Otis

I don't think it is useful to believe in it. Believing in it, just makes it something separate from me, something "out there" that I have to learn to control. And it freezes me into a mental concept, from which I begin to judge my experience of that energy. However, using "life force" as a metaphor, to help discover how energy moves inside of me; that is very useful. Feeling and exploring Qi, without belief as to what it is or how it works, has been a path of great liberation. I think that is why Buddha would prefer to preach, by holding up a flower. I think he knew that once he started putting things into words, that he was going to divide his audience into the believers and the non-believers. Whereas, he (IMO) wasn't interested in getting people to believe, just in getting people to wake up. The beliefs are just "training wheels", for those who can use them, to be discarded as soon as possible.

BTW, the "enjoyment and appreciation of nature and solitude" has nothing to do with the "pain and irritation". The former is an ability to enjoy silence, the latter is the inability to endure noise. Those two abilities are not (necessarily) connected, and have to be developed separately. It is also not a question of "hard vs. soft", but rather "hard vs. brittle". "Soft" is not just "not being hard with others"; it's also "not taking offense at other's hardness". Soft is when you give up being brittle/fragile, when you no longer take offense at the hard. The only way to give up being brittle, is to practice accepting hardness! If your family environment is too overwhelming to practice in, hopefully you can find another environment that offers many of the same challenges, but hopefully without so much personal entanglement. But if you don't practice, and just find ways of avoiding those situations, then you won't gain mastery over them; you'll just have more limitations in your life.

That is: with great patience, the soft overcomes the hard.

Hey Journey, There's lots of great, nuanced replies on this page; I hope they help flesh out your understanding of the group. I encourage you to see this thread as your experiment: "what happens when I announce my enlightenment in public like this"? You can see the responses here as indication that the Tao Bums are a bunch of jerks, but I think that would be a mistake. Instead, you can just see this as a likely response, whenever you announce to the world "I am enlightened; let me show you the way". Knowing the outcome of this experiment, does it help suggest to you how to refine your enlightened life? For example, you have just learned that being enlightened doesn't mean that you stop learning. (Which means, of course, that all talk of "ultimate" this or that is silly, because there is no end to the learning that can be done. Why discuss the ultimate, if all that is real is the very next step?) So, please, keep taking the next step into this new realm of your life, including allowing other people (and their reactions to you) to be part of the mystery that you embrace. As an enlightened person, you now know that you are 100% responsible for all of your actions, including your communication, and therefore you cannot blame others for not hearing you the way you intended. And so on. Being enlightened is a huge responsibility, because there are no short-cuts anymore, no blame, no taking things personally, no resenting the world. All of those things are still tempting, but they represent the path back into delusion and confusion, so it is up to you to love the situation, as it is, and move forward as brightly and compassionately as possible. And don't forget that whenever you set yourself above others (even in your understanding), that you are indulging in a lie. You do not know others' experiences or exploration; why would you ever assume that you were the one who was ahead? Let yourself be the wandering child, and you will never have to assume about others.

I have a brother who always got sick at Christmas. Finally, he realized it, and so he stopped joining the family for the holidays. Now, he may or may not get sick at Christmas; I don't know, because he's never there...

You're right, of course. But also beware of dispensing "sound bite solutions". There is absolutely truth in what you say, but what you say does not necessarily convey that truth. What is "love"? What is "yourself"? How does one "love one's self"? And how does one fit that into a path of "self"-surrender? You're obviously in a place of great discovery, Journey, which is awesome. Be careful, though, about the tendency to preach those discoveries to others. It's not that what you're saying is wrong, but that finding your own in to a path is very different than having an answer that opens others up. Why not assume that everyone else here, has already had the epiphany that you just had? Why would you assume otherwise? And if that's the case, then why not engage others in conversation, rather than "saving" them through your aphorisms? Let your recent revelations be the wind that fills your sails, as you engage with others. But forget this "enlightenment" red herring, and forget this preaching. I doubt you are doing either yourself or anyone else a favor. If you want to demonstrate how important it is to love your self, then go out and do it, then come back and tell us what happened. Let your personal experience (and your respect of others) be the gift you share, not some facile words, telling others how to live.

Great thesis, Stigweard. I am likewise convinced in the central importance of family, and the need for developing those relationships. I have put off starting my own family, mostly because I never saw my own development being great enough to be the masterful father and husband that I would want to be. I love my family of origin, but relating there takes more mastery, as well. I feel like I am one of the few members of my family who really wants to relate to everyone, but I find even that is not necessarily within my control. Your reminder is a good one, because it's easy to get distracted (especially since my family lives far away), and then the building with them has to start over again. It's fun to believe that family will always be ready to receive me, but I find that the truth is more complicated than that. I need to stay involved, in order to keep the wheels turning.

This is a nice game; thanks for starting it. My take on situation 1: The sage starts always by building bridges, so when she approaches her brother, she does so with an offer: how can I help? No demands are made upon the brother for information; instead, the sage wins his confidence by demonstrating how much she is on his team. As events unfold, she will find natural opportunities to ask questions and discover details, all without ever making her brother a bad guy, or someone to leverage into an outcome. Beyond that, her actions, I think would have to arise from the situation that would exist then, so it's no good trying to look too far forward.

I think there's always a double standard when there is a dominant local belief system. Look anywhere in the world, and you have the in-crowd announcing their faiths from the steeples, while believers of other systems keep their heads down and mouths shut. But there's a great gift, in being one of those on the outside. The followers of the dominant belief system rarely have their beliefs questioned, and so, rarely have to examine them. But we, who seem out-of-touch with consensus reality, have our beliefs questioned all the time. Thus, we are forced to "clear the brush" of our beliefs, getting rid of the superstitious and self-serving junk, and paying attention to what really makes sense. If we are not able to find the Occam's razor simplicity behind our beliefs, then chances are, our beliefs should be let go of. If our beliefs make no sense, but we insist on them anyway, then we are every bit as hypocritical. So count yourself lucky that you are not the dominant belief system. Far better to be doubted, and to doubt my self, until the water "runs clean", then to hold onto unexamined beliefs because they make me feel special or right.

I think a lot of the tension between Islam and the West has to do with how we relate to our women in the respective cultures. In the west, we sell everything with sexuality, and we even sexualize our young girls. In Islam, of course, the female body is to be hid away from everyone but the husband and other women. Of course our culture seems like a threat to Islam, because it turns this very central (and rhetorically holy) relationship and turns it into exploitive commerce.

Of course you're free, Journey. You've always been free, as have we all. The only thing which imprisons us, are our ego traps. That is: we have to be willing to walk into the cage and close the door ourselves. I will not pretend to tell you what it is that you experienced, but I can warn you against believing in it too strongly. The very import in what you are talking about: surrendering "truth" and becoming innocent again, is exactly what's compromised if you think that you "get it", if you start believing that you "know the truth about non-truth". Belief is a tool of the ego, to try to shape the world to suit it. Believe that you are enlightened, and you are automatically stuck within that belief. Surrender belief, and you are free. Consider, too, why D.T. Suzuki says "Zen mind is beginner's mind". That is a parallel to the truth that you discovered. "Beginner's mind" is that which re-discovers truth in every moment, rather than holding on to some conceptual truth. But once you try to show people the "truth" about "non-truth", then you are no longer in the realm of non-truth. The "truth about non-truth" gets you on the road, Journey, congratulations. But the road is not glamorous or messianic (nor is it alone; lots of other Tao Bums walk there, I'm sure). Applying "non-truth" to our life-long habits, attachments and avoidances: that's a messy, inglorious, necessary path. The original revelation is important, but living it as a moment-to-moment re-awakening to life; that is where the discovery of freedom really happens.

Good, like you are the only blind man with the elephant. As you move around, the elephant keeps changing shape.

Inspire yourself! The revelation you describe is beautiful; it's the emptying of a cup. Now stay empty, and don't label yourself anything! Once you "are enlightened", then you are not, because it is not someplace to arrive at, it's just a path. Arrive, and you go backwards, towards knowing! Continue to surrender "truth", however, and you stay on the path. Absence of truth is not just a revelation; it's a continual mental lifestyle. It's the surrender of being right, all the time. Including regarding the question of whether you've "made it" or not. So yes, congratulations, but beware the trap that is built into the epiphany. Remember, if the phrase is "I am (adjective)", then chances are, it's an ego trap.

Well said, Aaron. I'm in total agreement. I often think of caring and courage as the twin Taoist virtues. Courage without caring, and I create all kinds of karma, by running roughshod over the world. Caring without courage, and I lack the means to follow the authentic path. Much of my early practice has been about surrendering my censors and other internal inhibitors, all of the habitual no's which act as continual brakes. My courage, I believe, needed to come first, in order to be able to step forward and choose a path of mystery. But because letting go of censors also creates the potential for lots of karma, then the action of stepping forward constantly reminds me of the need to be aware, and to care about the world and its inhabitants. At the same time, I learn that my happiness increases, the more I see others as beautiful, and the more I value their happiness. So yes, I do what I am drawn toward, but within the context of seeing life as the beloved.

That describes my path as well.

LOL, I guess I'm not one of those people! But then, I don't have an urge to harm people. Quite the opposite; I loathe hurting others. This does sound like me, though. Since hurting others doesn't "feel right", then I don't pursue it (I can't speak hypothetically about if it did feel right). I guess I'm a qualified hedonist: because I see my preferences as being all contaminated by ego, I treat them with a sense of humor. Nonetheless, I do feel like the only way for me to learn to follow my path, is by learning to trust my innate sense of direction. Which includes not second-guessing everything. And it includes many acts of intentional misbehavior! Part of my practice includes consciously doing things (that don't hurt others, but) which my inner voices all try to shut down. Learn that those "proper" voices are just another part of the illusion. For example:

No need to justify, of course. Just sharing a perspective from my own life, in case it might be useful. Merry Christmas to you, too.

LOL! I guess I'm one of those people.

Do you actually know people who believe that?

Funny, I actually took my first Tai Chi class in Richmond (Henrico, actually). J. Sargeant Reynolds Community College, during summer. I don't remember the teacher's name, sorry; it was a very long time ago. Good luck and have fun!

This is very funny. I'm in disagreement, however, that Qi is a TOMI experience. I think that's where tradition has done a grave mis-service, by making Qi mysterious and esoteric. IME, Qi is utterly mundane and present every moment. It is not just a part of me; it is who I am. (Caveat that I am not book-smart on Qi, but) my relationship to my own Qi is at the center of my practice for the last decade. In my experience, Qi is just a different way of looking at our bodies. In a quantum physics analogy: the physical body is the particle, Qi is the wave. Wave meaning all the dynamics (respiration, circulation, digestion, skeletal-muscular movement, etc), rather than the solid mass itself that we can weigh and dissect. Every step, every breath, is Qi in action. We are Qi, as long as we are alive. IME of living as Qi, I have become much less prone to injury. I have become lighter, stronger, much more balanced, and there is greater ease in my body since when I was a very small kid. When I live as energy, instead of form, then I experience the physical world as soft and welcoming, because I am no longer hard to it. If indeed, we are our Qi, then it is anything but esoteric, tiny, or insignificant. Qi is no less than life itself.

Jane (and Kate): I get where you're coming from. I try not to schedule too much time with family at any one stretch, because I know that eventually my calm and center get weathered, and then I end up contributing to emotional drama, rather than rising above it. And no doubt, family and drama are inseparable. I also have the perspective, however, of seeing one of my siblings not try at all. He's basically turned the family into the enemy, and makes all of us jump through a bunch of hoops, in order to be rewarded with his presence. He has an extremely narrow view on what is acceptable, so the smallest emotional hiccups confirm his paranoia, sending him running away from the family amidst grunts of "never again". I have spent 20X more time with family, over the last decade, than my brother, and have rarely felt overwhelmed or like I needed to flee. I just don't see the family as that difficult (admitting, of course, my limits that I mentioned in the first paragraph). Now, I am not right about my family, nor is my brother wrong. But reality also includes parents in their 70s, and the possibility of anyone suffering from calamity in the meantime. I have seen what happens when someone does not resolve conflict before the death of the other family member, and the residual weight of that is huge. So, I won't pretend for a moment to understand what your respective family lives are like, and I know my experiences will not necessarily generalize to y'all. But I think it's worth mentioning the other side of seeing "family interaction" as "one of those limits". Those "limits" can be self-evident, while still being illusory. And there is something about family, in my experience, which cannot be replaced or taken for granted.