Goldleaf

Energy loss is minimal if the union is done in a loving way...whether oral or vaginal

I forgot to lock my android phone while Whatsapp was on. Ended up sending a message to my dad, which looked like a bunch a braille, plus a gif, which had bright cartoon characters pat each other on the back and saying "I got your back bro". Cracked me up so hard

Well what you say is true of everything in life - there are pretenders and phonies. But at least this forum is a place where people write because they care. ANd not just to impress others or boost ego.

2018 update! I moved house, still had shaking feelings in spite of having a comfortable mattress and even a leather couch squeezed into my tiny room. At the end of my teather, my dad casually recommended an Intuitive Healer who had some success with. I made a booking with her, she then told me that I was having these symptoms because of an exhausted adrenal system and damaged nerves, and gave me a two fold solution, which I am greatly siomplifying here: 1. Remove wheat, sugar and caffeeine from my diet. She said after doing a "reading" that eating wheat was damaging my nerves, and the other two were of course draining my adrenals even more. Also with diet, she suggested eating more vegetables, meat and avoiding such things as rice as she claimed rice (and pasta) were basically filler, with small amounts of nutrtiion only. She said to replace the rice with potatoes and sweet potatoes, as my weight was low, and also to eat four meals a day to help fuel my constantly intellectualising mind. 2. Join a meditation group and get proper teachings in how to meditate over say a week, and then spend regular timne there in exchange for say, doing some dishes, etc., to help quieten and ultimately still my crazy mind. She also emphazized a thing called "the separated self", which I can't remember exactly what it is, but basically what it means is that the mind will do what it can to bring you back to a place of fear because that's what makes it feel comfortable and avoids your real, true self from coming through. After this, I had some good sleeps and was really enjoying life and even managed to meditate, even though I didn't follow through with the meditation course as Christmas was approaching. I flirted with girls effortlessly and gained about 5 kilos!! (12 pounds). **(NOTE:: Do not let yourself be distracted by girls. Make your life, your focus, first. Girls may be wonderful beings who want to spend time with you, but if you focus on them instead of your life, not only will you waste your life but girls will lose respect for you over time)*** But then, as she had warned me, the effect of the healing/ clearing wore off, and my mind returned, and although I didn't have BAD sleeps anymore, I didn't feel as nourished by sleep as normal, and I lost weight. Part 2 Back to drawing bed with bed combinations. I became methodical to rule out exactly what helped and what didn't. AT one stage, I even purchased cushions that were comfortable from a coffee shop, through the suppllier!! But although they were comfortable initially they were too soft for my skinny frame. I decided to risk it on a bamboo bed advertised on Gumtree. Bamboo bed didn't work So I added my Belgian Latex mattress topper to it, and voila... I had the best sleep I have ever had in ages. I felt alive again!! I chatted with people warmly and they chatted back!! Anyway, my advice to you is don't be afraid to experiment with what works best. From my experience, a combination of a firm mattress and of course a sturdy bed frame, plus a soft layer on top (hard and soft, yin and yang!), works well. I read one guy who just did the following: Its by a man called "wongaga" and its a huge mattress thread written by people here in Australia - http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/archive/1694383 I will put this post in another thread called" mega-sleeps and super-health, yeah!" (will link shortly) Hope to give more advice to anyone out there suffering from poor sleeps or want to improve their sleep a bit more. Waking feeling fresh and energized is so important to a productive life Cheers! Gl

Westerna, I'm pretty much exactly like you. I even used to leave my studies til the last minute and still get a passing grade because of my intelligence. (ANd then wish I hadn't, so I could get an A!) In some ways it is a curse, you see the shallowness in things (besides creative / spontaneous things like music / nature / art), but have you ever considered it as a blessing? Because it might lead you to search for something more in life, to feel something deeper. Maybe feeling dead is what will lead you to actually feel truly alive. Also keep in mind that we are all learners on the journey of life, we are all clueless! Some are just better at pretending than others!! As said by the wonderful folks above, destimulating can be great. Do you know how to stop thinking at willl? Relaxing your mind will not only help you enjoy simple things, but also give you powerful benefits from your daily meditation / chi kung practice which will help you stay energised and fresh for your work, to support your beautiful parents who spend so much of their life to raise you into this world Also, plant a carrot, get a carrot, have you heard this phrase?? Short-term gratification is fleeting, whereas when you take your time to invest in something, sure, the rewards won't come immediately, but when they do, they will be immense. Like planting a carrot will give you a whole crop of carrot plants. You just need the discipline to water it and let it grow. You will find work again. Maybe if not in an ideal field, what about using your creativity and intelligence to learn say, a counselling course and become a counsellor? (They earn just as much a psychiatrist per year). I'd bet good money you'd be good at this, and you'd also be able to use your mind in some creative ways, to develop new stratgies for helping your clients heal themsleves. Also do you know how good it feels to help people improve themselves? I helpd a disabled person withdraw money a month ago, and I was blissed out and humbled for the whole morning. Just remember to have that disciple and persistence so once you start something you damn well finish it and reap the rewards and it will get easier from there. Best wishes.

Great books here, I will make a list and then plunder my local library! I'm not sure if its been added but my current readings: Awaken the Giant within - Tony Robbins. Great book on empowering yourself to take charge of your life. I'm paraphrasing here but he says-"...every day, make one tough decision and one easy decision. Flex your decision-making muscles"! Lee Child- Echo Burning. Just finished it in two days. Anything by Lee Child is amazing. He craps all over any other action / thriller writer I have read. Cosmic Ordering in 7 Easy Steps - can't remember author. A bit like the Secret, using the universe as an infinte storehouse of abundance to manifest your sincerest wishes into reality using specific steps and mindset. But my question is: After you've got for what you wished, will that make you happy?? So I try to wish for broader things, like the ability to become more open-minded to things in my life that will bring me the greatest happiness. Just started it. Karl Pilkington - Idiot Abroad. Funny the first and second and third time. (But I liked the series better) MIndfulness 101 - Eric someone. I believe being relaxed in life gets you more rewards, and you perceive life differently. I am also on a mission to show others the benefits of health that relaxation gives, I"ve stopped eating gluten and sugar as well. Still struggling to go beyond my constant mind with this book but this is a good start once I can apply it. Once you master the skill you dn't forget it!!

As someone confronting feelings of powerlessness myself right now, Can I also add, This may have been a great opportunity to grow. Maybe powerlessness is ingrained a little in you, like a learned behaviour. Our brains are useful things but also, incredibly destructive. With the wonderful thing that is "school" we have all learned how to be "rote learners". B is pronounced "Bee". And we accept it. "B". Etc. But that is all rote, and not the real reality of life that we are then thrust into once we leave our parents nest and go into the world. So, there is a story which I will quote below There is a story of a man who loved parrots and wanted to raise special ones. So he bought three parrot eggs, and as they grew, he taught them music, physics, and mathematical formulas. When they were older, they could recite these formulas and quack Beethoven’s symphony perfectly. But one day the man died, and someone put them in a tree outside. They crawled up the branches, looking around their new home. Then they saw another parrot and said to him, “We know everything. We can recite this formula and that formula.” The other parrot saw a cat approaching and said, “Do you know how to fly?” “Of course we know how to fly. When pressure is created at the bottom of the wing, and there is low pressure at the top, we can fly.” He said, “No, not the formula—do you really know how to fly?” “But we know so much, what difference could it make?” “The one thing you don’t know you really do need to know, and because you don’t know that, all you know isn’t going to do you any good.” Heheh a good story for leaving our parents nest! Anyway, the point is I think most of us are actually learned how to be less useful in life, by our upbringing / school / culture. Very few cultures nowadays encourage their kids to ask deep questions/ explore nature as much as possible. I don't know what my point of all this is lol maybe someone can help me out. But I hope you see that you are truly like the matrix someone mentioned earlier -red pill or blue pill. -True self or rote learning self? I am going to work on some meditation /yoga / mindfulness to get to the bottom of my issues and see where that leads me for now.

Sorry to necro, but Brian I couldn't quite understand this quote of yours. Actually I find that I do the opposite. Intuitively it makes sense to take myself less seriously, but i'm having hard time applying it because hey, if I don't take myself and my life seriously, who will? Thanks in advance GL

This is so great to have these replies. Thanks everyone for sharing your two cents. I have also been reading a book by Tony Robbins that describes using leverage on yourself to change bad habits into good, and seeing what you wlil get if you change and will you get if you don't, to provide the motivation to change yourself. So this is what I want to use. Basically, if I can stop thoughts / go beyond the monkey mind during my chi kung, I will: have more productive day have more joy in simple things, like cup of tea! need less sleep = double productive day! have meaningful relationshiop have more stamina and therefore take up a new sport / be able to do more work and get more pay be able to write my book! In summary, I realised that I am living at probably 2% of my potential right now. ANd all it takes is a little effort, twice daily, to make a breakthrough, and finally get benefits from my chi kung, and finally start living at even just 50%, to finally start living period!! Hi Allinone, I do not understand this? I"m guessing you mean that by going out of myself, I might be able to short-circuit my monkey mind? Unfortunately my experience with doing such things is that my monkey mind just gets more active I'm not sure how attractiveness, relates to thought-stoppoing? This makes perfect sense to me (ego) and also no sense at all (merge with yuan qi)! Would you mind elaborating kindly? CHeers GL

The post is about sleep. I had moved, and was sleeping well, but now I am not again. I would just like some help to write clearly so that my tired self is both easy to understand and interesting to read. It will take you an hour to read and then edit, 1000words max. Thank you.

I cannot even view the images. But I can only say that I want to focus on the one thing I can change: promoting peace in the planet. We cannot change the world but we can change our own hearts, and maybe if enough hearts are changed, then humans would recognise their humanity. And it will happen.

Time for an update! So I have bought the Zinsser odour-sealing paint and finished painting just waiting for it to dry. I have also looked into healthy buildings, apparently there is even a syndrome called MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivities), I feel glad I am nowhere even near that, apparently everything even the clothes you wear can drastically affect your health if you have that. Here is the link if interested and there is a nice interactive house diagram in one of the links (halfway down the page): http://mcs-america.org/index_files/MCShousing.htm its quite fascinating. Just don't read it if you are the type that worries easily! IN any case I think in general with a strong immune system, regular room ventilation, and using natural-based paints and building materials you willl be fine and have a healthy nourishing house. Worth reading to improve the state of your living environment. I also constructed a blanket fort around my bed! It worked great for two days, I had awesome sleeps and full of energy after just two days! But then unfortunately, I started having not-the-best sleeps like before ,although at least they aren't as bad. So quick test question: how would you test whether the blanket fort or other structure you have built, succeeds in blocking odours? One way I found is to have a friend spray a natural air freshener in the room while you are inside the structure, and see if any smells come your way. I tried this, and still caught a faint whiff of smell after one min or so, so I know somehow the nasty odours are still getting through some gap somewhere So, even though I still am not where I wanna be, if I stand and look back right now, I have come a long way from when I originally started! Please remember this when you feel like you are struggling in a difficult self-improvement. MOre updates to come and I hope this thread will inspire others suffering too.

Thanks everyone for your kind words, I've tried to sleeping in the car now! Its getting cold outside at nights now but, i'd take almost anything over my bedroom now. So at the very least it will provide a temporary solution while I organise a move nad at the same time, work on the room using the wonderful esealant products some of you of have kindly suggested. Will update.

Our relationship is not very open, we are different people with different,, err,, lifestyles, and that's as much as I will say about him in order to respect his privacy So no I haven't asked and if I do he will probably see it as defensive since its coming from me, the unhealthy bedroom guy...

I can't help but add, I feel frustrated that in the year 2017, and our advanced technology, we still don't put people first. I have been given the all-clear by the Doctor so I'm pretty sure its not me, and at 35 years old I don't feel too weak.. Houses should be built now which are healthy, nourishing, natural. Not concrete deathtraps built to save a few bucks, but which KILL the occupants in the process!! Why do we not look after our fellow human in our creations?

Dear Cheya and Brian, Thank you both so much for your prompt and generous replies. I even learnt some new things I didn't expect to about improving my living environment! { I"ve also never heard of Baubologie - just thought that was the science of Christmas decorating )} My flatmate owns this house, I think he suffers too I heaer him sneezing and coughing violently sometimes, but for privacy reasons I won't go into why I don't think he accepts that this house is a bit of a deathtrap. I basically haven't saved enough to move yet. If I have I would in a heartbeat. I am student, and will need to save for another 2months at least to have enough to pay bond and 4 weeks rent up front. Yes there are some great sites and I have the tech-savvy to find them, so I will, thanks Cheya. Given that many here have the sensitivity and are health-oriented, I am glad I mentioned it here and hope this post will be useful to future sufferers. { Once I rename it }

Thanks again to everyone who offered some positive and/or kindness ) I have an update. I went to the doctor and had blood tests and even stool test and a overnight sleep monitoring, and besides some low blood iron {dr advised that I should eat more red meat – fair enough}, all results came back as normal or close to it. So recently, I was near a sheet that is hanging over the wall {I hope I mentioned that the house is built on concrete blocks – they are painted in the rooms ofc}. I noticed a really opressive choking "dusty" smell coming from the sheet. So I decided to take all the sheets off and have been washing them yesterday and- today . While the room was "uncovered", I had some violent coughing fits and the worst sleep I have had in ages last night, kept waking up coughing deeply. The point is, it is definitely the wall, either the concrete or the paint itself. Now I know I am not hypochondriac. As I said I have sleept well in other houses perfectly fine. But I am sensitive. I see that as a strength thoughm, not a weakness. Anyway, I would like to either paint the walls with something that is AIR TIGHT and /or find a material that can be used to cover the walls in an air tight way. preferably neither option is too expensive and I would like to use natural products where possible. I am wondering if anyone has tried such things or knows of such things?? Surely there are air tight products out there? I mean if I have to I will buy plastic sheets but they are expensive and possibly noisyu with air flow. Or some other oition, which I am willing to listen to all ideas right now, no matter how silly. Because this house is fucking killing me and it needs to end.

I also just made a tea, then forgot that I had added the tea bag and went back to do it again!! This in TCM means kidney yang dieficiency, right?? Is that serious?

No my room hasn't been wet but that's good perpection BriAN thanks. Been in hotel the last week and went to get what I thought were sleep masks with filters but turns out they're just masks for sleep apnea ovewreight people. Anyway running out of money now so i'm back home and back at square one. Will just have to clean and cover every friggin inch of this room and if that doesn't work I'll move overseas lol. Cause I also get shaking in my heart and dizzy when I get out of the bed in the morning now. LIke I have to steady myself or else I will fall when I get up lol. Anyway, I just thought i'd share this in the hope that someone out there who has maybe gone through something similar would kindly share. It feels like a really strong reaction I am having to some substance in the room. I have even tried wearing and sleeping with a basic air filter mask on my face but no difference.

Good idea, thanks Brian. I've had nose bleeds and coughing blood in past but it was only brief and went away whereas now its still there been 3 hours since I woke. These are all my symptoms. My gfamilly don't share much unfortunately and I don't want to impose on friends. I will still in a hotel if I have too though for nights. Edit- leg pains occur when I really stretch myself like right now my family member is staying and she wants me to show here around town every day and walk to breaking point lol.

If your point is that God can't stop all bad things from happening, granted, fair point. I just want someone to understand,withouth playing a mini violin for myslef, how continuous nights of horrible sleep, even though i'm doing my god-damn best in my life right now nad really want to make things work,- would make me questioin God. I don't expect that i f I do good things i'll simply get a silver platter either...but if almost everyone else can have decent sleep why the frig can't I??

I went to Dr a month ago and checked out fine even got blood tests for allergies and no allergies to the basic ones he tested. I also cough up blood in the morning last two mornings now, even though my daily life is still moderateand health-focussed but not obsessed. Can someone please advise? Normally I belive in fixing your own problems that you create but right now I can't even think straight. I mean am I being punished for something or what? It is so hard to find resilience and remain calm when I feel and look as ugly as ghoul. Lol just noticed my nose bleeding as welll after standing up.

How can I NOT try everything when I deserately want to find a method that woroks Thanks for sharing, but have you ever tried giving service while so tired and exhausted that your leg hamstrings feel that they will snap at any moment? Your eyes are bloodshot and you cannot stand I wake the next day and all my legs muscles feel torn and Not in a good way. I wish for death often. Sleep is fundamental is it not?.

THank you all so much for sharing your views. I will comment on some shortly. This thread will hopefully help others who suffere from bad sleeps in future. In fact, {and I could be wrong} , I don't believe my problem lies in my state of mind, and I have forgiven myself all my past mistakes and honestly only belive in making effort in the things that have nasty effect. But when you don't know what it is, you have no chice but to try every angle. I still give myself all day until I feel sometimes I can barely walk by the end of the day and my hamstrings feel like they are about to snap. I can get to sleep easily and still dream but as I said wake with painful diarrehoea and a deep cough. Thing is, I have had good sleeps in the past here, where I only needed 6 hours sleep, had deep dreams, woke with a raging boner and ready to conquer the day. Which means something seems to have changed in the envirnoment, either the walls of floor or windows or paint I don't know. Also, I would like to delve deeply into this, from all angles. I want to understand the thorough, clear way to have an optimum sleep so that I can help others do the same in future. So with this in mind if some don't mind sharing some subtle changes that you made {either physical mental or emotional} that gave you wonderful sleeps. Soon I will write another post which condenses this thread and other threads into some of the most common and effective techniques to at least give a shotgun approach for those not sleeping well. And also some weird questions: I bought an old'-school gas mask recently to combat what I think is the substance in the room that I am reacting to but it was too hot to wear and sleep in {go t a refund}. Does anyone know or has tried a gas mask that could be used comfortable for sleeping in? Is there any cheap method of doing allergy testing for specifuic substances? I.e any way to buy the products somewhere cheaply? I have found some on ebay but they are just for dog and cat hair / hay fever, etc. Regards Gl

Great, thank you for sharing this Michael. I understand the wisdom in this, but my faith is slowly being eroded by continuous nights of not just unrestful sleep but waking worse than the night before. Even torturers would relent this !! So I hope you can at least understand why I feel like questioning God. Neither do I see God as mr-fix-it. I have to put the work in. But I have prayed from the depths of my soul many times to help my at least find a solution, and none has become clear. And honestly the more I ask, the less understood I feel. That is why I feel alone, feari or not.