Otis

My solution to the problem was to use a digital voice recorder. That way, I could quickly get whatever it is down, without having to think too much about structure, presentation or handwriting. Downside, of course, is that I never get back to those old journals, but then, I never get back to my earlier written journals, either. You could record the dream immediately, and then listen back to it, say, while driving to work. That way, the dream has been 1. recorded, and 2. listened to, so it's already more in your system (and if you really want to be able to find an entry again, you can probably star it, on your computer).

BTW, a great NPR science show, Radiolab, just had a show on the evolution of compassion and ethics: http://www.radiolab.org/2010/dec/14/

I like (in part 2 of the Dan Rather show) how the Dalai Lama declares that his brain is nothing special. He's a statesman, after all, not a meditation expert. He admits: "I don't have much time for meditation."

Darn it; can't watch these in the U.S., and they're not on Netflix. (Can't even watch them on the CBC's website). Any idea how else to see this?

I have spoken to some Taoists who believe that their lives (according to Lao Tzu) are supposed to be very simple and predictable. Live within a small prescribed radius, and no harm will come to you. I don't see it that way at all. How are we to grow, if we are not willing to "expand"? If we are not willing to fall in love, get our hearts broken, chase after a dream, audition for the role, go after the job, face the fear? And it's not like these things go away, when we turn our backs on them; we just become less prepared for when they do happen. What good is all the centering in the world, if we don't ride on that practice, toward living a full and engaged life? Being a wise enlightened man in a cave interests me not at all; that's just "being right". What I find powerful and relevant is engaging with my own limitations, expanding by paying attention to where I make my life small. There's so much to the world! And it never ends! I can accept where am I now, but I cannot stop there. What better purpose for my life, then to live it fully, with sincerity, heart, and a sense of humor?

I wanted to address this specific fallacy, because I have seen it used in many actual debates, as well. The moralist is taking on the role of the parent: I am looking out for what is best for humanity, by telling it what it should do. From that same perspective: "do what comes naturally" is an abomination, because a parent can't imagine saying that to their child. "How do I keep control of the kid, if I've told them to trust themselves, rather than an outside authority?" But this "justify behavior" argument only makes sense from that parental role. If I stop being a parent, and instead, start being a child who is raising myself (which is what I am, after all), then the "justify behavior" argument has no merit. Why would I want or need to justify my behavior? I am not trying to please a "parent", either outside or inside of me. It is this "internal parent" (i.e. the internalized moral voices) that I need to justify to, when I seek to break my internal moral rules. No moral rules, no justification. If I am not holding on to an internal moralist, if I am seeking merely a clear path ahead of how to relate to the world, then I just find what works, and what doesn't work. And it is easy to quickly see how indulging in "horrible behavior" is received by the world; not well. So I learn that the world relates better to me, when I am kinder and more gentle to it. Then I behave in a virtuous fashion, not because I'm supposed to, but because it is what works. The more, however, I am split between authentic doer and internal moralist, the more justification and self-deception I will have to indulge in.

Like you, Mewtwo, I don't have a lot of formal training, and I do a lot of improv "Qi Gong-ish" stuff. I find it very powerful in my life. And there was even a time, in which I thought I was close to teaching it to others. Teaching, however, is much more than being able to experience mastery within myself. Since I have my own awareness of what goes on in my body, then I can feel "what matters" from within. But I have no such insight into another. I can't tell where energy is going in them, or how they are experiencing an exercise. I only have the outside to view, and I only have words and example to share. I can't speak for you, but I feel that I have many more levels of mastery to go, before I should ever consider being a teacher, and quite possibly misleading others. This, despite the fact that like you, I once thought I might be ready. I hope you take the precautionary advice given to you by so many clear-eyed practitioners in this thread. I am willing to bet that in a couple years, you'll look back on this moment and ask yourself: "what was I thinking? I knew nothing back then."

nice song.

And yes, I think this is appropriate for a "young mind" thread. Back to the innocence of a day in which boy friends could hold hands without paranoia and we would kiss our fathers on the mouth. Back before we learned that "faggot" was the worst insult you could receive on the school yard. Back before the difference between genders was really that important. Before we felt we had to prove ourselves.

Yes, it has helped. I've been politically pro-gay, ever since I knew gay people (in college). And I dance with gay men, and have had several gay men as roommates. But there's still plenty of knee-jerk mythos inside of me about "gay" and "straight". These days, I don't like to think of myself as "straight", because it has so much baggage connected to it. It should just mean "I'm sexually attracted to women, rather than men", but it has also taken on all kinds of worthless connotation like: "don't appear gay", "don't talk this way", "don't hold your hands this way", "don't, don't don't". I am realizing how much of an imposition on my freedom the concept of "straight" is, and so I also see the value in challenging those internal myths, putting myself in the supreme "uncomfortable position" of being blatantly obviously undeniably gay in a very public setting, and still have fun with it. That's why I needed to go walking on Rodeo Drive, because it was the single worst place in L.A. to be that hot pink prostitute. Perfect!

Here! Here!

I appreciate what you're saying, Aaron. You recognize that other people hear your responses from their egos, and therefore, there is nothing gained by antagonizing their egos to the point that their ears shut. That said: please don't hold back with me. Yes, my ego feeds on compliments and agreement, but that's not what I'm here for. So if I have it coming, please let me have it!

Manitou and 3bob: I like the way you two point out these two truths that lean on each other, creating an even more dynamic truth. Be the light, and be unafraid of spreading light! ... but don't be "right". My own "addiction to being right" blinds me to other perspectives, closes my ears to sense, and corrupts my perception. I am here to practice being clear and honest about what I experience and believe, and to learn from others' viewpoints. My honesty has to include my epistemological limitations, or I'm just reinforcing my delusion that somehow I have a special view on the universe. I often think of it this way: there are nearly 7 billion people on this planet, none of whom share my exact opinions. Why in the world would I assume that mine are the right ones? Nor are my views "wrong" (well, sometimes). Mostly, though, they are merely "my views"; that's it. The more honest and humble I am about them, the more I stand to gain from the conversations here.

Yeah, I'm a huge fan of nature and science documentary, because they spark exactly that kind of wonder. They're great at busting up my provincial notions of what nature, intelligence, and order are like, as well.

Thanks, Manitou, but I actually was behind the camera on this one. I produce and edit all the vids, but we take turns being camera op. Here's a short one that I'm in. Practiced facing my lingering homophobia by cross-dressing and going strutting on Beverly Hills' Rodeo Drive:

I'm trying to follow your critique. You seem to be most dissatisfied with a specific non-dualism meditation tradition (the "hair-splitting" you mention), rather than wordless understanding, per se. Am I right? And then secondly, you seem interested in "proving" accomplishment. Well, of course that must happen in the world of the conceptual, because comparison and measurement are dualistic activities. But simply living as a "wordless spiritual process"? You throw in phrases like "self-deceiving vanity" and "dead water", but don't explain why you associate them with such a life. You use the word "us" a lot to describe limitations, but I don't recognize those limitations as belonging to me. What experience do you have, that makes you think such a path is "problematic", "unproductive", or "insignificant"?

These are great responses, everyone! I must admit, it is precisely the claims of "the only way" which make me uneasy about a practitioner. The claim seems so un-enlightened, that it's hard to imagine that the person who makes it, is really going some place I want to go. How could any of us know what the "ultimate" or "only way" is? That's an impossibility. And what is emptiness, if not epistemological humility? As for you, Moth, maybe you're someone who is attracted to a specific dharma tradition, with steps and a lineage and all that. If so, maybe that's the way to go for you. But my own path feels too clear, too intimate, for me to put a tradition in between me and it, to translate what heretofore needed no translating. If my path leads me to a specific teacher, I will not hesitate to embrace him/her, but in the meantime, I have many teachers throughout my life, who help illustrate possibility and effortlessness in various realms, just by being themselves. There's plenty to learn from, without taking on a bunch of new beliefs, and/or an obligation to be "true" to a tradition.

Thanks, Manitou, for the good words. I had a lot of fun creating that video with everyone. I agree what you say about the reaction of "the rest of the world". Of course, it wasn't that long ago that I was also sitting back and judging. Thankfully, I have several very childlike and playful people in my life, who inspire me toward play as practice, play as a way of living. Two of those friends who inspire me collaborated with me on this video, a public-interaction goof about an OCD Batman and his mischievous arch-rival:

I've been in a couple car crashes (and some close calls) and have experienced the same sense of time slowing down (and subsequent wacky physics). Also a couple of times when people have pulled guns on me. And to a lesser extent: motorcycle riding, sword-fighting, doing stunts, and some partner dance. I also notice that when I'm working a job that I love, the days move fast, but the weeks creep by. When I'm doing a job I don't enjoy, the days drag, but the weeks blur by.

So how much can we experience in a second? Is there room to open up time, and experience more within each moment?

That's a great compliment!

I'm not sure why you say that, but that doesn't match my experience. I know certain people who are "energy sensitive" and are attuned to receiving reiki, tantric energies, etc. (Most of the people I know like this are women, although that may be due to my bias of getting energetically connected to women, rather than men). Those who have done the most internal work (rather than those who are "in the dark"), also seem to be the most sensitive to others' manipulation of Qi. And then there are others (myself included) who are more prone to "send" rather than receive. I have "received", but it doesn't come as naturally (too strong an attachment to control?).

Peace and silliness, indeed! Oh, how sad it is that "maturity" has taken on so much mis-meaning. It should be "centered, humble, patient, open-minded, etc." But it also picked up all those unfortunate negatives, like "don't be foolish, don't play like a kid (or with kids), don't look at things from strange angles, don't, don't, don't ...." The "don'ts" are about appearing mature, of course, and have nothing to do with actual maturity. The genesis of this, as I see it: kids realize soon that adults have all the power in the world. So kids start cultivating their internal idea of what an adult is like, and try to shape their newfound egos in that direction. But a kid's-eye-view of adulthood has "don't" and "no" written all over it, because that is what they so often experience. That is why, if you watch kids playing with dolls, you'll often hear them giving the adult dolls dialogue like "don't do that", "be a big boy", "that's not allowed", etc. Even between kids, you'll often overhear some of them taking on the adult roles, and telling their peers that they "can't do that", "it's against the rules", etc. As we grow older, we pick up more of the actual meaning of maturity, but what tends to really matter (in terms of how people interact with us) is whether we've mastered the appearance of maturity. So we naturally keep playing the role of "mature", and we become boxed in by our "don'ts" and "no's". That's part of the reason why part of my practice has been to make play with adults an important part of my life. I have been creating play videos of various types with dance friends of mine for the last few years. Often I bring some kind of props to dance with me, and then distribute them afterwards, while people are still energized and youthful. The play that arises is unplanned and undirected, and becomes the raw material for my videos. For example:

I like this metaphor a great deal. I've had a similar one for my own relationship to the future: that I used to be trying (impossibly) to "crane my neck around" to see the future. Instead, now I face what I can actually see (the present and past), and trust that as I walk backwards into the unknown (with as much awareness as possible), that I will be able to handle whatever rough ground I stumble upon. (I also practice barefoot backwards hiking, so it's more than a metaphor, as well). As for my own experience of anti-aging: it is certainly about training the mind first. Most of my early practice involved surrendering the alarms of "if I do this, I'll get hurt", which is all about the mind inhibiting the body. Even now, my practice is to step out of my habits, as much as possible, and then allow my body to lead me (in its own dance / stretch / tai chi / qi gung). It's just the practice of getting the mind out of the way, and trusting that the body has its own wisdom for how to move me.