Rocky Lionmouth

Theres a really good book called "The Shining Girls" by Aaronovich(?), seriously scary thriller, urban fantasy type stuff.

Good question! I'd say i'm saying the other way around, there is no need to fix the world to be content and happy. Many seem to be able to do just fine. I'm not saying i know a way to fix it either, heheh that would be trying to hit the moon with a slingshot, awkward and the fallout is potentially hurtful I'm not even sure that we can be content and happy, but we might be able to be content enough and happy enough. Guilt stays in our head as unacceptable wether or not its ours or OPP. Dont get me wrong, we ought to fix the world. Maybe if humanity was more content and happy the world would be fixable? Guilt is(?) constructed, it's relevance is relative to inocence, vindictiveness, greed, betrayal and the whole thing tends to go very abstract quickly, as well as taking a shape of a catch-all we feel uneasy about with our interactions with people. Or maybe guilt is a clever word to describe a state where empathy trumps selfishness? Its hard to say, i get lost in context and detail roundabout 95% of the time. It's the attachment to innocence that bugs me. Maybe projecting but innocence often seems valued by a destructive lust as well as possessivity... Welcome to the yarn-mess that is my mind.

Throwing an attempt out there, i'm tired and on a residual runners high here I wonder where the concept of guilt comes from? What factors make it relevant and what sustains guilt? Who is guilt for? Being the actor of a certain deed in a delineated situation, is that being guilty? Is it being responsable to admit guilt? It could differ from situation to situation as well right? The whole innocence-thing just rubs me wrong. It sounds attractive to me as a romanticisation of someone who isnt very good at surviving. Imo, or imco (c is for current), its like claiming that having freedoms means you're Free. There is no freedom, not in That Sense, just a larger range of options available in various situations. Isn't innocence another chimera if no one is really guilty? Whats innocence if there isnt a whole set of qualities that is fulfilled by it? Is there such a thing as not being guilty in a world where the standard implements of telecommunication are manufactured as cheaply as possible in a part of the economy where exploit of labor (and labor itself) is oppressive speculation and the materials they contain do horrible damage while being produced and harvested? One cluld argue innocence is naivite, maybe even vanity-wolf in innocent lamb-clothes. Willfully denying attachment to a dirty and complex world? Are innocent people blind or ignorant not to see their place in this mess? Or would we even be in this mess if all were to be as if innocent? Would there be a whole other mess?

Let me try: The sky and the earth treats everyone similarly, good or bad as they are. They give us nourishment, sunlight, night, rain, wind, produce, a place for burial, materials for living. They never harm intentionally and earthquakes and flood rains pass. Our lives pass, one way or another we are offerings for the continuing. Skies follow the tao, the earth follow the skies and humans live from the earths boon and borrowed warmth and shelter. I'm with dawei and Wu Ming Jen, sky and earth have their own way and power, they bear no ill will to their victims and their proteges. People act selfish to do good and bad to each other, barter, betray, lie, murder, help, heal, seek profit and advancement. If you give importance to virtue as valuable, seek it for merit, then your virtue is lacking. There is intent to destroy and create, harm is done with intent. The sage follows the sky, he gives freely and respects the straw dog for as long as It exsists, respects its offering and those that benefit from it. The sage would never mistreat a straw dog nor interfere with its nature.

Hark! Awaken! Dive and emerge from sinister pasture; an owl, his eyes glistening Red hair flurries and hissing voice in the dark, spear a-shaken! Cut air like lightning, thunders own teeth Who could match such meter on the cousin of sleep? This vagrant had best nap lest he, forever loose his dreams.

It's you and Nasty Nas of Queensbridge, you're in good company. ... It drops deep, as it does in my breath Plus i never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death, Beyond the walls of intelligence life is defined ...

Thanks, thats a keeper!

I hear what you're saying TM, but in a way i think shortcuts are one our best discoveries. Allow me a flight of thought When people havent gone the "long way 'round" is its pointless to try and look for a shortcut. How can you make a journey more effective if you dont know the destination, area or even have an half decent map? Experience tells me it'll end up being walking in a long circle while being under the impression of traveling straight Shortcuts are the maps. What we teach the next generation, informing them on their long route and when they pass their maps on they will have condensed their journey to a shortcut for their heirs, who will travel using it as reference and by it blaze the trails of their long route. I'm not saying any of the journeys are progressively becoming shorter or more efficient generation after generation, but when somebody shows us the way and it's pitfalls that is as close to a shortcut we get. If they werent we'd end up reinventing the toothbrush twice daily as a minimum. People who arent willing to accept the offered shortcut and instead wish to skip the necessary bits to will a certain result into existence are bound to invent a new way, a new map and quite possibly never reach their invented (and non-existing?) destination, traveling in circles over and over. I feel this might be just arguing semantics... but i agree: screw the circus. It's all a very large spectacle or simulacra designed to provide an overwhelming, non-participatory experience to distract us from the fact that our bones, breath and blood are the fuel in that large machine. Human beings are the oldest currency in the world. I hope that in the end i'll have spent myself to my own advantage as well rather than only someone elses.

*cymbal-hit!*

You have no idea how much i needed to read that, thank you. Shame could be, at least in part, an elixir of accelerated aging and a damper of development.

And i forgot, this is more of my "general advice" but try it if you like Heat is my sleep-enemy no. 2 (agitation and anxiety is no. 1) Set your ambient temperature a little lower or crack a window for some fresh night air. No hot food (as in spicy) late in the evening. Dont do fast things or rush to fix something unless its necessary. Have a glass of wine with dinner if you do alcohol (spikes heat and after a couple of hours you cool down again but the relaxation usually stays). Alcohol can on the other hand be a strong stimulant and in larger doses than one unit it affects sleep negatively. Before bedtime i recommend to cool off with cold drinks (iced water is my favourite), open your pores and let the heat out with for example a nice shower and a loofah-scrub, air-dry if possible so you pores dont close up again so quickly. A rouch piece of cloth to rub your back and neck, not too brisk or energetic but gently so you get a nice tingling sensation.

+1 Reverse psychology and screentime in bed are awesome also, i read right up until my eyes fall closed, it my cozy-ritual nr 1. The fidgeting and irritation spikes for me too, screens and books and comics help. Ideas get written down in detail (places them outside of my head). When i was talking about catching the train of sleep i meant that if you're just going to toss and turn wide awake in bed in a dark room all that does is associate the emotional state to the physical sensation of being in bed in a dark room. Its better to spend that time playing a video game, reading, drawing, listening to something with your light on and perhaps in an easy-chair or couch. When you're starting to feel good again let it build a little and try lying down again. If the unease/thoughts/ideas/restlessness picks up, leave bed and do some more "out of bed relaxation". And dont be afraid to give up. Making it a conscious desicion to use the time instead of being trapped by the constrictions of insomnia. It's symbolic and feels useless in the beginning. First times i heard this advice i wanted to punch the advicers nose just enough to cause discomfort because "how the hell is this going to help me get my necessary hours to perform my duties well enough? I only have so many hours to spare!" I doesnt, but it eases the discomfort in the moment and it cumulative over time i think. But if you get ideas in bed, sketch them down, figure out a couple of solutions for details. You've got the energy there and then, might as well right?

I lol'ed at this point

Aetherous points to the moon, an offline friend adviced me similarly and it's not done the trick completely but i've seen improvement! Another this is: pay attention to your circadian rythm, what times does the "trsin leave the station?" This is more to also have an easier time to recognize when last train left. Next one is in 1.5-2 hours right? Use the frustration to do something creative. Mrs Lionmouth and I were discussing the recent "humans have always slept 8 hours a night"-myth and found out that back in the oldschool argicultural days pelple had first and second sleep. First was from mid-evening to the small hours when people would wake up to do their creative things or prayer or had sex with their partner or something. Then back to bed, sleep another four hours and get up to deal with the everyday farm chores and stuff. Blew my mind a bit

Tides is a good frame Luke!l My teacher and brother and i were just recently discussing allowing oneself to have days when it seems when you're not doing anything that shows you've worked. Work is happening at those times also, it's just in a different gear. Those days are necessary for the continuation of your work. But it's frustrating because the familiar feeling of guilt or frustration that "a whole day has passed and what have i to show for it?!" (I mean work as in not your regular 9-5, 5-9 job, but in the context of creative work or spiritual or practice etc, if you know what i mean?) Definetly. Many times returning after a yin cycle i even feel i've made progress while not practicing, as if improving a technique (at my job or with the other work) just needed a little time to marinate. Relaxation comes back easier, noticing error and room for improvement more clearly.

I've been having difficulty falling asleep during long stretches for as far back as i can remember. I get meds for that. Melatonin and some "fall asleep" prescription pill. If i dont i'll easily be awake until 6-7 in the morning. Exercise, setting a time for when you call it a day and stop doing stuff is useful, and also honoring the "unwinding phase" before bedtime. None of these work like a charm but if i manage to knock myself out before 23-00 a few days in a row it builds some kind of momentum... but yeah, if i need to fall asleep and get up at a certain time its pills or bust.

I'm consistent with 6 days out 7 working by a kind of "do one routine all the way at least", but intermittently. My vice is do-it-right-or-dont-bother so if a day, week or month doesnt leave time or if i'm feeling unwell, i stop for a bit. Hard work, solid rest and no fear of downtime. I rationalize by thinking that i've stayed with the same teaching and style for ten years and plan to keep it up to my dying days, a little rest now and then is probably just good for me.

*drumroll*

Found this https://philosophynow.org/issues/27/Death_in_Classical_Daoist_Thought Some of you will find it far too basic and i didn't have very high hopes at first. Damned if i didn't find it useful. It rang bells both old and new. I never really got a good picture of what the story of ZZs behavior after his wife passed pointed to, the author of the above framed it nicely and i wanted to share this in case someone else might find it useful. It nails a few things good enough. Actually it kinda nails a lot of stuff, with both clarity and economy of words. Spoiler alert and trigger warning: The article contains no neidan instructions and it is now time to read comics while listening to my wife and cat snore a cute duet. G'night Bums!

Hey, in my experience there just might be something wonderful just waiting for you to find your way there locally, but then i assume you're in a fairly urban environment for some reason so what do i know But i'm serious, check and ask around locally. A bonafide FWC master perhaps isn't someone all that easily stumbled across, but plenty southern CMA got "juice" and they're scattered all about the globe. I recommend animal styles and traditional weapons - they promote health, are fun and transformative and if the tradition is alive they're useful.

I saw a few demo/interviews with FWC lineage keeper and he certainly seemed on point with the applications. Give the time, dedication and knowledge it requires i'm pretty sure it's damn effective even on beginner-intermediate level, but that depends on who you're looking to pummel right

That is way cool! I need to check out karate a little deeper! The Feldenkrais thing as well, it been buzzing in the back of my head and getting my ears perked every time. Had no idea they closed the door on qi. But seriously, if i didnt practice kung fu the way i have the luck to do it i'd probably sing a different tune If somatic training is what i think it is then i'm probably agreeing with you. Bones do matter a lot and what you wrote sounds very tai chi to me. Mmm, yes. Tried sparring with a kyokushin karateka many many years ago, i'm not doing that again, rock solid and the approach was pretty scary. Shotokan has "swallow and spit"? it's pretty though stuff but getting good at it produces incredible results. I think advanced tai chi practicioners could be knowledgeable in it but they'd have to be with someone who teaches the real inner door stuff. I think it could be iron hands yes, could also be that any block is an opportunity to use seizing and locking followups but it sounds more like iron hand. Most of the time we do punch block drills hands and forearms usualy start to throb pretty quickly, great way to scare off new students who just wont accept that it's always going to hurt if you do it full force and just started I've heard the maxim that says "hit whatever is offered and make sure it hurts", so if someones guard is up their hands are a viable target and a nice hard knock to the metacarpals is no joke painwise.

Now this is really something! You cook pretty delicious food Bear! If you dont mind i have a question that might seem weird: I do something that is very very close to the ming gong you describe when i cant sleep. Is that even possible? Like tonight: falling asleep was very difficult so when i felt it was too late (three hours of sleep in one night is more like salting the wound for me) i took a position i have learned as a lying down qigong exercise and just "rested" for two hours more or less, mind quieted soon and even though i was just about awake enough to notice i wasnt asleep i stayed almost completely immobile. Breathing was almost imperceptible, no real effort was put in this immobility. Used a small trick of thinking of something very pleasant and complicated to bridge into a resting heart rythm at first, but when stillness came it just stayed without struggle.. When i came out of my "rest" i noticed i had some time before my alarm goes off, went to the loo and decided to see what my fellow bums had been up to tonight, found this immediately so i thought i'd chime in a question. I dont know if you think this even remotely related with what you describe in your post SBHHE but when i read it i felt it described the state i was in until just a few minutes ago with an almost eerie accuracy

I've got a feeling you're looking down the right path, devil is both in the details and overall theory simultaneously. I hear I King is a terrific place to start, a lot of "stuff" seems to spring from it. It has kicked my ass repeatedly as far as understanding what the trigrams and hexagrams represent so i'm only an expert at not grasping it I understand your concern about teachers, but you might want to consider trying to find one or more living sources to reference and ask for guidance. Maybe you wont find an illustrious and famous author but perhaps your local area might surprise you? "It's all there" people say, but you gotta know how to read it. It doesnt seem to be hermetically sealed but a teacher could give you a jump start on the first few years of just sorting out interpretations needed to even practice fundamentals properly. The books might agree in principle but differ in how their system is organized. How do they work together? Can they?