Mahberry

Please share. I could use some of that.

No, that's not true. You just don't get it. Hurr. Women are all evil spawn they're out to get us. Can't you see that?!? Guys are always the nicer people, putting themselves out for hurt. Except for the bad guys. With muscles. Well, let's just all imagine what kind of posts Non would make if he's born into a fat woman's body. "Why won't guys love me, beautiful women are all evil! I'm not fat by choice, I'm fat because I'm big boned and my genes are predisposed to keeping fat, guys are so shallow. Why won't they appreciate a woman who'd put out and be nice to them and cook for them and hug them and love them for who they are. I want a tall, dark and handsome guy in my life to tell me I'm beautiful." I think society have it a lot tougher for woman, at least if you're a guy you can take off a few pounds of fat and put on a few pounds of muscle, a change of wardrobe and hygiene coupled with a good personality (as in treating the opposite sex like a fellow human which some people might find difficult) set you off above average. Though personalities do trump most physical qualities, if you can actually get to know a woman before you hook up with them, which isn't exactly easy if you're dating people as opposed to being friends and doing things together. Well, tough luck for the armchair anthropologists/sociologists stuck in their cocoon.

Where has the suicide machismo went? Wuwuwuwu, if I kill myself everyone would be better off. You wish, you don't even matter the slightest bit to have any effect on anyone's life. Of course my happiness is at another's expense. How else can it be? Everyone is always the bad guy but not you. You're the nice guy stuck in an unfortunate body. Why aren't the beautiful and hot women noticing me? They should see me for who I am, the nice guy with a heart of gold. They should see me FOR MEEEEE. As for me, well, I think you're right. I'm a happiness parasite. I just leech happiness out of other people. All I want from women are their vaginas and if I can't get them, I'll just demonize them and spin theories in my head on why they are such wretched people. I know all about them even though I've never had a decent conversation with them before. They are all materialistic succubus without feelings who only want bad guys with muscles. Yes, just guys who are bad, and with muscles. I don't have muscles because I'm a good guy, women should appreciate me and relish me. My appearance is just a miniscule part of me, wait till they discover what I think of them. Keep wanking off to the pathetic attention you get from your victimhood. Everytime you spin another theory on why it's everyone else's fault but you so you can feel better about your angry little vengeful self, I hope you remember me. My post is probably the only thing you get a high out of today. Keep embellishing the avici hell you've constructed for yourself in your head.

No, don't think like that. You're insignificant. You have no friends. When you die nobody would care. You're not that important. You can keep making stories and theories of why you're an unrefined diamond in a cruel unfair world in your head to blunt the pain of being a loser and not put in any effort to bring happiness into your life. Over the years when everyone is moving forward in their lives, you'll still be this person right now, only older with an aging body that won't be getting any younger. Then the pain will be unbearable but it'd be too late by then because you'll rather stay in your comfort zone and take solace in your poor me stories than take the pain and grow like everyone ordinary person out there. So, really consider your options. Push yourself and grow or keep being this person you are right now. It takes a lot of determination to go all the way with suicide, you're not one of them.

How do you know all these?

How bad is your scoliosis? You should lift heavy weights if you could, lift to look good, pack on the muscles, strength is secondary. Take up swimming if you can't. Drop that low carb diet for now and eat normally, most probably you have too much cortisol in your system, that's why you get so much visceral fat around your abdomen. It's less intimidating to walk up to a stranger and start a conversation if you believe you are presentable. So, work on it. Groom yourself, nice skin, nice hair, fitting clothes, look up askmen.com, pay attention to how other people dress, learn from it. Look good, be vain but don't project, only be critical to your own appearance. Strive to be normal, don't keep falling back on spirituality to solve your problem. Get to know more guys, have some friends that you look up to, pay attention to how they carry themselves, how they walk, how they speak. Really really spend your time to improve your situation, no more duplicitous thoughts, just aim for what you deeply want. All the tao in the world don't mean anything if you're not happy and have to run away from your pain. I used to hide behind Buddhism to deny my own needs, I was 26 (a bit too late) when I called bullshit on my own spirituality and just look for happiness like everyone else does. Took over a year before I'm comfortable with the person in the mirror and another year to really have a social life. Had a few very close platonic friends (platonic because they're not attracted to me) from the same social circle as my other guy friends, learned how to banter from them (important skill) and learned how to talk over the phone for hours (important skill #2). Once you're comfortable around women, everything just falls into place. I'm 29 now and have never been happier, also meditation is a lot easier now that my head is not as full of fuck as it did.

hey, do you take pride in your appearance?

lol, false dichotomy. you still deeply want a companion and to get laid and you're making up all these beliefs to justify for your lack of trying. if you truly believe in what you said, why the struggle? in the same way that you want a desirable partner, why shouldn't the other party have expectations of their own? you want reality to bend your way? can't you see you're just throwing a more sophisticated tantrum like a kid who isn't getting what he wants?

Here's a link. http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html The article and the comments are very informative. Plenty of less than average fat girls will take you for what you're worth, OP. Not that there's anything wrong with less than average fat girls but I'm thinking that you're pining for a beautiful woman to discover what a nice guy you're deep down inside and love you for who you are and tell you to rest on your laurels because you're already perfect and need not work on yourself anymore (I said this because I used to suffer from the same delusion). All your rationalizations will get you nowhere, the path to getting a woman in your life is simple and direct (just not easy due because of the compulsory amount of hurt we have to go through), it just takes a man willing to be a man, take charge of their own life and improve themselves to a desirable level. Women put in a lot of work into their appearances too, too much in fact so why shouldn't they expect the same from their would be partners? I can dig deeper and relive my old self for you, if you're willing to listen. I bet a lot of it will resonate with you.

Sad bloke here. Looking to unstuck my mind from a persistent someone. Have been to a 10 day Goenka course and occasionally does vipassana, no attainments whatsoever yet. Hopefully, there's something that Taoism can offer me that my mind wouldn't so vehemently resist like other practices. Thank you to all of you who've been here before me and contributed a lot to the forum, I've been a long time lurker and I learned a lot from your posts.