Aaron

Thanks for Thanks for the info. You actually have to click on the little |> shaped thing and then navigate through the options on your gmail account to opt out. I guess if you don't have a gmail account it might be easier. Aaron

I don't make many posts anymore, but I felt the need to comment on this one. First, you are who you are and nothing can change that. The fact you've accepted it is great. The fact that you want others to accept it is commendable, but in doing so realize that your situation right now is the most important thing to consider. I would not come out to your family if it means you might end up without a place to stay, instead work on becoming self-sufficient and when you're no longer dependent on their support, then you can come out. As a bisexual man I know what you're going through. I went through much the same thing. You want people to know who you really are, to love who you really are, but regrettably that doesn't always happen. I lost many friends, but my family pretty much accepted who I am. I don't know of a single family member that has been cruel or callous to me because I came out. In the end they help me when I need help. I go to family get togethers, etc. etc. Many of my family members are hardcore christians and I shake my head in frustration when I see another "Marriage is a man and woman" post show up on my facebook, but that's who they are and I can't change that. I guess I have gone beyond the whole gay and straight thing these days. I don't stay in the closet, but I don't advertise my sexuality either. Most people either don't understand, don't care, or care in a negative way, so rather than try and justify it I just live my life day to day and enjoy it to the best of my ability. With you, I hope that things work out, but I would recommend caution and patience. I hope this helps. You have my support and you're in my thoughts. Aaron

Some common dream meanings for what you've described are as follows- Curses- A belief that someone has harmful intentions towards you. Lifting a Curse- That you've been able to overcome these perceived intentions. Books- Depending on the type of book, it can mean anything, but normally a desire to know more about the topic, or in the case of this dream a belief that you have a thorough understanding of the topic and already have knowledge of how to deal with it. A general interpretation of this dream is that you feel that your mother and friend intentionally tried to harm you, and that you have been able to overcome that harm (you were cursed after all). You believe that you know the methods they used and are capable of cursing them by returning the curse to them, which indicates a possible desire to harm those that have harmed you, and as a result you may need to work through this more, since it is occupying time in your subconscious. Some things I might suggest you examine, how do you feel about the people involved in this dream? What in your life recently has caused you to dream about this now? Have you worked through your feelings, or is there still lingering pain and resentment? The fact you had this dream seems to me to indicate you are ready to deal with this issue, but ultimately it's up to you to deal with it. By the way, I would bet the Narrator is your prime consciousness, the part of us that everyone has that is aware of what's happening on a conscious and subconscious level. Keep in mind that the prime conscious isn't always right, rather it is making its judgments based on what it knows. You obviously feel you have achieved the state of kundalini, but what does achieving that state mean to you and why is twice so important? I hope that helps. I will not be responding to any comments regarding my post here. However if you wish to contact me by email, I'd be happy to discuss it on a one on one basis. (Note that doesn't include the forum personal messaging service.) Aaron

It's seems like it's been awhile since we had a good discussion about something that can actually have a deep impact on someone's life in a practical and experiential way. I know from experience that practicing the three treasures can do just that, so I wanted to start a discussion about each of the treasures, with a final section about how they all come together. I chose not to have the discussion in the Taoist Discussion section because I wanted people to be able to express their own ideas on these concepts, even if those ideas might stem from other spiritual or religious ideas. With that in mind, I didn't start this topic to question the validity of these practices, if you want to do that, please start a new topic, rather this series of topics is to discuss how each of these treasures can help to better our own lives and understanding of Tao. Referencing the chapters is always nice, but I hope that we're all familiar enough with the Tao Te Ching that it wouldn't be completely necessary. The first treasure, as most of us probably know, is compassion, sometimes referred to as mercy, other times love. I think it is the most important treasure, because without it, the other two treasures really can't be practiced in a spiritual way. In fact, for most spiritual traditions, it is believed that all spiritual practice depends on one's own understanding compassion, or to put it another way, one cannot hope to grow spiritually without understanding compassion and practicing compassion. With that said, we should ask ourselves what exactly compassion is? We can always refer to the dictionary's definition, which is an understanding of empathy of another person's suffering, but at the same time, is that all it is? Is it just enough to empathize? Can we simply understand another person's suffering and hence gain a deeper spiritual awareness from this empathy? I don't think so and I think it's this underlying meaning that causes many translators to choose the words mercy and love in compassion's stead. In the eyes of Lao Tzu compassion was not some abstract thought process, but a very real and physical response that is a result of our empathizing with another person. Lao Tzu, I believe, was asking us to respond to our compassion, to act on our compassion, to ease the suffering of others, for as he said, "only he who is willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of the world is worthy of ruling the world." So it's not enough simply to have compassion for others, to empathize with others, we must act on this relationship, understand the nature of it, and allow that nature to drive us towards a selfless desire to help others. If we can honestly practice compassion, then we can honestly begin to be compassionate. Honestly is the important part, although not completely necessary, for who can question the motives of a man who provides for food for the hungry, or water for the thirsty, if they ultimately ask for nothing in return? In fact we should remember that there is nothing wrong with "faking it" until we are able to practice the act selflessly. We should also remember that compassion isn't simply about giving material goods, but also giving of ourselves, cheering up someone who is sad, consoling someone who has lost a loved one, offering directions to someone who is lost, but it can also be offering advice to those who are on a path of self destruction, after all the good man is the teacher of the bad man, just as the bad man is the student of the good man. The most important thing for us to consider is how far are we willing to go to offer compassion to another person? Are we willing to give ourselves entirely for the sake of others, or maybe more pointedly, are we required to do so? Well, the answer, in the case of those who want to rule the world, seems to be yes, but for the rest of us, perhaps we just need to do the best that we can? I sincerely believe the more you do for others, the more you receive in return, especially when that kindness is offered selflessly. Just as the more we take from others, the less we will receive from others. It is our willingness to do something, simply for the sake of compassion that increases our understanding of the nature of compassion and ultimately a deeper understanding of the other treasures and our own human nature. I know this is a bit short, in that I might've expanded on some of my ideas, but I'm very interested in hearing other people's opinion about this topic. My hope is that as a community we can expand on the concept of compassion and perhaps help each other to understand it more deeply and practice it selflessly. Finally, please hold off on discussing the other treasures in depth until those threads have been started, but don't feel like you can't talk about them, especially if it can add some insight into our own understanding of compassion. Aaron

A couple of weeks ago I ran into a young man who was homeless. I spent some time and talked with him and found out that he was on a disability and that there really was no reason for him to be homeless, essentially, because he was developmentally disabled and wasn't quite capable of finding a home for himself, he had fallen through the cracks. I offered to help the kid out, talk with his caseworkers and such, to try and find out whether there was anything I could do, but the kid, having spent a good portion of his life on the streets, found it hard to trust me, thinking there must be some reason why I wanted to help. He found it difficult to comprehend that I wanted to help simply because I felt sympathy for him and his situation. Two weeks passed and I saw him a few times, offered to help again, but he never really seemed interested. This morning he showed up on my doorstep, frantic and anxious, and asked me for help. I got cleaned up and walked with him to the local community center to talk with his case workers, While there I learned more about his situation and set about finding him a place to stay. It took me all of two hours to find him a permanent place to stay. I also talked with him about counseling and long term solutions to prevent him from ending up on the streets again. Two hours and I was able to help this kid out. I actually thought it might take weeks, but it didn't. The point is, I reached out and helped him without expecting anything in return. The reason I did this was because I am a Taoist and I think that's what Taoism teaches. So when I hear all this talk about compassion and say, "show me, don't tell me" it's not because I'm asking people to do something I'm not willing to do, but because it's imperative for us to be compassionate, before we can understand compassion. With that said, I'm not going to be responding to personal comments, just posting this here so people have the chance to see how compassion can benefit other people. All it takes is offering to help, selflessly. If you can do that you can change a person's life. You wont ease their suffering forever, but maybe you can help them out for just a day, a month, or until their next meal. Unless you're willing to help, it wont work. So for all those philosophical Taoists talking the talk, I ask this question, are you walking the walk? I know I had let that part of my practice falter and it wasn't until I got involved today that I saw how much of a difference it can make. (Oh and one of the case managers I was talking to offered to help me find work in the non-profit sector if I want it, so I got something out of it without even expecting to, that's Taoism at work.) Aaron

I've been suspended twice within the last few months, both occurrences were questionable in my opinion. In light of this, I've decided that I will retire from discussions on this board for the time being. In my first incident I called several members out for making antisemitic posts, one was recently suspended for doing this, the other, who made just as reprehensible and unfounded accusations has not had any action taken towards them, to the best of my knowledge. Many people were supportive of me and came to my defense. Many feel as I did that it was questionable at best, but that was the past and I made a concerted effort to refrain from any dialogue that might be construed as violating the ToS. In my last incident I made a reference to another member whom I had lived with without naming them, their address, or anything remotely close to identifying them as the person in question. They chose to participate in the conversation and reveal the post was about them. Afterwards I removed everything objectionable. I wasn't aware I had broken any rules, but when I did I apologized for doing so and did everything I was asked to do to make amends for the incident. I was led to believe everything was alright and I wasn't actually worried about being suspended, but then I logged on three days later and found out I was suspended. I never received a warning or notice that they were considering suspending from the board. In the logs another member was apparently repeatedly asked to stop revealing personal information and didn't stop until they were suspended. I actually went to great lengths to rectify the situation, even though I thought it unfair and was suspended anyways. After my suspension I attempted to email the site to ask the reason and also explain my case, but no one ever responded to me. The lack of response and loosely based suspensions is the primary reason why I feel there is an agenda to remove me from this board. I have enjoyed the years I've been here, but there is dark stain in the water and until those waters are still and the stain settles to the bed, I don't feel safe making comments or replying to other people's comments. I think it's only a matter of time before something else arises to give them a reason to ban me. With my suspension seeming inevitable, I see no point in continuing to post here. I will continue to post to my blog. I will also leave an email on my profile in case I am banned for this post, so people can still reach out to me. I will miss the conversations I've had on this forum. I learned a lot from you guys. I hope that life will find you well and that you reach the destination you seek. Remember, freedom is not a right, but a virtue that resides within you. Don't give up that freedom for the sake of laws and justice. Live as your heart tells you to. Aaron

Removed... I don't see the point in the pointless.

Well I decided to go ahead and start the second treasure, mainly because it's late and I'm wide awake, so no better time to get something done. The second treasure of course is frugality or perhaps a more apt word might be mindfulness. I have had people try to convince me that conservatism is a good word, but it always sounded a bit off, simply because I don't think it's about restraint so much as it is being aware of your needs versus your wants. That's really the gist of it in my opinion, and one of the reasons this wont be as lengthy a post as the one about compassion, simply because it is a very simple concept (hmm... simplicity might be another good adjective for the third treasure as well). Lao Tzu talks alot about restraint, but not necessarily restraint in the sense of self-control, so much as an awareness of your actions and moderating them in order to maintain a harmony with others. That is why I like the world mindfulness so much when talking about this treasure, because it calls into action much of what Lao Tzu says regarding the Sage. The Sage understands what is happening in the world around him and acts according to what is happening. One way he is able to do this is by minimizing his influence on others, for instance, the Sage does not teach through his words, but through his actions. He watches what he says and what he does. He is frugal, but this frugality is not simply out of greed, but out of a conscience awareness of how his actions impact those around him (or her). With that said, we can all probably do with a little mindfulness, certainly in our speech. Who here hasn't said something they've regretted later on for instance, but in the same way we can all probably do with a little mindfulness regarding our needs. How many times do we go in a store intending to get only what we need and end up coming out with a magazine and candy bar? Wants... insidious wants. So our major struggle regarding the second treasure, frugality, is in understanding what needs to be done and what doesn't. It doesn't necessarily mean we start living on a diet of white rice and water, but rather that we learn to understand exactly what we need and become content with that. If we go to friend's house and they offer us a slice of cheesecake, that doesn't mean we turn it down, just that we are mindful of what role the cheesecake plays in our life. This is also the one treasure most people have the hardest time wanting to do. Most people on some level want to be compassionate and want to stop competing with others, but very few want to stop eating potato chips while they're watching American Idol, or even more to the point, giving up American Idol. In the end we need to understand this relationship of needs and wants, not just from a physical viewpoint, but also an interpersonal and spiritual perspective. It is only when we can see the need for frugality in every aspect of our lives that we can honestly begin to bear the fruits of frugality. Now it's also important not to go in the opposite direction and become greedy or selfish, because it is easy to fall into that trap as well. This is perhaps the reason why Compassion is the first treasure, because it is through the guidance of compassion that we can begin to see exactly how our actions affect those around us and we can begin to see how frugality can help us in being compassionate to others. So to close, it's good to remember that we can never really be generous without first being frugal, because how can you be generous if you don't really know what you have to spare? Aaron

What exactly do you consider the eightfold path to be? Isn't it essentially saying fake it til you make it? I'm not sure why you're having such a hard time understanding this concept. Maybe you're just opposed to actual compassion as an act and would rather philosophize over it, because that is so much easier and you don't have to get your hands dirty. The next time your kids come to you for help or solace, tell them that you can't help them because it would require a sentient orientated response. I'm sure they'll understand. Aaron P.S. Read more Suzuki and less Jed McKenna. McKenna is really ego-driven, you hear it in the way he talks to others. I've watched a few more vids about him on Youtube and I kept thinking, this is 40 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

I really liked this... Maybe you want to take a crack at starting the second treasure, frugality? Or if someone else is up for it, they could. If no one starts one by tomorrow evening, I'll post the second treasure, but I'd really like to hear another person's take on it and go from there. Aaron

Compassion

Here is a talk by Alan Watts on Celibacy that is on youtube. Since this is such a widely debated topic, I thought it might be nice to see what one of the Western experts have to say about it. Here's his continued comments regarding the topic of sex... Aaron

good point... changing the name of the topic to masturbation and religion... Aaron

K I can't send you messages, can you message me? Aaron

Will do. This is a part of my life I'd rather have in the past anyways. I really don't want to deal with this crap. Aaron

There's no need to argue anymore! Aaron

edited the BS out (aint no big thang baby) and added the lyrics to one of my favorite songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXLwPUr5F1k No Need to Argue The Cranberries There's no need to argue anymore. I gave all I could, but it left me so sore. And the thing that makes me mad, Is the one thing that I had, I knew, I knew, I'd lose you. You'll always be special to me, Special to me, to me. And I remember all the things we once shared, Watching T.V. movies on the living room armchair. But they say it will work out fine. Was it all a waste of time. 'Cause I knew, I knew, I'd lose you. You'll always be special to me, Special to me, to me. Will I forget in time, ah, You said I was on your mind? There's no need to argue, No need to argue anymore. There's no need to argue anymore. Ouuu, ouuu, ouuuu... Special. Aaron

I'm bisexual. More attracted to men than women. I'm not into furry all that much. I used to be open about my sexuality, but I moved in with an elderly man and he made a point that he wouldn't let a "faggot" live with him because he didn't want the neighbors thinking he was one. He thought he was coy about it, but I knew that he was aware of my sexuality and was just playing some fucked up mind game, however I needed a place to stay so I stayed in the closet while I was there. Anyways, I'm pretty open about it now. <Edited because I wanted to be a pacifist!> Aaron

You're using semantics to justify finding humor in someone else's humiliation. I'm done arguing about this. Anyone can believe what they want, but you've failed to validate anything you've said. Essentially you're taking the stance that you can do whatever you want because you feel like it. Fine, but see how far that gets you in the real world. Aaron

:::Topic moved because it wasn't explicitly about a text, but rather a criticism of a forum decision.::: Aaron

Don Juan didn't exist and Carlos Castenada was a cult leader and fraud. Several weeks after he died one of his "harem" members died, presumably she committed suicide, but it may have been murder. When you learn how absolutely controlling he was, you realize he was nothing more than another Jim Jones in the making, except he wasn't as charismatic. If you're using his teachings to justify your behavior, then I would genuinely suggest finding something else to follow. It is common knowledge now that the vast majority of what he wrote about was fictitious and never really happened. I understand you might not be up on all the details, but when you get a chance read the wikipedia article on Carlos Castenada. As far as judgement, everything is judgement. Try to get through a day without making one. The ideal is not to make a judgement based on preconceived notions of morality, ideology, or religiosity, but rather on the effects your actions have on others. Ask yourself, how would this person feel knowing this picture was presented in this way? How would you feel if it was you or even your brother in the picture? Aaron

Castaneda was a cult leader and fraud. I can't take anything he has to say seriously. However I will post Chapter 27 of the Tao Te Ching which applies to what I am saying here... Good walking leaves no track behind it; Good speech leaves no mark to be picked at; Good calculation makes no use of counting-slips; Good shutting makes no use of bolt and bar, And yet nobody can undo it; Good tying makes no use of rope and knot, And yet nobody can untie it. Hence, the Sage is always good at saving men, And therefore nobody is abandoned; Always good at saving things, And therefore nothing is wasted. This is called "following the guidance of the Inner Light." Hence, good men are teachers of bad men, While bad men are the charge of good men. Not to revere one's teacher, Not to cherish one's charge, Is to be on the wrong road, however intelligent one may be. This is an essential tenet of the Tao. So when we look at these men we should cherish them as our charges and our teachers, for they are both. What would the Buddha have to say about this? Or even more importantly the Yogi masters? Do you think they would find these pictures to be as clever and humorous as others do? I think you are missing the important message in this, these men are suffering and there is no justification for taking pleasure in another's suffering. To turn the blame on them, is only a way of removing the blame you feel in this. These pictures are in poor taste according to every tradition I can think of. Aaron

I thought I might add one comment, which is that it is easy to see how his explanation of the Western Semitic tradition (Christian, Islam, and Jewish) of marriage and sexual idealism (totalitarianism) is almost identical to the Taoism, Buddhism, and some forms of Hinduism's views on sexuality, masturbation, and love. In the end perhaps it's time to ask exactly what the reason for this conscious dissociation from self stems from? Aaron

Oh I really liked that! You are what you think... nicely said. Aaron

Yeah... too many people want to put things in boxes and label them. Even worse is when you label yourself. In fact nothing is worse for limiting your potential than labeling yourself. This reminds me of the powers of "I don't know". When you say "I know" it immediately limits your potential to learn anything more about something, but saying "I don't know" opens up the possibilities in a myriad of ways... I know a bit disjointed, but I saw snow for the first time in over a decade, so I'm a bit giddy. Aaron