Cat Pillar

Iron Snake qigong?

I SEE WHAT RD DID THERE

Just ordered GOT 1...can't wait to sign up for the workshop at the end of the month.

I've always wanted to read the Illuminatus! trilogy. Maybe it's about time I buckled down and bought it. I wish I could say I was reading something right now but I'm really not. It's been so long since I just sat down and enjoyed a good book...time is so hard to come by these days.

Would the real Higgs Boson please stand up?

Forgive me for butting my head in where it doesn't belong, but...I've noticed that you tend to be rather down on yourself in some of your posts. I enjoy what you have to say and I have a lot of respect for you...personally, I think you're too hard on yourself.

Wow, really? That's pretty darn cool! Non-linearity can be so convenient sometimes! I plan on getting the DVDs as well. I look forward to practicing GOT, it'll keep me psyched for the workshop!

To expand on this, I think you'd be better served by looking at WHY you want snow white skin and silky beautiful hair. Often-times material/cosmetic desires are an expression of a deeper emotional/psychological need. Especially when our material desires are difficult or impossible to obtain, we can often better serve ourselves by focusing on and working directly with the underlying emotional/psychological need. While the surface material desire is specific and exact, underlying needs can often be addressed in lots of ways. Usually, most of these alternate means are a lot easier to obtain than the specific surface desire.

Awesome!! I was just thinking today how cool it would be if the workshop got scheduled and ended up near my birthday...lo and behold, the workshop is the weekend before my birthday! (Nov. 6th). Hope it doesn't sell out too quick...won't be able to afford it until the end of this month, most likely. x.x

*facepalm* Nice job, Cisco. Another failtastic move. One more reason I hope my company gets more Juniper equipment. I work with Cisco stuff all day every day.

November would be hard, although pleasantly sooner than I was expecting. But if that workshop happens I WILL make it there.

I think using gene therapy for spiritual advancement would be playing with fire. Assuming it would even work in the first place, "jump-starting" someone like that could have severe psychological consequences. Not to mention, the beauty of spiritual paths is in the journey itself, not the end destination. In my humble opinion, there will never be a replacement for practice. I'm all about finding effective and efficient practices, but "practice" is always a vital piece of the equation. Gene therapy can't replace all of the lessons you can only learn on the road. On the other hand, using gene therapy for stress reduction and other medical applications is something I'm a lot more open to.

This thread is reminding me of how much I used to read, and how much I miss reading for fun. x.x So many great suggestions on here, so many books I still want to read... One day, when I am not so busy...

I bought the digital version for PC. And the laptop I had it on is now trying to do it's best imitation of modern art, thanks to trying to catch me in the middle of a fall. (It was a good effort, buddy...thanks for your sacrifice...*sniff*) I'd be really happy to see another printing of it, though. Also looking forward to whatever you might have coming out next, Michael. Will be seeing you at your next stateside workshop.

That made me cry (the good kind.) Thanks.

None of my friends in the "real world" are into this stuff, so that wouldn't help. And it won't help if you tell me that my problem is illusory, no. Mostly because I already "know" that...again, when I'm conscious enough to remember it. I already had that breakthrough, what I work on now is trying to stay conscious of that. It's a work in progress. I've gotten past the worst of my suffering (chronic severe depression), so I'm content to let progress take its course. I think "You are not the suffering" is a great starting point. What that really means isn't something easily answered in words, though. Don't you think?

Innuendo? Not sure what you mean, but I won't sweat it. I don't know if it worked, I'm not daojones. But I think maybe you took my statement out of context (unless you're just playing around, in which case disregard). Whether or not you "did that" with emotion isn't really relevant to what I was talking about. I was speaking specifically to "cutting at the root." In my own experience, I can't get to the root of my suffering when I'm caught up in identifying with the suffering. It takes a conscious recognition of what is occurring for me to cut through, and it took a LOT of practice watching my thoughts before I could do it effectively. I still find myself getting wrapped up in suffering a lot, I'm sure as hell no guru or master. But I know what to look for, when I can stay conscious enough to do it.

Thanks for that description of qigong and neigong, YM. I find it interesting, because that's the opposite of how it was explained to me by my teacher. Qigong was described as working with external energies, and neigong as working with internal energies.

Boy, Personally, I think it's much easier to cut at the root when you're not being pulled this way and that by your emotions. Just my opinion.

The only demons I've contacted have been my own. I assume they're not as scary as the real thing would be, but they are still pretty unpleasant. kentucker4 asked earlier if anyone had become a better person as a result of qigong. Eastern philosophy, meditation, and the Kunlun practices I learned have all contributed to the betterment of my being. One of my friends once even asked me "Who are you, the Buddha!?" It was tongue-in-cheek and meant totally jokingly, but it was in response to the fact that I tend to be unaffected by the emotional ups, downs, and drama of our circle of friends. I credit this to cultivation practices. Granted, I've got tons of my own personal issues which still strongly affect me...but cultivation is making things better every day.

I think that in addition to avoiding identifying with the emotion, it's also important to allow yourself to fully feel it. I think resistance to negative emotions is as much an issue as identifying with them. Kind of like striking a balance between not clinging and not running away - in other words, developing an internal environment in which all emotions (not just negative) are free to flow in and out like clouds passing through the sky.

Sometimes it seems like progress and regression are separated by a very fine line. While I find myself making a lot of good progress in certain areas of my life (depression is almost gone, I don't hate myself anymore, I'm preparing to make some HUGE changes in lifestyle...) I find myself wondering if I'm starting to fall behind in others. Lately I've been questioning a lot whether I want to even be open to the possibility of an intimate relationship with someone. I used to long for intimate closeness with another...but the more I become comfortable with myself, the more I wonder if I really need that kind of relationship. I have plenty of friends, so it's not like I'm isolating myself from the world. People aren't romantically attracted to me, so it's not like I'd have to change anything. I could alter aspects of my outward appearance and adjust my intent/internal state and probably have a decent chance of attracting someone, but...why bother? It would certainly prevent anything from ever interfering with celibacy practices should I choose to try some. So what do you think? Is it a mistake to close yourself off to intimacy?

Inquiry into my belief structures has revealed yet another fascinating aspect I want to explore. This idea that we create our own reality and are largely responsible for the life we experience has been one I've been trying to play with, but I have found I have never been able to fully commit myself to a "successful" mindset. Now, I have an idea of why this is occurring. I am afraid that there will be consequences for being successful. Say that I am able to realize my dream of becoming a professional musician...will that create an imbalance/debt that will result in a great loss of some kind? Or perhaps, will my candle burn brighter at the cost of burning shorter? I have this belief that everything comes with a price, and if I dare to be too successful the price will be higher than I want to pay. To further complicate things, I wonder if the very belief that this is so may in turn cause it to be true. For instance, if this belief is present and I become successful, something bad may happen, whereas if I never had the belief in the first place or could somehow eliminate it, it would no longer be an issue. I know I think too much, worry too much...but I'm an extremely cautious person. Well, most of the time. When I act on impulse it usually bites me in the ass. Grah...y'know, it's so frustrating having answers sitting there but being afraid to trust them. If I were not attached to the outcome, it would not be an issue. Damnit, I answered my own question. Why are the answers so frustratingly simple? This same answer could be applied to countless conditions of my existence. So, there it is. The core fear, that I am in danger some how. That I have something to lose if I don't act in the right way. Is it that ol' Christian upbringing rearing its ugly head again? Or is there truly something to gain and something to lose?

Be and do what I love. That's what I'm trying to do, I'm just having a hard time dealing with my insecurities. Removing the attachment to outcome is much easier said than done. ------------------------------------------ This is one of the things I have difficulty with. Letting go has always been hard for me, especially when it comes to trying to balance that with pursuing my passions. -------------------------------------------- I know, right!? -------------------------------------------- Oh, I'm well aware of how the fundmanetals affect performance. I've played in two bands. I don't know that there'd be any cost other than regret for wasting potential...again, if I weren't attached to the outcome, there would be no cost at all to wasting potential. --------------------------------------- The fear of doing the wrong thing isn't just energetic, it's psychological. That was burned into me at a young age with a fundamentalist Christian upbringing. It will be interesting to note if I experience any difference as a result of your energetic changes. I have not noted anything thus far.

I think the advice anamatva and -K- gave was good. I was bullied all throughout school too, and used to deal with anxiety attacks and all of that good stuff. Meditation, self-inquiry, counseling, and self-acceptance led me on a path to recovery from a decade-long deep depression. It took hard work and time, but if you're willing to face yourself with honesty and understanding, you can find a way through. By improving your internal state, you will see the world reflecting the changes in your external circumstances. Also, I highly recommend counseling. Since you're attending university, I expect they should have counselors on hand who can help you work through things. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS. Opening up to a counselor will help prepare you for opening up to the world.