alect

I feel like I know tulku for some reason.

Abandon control man. Seriously, shit will drive you CRAZY. The best way to regulate Qi flow is to do some MCO every once and awhile and keep your gates clean and open.

Keep in mind that the body needs some of the specialized functions your body performs in sleep. Advanced practitioners can be said to mimic these in meditation; but that takes about the same amount of time it takes to sleep. So why not just sleep? But since you have insomnia that makes sense. Just lay on your back and do body scanning maybe. Try to be completely still. I just completed my first 8 hour meditation this weekend laying down and managing to still my breathing so much that I was taking a breath once maybe every two minutes.

I do these things sometime . It's very fun but I find that it costs me a lot of energy and I usually feel drained and somewhat kooky afterwards. I will meditate for a little bit, or sometimes pray my way there. Sometimes I even get times like this in my dreams. The best thing is what I can most properly describe as a karmic or spiritual force that comes to wrap me in its love and warmth. It's almost like a entity that communicates with me outside of words or even physical language. I can call about it at times, but I'm pretty sure it spends some sort of reserve spiritual energy so I have to save it for when I really need it.

As I replied to manitou, I have done quite a bit of mediation that, at times, has actually led me to that "dream-like existence," you have described. That's a feeling that comes and goes for me and it can be alarming, but I assume it requires great practice to reach a stage where you are always inside of that space; even so, would one want to be? I can't say I know what being one with the Tao means, though I'm sure one who practices so extensively must be quite auspicious. I simply want to ease my suffering and avoid becoming permanently damaged and scarred as much as some of the people I have seen in the world. But that attitude in itself is somewhat judgmental and negative. I guess it depends on what you want. Which leads me to be grateful for your advice regarding, "wu-wei towards others." I have tendency to want people to accept me in the ways I accept them. I really like people, and love them for who they are much of the time, though I do face resentment and other unkind feelings at times. I find positive people, whether they are relaxed or tense, happy or sad tend to be best for me. As long as they make a point to be positive and try their best to be kind. Thank you for the post

I actually have meditated everyday for quite some time. At least for thirty minutes but I've started going into 4 hour cycles. Sitting, laying, and standing meditation, several different kinds.

This was very comforting and sensical advice. Even today after praying on self acceptance and asking myself more questions I feel quite good. Also a little frustrated.

I actually looked up some zhan zhuang today and did some. It felt really quite good and taught me how to stand more naturally. I also can get away with doing some of it at work when standing behind the counter.

A lot of this has been nice to read. I will reply to some now. Thanks everyone.

I am 19 years old. This has been a very difficult period for me. If you've viewed my other posts, you'd see that spiritually it has been trying, energetically difficult, socially awkward, and karmically bizarre. My mind has a tendency to race, I have difficulty relaxing around people, and I feel unsure about my future at times. Though I have great trust it will all be ok no matter what, I'm frustrated. I find myself striving for the Tao. Striving to relax. If I just don't try at all, I end up tensing up and losing any ground I made inside of myself. I want to go with the flow, but whenever I do, I get excited. When I have clarity, it sometimes scares me and I feel afraid unless I'm alone and in seclusion. It's obvious on an intellectual level just by reading this back that I have obviously created this pattern for myself, in many ways. But there are other insights I've gained from my meditation that show me it's part of my nature from childhood. Eh, I don't know. Basically, I'll get in loops. Sometimes I'm obsessed with my body, and it drives me crazy. Sometimes my mind is like an obnoxiously loud radio station. I get overwhelmingly emotional at work sometimes and have to find a place shed a few tears or throw a few punches. Do I just ride it out? I get worried that there might be something wrong with me, with the mind racing and some of the mania (as I've described in other topics.) I enjoy doing Qi Gong and meditating and doing spiritual practice. In fact, I do really well. I have great sensations and experiences in all of them. I find that when I try to carry those feelings and parts of myself into the world with me, they will abandon me or I will scare them away. Overall, I'm asking for some words of solace or encouragement from older Bums. Is there such thing as too little ego? Should I strive for more? Is there such thing as a middle ground? Am I fool for asking these questions on a forum? Thanks!

Again you have all helped very much. I have tried many of these techniques. On many levels it was also an emotional thing and attachment to something that is difficult to describe.

Thank you all! I will try the joints technique and look into Tai Chi. Also, practicing Qi gong and martial arts as slowly as possible helps. What are good centering techniques?

How does one move and remain still at the same time? I find it difficult to move gracefully at times. I want to learn how to be relaxed and still moving. I understand that there is some tension required to, you know, move. Any advice, visualizations, practices, etc? EDIT: Also, what are effective centering techniques?

Relax and have fun. There's a point where I'd agree with you. You'd to live alone in the mountains to do that. To reach "true emptiness." To become enlightened, a pure being lacking in desire. Many humans are born without the capacity to reach a that place. Most of us just struggle to be comfortable in our skins in the first place. Many people who strive for such power go through immense amounts self-imposed suck to gain an inch of ground. Simply put; transcendence of suffering and desire by charging straight into them. If it were true that Godly feats were possible to the majority of us through dedication and personal practice, the whole world would be full of messiahs. I doubt that we as a species hold enough karmic power or weight to even be able to sustain that kind of amount of universal truth. We are not Gods. In fact, some Taoists in the ancient days were sad to admit their insights that we may be even lower in the "natural/empty/truth scale" than the animals of the earth. In my opinion, based on frequent observance and rumination: humans are communal creatures. We like being active. We are, by nature industrious. We have minds that are separate from the ordinary, based on what we can see. We talk, walk, make things. So tell me, are you Enlightened? Really, all you do need is love. You've got to love yourself. It's not even about the power. It's about just trying to be content. Not transcending or descending anything. I think, for the layman, the more you give up on placing an affectation to you who truly are, or defying your "Essential nature" the insights you strive for will suddenly appear in beautiful, simple form. Striving for enlightenment, in a lot ways, can be a way of trying to shape the world to the way you want to see it. But you are one bit of nothing. You will only be empty when you can accept that you are full; full of shit.

Thank you guys, I took many of your suggestions and they have helped in ways.