buck

Sorry for the delayed response. I had intended to reply to each and everyone, but I think maybe it would be better if I just do like this: First, thank you all so much for your responses! They are very appreciated and I have learned from them. Unfortunately in my area there is no one teaching Chinese martial arts anymore. So I can't learn any of those styles. However, I will continue training in hapkido. I enjoy it very much and I can't imagine stopping even if I could also learn a Chinese style. So I have decided to just keeping practicing hapkido, get out more (even though I live out in the woods, much of my time is spent indoors since I work as a network security consultant, constantly monitoring networks) and meditate more as I should. Also I'm going to keep reading the posts and topics here and ask questions where I don't understand something. Thanks again for all your help! Buck

These are some really great responses! I am amazed at the help, thank you all so much! I have to sign off for a bit right now but there were some things that really hit home with me in the responses... I'd like to mention those too and an extra thanks!

Good advice, thanks! No, unfortunately there is no longer anyone who teaches either of those arts nearby. There was a Taiji Quan teacher in a town about 40 minutes away that I used to go to quite a bit but he has moved away. Thanks for the link!

Thanks for the advice! The "shut up and do" you mentioned is probably what I need to do, though it's a bit difficult with so many questions swirling in my mind. I do meditate, it's a very important part of my life. I also practice Tai Chi, but I have to admit not anywhere near the level or "devotion" I do with Hapkido. I know practically nothing about nei gong, but I have heard that it is similar to the breathing/moving exercises we do in hapkido. I don't know if that's true or not, only what I have heard. Perhaps they are nothing alike. The only energy work I am really familiar with is what is trained in hapkido, so I don't mix things like yoga into it (nothing against yoga, I just never could get into it). In my meditations I sometimes have insights that help me, but not often. I seem to be experiencing a particularly tumultuous period in my life where I am being forced to re-evaluate many things. It's an uncomfortable experience, but I realize (or at least tell myself) that progress/growth can be uncomfortable. Once again, thanks for the advice!

Thank you! I agree I need to find my tao or way. Now I just have to figure out how to do that.

Let me begin by apologizing for my ignorance. I am new here and know next to nothing about Taoism aside from what I have read on the Internet and a couple of books (The Complete Idiot's Guide to Taoism and The Truth of Tao by Alex Anatole, the latter of which left me completely baffled). Since I registered here I have been reading through a lot of the posts and I have seen topics ranging from Tarot to Qabalah to Ritual Magic(k) to Martial Arts and so on. My confusion probably stems from a childhood of very fundamentalist Christian teachings, then as an adult to Jodo Shinshu Buddhism. Both have very firm "boundaries", for lack of a better term, basically meaning "you have to believe this---you cannot do that". But I do not like that sort of thing since it makes me feel fenced in. I guess my main question would be along the line of "Is following Taoism akin to following your own tao (or Way)"? Or is there some set of guidelines that you "have to believe this--don't do that" sort of thing. I ask because I honestly want to learn, and when I am honest with myself I found that I don't like the "fenced in" feeling of so many religions/belief systems (at least the ones I am familiar with). I find myself at a month away from being 45 yrs old not really knowing where to turn. I have a wonderful wife and 3 sons, I am a lucky man... but I feel something is missing spiritually if that makes any sense.

I just registered and wanted to introduce myself a bit... I have been interested in Taoism for quite some time but really don't know much about it. That's why I'm here, I'm very eager to learn. I've been Buddhist for 10 or so years (started with Chinese Pure Land, then Jodo Shinshu) but also interested in Taoism. Now, for whatever reason, I feel more and more drawn to Taoism which I find somewhat confusing since I know so little about it. I've had an ongoing problem that the doctors' (plural) treatments and pills have utterly failed to help me with so I started going to a health food store that happened to have a Chinese Traditional Medicine practitioner come once in a while to help people (I live in a small town). He was able to help me within a month of seeing him and doing as he said. I'm still not 100% but it's sure more than what the other doctors were able to achieve. This only strengthened my resolve to learn more about Taoism. Thanks for allowing me to introduce myself, and I hope to learn a lot!