Aaron

If you're a Buddhist the idea of attachment is linked to suffering, but I think it's the opposite for a Taoist, in that the idea of attachment is linked to joy. Really it is up to you whether you want to focus on the suffering or the joy that arises from your attachment, but the one thing you should be rest assured of, is that there is no experience one can have, short of a lobotomy, that will allow them to be free of their attachments to this world. Physics and Taoism will tell you that you are an intricate part of this world, that there is no separation between it and you, except for the one you create in your mind. That doesn't mean that there isn't a distance between you and other things, just as there is space between the cells in your body, there is space between you and everything else, rather that you are a part of that emptiness, just as you are a part of the creation that exists within that emptiness. If I die today, I will cease to be, as I know who I am, but I will not die. I am immortal, I am the universe and everything within the universe. So long as the universe exists, so do I. Remember, just because we shed the dead cells from our skin, doesn't mean that we don't continue to exist, and just as we will die and be shed from the universe, that doesn't mean that the part of us that is the universe doesn't continue to exist. This is why I don't fear death, because I know that who I am is greater than the "I" I believe I am, that my connection runs deeper than my blood, flesh, and bones, it runs deeper than my thoughts and emotions, the "I" that I really am is encompassed within everything that exists, and until that time that everything ceases to exist, I will continue to live on. Aaron

First lets clarify what the Dark Night of the Soul actually means. The term comes from a poem by St. John of the Cross and is meant to illustrate a period of doubt many people have regarding religion, religious institutions, and God, one that in most cases results in a stronger and deeper religious conviction afterwards. What you're referring to isn't really the Dark Night of the Soul, but rather doubt that leads one to seek other religious conventions or ideology in order to satisfy their curiosity. Second, though it is important to understand one's own ego and emotions, one also must be careful, for the necessity of self-restraint is important. If one heedlessly gives in to their desires and emotions then they can become self-absorbed, caring more about their own well-being than the well-being of others. Morality aside, this can become harmful, because it will prevent the person from having healthy relationships with those around them. In the case of self discovery moderation is always an important thing to remember. With that said, I am all for exploring the depths of emotions, to understand the root from which they flow, but in doing so one must not get lost in that emotion, allow the emotion to become the driving force, rather than the heart. What most people fail to recognize is that emotional well being is important to our overall physical and psychological health. Emotional well being does not require a detachment from one's emotions, but rather that one moderate their emotions, so that they avoid extremes. Keep in mind that enlightenment doesn't necessarily mean one will naturally be able to moderate their emotions, in fact they may become very emotional for a period of time afterwards. This is interesting, in the sense that it indicates to me, not a loss of control, but a sort of giving in to the natural order, allowing one's self to experience the depths of who they are. In the quotes found in the original post one could easily misconstrue that they are advocating a type of hedonistic exploration of one's inner being, but that isn't necessarily so, rather they are advocating allowing yourself to feel those emotions you've shunted due to societies constraints, to understand the you that you hide from yourself. This doesn't necessarily entail abandoning reason and logic, but rather allowing yourself to examine your emotions honestly and thoroughly. Anyways, nice post, just wanted to clarify my own ideas regarding it. Aaron

I was reading the Ego and Humility thread over in the Tao Discussion section and I was really impressed with what Kevin said, about how we demonize the ego. This is mainly a product of religious values related to humility and it is, more often than not, misconceived and misconstrued by most people to mean that ego is harmful and should be diminished, but my question is why? The ego is just as much a part of who we are as our spirit and body. We do not say, diminish the spirit, diminish the body, no we say strengthen the spirit, strengthen the body, so why not strengthen the ego? Well the answer is that most people see a healthy ego as a bad thing, but in fact it isn't. The ego is essential for spiritual development, in fact without one we would not even pursue spiritual pursuits, for it is the ego that understands that there are more things in this universe than just you and I. In your pursuit of physical health, you should also pursue spiritual health and emotional health. The ego is the root of emotional health, so it important to become spiritually healthy, to understand the difference between needs and wants. The ego does want, but it also understands what it NEEDS. The ego is there to ensure that we are motivated to feed ourselves, to clothe ourselves, and to bathe ourselves. Without this motivation we would be hungry, naked, and filthy, three things that will inevitably lead us to sickness and poor health! I always encourage people to question why they believe what they believe. Who told you what to make you think the way you're thinking now? Who told you the ego was bad and why? Examine why they told you this and don't accept it as truth without knowing it is the truth. If you're overweight and unhealthy then you should get healthy and if you do this, then what does it matter what the motivation is? When I quit smoking, I did it because I couldn't get a full breath anymore. It was a very selfish reason, but a worthwhile reason. If I quit because I thought it was turnoff, then that would've been fine too. Too many people worry about the why, when they should be worrying about the how. Aaron

Irony... I said at the beginning of this thread that chapter four was one of the few chapters where it really didn't matter so much how different the translation is, yet here we are nitpicking over something that seems to have little to no significance in the meaning of the chapter. I guess we might be a bit full... of it. LOL.... couldn't help myself. Aaron

Howdy guys, Chris and Stosh, I'm happy that you found something you liked in what I wrote. Lucky7, I actually have given up my own will and turned it over to the care of the universe. When I do this I find that the amount of problems I have are minimal at best. The universe has a way of taking care of us, if we let it. I know that sounds new age-ish and all, but from my experience, it's the absolute truth. I think this is also what Lao Tzu alludes to in the Tao Te Ching, the idea of living, not for yourself, but for the universe, of being a servant to the universe and by being a servant, being able to benefit the universe. Anyways, I hope things are going well for everyone. Aaron

The question of free will always puzzles me. What does it really matter if we have free will or not? does it actually change who (or what) we are on a fundamental way or just how we view ourselves. I think the comment made about feeling like a hostage in regards to free will is apt for many people, they feel that without free will they are a prisoner to destiny, but that's not exactly true. As someone who has felt the immensity of the universe and my own connection to it and everything that exists, what I can tell you is that free will absolutely does not exist and yet it absolutely does exist. Let me explain why both exist as simply as possible. We are programmed to react and act according to what we are, human beings. We have drives and desires that are a result of this programming and it is required programming, otherwise we would not know what to do and what not to. People hate to be compared to computers, but in essence we are like computers, we are in fact what we want computers to be, beings that can learn and adapt to the situations around them, but herein lies the problem we have with making the perfect computer, in order to learn and adapt we must first have a working system that allows us to adapt. Awhile ago the notion of pain being beneficial was mentioned. It was a heated topic, with some saying it wasn't necessary and others saying it was, but what we know from examining people incapable of feeling pain is that they have a hard time living in this world. The absence of pain makes it impossible for them to know when they've pushed their bodies too far and almost invariably they suffer from this condition and find it difficult to live a healthy life or have a healthy body. If we truly had free will, then it seems like everyone could just choose whether or not to feel pain, but that's not how it is, rather we have been programmed with this ability, without our consent, in order to ensure that we can survive. The notion of no choice frightens us, as I've already mentioned, but what we sometimes fail to take into account is that the choice isn't actually an option, in other words the human race would not survive if we had the choice, in fact it would've probably died out before it even began. In the same way simple choices like being kind to another person or not, seem to be a sign of free will, but in actuality, even in this circumstance it is an illusion. Our connection to others, the way we interact with others is always preconceived dependent on how we have learned to respond to certain conditions. The option for free will is reduced every minute we are alive, because everything we experience dictates how we will respond to something in the future. In fact it is the notion of free will that must be dismissed if one is ever to fully understand Tao and the process of harmony, because harmony is not born of free will, but with giving up free will and accepting that certain actions are natural. It is when we try to buck our actual destined action that we bring disharmony to the world. It is going against the way things are meant to occur and trying to find another way, that brings disharmony in our lives. So this is the real gist of it, free will exists, but in exerting free will we are behaving contrary to how we are supposed to behave. When we deny what we have been created to be and decide to be something else, then we are denying the very nature of who we are. The idea of giving up free will and turning our will over to the care of something greater than ourselves seems like it is akin to slavery, but is it? We do not have free will in the sense that we can determine who and what we are, but we do have a limited form of free will when we determine the actions we take. However, how many of us are willing to sacrifice what we want to do, in order to do what is beneficial for others? The Tao Te Ching actually says that this is a requirement for those who would be the caretakers of the world. If we exert free will and put our own desires first, then we are going against the way of nature. Nature hasn't programmed us to be greedy, selfish, or self-absorbed. In fact it programmed us to do the opposite. Our original nature was one dependent on the primary virtues of compassion, self-restraint, and group harmony. The Tao Te Ching says that it was when we abandoned these virtues that we began to depend on morality, laws, and intellect. It is the failure to live according to how we have been designed to live that has caused us to suffer. It is our decision to exert free will that has allowed us to become what we are. So the options we have are to give up free will and trust in our original nature, allowing us to live in harmony with the universe again, or continue to live with the illusion of free will, causing more harm that will ultimately result in the demise of humanity. If anyone has any doubt about this, they need only look at the state of the world. Anyways, I could go on, but I think I'll stop there for now. After all I doubt many people read my posts these days, so no need to waste an inordinate amount of time on something that most likely few people will be interested in hearing anyways. Aaron

[Note if you're feeling physical symptoms that are causing you distress, you should seek out a doctor to rule out any actual illness or trauma. If the doctor is unable to find any actual illness or cause, then you can consider the following...] Sloppy Zhuang gave you some good advice, but also keep track of how long you spend masturbating. Remember most people don't take an hour to have an orgasm, so if you're extending your orgasm out for prolonged periods of time, or having multiple orgasms, then there's a good chance you may be exhausting yourself. Since you took a long break from masturbating, there's also the chance you're making up for lost time and overdoing it a bit. Before you get too concerned about the effects of masturbation, I would wait and see how you feel a few weeks down the line. The one thing I worry about is that you're still fixated on masturbation and you're hyper vigilant for any sign or symptom that might arise from it, so there is a chance that you're associating certain symptoms with your masturbation that might not have anything to do with it. Just something to keep in mind. I would recommend taking a break from this thread for a couple weeks, letting this all go, doing what feels right to you and not worrying so much about it. I've never met anyone who died from masturbating, nor anyone who got sick from it. Again less focus on the effects and more on just returning to living a life that you find satisfaction in. Aaron

Osho was so popular because he advocated hedonism. In practice his teachings aren't so dissimilar from Aliester Crowleys and both attracted upper class members of society for the same reasons. Osho owned over ninety rolls royces, he said that parents shouldn't raise their children, but rather the community should. If you want to see how this worked out read the book "My Life in Orange". The children that grew up in Orange or the Osho community were neglected and suffered from abuse. From all accounts his communes were run in a cult like fashion, where he was deemed to be without fault. There has been a recent resurgence of Osho interest because the corporate body that inherited his fortune has started to advertise on the internet. A few years ago most religious experts considered the Osho movement over, as in there were very few actual practitioners still around. My advice to anyone, don't allow yourself to be trapped like a fly in honey. Osho sounds good, but much of what he says has no practical application. I can't understand how most Taoists or Buddhists could hear that crap and actually consider it to be beneficial. It's just feeding the ego at the cost of the soul. Aaron

Before you can really have this conversation we need to decide what we mean by consciousness. Are we talking about quantum consciousness, the akashic records, or simply the fact that we know we exist. In the case of quantum consciousness and the akashic records, then they are eternal, and may have existed through the lives of many universes, in the case of our own consciousness, well that obviously ends when we die. Aaron

Mike I would ask yourself a few questions regarding your experience. First, is what you're experiencing kundalini? I think you would go a long way towards confirming this by being certain to rule out an actual physical conditions first (i.e. see a doctor.) Second if it is a kundalini experience why are you so dead set on avoiding it? I'm not a kundalini advocate by any means, but I do believe things happen for a reason and if you are actually experiencing the precursors of a kundalini awakening, then there is a reason for it and exploring it under the guidance of a teacher could be in your best interest. Finally, steer clear of drugs to deal with spiritual conditions, kundalini has nothing to do with your brain cells, it effects them, but to the best of my knowledge they don't effect it, so you may just end up exacerbating the problem. I would like to hear the complete symptoms you're experiencing if possible. If you're interested I might be able to help with hypnosis, or at least give you some advice on how to use it to help you with your condition. Aaron

I think the important thing is that you live your life in a way that causes you no harm. This doesn't necessarily mean a guiltless life, but you should have healthy guilt. If you were to say, sneak behind a bush and masturbate in the local park, then you should probably feel guilt, but if you're just masturbating in your bedroom (or the shower) then there shouldn't be any reason to feel guilty. Sex is a very natural part of who we are and the most unnatural thing we can do is deny it. I think for most people celibacy is very damaging psychologically. The naked truth is that there are very few men who actually are able to maintain celibacy for the long term, but with that said, some men are. The problem comes when we want to be one of those few men, but this is sort of like wanting to be double jointed, if we don't have that capacity we can never really be double jointed, even if we do become a bit more flexible. Should we feel guilty about this? Of course not, so what's the point in torturing ourselves over it. Each of us should know our own abilities and capacities and accept them. This doesn't mean that we can't test them and try to succeed, but in the same way, if we don't succeed we shouldn't beat ourselves up over it. I think your attitude is very healthy and I wish you luck in whatever you decide. As Taoiseasy said, you might come back to celibacy, but if you do, make sure it's for the right reason and that you're prepared for it. Never allow guilt to motivate your desire for celibacy. What they're finding in sexual addiction therapy is that celibacy can be more damaging than redirecting thoughts. Unlike alcoholism, the total abstinence of sex is nearly impossible for a sex addict, but with therapy and counseling they can reduce the urges and return to a fairly healthy sex life. I don't think you're a sex addict. You're just a misinformed young man who has believed the myth of the "good boy", not realizing you're already a good boy and that there's no reason to believe otherwise. We ALL think about sex, men and women, so you're not alone in that regard. My advice now is to live your life and enjoy your body. It's yours to enjoy and no one has the right to dictate when and how you should be able to enjoy it. Aaron

Thank you Adam! I appreciate your help. Aaron

So an interesting thing developed with the kid at work, I was walking over to talk with the guy he was working with, he walked up and I wasn't paying attention. Anyways, he called my name once or twice, I looked at him and he was holding a knife. I told him that what he was doing was considered assault with a deadly weapon and he started to complain that I couldn't take a joke, then said I had no witnesses because the guy I was talking to was a close friend of his. I told him it wasn't funny and if he did it again I'd call the cops. My gut feeling is that this kid is seriously imbalanced. I'm going to talk to my boss about it, but I don't know if I feel safe working with him anymore. I'm not to worried about being stabbed, really I'm pissed that he thought it was funny. Anyways that's all I have to say about that. Just venting. Aaron

I've heard that in the East it's commonplace for people to start to practice philosophy, such as Buddhism and Taoism after they've retired, so you're actually getting involved while you're still quite young. Don't let age deter you from anything. I don't care how old I am, it doesn't define what I can do. Do you what you want to do. Carpe Diam and all that. Aaron

Hey Sinasencer, It's Twinner, I changed my nick to my first name. I was thinking about what you said and what others have said and I wanted to offer one more piece of advice, don't assume you know everything, even everything about a specific situation. Go into each situation as if it was your first time. Remember back to when you were learning math, how at first the concept of adding and subtracting seemed difficult, but after you learned it, it all seemed to make sense? You knew everything there was to know about adding and subtracting, we all did, yet we still seem to make mistakes, and why is that? Because even though we know the basic process involved, we're not infallible. In the same way when you're dealing with people it's important to keep in mind that even though you think you know that person very well and that you have taken every variable into consideration, your calculations may not be as accurate as you think. You may have missed a number, not carried a zero, not realized that someone was worried about you, but not sure how to express it, you get the drift. My math teacher once told me that there's a point after you learn addition that your percentage of correct answers skyrockets, mainly because the child pays extra attention to what they're doing, but as they become more comfortable they tend to not pay that extra attention and start to make mistakes again. Perhaps what you need to do is approach this in the sense that you're learning a new form of communication and expression. Take the time to learn about the people that are upsetting you, why it's happening, but also why you might be upsetting them. Not so much by placing blame, but putting yourself in their shoes. Maybe while you're learning this new practice you'll be able to achieve that point of time where you wont make many mistakes, and you'll have the opportunity to mend fences if you choose to. When you have kids of your own you're going to look back on this and say, "oh, that's why my mom/dad did that." It all seems to click and make sense. The trick isn't to place blame, but to find answers. I'll make you this promise, if you work on this and find the solution that's right for you, I'll work on finding a solution that's right for me regarding my mother, rather than just running away and kidding myself that I don't care about her. I think in the end, whether what happens is good or bad, at least we've tried and we've had the opportunity for change. Scratch that, the truth is in everything that happens in our life change is all we really have. Aaron

Ahem... I'm not sure if you're attacking what I said or agreeing. I think if there is a God, he doesn't need me to defend him, nor do I believe you could define him as being one thing or another. I'm not sure where you get the idea that EVERYONE on this site hates God either. Overall I think you went off-topic to the nth degree and might be projecting your own bias on others. I've always believed each man (woman or child) should define God as they believe and that it's their right to believe in a God or not, but still it's always fun to see zealots who demand justice for an omnipotent being, because it makes you wonder, just how omnipotent is your God, if he needs someone else to fight his battles for him? Also, I hope for your sake he's not made in my image, because you certainly don't want to die and have to spend the rest of eternity with someone that looks like me. Lets hope God looks like Brad Pitt or Megan Fox, or at worst Jerry Seinfeld (at least he'd be a funny God then, perhaps he'd have a great standup routine). Now back on topic... lets take the religious rants over to the "Why I think you need to believe what I do and if you don't you're going to rot in hell" thread. Aaron

In z00se's defense, I think he was saying, "woman aren't willing to give up their jobs and allow men to do those jobs." I don't think meant it in the sexual sense of "do them." Otherwise I think you're spot on. Aaron edit- I was thinking it might be better to change the topic of this thread to "Finding a way to justify hitting women if they piss me(n) off"... I think that would give people a better understanding of the topic.

I hope you're a very big man in your perfect world, or at least know enough not to piss off those that are bigger than you, because what you're talking about is a world where people do whatever they want to. You're citing global politics as a rational for being bullies, which makes even less sense, in fact it should be pointing you in the other direction. I've said this before and I'll say it again, people like to read the Tao Teh Ching and discount the notion of virtue, they focus on the Tao, their way of viewing nature and assume that Lao Tzu was advocating doing what we feel is right, but he wasn't, simply because he knew that our feelings aren't always correct. Lao Tzu advocated virtue, Te. He said failing Tao we resort to virtue. Many people believe that he was advocating giving up virtue and morality, but that's not what he was saying, he was saying we should aspire to high virtue, which is founded upon the principles of the three jewels, compassion, frugality, and never striving to be first in the world. We should strive to practice compassion and self control (diminish our desires) in all of our actions. We should strive to do what we know is right, not strive to attain worldly goods. We should strive to live in harmony with each other. How can we achieve this in a world where everyone who feels slighted should feel that it's alright to respond violently? I certainly hope that you consider this when you review your own idea of social conditioning. There's a reason why mankind has deemed social niceties such as polite conversation to be essential to a man's ability to interact with other men, because this ability allows us to live in harmony with each other. You are making one big assumption, that this didn't evolve naturally, that the idea of polite and compassionate conversation isn't one of the high virtues we still hold that helps us to attain a understanding of Tao. As for being superior to those people that don't ascribe to this view, I'm not superior to anyone, but I'm positive the nerds and geeks, the meek and gentle, would much rather have me be in their house than one of those people. I don't think you've given this much thought, but I have. A few years ago I advocated giving up morality and low virtue, living according to a simple rule, do what's beneficial, I understood later on that doing what's beneficial is very subjective, so I changed it to do no harm to yourself or others. It doesn't matter what you do to me so much as it does what I do to you. If you are yelling at me and calling me names I have the option of walking away or allowing my feelings to get hurt and retaliating. If I'm allowing my feelings to be hurt, then how am I not diminishing my desires? How am I not allowing my ego to take precedence over the good of the world? Only he who is willing to sacrifice himself is worthy of being the guardian of this world, because only he will see the beauty that resides within the meek and gentle, only he will see that one man alone is not worth as much as the entire world. With that said, I'd recommend examining the reality of your beliefs, because in a world such as yours there would be little peace for any of us. After all there is always someone bigger than you. Aaron

I haven't talked to my mother in over three years. She asked me to call her and I never did. She was, and I'm certain still is, very abusive. There is no reason why you need to put up with that crap. Try to find someplace else to stay, or contact family services. Abuse is abuse, just don't go hitting her or harming yourself because of it. The people who can hurt us the most are the ones who we love the most. It's sad but true. Aaron

z00se, What did you want people to say in regards to this post? The OP says, "I feel like hitting some girl/woman" or possibly had hit some girl or woman, and we're supposed to say, "Oh, if she pissed you off then that's alright bro!" This isn't conditioning, it's f-ing common sense. Common sense says that there's no excuse for hitting someone else, especially someone smaller than you, unless they posed a threat to you. How can hurting your feelings pose a threat to you? You complain about no corporal punishment, but it seems like you believe it's alright to hit someone if they hurt your feelings. So in this light it's alright for every eight year old who's called a poo-poo head to hit the kid who's calling them that name? You need to stop believing that every aspect of society is conditioned, some are just common sense. We don't hit ANYONE simply because they called us a name, there has to be an actual threat of PHYSICAL violence. This isn't just the law, but the common consensus amongst modern educated men and women. Now if you really feel that way, there are numerous countries you can move to that feel the same way as you do, just look up "Oppressive social fascism" and you should find them. Aaron

The first thing and only thing you need to remember is that no one can make you do anything you don't want to do. The second thing is take responsibility for your actions. No matter what someone else does, unless they are physically threatening you, there is no justification for physical violence. If someone is causing you emotional pain to the degree that you want to become violent, then WALK AWAY. Don't try and talk it out, leave. If you are already that upset that you want to hurt someone, the chances that you'll be able to come to some kind of resolution that will cure the pain you're feeling is very slim, even an apology might not be enough. The important thing to remember is that you need to take responsibility for your part in these events. If this woman is making you that angry, what did you do to cause her to want to make you that angry? Figure that out and if the relationship is worth it to you, stop doing that. If it's not or you feel justified in your actions, then take whatever steps you need to take to ensure that neither of you continue to be harmed. In the end we can justify nearly anything we do, but that doesn't mean other people are going to agree with your justifications and in the case of violence towards women, in my opinion, nothing short of having your own life threatened justifies violence towards a woman. This isn't social conditioning but rather being aware that I am a man who is stronger than a woman and it's my responsibility to protect women, not harm them. I hope you find a way to resolve your problems, but til you do remember you can always walk away, but if you choose not to, you may not get that chance, you may instead find yourself in a small room with other men, many of whom don't look to kindly on this sort of thing. Aaron

It started because he wanted to spar with me and I told him no. It started with pushing and shoving, just goofing off, but escalated. He wanted to prove to me he was a Wing Chun master. At one point he demanded I practice pushing hands with him and I told him I wasn't interested. He tried to provoke me and I wouldn't be provoked. No one can make me do anything I don't want to do. The only reason I acted at all was because he was becoming more violent. I decided something needed to be done before it got out of hand and someone got hurt. I think the problem is he was taught martial arts but no discipline, so he believes in the old adage "might makes right". I didn't cause him any lasting harm, but maybe I got him thinking that he can't pick on other people because of their age, size, etc. I'm sure he thought because he was nineteen and I was forty-two that I was intimidated by him, but I wasn't. I tried very hard to bring it to an end peacefully, but he seemed to not want anything to do with that. Anyways life will go on, no matter what happened, so I'm not going to let this one incident dictate the course of the rest of my life, even though in every sense of the word it will. I still like to have the illusion of control over my life. Aaron

You're letting your emotions get the best of you. Walk away before you say something that you might regret in the long run. The problem most people have is that they have no trouble spouting their own brand of righteousness and truth, but when someone calls into question the veracity of that truth they prickle up. You don't know as much as you think you know. I would say you've probably been studying the Tao for a few years at most, most likely books like "The Tao of Pooh", "The Watercourse Way", etc. You've remembered those parts you liked and forgot the parts you didn't and created you own little ideal of Taoism. The problem is that you aren't talking about Taoism, but rather Stoshism. My suggestion is don't use terms like Tao or Taoism, rather talk about it in a generic sense and no one will call you on your BS, but rather just accept it as being your own personal philosophy. I would also suggest that you try finding other ways to push people's buttons. I'm not all that concerned what you think about what happened, rather I find your tactics of name calling a bit childish and a sign of someone with very limited emotional maturity. Aaron

It doesn't hurt that the only place they'll likely be able to recreate it is their own facility. I'm very skeptical that they found a higgs boson particle and a bit skeptical that one exists. It's very nice on paper, but perhaps the truth is we really can't understand the fundamental way the universe works? The Higgs Boson particle that's found is not the real Higgs Boson particle, or something like that. Aaron

zoose, Thanks for your response. I would say that there is no such thing as perfection. In reality things just are what they are. I try to stay away from absolutism. In my mind mistakes are never really mistakes, but rather opportunities to learn. Aaron