jenn992

Hi and thanks for all your replies...they have been really helpful and the practices that are taught by some of these religions such as taoism (which I dont know much about yet) seem very good... it is difficult to assess someones situation or anyones especially one that seems so complex... cause and effect are true though my situation seems to be more cause and affect that feel out of my control...my lifestyle is such that im a religious person, a virgin....i dont involve myself in anything..i have no friends...no life literally....i get on the internet or go to work if i do...but evil finds its way into my life to try to destroy me in various forms...my ex 'boyfriend' was 58 years old and a deranged person..or sick human being..he was into every sick thing possible and wanted me to do it but never forced me just brainwashed me--but he used me more on the side as a long distance puppet/object he could mentally torture and his abuse was very sadistic and he rarely saw me in person..he treated me like i was his 'whore/puppet' on the side who he could control..mentally torment, abuse, degrade..it was very sick. IF he did see me it was very controlled...I had to be there at this time and was there on a time limit, had to dress a certain way, wear make up, then i would get kicked out after 2-3 hours or less..he had me wanting to see him, begging..so he could constantly reject/refuse me.make me suffer..and took it to sadistic extremes..his abuse was really terrible and when he did see me he was even more abusive..and he was a sociopath liar, sick evil cruel person..he was just out to make my life hell, destroy me, ruin me corrupt..and refused to have sex with me b/c that wud be pleasure for me and he had no desire to give me any pleasure only torture...and he delved into the dark arts and used that to try to control me too...it was odd how such a dark and sick person could come into my life...and many of them do...and those who delve into the dark arts...im a pure person...and positive and it seems this darkness comes to destroy me---and if people have i guess 'entities' or involvd in spiritual warfare...then they are under 'attack' by negative forces as ive been told....im a positive/good force yet at the mercy of all this evil that is in my life....and things tat are beyond my control it feels... im not suer how projection, gravitation plays into it as no matter what i project this evil comes into my life and nothin gelse...which is a symptom of spiritual warfare, attack etc....its interesting u say to post different topics as most places would shy away from that but that is a good idea..i have so many to post...its ridiculous...story upon story and situation upon situation that just gets more intricate and makes u the victim more hopeless and confused as to how to get youreslf out of this...but the thing is that while u are doing this more negativity keeps occurring to you and occurring...on top of the 100 things u already have...i think mantras and tehse types of beliefs/practices seem to be really helpful and great sa far as trying to achieve peace or a peaceful state of mind...or helping a situation...i just wish i understood what all of this was or why it was happening or specifically what it is...and how to stop it...it feels like an exaggeration of what happens normally to someone with trials upon trials...and more things that make no sense...it feels like there are major forces involved solely in trying to make u suffer or destroy your life...or break you down or make u hopeless...that is the work of 'satan' or what those religions call satan...it does seem thatthe tao and those other spiritual beliefs...seem to be a better way of looking at the situatin...or dealing with it...