Aaron

Call Center Blues by Aaron How easy it is to get lost in the halls of this building. White washed with blue trim, the length is a long step taken backwards. And in the open spaces lay rows of cubicles. Steel and cardboard coated with tan fabric sewn to surfaces- a thousand monitors sit patiently waiting. This is the center of the earth, the well where buckets are drawn. There is only a soft hum of the computers, and the deep breath of the ghosts that dwell within the framework of a dream. Look out the window, that world is not yours, it exists only in fantasy. The trees are a commodity. The roads are vessels of production. The parking lot is filled with hearses, waiting to shuttle the dead to their homes.

I'm not disagreeing with you in the least in regards to the wretched state one can live in, I've seen the dry drunks hanging around the rooms. The only reason they're sober is the first step. Most are miserable angry people that have no desire to actually practice any level of spirituality, and lack the capacity to practice the steps. So I'm with you in regards to developing a spiritual practice, but my point is that I don't ultimately believe that the lack of spiritual practice is the cause of one going out, but rather that they want to drink. Yes, perhaps that desire may come as a result of their spiritual decline, but I also think that if one has a firm grasp of the 1st step, which is the MOST IMPORTANT step, then if all else fails they will still not drink, nine times out of ten. My recommendation is get the first step down to the point that there is no doubt in your mind, if you don't, then when things do get rough and you hit a patch where things go wrong and you're not practicing the other steps, you're much more likely to go back out. Aaron

A ghost pushed my father's hand into a saw, resulting in him loosing the tips of his fingers. I'm not making this up, it actually happened, which is why I say, approach with caution and let the professionals deal with these types of things. Spirits can do more than just burn your spiritual fingers, they can push you down the stairs and take on physical manifestations to harm you. In my opinion (and from my own experience with the spiritual world,) this is like telling someone who wants to learn to start a fire, that they need to douse the wood with kerosene first. Oh, have I mentioned my childhood friend who was using a ouija board to contact the spirit world and ended up insane. After twenty-five years she's still in a Psych Hospital. This crap isn't something to dabble in or try out of curiosity. Very bad advice in my opinion. Aaron

I think it is important to try and figure out what you want to learn. For instance learning without a teacher can take much longer and you may not actually learn the proper technique, even though you think it is. Another thing to consider is that if you are learning from an instructor you are going to have a very static understanding, rather than one that is born solely of personal experience. With energy practices I would never suggest that one study the advanced techniques without guidance, but for simple things, such as meditation, self reflection, and awareness, in an attempt to increase your own spirituality, then it is fine to just learn on your own, but even then it's nice to have a sounding board now and again, to make sure that what you're becoming aware of actually makes some sense. My own approach was very much devoid of teachers and resulted in many painful mistakes. I have said that no one needs a teacher to reach enlightenment and I believe that, but when one is delving into other topics, ones that can pose a risk to one's sanity and physical well being, such as qigong, kundalini, and trance/self-hypnosis I think it is very foolish to proceed without instruction and even then the instruction should be one and one and not from audio books or self-appointed gurus who spend five minutes with you then send you off on another exercise. That's my two cents at least. Aaron

Why am I not surprised by this? Aaron

Yeah the streets. I'm going to try and find some alternative, but the shelters here are either overcrowded or infested with bedbugs, so I'm probably going to steer clear. I've been clean and sober for awhile now, so I don't really want to hang around the element that involves in that either. I'm sure I can earn enough each day for eating. No worries, I'm a big boy, I'll make it, one way or the other. I have a mailing address now and my brother agreed to accept calls on my behalf. Anyways, thanks for the concern, Aaron

I would have to suggest that you do not go looking for ghosts or try to talk to spirits, both are incredibly dangerous. Leave this sort of thing to the monks and other professionals that are trained to deal with these types of entities compassionately, in the end you may be causing more harm than good out of your curiosity, not only to yourself, but to the spirit as well. Also keep in mind that my own personal belief is that the ghost box or spirit box is a load of horse pooey, simply because the way it works is that it uses RF frequencies to contact spirits, however, it does this by randomly scanning through those frequencies until it finds a "message". Now even the spirit/ghost hunters are aware that much of what they receive (I would say all) is actually just random ambient noises, that have nothing at all to do with spirits. It is nice if you have someone gullible around that will fall for it. Hmm... now where did I put my RF Transmitter? Bob you go take that spirit box into the client's home, I'll take care of the "spirit talking". See what I mean? Aaron

If Josama wants to practice metta slogans, that's fine, but I would ask that he refrain from any type of energy practice, other than the one I've recommended until his emotional well being is once again sound. Aaron

I think he could've gotten hooked because Vicodin is incredibly physically and psychologically addictive, and because he had a (I presume) previous problem with substances that left him with a higher susceptibility to addiction. I'm just trying to make a point. In my experience, I've seen people that have maintained sobriety for years simply by praying and doing the steps, never meditating. I'm not saying one shouldn't meditate, but again, in my experience their is a strong connection between the first step and maintaining sobriety. So long as you remember you are powerless, then you are more open to accepting a higher power/path to aid you in removing the desire to take a substance for such a purpose. Aaron

The sparrows depart, before the snow starts to fall, it is cold and quiet.

Hello Josama, First the attempt at suicide tends to lead me to believe that your depression goes much more deeply than just your perceived loss of energy, I will explain why I say perceived later, you can make your own decision in that regard. Second, I've been practicing hypnosis for the last two decades and have done more than a hundred past life regressions, I have also led group meditation/hypnosis focus groups for recovering addicts and alcoholics. I am well aware that hypnosis can help one with understanding the energy within them, but the use of hypnosis in the fashion that you have is something I would never recommend. Something like this should always be guided, the idea that someone would do this on an audio tape is incredibly irresponsible and I'm sure he's just waiting for a lawsuit to happen. Third, nothing you've done is irreversible, in fact if you are still viewing your unconscious eye/third eye as being "out of whack" then it is something you are perceiving incorrectly. I will make my suggestions as follows and you can decide what you wish to do. Keep in mind this will be something that you will need to do for awhile, you can't simply do it once and expect it to fix everything, but I'm sure after the first session you will see improvements. As you have already become familiar with the technique that requires you to tense up your muscles and then relax them, starting from your toes on up, I will have to ask that you not use it anymore, since the use of these muscles has already developed a memory that may hinder you in the future, If you wish to pursue self-hypnosis as a means of spiritual growth I can recommend another basic induction that should be just as useful for you. Lastly, I would not presume to give you a self-hypnosis induction as a means of solving this problem because of the previous trauma you've suffered practicing it. What I can suggest is that you may want to begin visualization practices that involve focusing on your energy (not your eye, that will heal on its own) and drawing that energy back into you. The easiest way to do this is to sit upright in a chair in a slightly darkened room, close your eyes and take several quick deep breaths and calm your mind as much as you can. After you have done this ten times, begin to breathe in slowly and breathe out slowly, paying attention to when your lungs are full and your breath catches. When you have calmed your mind to the point that you have minimum distraction begin to look past your eyelids until you can see your energy surrounding you. (Yes your energy is surrounding you, it hasn't left you, despite what you might be led to believe.) Breathe in your energy through your nose if you can, if you have sinus problems, then your mouth is fine, do this slowly, with evenly timed breathes, breathe it in until you feel your lungs catch, then let your breath out again slowly. When you breathe out, let all of your anxiety and sadness out with it. Continue doing this for twenty minutes, no longer, twice a day. Keep in mind the primary goals here are to clear your mind of distraction so you can more easily see your energy, to focus so that you can see this energy, and to reclaim it and let out the negative energy within. Also your third eye will heal itself. When you wake up in the morning, before you take a drink, before you eat, Before you go to the bathroom, and before you fall asleep at night I want you to say, "my third eye will always heal of its own accord." So long as you continue to believe it is somehow irreparable, then you will find it that much more difficult for it to heal on its own. If you can, say this all in your native language. Also, stop listening to those tapes and throw them out. Don't attempt to learn energy transmission through correspondence or self-help, seek out a trained master that can help you with this. If you have any questions please feel free to ask, but I am positive if you are diligent that you will have reclaimed your lost energy and healed your third eye within the week, two at the most. It's happened to others before, so you're not the first, and you wont be the last. Don't look at it as the end of the world, you are just confused because you've experienced something and haven't had anyone there to explain what's actually going on. Don't stop going to any psychological counseling you're going to and if you've been prescribed medication don't stop that without consulting with your physician before hand. This ins't meant to take the place of counseling or medical treatment. I wish you well, Aaron Edit- I've also noticed people recommending you try to open your heart chakra, don't. You need to stay focused on the task at hand, nothing else right now. When you have begun to feel emotionally stable then you can pursue those practices, for right now, please just do as I have recommended above.

This topic has been on my mind lately. I was going to give my opinion, but I'd rather hear other people's solutions... also does anyone think the Gate's conspiracy regarding vaccines and sterilization might not be as inhumane as it appears, given the potential for another mass extinction? Aaron

Oh Wow... Trolling... does anyone else notice. Not enough conflict in the Global Revolution thread for you Vortex? Anyways, I'm not taking the bait, hopefully others wont either. Lets try and keep the bickering to one thread, rather than spread it over many. Aaron

I got my passport yesterday. I tried to get my Federal Background Check done as well, but the woman at the Police station gave me the wrong information, I went to verify, came back and she closed the office down. I waited nearly two hours, but they didn't open back up, so I'm going to have to try and find a way to get that done on Monday. The only other thing I need to get ready to go teach is my medical records. I can't see how they would require my full medical records, so I'm thinking they need something to verify I'm healthy enough to perform the job. I'm still checking into that. Anyways, today is the last day I have to pay rent, so my three day notice should appear tomorrow, then I have til Wed to vacate and start my amazingly super fun trip on the streets. Good thing it's cold and miserable, wouldn't want to start this kind of thing while it was warm and pleasant. Ahh... life has a way of throwing crap at you. Aaron

I'm reticent to give you advice, until I understand more about what is going on. I wonder if you could describe the hypnosis technique you used, in particular the induction. It seems to me that you have become unnaturally focused on something to the point of obsession and that may be something you need to deal with. My suggestion is deal with your depression first, then begin to worry about your energy problems. (I think so long as you are depressed, to the extent you are, that you will not be able to get a clear grasp of your energy problems, nor the extent of them.) I hope you feel better soon. I've been there and done that, so don't feel you're alone, just try and work on one thing at a time. Aaron

Hello owledge, This is a common experience. I've experienced similar things before, it most often occurs while someone is falling asleep, when there can be confusion regarding whether one is awake or asleep. You obviously experienced that confusion. One method of inducing dream yoga is actually to try to fall asleep while maintaining conscious awareness, the transition results often in one finding themselves within their dream, knowing that they are dreaming. My own tribulations with lucid dreaming is that, even though I know that I'm dreaming, I still can't control the dream world, as in change the landscape and such, but then again, it's more fun when you don't know what's going to happen, isn't it? Long story short, nothing to worry about. If you're practicing dream yoga, then just consider this a step towards improving your awareness of your dream state. Aaron

People don't go out because they aren't working the eleventh step, they go out because they want to drink. So long as a person remembers the first step, they will not drink, their life may go to hell, but they will remain sober. The rest of the steps aren't so much about maintaining sobriety, but clearing the wreckage of the past so one can begin to live a life without all the clutter that has been acquired from drinking. So why did this person who was 25 years sober go back out, well some say it's because they stopped going to meetings, others said it was because they lost conscious contact with their higher power, but the truth is that a higher power only removes the desire the drink, before that desire can be removed we must still understand we are powerless over alcohol. The real reason people drink again is because they convince themselves that they can drink again, that they are not powerless. Yes this may come as a result of working one's self backwards through the steps, but I've also seen people who have attended meetings daily for decades come in and tell others they started to drink again, simply because they thought it would be enjoyable again. So long as you enjoy it or think you might enjoy it, there's nothing your higher power can do for you, until you realize once again the truth about your drinking. The good thing about attending meetings every now and again is that it reminds me just how bad things can get. I don't go to meetings because I need them to be sober, I've gone over a year without meetings and maintained my sobriety without any desire to drink, rather I go as a reminder of the past, when I need one. Aaron

Actually I don't know what you mean. I have had many of the things that you've mentioned happen to me, but I have never felt the need to learn martial arts to protect myself. If you do that's fine, but for me learning about Taoism and Buddhism isn't about learning to defend myself, but rather learning to treat each and every person I meet with compassion. I have met many people who wanted to be masters, they desired it and went out of their way to find students. They tried very hard to control those students as a means of feeding their own ego. What I have learned is that the true masters do not need to seek out students, their students come to them. They do not take care of their students needs, but rather teach their students to care for themselves. You have set a strange precedent, in that you will pay all this money, teach this person everything you have learned, and yet you seek nothing in exchange. I wonder what happens when the student differs in your opinion. Let me put this bluntly, for the sake of compassion, you are not a master, nor are you behaving as a master, if you were you would know all this already. Be quiet and listen and perhaps those you see as impostors may show themselves in their true form. By the way I'm not a master, unless you consider living life each day, breathing in the air and accepting my life for what it is, understanding the nature of the world, that within it there is neither beauty or ugliness, but rather what we choose to see, as some form of mastery, if so then I would be happy to teach you, if you wish to learn. Aaron

I still have a few days left. I am a bit disappointed that the cost of a passport seems to have gone up, but that's how it is. I also need to have a federal background check done and that's a bit expensive too, but I plan on applying for my passport and getting my background check done by the end of this week. I have told my brother to look for a room for rent and he is. That's one worry off my mind, much of why I stuck around as long as I have was because of my worry for him. In a way this is an oppurtunity for me, because it allows me the chance to do what I've wanted to do for awhile, teach. If everything works out, I might even be able to get a job overseas before the start of the new year. I will stop by when I have the time, but I am trying to get things organized, so I need to manage my time wisely and the forum right now is not my top priority. I still wish everyone well. Aaron

I am nothing. I am not a Buddhist. I am not a Christian. I am not white, nor am I brown. I am not American, nor am I Chinese. I am not a honorable man, nor am I a sinner. I am not a man that sees, nor am I man that is blind. I am nothing and because I am nothing I am able to be everything. Aaron

I guess I'll end this discussion with this... I bow out of this debate. It solves nothing, it's all conjecture. Nothing we do here will matter, so I think it's best not to waste any more energy. Aaron

------------ Close your eyes, sit quietly for a minute, breathe naturally. Visualize a forest. Visualize a path you're walking that leads you into the forest. You are walking on a path in the forest... Keep walking... You keep walking and you come across a cup in your path. What kind of a cup is it? Describe the cup, describe your feelings, describe your actions. It's a clay cup filled with water. No feelings. I leave it alone. Keep walking... You keep walking and you come across a key in your path. What kind of a key is it? Describe the key, describe your feelings, describe your actions. It's an old black key with two notches at the bottom and three round circles at the handle. Nervous. I leave the key alone. Keep walking... You keep walking and you come across a lake in your path. What kind of a lake is it? Describe the lake, describe your feelings, describe your actions. It's a small lake surrounded by tall pine trees, the sun is sparkling on it's surface. I feel calm and peaceful. I just watch the water and enjoy the peace and quiet. Keep walking... You keep walking and you come across a house in your path. What kind of a house is it? Describe the house, describe your feelings, describe your actions. It's a two story house sitting on the side of a hill. It's painted white with black trim. It makes me feel sad. I just look at it for awhile, but again it's a sad house, so I don't want to pay much attention to it. Keep walking... You keep walking and you come across a wall in your path. The wall is completely impenetrable, there's no openings. There's no way to walk around it because it is too long, there's no way to climb over it because it is too high. What kind of a wall is it? Describe the wall, describe your feelings, describe your actions. The wall is made of logs twined together, at the top the logs have been sharpened to points. It makes me feel worried. I leave the wall alone. The test ends here. Please write down everything you have experienced. ---------- There you go.

You do know this is one of the very first induction techniques you learn in hypnosis? It's been modified a bit, but it's been used for decades to help therapists discern the psychological well being of their patients. I wasn't under the impression it was used as a personality test though. In light of it being written down, it may be hard to get honest answers, because part of it requires that one be in a state of suggestibility so that their inhibitions aren't as evident, then a person is more apt to answer as their subconscious and conscious minds would conclude. Anyways, it's still interesting and thanks for taking the time to post it. When I have some time I'll try and take the test and write down my answers. Aaron Note- I learned this induction around 18 years ago when I was in college.

Hello TJL, Anarchism is a clear and practical model for world change. Millions of people think so. There are anarchy parties in several countries, they amount to ultra-liberalists, but still they're there. You just disagree with the model, that's all. You are still stuck in the paradigm that there needs to be some universal government in order to restore harmony and balance to the world, but Lao Tzu himself said that a perfect kingdom was like a small town, where one side didn't know what the other side was doing. In other words Lao Tzu was an anarchist. Now if you think he's outdated in his thinking, that's fine, but I believe what he had to say and it is one of the reasons I've been an Anarchist for the last twenty years. I can understand how you might see a group overseeing that this is possible may seem to be a government, but I would beg to differ, it would just be a group that's motivation was to allow each society to exist as they see fit. The problem with a global model is simply that people will never be able to agree with everything, whether it's cultural, religious, or moral values, there will always be conflict so long as we continue to feel the need to push our own agendas on others. I would never even push this agenda on people, rather I have the hope that others may see the wisdom in it some day and decide to participate on their own accord. I think when we get tired of all the war, poverty, and suffering that comes from large governments fighting each other, that someday people will wake up and realize Lao Tzu's dream, unfortunately it will probably be at the tail end of coming apocalypse, either global, natural, or man made before it is realized. I have no faith in democracy, capitalism, socialism, communism, or any other model of government that's been created, simply because they are divisive, they don't work for the people, but rather for those in power. It would require that every nation on the world become selfless and self sacrificing for anything remotely close to what you're proposing to occur, and sadly that wont happen in the current state of humanity, nor would it have happened 12,000 years ago. We need something revolutionary and new to bring about change, something that enables every person on the face of the earth to live free and to their heart's content. That's all I'm saying. Practical, no, possible, yes, but it will only come when we've suffered enough to accept it as the only solution. If you guys want to continue to debate on how to solve the world's economic systems, that's fine, but to me it's like saying, how can we slow down the process of terminal cancer. Aaron edit- And when you started to define what I was saying, that's what I meant by "putting words in my mouth." I listened to what you had to say and also Joe. Your ideas are much more compassionate, and I applaud you for that, but they wont be realized simply for the reasons I've stated above. It would require the entire world to cooperate and right now we can't even get two free world countries to cooperate, how could we expect the whole globe to?