Cat Pillar

Makes me think of Robert Monroe's "loosh" concept. Very similar idea, Earth is like a farm where beings are harvesting some resource called "loosh" from us. Been awhile since I read him so I don't remember all of the details, but if I remember correctly Monroe's "loosh farming" wasn't necessarily a malignant thing...I think he framed it in a more positive light, like we were providing some valuable resource to the cosmos. I dunno, I have no recollection of experiences with non-corporeal beings. Certainly none to support this concept. Then again, I haven't necessarily experienced anything to deny it, either.

I know, deja vu, right!? Wait...

That's an interesting technique. I generally don't look in mirrors much anyways unless it's to brush my teeth or shave. I still have body image issues to work through. The attachment to approval is coming up more prominently now in my contemplation, as I have noticed it ties in very strongly with many of my current "problems." Much of my indecision concerning my life's direction is a direct result of this yearning for approval. Approval, or fearing the loss of, seems to be a big part of why I can't dedicate myself to pursuing a purpose. It would require stepping on what too many other people want from me, and I feel somehow obligated to provide that which is requested. I seem to sacrifice my dreams in order to help others pursue theirs. I appear to believe that this is the correct course of action, that this is what it means to be selfless and compassionate. Gary Clyman's concept of "deservingness" appears to be in play here. For some reason, I do not feel that I am deserving of having my dreams fulfilled. Somehow, I am not worthy. I can't place myself above another person, and so I default to seeing myself as below, lesser. Ironically, there appears to be a supporting belief that this is the morally "superior" position. Better to be harmed for another's advantage than to harm for my own. I am a sanctimonious doormat, convinced of the purity of my ways. This allows me to justify the beliefs in the face of sorrow and hopelessness. This suffering is noble! Ugh. How unpleasant the view from the inside. So many assumptions...deeply held, deeply believed...how can they feel so right, when their foundations are built on sand?

I joke with my friends all the time that I'll solve all the world's problems once I figure out how to go super saiyan.

Agreed. Actually, there are a number of metal bands that combine classical elements into their music. There happens to be a neo-classical metal genre as well, but progressive power metal bands are famous for using classical influences. One of the best examples is probably Symphony X, if you haven't heard of them check them out. The song Evolution is a good one to start with. And if you like female vocals, I highly recommend checking out Edenbridge (My Earth Dream and Arcana are the only albums I've heard, but I like them both.) Edit: I'm a huge metalhead, so if these tickle your fancy and you want more, I can give you a big list of bands you'd probably dig.

My favorite is Christian Black Metal. Christian bands playing a genre of music most well known for its hyper-violent hatred of Christianity and over-the-top Satanism. Still listen to a couple of those bands actually, the guys from Lengsel and Extol (first albums by both bands are my preference, didn't care for the later ones) are excellent musicians. Vaakevandring was interesting too.

Did you know that Rocky Gray, one of their old members, used to play in a Christian death metal band called Living Sacrifice? Yeah...I used to be all into Christian metal back in the day. Weird times.

Thank you for the reply, Steve! Yes, attachment to approval is something I'm very much aware of, but it is a very hard addiction/attachment to break. Mostly because I still fall into unconscious thought/action most of the time. Developing consciousness has been a very slow process for me. I have actually been exploring the question of "who," and it's one that continues to confound me. The closest I can come to an answer is "something that experiences."

manitou, Thank you for the kind words, and thanks for sharing your story from AA. "But how are you now?" is a surprisingly powerful question when you're muddled with fears about what might be. -------------------------------- dmattwads, I've never tried the healing sounds before, perhaps that's something I should look into. -------------------------------- Blasto, My intuition tells me that I should listen closely to what you said. Rededicating myself to my physical and cultivation practices might be just the ticket to move past realization into action and change. Sounds like a pretty harsh upbringing. I'm happy you were able to overcome it. -------------------------------- Otis, Thanks for your very kind words! -------------------------------- CowTao, Thank you for sharing and for your well wishes. That "Original Mind" is certainly something I wish to rediscover for myself.

Thank you for the replies, Apech and Marblehead. Agreed! I think it does add value. In my opinion it's much easier to view the things, people, and experiences in our lives as gifts to be appreciated for however long they're with us when viewed from a custodial standpoint.

I dunno if he was a master or not, but this Japanese badass survived BOTH nuclear attacks: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/25/hiroshima-nagasaki-survivor-japan I can't even begin to imagine what that was like. Well...I can, but it's not pleasant.

Wow, interesting coincidence. I've heard of the Venus Project before... If you do a google search, one of the top searches is "Venus Project Scam," and apparently the Zeitgeist guys were disparaging it as well. I'm familiar of the name because I'm superficially familiar with the artist who's behind it, Jacque Fresco. He's a sort of "guest teacher" in a self-help course called Simpleology, made by marketing guru Mark Joyner (author of such tasteful titles like "Mind Control Marketing." He used his experience in military intelligence and strategy to develop his marketing skills.) Fresco definitely gives me the vibe of a utopian idealist. Given the source I'd be skeptical about supporting the project, but I'm actually pretty interested in the Simpleology stuff (it was recommended to me by an MMA school). Their 101 course is free and so far seems to have a lot of straightforward and practical advice about goal setting and developing good habits.

You don't think a 90-year-old man surviving a brutal beating by the red guards undefended, with only some partial-sight loss to show for it, isn't a siddhi? I think taking a brutal beating without even responding to it shows a pretty high level of attainment. It's pretty impressive to me. While I'm not a true pacifist myself, there's something very powerful in nonviolence that in my opinion should be greatly respected.

I just ordered the level one DVD, looking forward to trying it out. How soon do you think it will become apparent if someone is not suited for this style of energy work? Anything in particular you would recommend watching out for? On a personal level, I'm interested in what you have to offer because I've always liked the more "mystical" or "magical" side of things. I also have a love of Norse mythology, so your Teutonic Shamanism (while not the focus of the DVDs) just gives you more points.

Hehe...just had a playful thought. Maybe all of us in the modern world are on the "easy" levels, and we're working on getting experience points and leveling up so we can play the "harder" ancient levels of the Earth game. I'm totally choosing the shaman class.

Did you use the feather tickling technique thing? Cuz I can't seem to get it to work...

Practice (repetition) is the key, imho. Heart and spirit I think are important, because without dedication and passion I don't think the repetitions really sink into your being quite as effectively - not to mention the difficulty of motivating yourself to practice enough. But it really does boil down to time + effort = talent. At least in my opinion.

That link gives me a 404 error.

I see your point now, and concede it's a good one. I remember hearing about Amma years ago, but it certainly wasn't through mainstream sources. lol...religious Miley Cyrus. I'm probably going to have nightmares now, thanks.

Hehehe, I need to be more careful with my wording. Where did I imply that I considered Penn and Teller to be haters and therefore dismissed their views? I happen to love their show. What it goes to show, is that you CAN indeed make a devastating critique of Mother Theresa if so inclined. Penn and Teller were so inclined, and I was amused that Otis would use that as an example since there is a "real world" illustration of it.

Just had to point out how valid this point is...Penn and Teller did a show based on how Mother Theresa and Ghandi were horrible people. Just goes to show...lol

Holy crap, I think I'm enlightened now...

I've never even heard of that one...but I'm no medical expert, either. I've taken antibiotics numerous times, after dental work or for infections of some kind. I know for sure I've had amoxycillin, but the others I don't remember the names for. I've never had problems with taking antibiotics, but...you know what they say. Everyone's different. Especially when it comes to medicine. I know some people who can't stand antibiotics cuz it messes with their stomach or gives other unpleasant side effects. My approach is take it, if it sucks, stop taking it. Worked for me so far, but your mileage may vary.

I've tried smoking salvia numerous times. 10x and 20x...neither had any affect on me, except making me feel a little high.

I'll definitely be signing up for the next workshop. By then I should have the book and have had some time to study it, so hopefully my sensitivity will improve in time for the workshop.