I'm not sure about the according to Tao part but... the easiest way to have a new understanding of revenge is to remember non-dualism. We are not separated, every person is part of the energy that is connected to everyone else. To hate another is to hate yourself.
Control your own feelings by remembering the big picture and grasp the concept that we are all part of the same energy. Remember how many millions of people are in the world. The actions of a few toward you should feel less now. Visualize yourself a mile above the earth looking back down on your situation.
If we are here to learn, find a lesson in the situation and call that the positive score for your soul and realize that the person who caused the situation has less power to make you mad.
