Cat Pillar

Hmm...interesting point.

Is there a concessions stand? I'm hungry.

For the meditative technique that involves watching the mind, I'm having difficulty with something. It's suggested to watch the mind, but not get involved with it, just letting the thoughts pass. This seems to be very difficult to do without an active interruption of the thought stream. For example, a thought stream will arise, and usually instead of passing a story will start to form. Often this turns into a short daydream of some kind. This tends to decrease my awareness of the thought stream as the story grows. Is the idea simply to build on the ability to maintain awareness of the thought-stream as it develops, or is the technique of watching thoughts supposed to prevent the stream from developing in the first place?

What an interesting reply, Kali Yuga. It's fascinating to see how applicable much of your post is to the recent post I made in the "Suicide, evolutionary perspective" thread - one I made before reading your post. I am in precisely that position where I have seen the ugliness of my psychic garbage, and must now decide whether I have the courage to face it.

Didn't sound corny to me. As far as the work thing goes, I admit an attachment to the paycheck. I get paid good money at my job. Fortunately, the night shift doesn't have to be a permanent thing. After 6 months, the shift differential I get becomes a permanent part of my salary, and I only have two more months to go for that. I know someone on the evening shift (which I worked before and loved) who would love to trade me because he enjoys working nights. Two more months of misery will hopefully be worth it in the long run. I think my problem is I can't decide if I want to keep suffering or change. It may sound odd, but that seems to be the reality of the situation. I'm getting to the stage where all the really ugly stuff is coming out into the light, and I'm not sure I have the courage to face it all.

For me, suicidal thoughts usually arise as a result of indecision, apathy, and depression (themselves a result of attachment to desire). I suppose I could blame the monetary system for putting me into a position where I must pit work against desire and creating a high-stress environment...but that doesn't really solve anything and in my opinion kind of misses the point. My battle with suicidal thoughts, to me, is more about my internal environment than my external environment. While the external environment may elicit an internal reaction leading to suicidal thoughts, a change in the external environment won't necessarily resolve the internal issues that lead to the suicidal reaction in the first place. This is an interesting topic, since I recently began experiencing suicidal thoughts again. I blame this partially on being switched to graveyard shift and the havoc it's playing on my sleep cycles. Body no like. Living has become a chore for me, and I don't particularly enjoy doing chores. But, as -K- mentioned, everything changes. If there's one thing I can be assured of it's that this situation cannot possibly remain the same forever, due to the nature of...well...everything. Of course, change isn't always positive. But there's no point in worrying about that unless it happens.

I enjoyed the article on noting. Thanks for sharing, de_paradise!

Does anyone here play Go? I recently started playing, and it's very addicting. Simple rules, but the depth of the game is incredible. It's too early to tell for sure, but learning the game seems to be improving my mental faculties. I've always wanted to learn...but I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit that what drove me to actually learn the game was watching an anime series called Hikaru no Go. Good series if you like Go.

Yes, I have already seen the detrimental effects of trying to force anything in meditation. That is good advice about attitude, though. It's advice I've heard before, but it's also something I tend to lose sight of now and then. I appreciate the reminder.

Hahaha, I like your style, Marblehead. I lack wisdom and experience, so perhaps that is why I do not understand the "free will" debate. It almost seems like arguing about whether or not you have the ability to argue about something.

I appreciate your encouragement, CowTao! I will bear in mind the warning about empty mind as a goal. I've already begun reading the material Sunya posted a link to. I plan on starting the video series when I get home from work this morning. This thread is helping to awaken some more passion for my practice, something I've been lacking lately. Very refreshing!

de_paradise, I see what you mean, thank you for pointing that out. I am quite interested in the higher states, and having an extreme calmness of mind. But the evolution of the energy body is actually one of my primary goals, so your response here is very interesting to me. I am practicing meditation to help bring balance, clarity, and "purity" (clean mind) as a foundation for further energy practices.

But if I don't get straight A's, my parents will take my allowance away! The question from my perspective is a little more subtle than that, though. Awareness of being lost in a thought stream tends to interrupt it automatically. Once I recognize the nattering, it resolves itself. At least until the next story develops. It's the getting carried away itself that I'm looking at. Edit: Thank you, Sunya! Resting Mind has a very pleasant sounding name. I look forward to reading through the book.

Hey Tactile, just had to comment on your info. We seem to have a lot in common musically...I played clarinet in school and currently play guitar. Excellent choices, imho Edit: Thanks for advice, Astral. If I can get going on a diet I'll probably start a personal practice journal here so I can put all my experiences down.

steve, Thank you for that detailed answer! I like your leaf in a stream analogy. Much of my questioning was based on whether or not interrupting the thought stream was practical - I have noticed that attempting to "force" a state results in tension, but the frequency with which I step onto the leaf has been frustrating. ----------------------------------------------- ChiDragon, Even with breathing techniques it is easy to get lost in a thought stream. In my experience an active intention to have a blank mind creates more activity, and results in tension. A blank mind is indeed the state I am hoping to experience, but I can't force the clouds to go away by will. I can try to shove them aside, but that seems to only condense them into a smaller space - easier to ignore for a time, but at the cost of solidifying their presence. ------------------------------------------------ CowTao, Thank you for the link and the suggestion. I'll have to watch that when I'm on a computer with sound. Are there any written resources you could recommend as well? ------------------------------------------------ Michael, That's a great trick! I look forward to giving that a shot in my next meditation. Are there any podcasts you would recommend specifically?

Hehe, nice one Scotty! #Oscar Wilde - Either that shit on the wall goes, or I do! #Leonidas - Tonight, we shit in hell!

Interesting. Could be time for an experiment then! Thanks for the reply, Astral. Giving up cheese and dairy would be a test of will, that's for sure. That's my favorite food...well, aside from sushi. Thanks for the recommendations, too. I'll have to check those sources out. What about detox diets? Y'know, like the 7-day liquid fasts where you drink some nasty lemon-based concoction and take supplements to pull a Drano on your digestive tract.

I'm hardcore addicted to bad food. Especially dairy. I can down 3 cups of cottage cheese in one sitting and still want more! Bland food bores me, I'm addicted to the endorphin release of flavor. This is why I've never attempted a raw diet, seems like it would be really boring to eat. Maybe I should work on my perception of eating as entertainment rather than just a fueling process for the body. Here's a question, though. Once you're through detoxing, do the cravings for the unhealthy stuff stop? I could probably do a fruit diet of some kind. I love me some fruit!

#Sun - That shit is hot. #Australia - Shit spins the other way down here! #Australia 2 - Everywhere you go there's shit that can kill you. #Gordon Ramsay - The shit is RAW! GET OUT!

I thought they all were good, but I just about lost it at this. Having known many satanists...it's so true.

And so once the Truths behind the Great Matrix Illusion are seen, life no longer serves a purpose?

It occurs to me that perhaps the reason I have such difficulty with "surrender" and "letting go" is because I haven't grokked what it is that I'm "surrendering" and "letting go." Something to chew on for me...

Congrats on the new state of mind, InfinityTruth! I could use that kind of insight right now. I'm going to try this today.

This is something that's been brewing in my mind for a while now. Can dreams create psychological scars like those of waking life traumas? I've been thinking a lot about dreams lately. I remember what my dreams used to be like when I was a little kid...they were often as terrifying as they were incredible. It wasn't all nightmare material, either. Some of them were terrifying because they were beyond my ability to process or understand. It's hard to even describe many of them...some held a semblance of coherent story or setting, others were so surreal that I can't even put words to them. Many left me feeling disturbed on a fundamental level. I sometimes wonder if the intensity of my dreams when I was a child had a significant impact on my psychological development growing up.

That's pretty cool, Taomeow. I think I've experienced those spontaneous triggers before, but I never thought to examine them in the light of different timelines. Beautiful.