions on the importance of visualization. I am almost completely unable to visualize. I can hold a recall image in my "mind's eye", but it's still very difficult for me to even do that. I envy my girlfriend for instance, who is an artist, who starts seeing beautiful scenery and vivid images as soon as she closes her eyes. For me it has always been a black screen for as long as I can remember. So how important is it? I have been unable to follow many guided meditations because of this. Are there any exercises I can do to improve it, or should I focus on my other senses? The only thing running in my brain is an endless chatter.

Hi everyone. I've been lurking here for months. This is my favorite forum no doubt. Can't wait to contribute