JustARandomPanda

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One of these days I have to find a way to afford all the expenses so I can take a Stillness-Movement workshop.

The OP sounds like he could be my brother. I'd really like to hear advice to the OP from others as I'll be taking notes too.

You sound a bit like me. I've gotten to the point where belly breathing (after a certain point) kind of wants to take over on it's own. My belly will suck in and out even if I deliberately hold my breath. I did that as a test to see if I was hallucinating the spontaneous belly breathing but nope - it's real. It's like the muscles have a memory all their own and they take over. I also can feel the muscles in my belly, back and sides distend with each Dantien cultivation orbit. Literally like someone took a Billiard Ball and was rolling it around inside my body. THAT was funny too. I *also* discovered - via a crazy spontaneous mudra - a way to 'super-charge' cultivation of my middle Dantien. My hands will spontaneously contort into fists then they hold outward in a circle (like I'm trying to hug a tree), then the fists come together. When I do that I can feel the Billard Qi Ball effect rolling around in my Middle Dantien much more strongly. At the same time I also feel as if a Sidewise Mini-Microcosmic orbit is passing around through my arms, hands, sides and back. I guess the fists joined together completes the sideway circuit. My body does this spontaneously. My guess is perhaps it's balancing right and left chi channels the way regular MCO balances front to back? KAP practice sure does lead to some odd things...

I finally got rid of mine. Unlike Witch mine was NOT a positive experience. Quite the opposite in fact as it always filled me with terror. I found out the hard way that I can raise my own energy rate far above what my body's meridians or what-have-you are able to handle simply by aiming my 3rd Eye at my crotch long enough. The energy unleashed is explosive and gives me Parkinson's Disease-like severe uncontrollable shaking and tremors (I kid you not) non-stop for weeks thereafter. My entity was feeding off my sex energy, terror and Parkinson's Disease symptoms. Not fun. I am still unclear as to how to go about protecting myself should something unwanted like that ever show up again.

Well according to the book the woman sits for approximately an hour or so in meditation afterward and alchemizes the semen chi to add to her own. It's just that I never finished the book so I have no idea if step-by-step instructions are presented on how to do the Alchemizing/Transformation work. I stopped reading it because I dislike the author emphasizing that to really do the practice right you're supposed to suck off strange men. I am not the type of person who enjoys sex with strange men or acquaintances. I prefer monogamy and loyalty. And the thought of me doing something like this to my BF - even if he fully understood the implications and consented - well I still don't like it. I don't know how to put it but for some reason the whole practice struck me as parasitic. Furthermore I know first hand there is such a thing as sick chi. I've been slowly trying to draw out sick chi from my ovaries to send to my Lower Dantien (it seemed to work as it reduced the period pain I always get) but I must not be doing it faultlessly because it always leaves me with a bit of a nauseated stomach. My point being that if my ovaries can store sick chi then who's to say some random dude from the street I suck off didn't have sick chi stored in his testicles as well? And I'd be swallowing it - with little practice of how to store it and practically none of how to purify it before adding it to my own. It's a strange book and I find it even odder that the author is incognito on the White Tigress website. Nothing about the him, his photo, other training he may have received, etc. All the major Qi Gong teachers have no problem doing those things. B.K.Frantzis, Michael Winn, Mantak Chia, Chunyi Lin, Jwing-Ming, TB's Michael Lomax...heck even Kunlun's Max Christensen has photos of himself and his students openly displayed on his website. The fact the White Tigress author is so hidden from public scrutiny I find...odd. Not to mention - the books have been out for a while now. I would think that TaoBums would have had at least ONE student who went through the program and could report back about it. Instead there's nothing. A black hole. I wish the guy in the other thread who said he and a woman were going to start studying it had reported back.

Thank you Markern for your kindness. I do plan to ask Tao what he thinks. If Tao says it's ok then yes, I would like to learn Santi's version of Tummo for that very reason.

There's more than just awareness to learn? SWEET! Sometimes I am so happy to be wrong.

To my amazement I discovered two different Buddhist groups that meet close to where I live! One is a Dzochen group that meets twice a month. The only thing is...they don't claim Norbal as their leader. Instead it's someone named Lama Surya Das. I have no idea who that is. The second is a group that holds beginner meetings at a Yoga center on Sundays. Except they claim someone as the Karmapa as their leader? I don't know who that is either.

What is the difference between Trul Khor and Qi Gong?

So...after today's lesson with my teacher, Tao I decided to try one of the techniques he taught. Trying to use one's hands to (not only see auras and/or energy) but to 'feel' them as well and see what color they give when one's eyes are closed as a sort of diagnostic tool. I still have not been able to see any color other than black when I close my eyes but seeing as Tao says the colors are associated with emotions and seeing as I have trouble feeling or identifying any emotions except happiness, fear and depression then maybe it's no surprise I haven't been able to see any other color except black when they're closed. I was, however, able to feel their dimensions. One thing that surprised the heck out of me is how big my heart (wind) chakra is! It was huge! Vastly outstripping all other chakras in size. It's weird "seeing" (or in this case feeling) one's weaknesses. My wind chakra is out of control - likely due to my fear and anxiety issues when it comes to having to interact with real people and have driven me to become a hermit. [TaoBummers don't count! Yall are a bunch of fluffy, friendly sheepdogs! ] My root chakra is almost gone. It felt like a tiny, dying ember. It took 3 tries to finally feel it. The diagram I made probably makes it seem bigger than what I actually felt. It literally felt no bigger than the fingernail on my pinky. I wonder if this is related to the constant fatigue I have everyday? It was a point of contention when my boyfriend last visited as he is a bodybuilder and wanted me to lift weights with him about 30 minutes after getting up every morning. I did (with effort) but he was never able to understand why it always left me feeling even more exhausted and light headed instead of energized like it does for him. He saw it as me just being lazy and making excuses to get out of exercising (who knows...maybe he's right?). The water and fire chakras were only a little larger than the size of my thumb. The big surprise was feeling what I swear was another chakra about a foot above my head! I've never heard of anyone speak of this. Was it my imagination or is there really such a thing? It seemed to be approximately the width of my head and was the 2nd largest one I felt. Crown was 3rd largest, and each got progressively smaller until I hit the Wind/Heart chakra which was the walrus of the bunch. I am a bit baffled as to how to go about correcting these imbalances. I'm still doing KAP every day so maybe that will correct them? I do wish Stillness Movement Qi Gong were available on DVD for people unable to afford a seminar. I sometimes wonder if that could also help.

Here ya go. THIS one is just for you, Blasto. > Thank goodness! Yeah...I have a tendency to do that sometimes.

Yikes! So I've actually REGRESSED in my meditation?!!

I have some interesting experiences in this area. It is interesting to see how my "inner image" has started to change as of the last few days. Used to - when I meditated - I'd see all kinds of inner images just like the OP mentions. Some of whom I believe to be guides that are trying to assist me. Lately however the most amazing thing has happened. My Inner Image guides have been telling me I think waaaay too much and if I don't just drop it I'll be stalled out. In fact...one of my guides literally kept looking at me and turning into the head of a loud, braying mule and I always got the VERY distinct impression he was telling me I was being a very stubborn jackass in my excessive reliance on thinking to try to understand what he says can not be understood like that. He would look at me and then do THIS > Now something even odder has happened as of yesterday and today. For the past 2 days - now when I meditate - a strange...hmm..non-thinking blackness quickly envelopes me. My mind..while not truly purely quiet certainly quiets down much more than it ever has before. Then my awareness seems to drop to my heart level and from there I'd swear it seems to radiate outward 360 degrees. I can feel this 360 degree 'sensing awareness' in my body physically. It's very odd and very new. I've never felt anything like it before. And all because of Inner Images. Things that make you go Hmmm....

That's true. High risk but possibly also high reward. Just like gaming at the high-stakes tables at Vegas. But who knows...by doing so you just may also discover a path no one else has opened before. They teach Tummo in KAP 1? Wait a minute! I thought Tummo and Kan and Li were the exact same thing - just different names.

Uh...am I understanding this right? That I could be reborn as an animal, bug or amoeba and further more it's extremely difficult to gather enough "escape velocity" to be reborn as a human again?

VH has a great love for run-on sentences in his writing. It makes it hard sometimes to understand what he's really saying. That's one reason why I find the Dalai Lama's explanations so much easier to understand. Of course the Dalai Lama can also afford good editors.

I wonder if this means Shakyamuni Buddha is still having an ongoing Enlightenment process?

I play Atlantica Online. Char Nic is Koriko. It's taken me a little over 4 months to get to level 52. As much as I love video games I don't find them addicting so much anymore. There are so many other fun things to do too. Plus I really like doing all the KAP exercises and meditation. Well...meditation is a bit more frustrating than fun but only because I suck at it.