Small Fur

Lerner, that's beautiful- the hammocks and terrariums! Yes, do start. And remember to, that 'where there is a will, there is a way'. You could always reconfigure parts of your life to make this dream possible- be these increasing your skills as you mention, or moving your family to the island and continuing your steady job/profession while developing the connections and place for your hobbies. Be creative and resourceful- think outside of the box. You can be responsible while not being traditional. And you can be grounded while pursuing your dreams along together. Share this with your family, brain storm together, and support each other in making your best possible selves in life together.

Lerner- what are you waiting for then? Have integrity, be true to yourself and honor yourself by moving forth with this. Anything less compromises the integrity of your person, so by extension your path. If you have the courage to fulfill this, then you will move into the next phase of your life along its rightful path. Maybe it will be as beautiful as you dream or maybe not, but you can be assured being less than whole in each step of your life if you don't take the complete steps in each moment to manifest your personal truths. So do it now and fearlessly!

Inherent in this question is a misunderstanding of what is, as you have objectified these states into ideas and not realized their essence. That you want to reduce them to concepts, that you want to separate them apart from their essence and apart from each other, that you even think you must pick between them suggests that you have not experienced their actuality. What most tend to think of as love are primarily mundane states of physiology and psychology- the feeling of awe or happiness, the rush of dopamine or release of oxytocin, a strong sense of tenderness or affection toward something or someone, or the quality of being romantically enamored; just to name a few. And what most people tend to believe and call truth are often the mundane facts that they think they can judge and ascertain- usually an experience they are certain they had, a scientific proof, or something which the collective can agree upon, if nothing else than by common sense, such as ‘you are now reading this on a computer screen’, etc.,. But on the level at which I think you mean to ask this question (as in at the existential or spiritual or utmost level) truth and love do not exist in these relative, subjective, transient and fragmented ways as most tend to perceive. Both of these states are transcendent and not reliant on mind, body, psychology, or even the tangibility of substance. That they may affect or pass through a concrete system, is secondary to their fundamental quality. In a manner of speaking, until you have awakened deeply enough and reconnected to your soul (or yuan shen) and until your soul begins to converge with its Source (or the unnamable Tao), then truth has not been realized and so neither has the truth of love. You can try to rationalize the mundane state by asking which is more “practical” but the actuality is that if you are “asleep and more loving” than your ‘sleep’ makes you untruthful and by extension then, your love contains falsity or is false (since love is a non-fagemented and non-partial state). Conversely, if you are “more awake and bitter” than you have not come deeply enough into truth to actually love. You can also try to place a value on either state- such as to ask about their relative importance to one another, but these states exist beyond your value, beyond your power to actually choose. They are states that are omnipresent and omnipotent, and either you recognize them or you don’t, and therefore either you yourself are that unfearful, non-desirous, constant of love in truth or you are not.

First of all, being without thought is not a skill. As in, its not something you acquire, but rather a way that you release. It is a process without strife that in still-action is itself non-acquisiton. Thus the motivations of psychological desire that you describe (such as self-enjoyment, making romantic social connections, etc.,) will not get you there. In addition, your idea that this internal quietude will bring you the kind of pleasure you speak of is misguided. Because in order to become this state, you must and will transform your theoretical and experiential notions of existence. These mundane pleasures you speak of, once transformed in the alchemy of silence, will not effect you in the common, daily (and often trite) ways that most humans experience pleasure. In this way, these ‘enhanced life pleasures’ that you think could come from such transformation are nil and not applicable. This question seems also to imply that you are in a hurry to by-pass the value and necessity of deeper personal transformation in order to achieve a kind of supposed reward. And while you are right that it need not take decades or life times- and in fact, it need not take months, days or even minutes!- the fact of the matter remains that the perspective in desire for a quick-fix solution is itself the becoming of the very long path that you so summarily reject. So, fundamentally and thus far, your own orientation to this concept is integral to the obstacle that you’ve created. Contrary to majority experience of even long-time meditators and teachers, it is wholly possible to be without even a trace of mental thought, chatter or its associated movements. I know this because it is something I both teach and transmit and also know others who have such experience and capacity in silence. As you have found, there are many practices to absolute stillness. And, I can tell you that the most direct method is found very simply in these three keys: -the quality of your sincerity -the state of absolute fearlessness -and the willingness for Truth All other guidance- such as subtle attunements of the system, be these through initiation, ritual or practices, and especially those done in the presence of and with the guidance of an enlightened teacher; can and do aid the process exponentially and deeply. But ultimately the passage can only be traversed in yourself. And in this, your state must itself, be truthful so as to know truth. Do not dismiss these three keys. They are the fundamental requisites necessary for passage though your own system to a more profound consciousness.

I will also add for clarification that empathy exists on a spectrum. For the common perhaps disinterested person, the thought of empathy may seem like a big notion, something to strive for or a noble way outside of themselves. For the more tender hearted person in the mundane, it may lead to more caring actions and fields of practice in human or animal related focused fields, for example. As it progresses beyond concept or basic sense, some of these individuals may feel that they are “sensitive” and self-label and be labeled as such by others; some of these individuals may describe feeling overwhelmed and as thus tend towards conditions like introversion or describe feeling ‘drained’ or ‘sick’ from their proximity to others. As an individual begins to cross realms, they may develop empathy as a psychic ability, which many would regard to be quite remarkable. But to be psychic without deep knowledge, clarity or wisdom is simply to be an individual with increased access to the ‘ten thousand things’ from which to become more dazzled by and lost in. In that way being “psychic” often leads people to become convoluted in a type of an advanced parlour trick, so to speak- they may brag to friends or family by talking about their fantastical experiences, they may play around with the limits of their abilities and surprise other's by revealing that they know hidden information, or thoughtlessly affect others perceptions so to alter another’s life by giving ‘readings’ and offer information without regard to necessity, motivation or consequence. Power is seductive to most. The ego is often lead by mindless desire. What hyper-empathy has potential to become is far deeper and greater than any of these conditions. In my experience, it is a sacred gift. And this is in part why the sages or Taoists guard such knowledge. I will also note that in general, everyone playing around with ‘advanced’ Taoist or metaphysical techniques, practices, and exercises without deep understanding and without the patience and wisdom to lay out the necessary foundations for true cultivation, are the people who crave the power of the mystical but who lack the sincerity, patience and discipline to achieve it; and as such many then begin to describe becoming 'mysteriously' sick and often experience adverse effects from their actions. The principles that govern the more subtle 'psychic' realms are different but not apart from the mundane. If you act without regard and mindfulness, if you act without substantive conscientious integrity, then you are simply playing around with another’s personal or private information and this applies whether you obtain that information by being the NSA or by being a psychic snoop. So instead of looking outside yourself for what this could be, ask yourself what it is you want it to become. Look inward and take honest assessment of who you are and who you want to be in relation to all things. If such skills are to you just psychic phenomena, then you are not acting from within the sacred.

Ultimately, hyper-empathy is the experiential knowledge of unity. It can be a profoundly deeply and intimate way of relating. I could guide you through unique and individualized steps for the personal cultivation of such, but what I encourage you to do first is to clarify your motivations for wanting to further develop this skill. Be conscientious of what has informed your person to even begin experiencing such states in the first place. Above all, be honest in the depths of your self-reflection. When the skill appears difficult to develop then it is because there is a mal-alignment between yourself and the natural principles that allow for such intimate insight. As someone who is highly developed in this work and lives this state of being, I want to share with you a few things to consider… -in the initial stages of such experience, it can seem startling if not alluring. but remember that to know another deeply is a sacred trust. are you worthy of that sacred trust? -what may seem like an exciting manifestation from within yourself, is a way of knowing that could easily frighten another (many people wish not to be seen, and could see your knowing as a violation of their boundaries, or a window into their shame or secrets, or a reflection of themselves they wish not to know, etc). at a mundane level, these gifts may seem just magical. but at a higher level, these same gifts can put you apart from others, because it changes your orientation to existence in far and deep ways that are outside the bounds of most conscious human relating. -in addition, what you find you know in another might be terribly painful for you and to you. so how willing are you to know their truth? what if their truth is your bane, your hurt, your own death? can you bear to know the depths of others without judgement, without hatred, without fear? can you go further than that and love unconditionally? can you transcend your ideas of yourself, your own values and notions to experience others and life as it truly exists? -so, in advanced development of this gift, it is not just empathy that is required, but wisdom and compassion. what you apply it to and how you do so, is up to you. but without the wisdom and love to guide your insight, then your gift is that same as any other person with great power who convolutes themselves in the mirage of a fragmented world. I remember too, going through these initial experiences in my own way as you… being able to diagnose people’s stages of cancer, being able to describe the condition of someone’s bones whom I didn’t know, being able to read and feel people’s thoughts and emotions as if they were my own. These questions I ask you are among some the same ones I asked myself at that time. And in asking myself sincerely and meditating upon these powers deeply, I found truthfulness that allowed for a very profound development. It is possible to have incredibly vast and deep connections to the whole of existence, but I also can tell you, that in it there is great irony… to be one is to be a part of all… and to be a part of all, is to be a part of nothing in particular. It is a mystic path and how far you travel depends on you. So, first and foremost, be clear in your intention.

Yes, one can will without desire. The pulse of existence does not originate from desire. It is desire that convolutes, obscures and augments will. Will itself exists as an essence from within our spirit and the attunement of our spirit to that which is transcendent of ‘self’ allows for truthful movement free of mundane and conditioned states, such as those found in desire.

Since Taoist medicine and theory are curiosities to this board- both in that people discuss so much of it without knowledge of its fundamentals and because it seems many may also truly have interest to know, I am replying to this thread to give a general overview of the concept of "Heart" 心. According to the theories of Taoist medicine, “heart” refers to the physiological organ manifestation formed from the phase of essences in fire (often mis-refered to as an "element"), and all the spiritual, physical, and energetic constructs that it is associated. So, “heart” is not necessarily one thing. And when reading Taoist health manuals or texts, it is valuable to understand what aspects or qualities of heart and its relationships they are referencing, in order to be specific and not just general. It would be a very long conversation to address ‘what is heart’, so I provide only a vey brief and introductory overview, with minimal or no explanation to its historical development, meaning, value, or application: Question #1: What is “heart”? Answer: (see below) BASIC STATE The name of the heart in Chinese medicine is 心 or Xīn Also known as: The Emperor Fire organ- which is fundamentally an essence that becomes the physical element we witness Yin organ- of which there are five in total Zang organ- also known as a “hollow organ” of which there are five in total Emotion: Joy Flavor: Bitter Sound: Laughter Governs: circulation, blood vessels, mind Fluid: sweat Orifice: tip of tongue Houses the spirit: shen - a word that means all of the following: spirit, soul, light, intellect, mind, consciousness (Note: there are five "little shens"- the spirits, and one "great shen"- the soul, of which the four other little shens reside in other yin organs not discussed here) Astrological placement: Hours: 11am- 1pm Animal: ma- or horse Season: summer Direction: south Tidal hexagram: 44- union Lunar month- June Agricultural segment of year: mangzhong or planting of the bearded grain, and xia zhi or summer solstice Waterway: Ji River What does this actually all mean and how does one apply these concepts? It is too much to discuss on a forum post, especially without greater guidance, but I write it out to give a general sense overview of reference. Its details will not seem significant unless you are a serious student, scholar or practitioner who wishes to delve deeply into experiential understanding of practice with some form of intellectual guidance. But I will say that understanding these foundations will help you better realize when to practice, how, what is being affected as well as to assess health and diagnosis pathology so you can more specifically use qi in its deepest and subtle ways to heal, tonify and purify the body as an entire ecological system related to all forms and realities across time and dimension. RELATIONSHIPS The heart works in consort with three other fire organs: pericardium- the heart protector small intestine- the heart clarifier triple burner- an aetheric organ associated with regulating the three jiaos. Controller of- metal Mother- of earth Child- of wood Controlled by- water Organ Pair: Small Intestine Confirmation and Complete circuit: Shao Yin (Heart-Kidney axis) Entry Point: HT 1 Exit Point: HT 9 Source Point: HT 4 Why does this matter? Because everything you do to the heart affects another organ, meridian, energetic and subtle body condition, including your spirit and soul, and its relationships. Question #2: What is meant by- “Movement produces Yang-Qi. Stillness produces Yin-QI. The yang breath descends from the Heart or the brain and the yin breath rises upwards from the kidneys.” Answer: Translation- "Movement which is a state of yang, generates and perpetuates more yang energy. Stillness which is the state of yin, generates and perpetuates more yin energy. The heavenly (because yang here refers to the heavens) energy through breath descends from the energetic body of the heart (not only the physicality of heart), which is also governer of the mind/intellect, and the earthly (because yin here refers to the earth) energy through breath rises upwards from the soles of the feet beginning at KD1 or "Bubbling Spring"which is the entry point of energy for the kidney channel (the complete circuit to the heart channel found in Shao Yin) and is thus governed the physical and energetic body of the Kidney organ. Please note a couple things here: a] man is considered to be the axis between heaven in earth in Taoist health theory. So in this act of qi gong, you are you are cultivating the energies between the two poles through your vessel. b] yang and yin are used in numerous and diverse ways across ancient and modern texts and it is important to be able to learn to distinguish- if one is to be precise, what aspects or qualities and in what context the energies are being referenced (if the writer or teacher even knows- which I find most do not know so do not distinguish) are being discussed, so that you understand proper cultivation technique and how energy is being transferred and utilized (this will also prevent you from getting sick by a practice or form, which I experience happens for a lot of students and people on this forum who do not have a clear understanding of these foundations). In advanced alchemical techniques, being able to understand and feel the diverse subtleties of various yin and yang energies are important, because contrary to how it is generally discussed, these are not only single energies). I do want to emphasis that as a teacher, I feel the foundation of any practice you choose must be founded in sincerity and understood in your system beyond any theory. (Interestingly and to note, truthfulness and sincerity are both qualities and states that are actually associated with and found in the heart in Chinese medicine) And while I agree with other posters that it is not necessary to have a theoretical background in these matters for general practice, I think it is very important not dismiss the profound wisdom and knowledge imparted by the ancients through the Classics and other medical and spiritual tomes, which in truthfulness have helped lead to the awakening, immortality and enlightenment of a great many souls. If by these few brief insights into what comprises the idea of 'heart' and in such a small translation you recognize the sophistication and nuance of what is being actually and potentially discussed in just one sentence, imagine how radically different your reading and understanding of an entire paragraph, let alone entire book of any tai chi, qi gong, Toaist or Chinese medicine text would be if you had such knowledge! Thus, having a theoretical background in Taoist medicine and its applications can make a profound difference in the rate of recognition, progress and self-guidance in experience and most importantly, refinement and nuance of your practice, especially when consulting the (seemingly) poetic works of sacred and esoteric texts for transcendent insight. They are truly remarkable and astonishing- and I say this as someone who has entered through deep passages in profound understanding of the mundane and transcendent in both the formed and formless through experience both with and without such guidance.

Why do you want to focus on the mental screen? The mental screen is just that... a projection. You must drop the screen- do not become distracted by phenomena, by even essential shape or movement, these are still forms, projected forms. To see with the third eye isn't about 'looking' with eyes or the force of will, it is about correct placement of natural energies and correct integrity in intention. If you crave the powers of sight, it is unlikely you will see. And if that sight does happen amidst your cravings, there can only be more delusion. It is enough that people are deluded by all they see here in the mundane and can not understand. If you do not know what you ask for, then having more will only become a burden. There are a great many forces in this universe and there is safety in not knowing. And, there is also transcending the idea safety through Truthful understanding. Realize too, that sight-gift and enlightened understanding, are not necessarily the same thing. One can have transcendent consciousness without psychic phenomena. In the end, psychic knowledge is just another layer of illusion if not realized through purity and clarity. It can be an aid to enlightened understanding but it is itself, not enlightenment and it is not a necessity.

In fact all of these are true statements about the states, conditions, locations and even transcendent non-locations often experienced in different ways, at different levels by various awakened beings who have had profound experiences in nothingness. The reason it is all spoken of interchangably is because not only are they very subtly distinct from one another, but they are also deeply interrelated, and mutually infused conditions of spiritually transcendent absence. To re-cap specifically and simplify, all statements that you provided are foundational conditions and states of what is termed ‘emptiness’: Two main states or ‘planes’: the emptiness of substance- the potential from within nothing the emptiness of non-substance- absolute nothing from which the emptiness of substance comes to exist Two main conditions or perceptual orientations: the existence of nothing (ie. “non-self”) the existence of everything (ie “we are all one”) Two main qualities of timelessness: cessation- implying that there had been something that is no longer absoluteness- from which there never was and never will be, or from which there always was and always will be If you go through and look at all your intellectual confusions, you will see that all you wrote of falls into these basic understandings and experiences of emptiness. And they are all true. It is not possible to reconcile this with the mind. The mind cannot grasp “nothing” because it is, in general not designed to problem-solve various conditions of absence. In a way, to read all of these things is a bit misleading because it engages the very mechanism that hinders you from experiencing this state. There is only one passage of entry to this understanding and it is through the sound of silence in your own vessel…

Hi TaoGuy, I appreciate your post. It is nice to experience the transmission of other truly experienced teachers; thank you for sharing his gift. I am a bit amused… the sound the master speaks of is not to be confused with what is exactly audible, per se. Yes yes, its true that it can be heard, but that we can physically hear it is strictly symptomatic of the anatomy of the human vessel. The Truth in the sound that he speaks of originates from a place of silence and is part of a continuous perceptual experience to those who have meditated deeply enough into that silence to come into the consciousness of the nearly primordial and fundamentally essential state of sound. The sound does have a pitch you could say, but I would not describe it as high. Rather, it is like the continuity of a drone instrument, and much like he says, the singular amalgamation of all vibration in to one continuous stream, similar- as he points out, to that of a waterfall- which in fact, I do not feel could be described as necessarily 'high pitched'. The recognition of this sound is a truth that cannot be fragmented through intellectual knowledge nor even entirely physiologically sensed, though, as I say, our vessels do provide us the instrument from which to perceive it. The sound is a perceptual understanding that only becomes apparent and can be experienced through a purified state in total present awareness. May you sense these and those words beyond thought and sound, Mila

Pure qi is the singular universal force of energy from the undifferentiated taiji that in its fundamental division exhibits two primary states: yin and yang; and that through the essences of physical elements takes on infinite varieties of expression and display. The Yin expression of the One ki is often conceptualized as the feminine principle, cold, formed, dark, still and constricted. The Yang expression of the One ki is often conceptualized as the masculine principle, hot, ethereal, light, moving and expansive. Being that there are infinite formations of one essential qi, existence is capable of rendering its movement, expressions and states into a variety of forms for utility including storage and circulation in both creating illness and supporting health. In my practice, qi is the experience of all concretely tangible and also aetherically subtle expressions of one fundamental force that has taken on a variety of states across different times, spaces and dimensions. On a personal level, I work with it primarily through internal alchemy practices or nei dan, which are guided by stillness, space and pure intention. When working with students, among other things, I observe their various manifestations of qi and provide them with personally specific tools unique for their self-understanding so that they might come into the unity of balance appropriate to their constitutional experience.

In summary, yes, dreams are not only a perception of reality, they are actually a reality. And, reality is not real. To expound... The state of dreaming is the process of perceiving various dimensions of realities simultaneously interacting on a single plane, of which none of the realities are 'real'. This is also true of the 'awoken-dream' state which superficially appears to have a more singular and linear dimension of 'reality'. In the awoken state our consciousness's perceptual access is altered to a different frequency that operates on a similarly parralel plane of reality as in dream, but that makes things appear more finite or discrete . Thus, most are incapable of perceiving the various, simultaneous interacting dimensions in their daily wakeful life, though it is nonetheless fundamentally occuring, even if in a different configuration of time-space. However, all states of formed reality are actually qualities of mirage, so existentially speaking, there is essentially no difference between the types of illusions. And yet, the properties of each dimension of consciousness have different principles that govern specific effects, all of which are still palpably perceivable and appear to have different laws of tangibly perceived consequence. Thus, it is that dream states, like wakefulness, are also realities in effect. I realize this is a complex topic regarding dimensions of consciousness, dimensions of realities, their interactions and also their entire illusions as reality; but I hope this little summary of clarification helps illuminate not only the condition people are 'consciously' experiencing but also indirectly provides clarity to otherwise poetic seeming spiritual terminology that is too often misunderstood (ie. such as the concepts of reality and non-reality).

KongMing, While the fear that is discussed in this thread by others are largely psychological ones, yours is not only primal, but in terms of the psyche it is the core fear, and in this you experience a unique and substantive fear in the existential that few will ever come to in meditation. Thus, it is refreshing to come across a post such as yours. Your meditations are obviously done in such sincerity that you are now at the door of what is sometimes known as "the little death". And contrary to your belief or perceptions about what is highly advanced or what makes one an initiate, in the face of the Ultimate Truth, there is only the purity of one's honesty and heart to transcending the self. And thus, you have reach the first of an impasse. Along the meditative journey into awakening, there are often times many passages through 'death'. Indeed, the fear that comes at its precipice may be one of many along the spiritual journey of realizations, encounters and actual loss of what was thought to be known. The quality that blossoms from this death has a lot to do with the meditator... it is a very, very important moment and I encourage you to sit with a sincere and genuine teacher who has experientially made this passage and further. As for your initial question, you ask why this experience is. Integral to the path of awakening is the reorientation of your system to its knowledge, perception and experience of what is "existence". During meditation, your body became the vessel from which form could act as a conduit to the formless, but there is a threshold at the nexus of the formed and formless 'self'. And now you are here, at the wonderful threshold. As to your second question, not to be trite, but is it not the case that all fear the truth they *think* they seek? It is indeed why few ever see beyond illusions, let alone come to the potential of what transcends this. I understand too, that yours is a profound fear, and that is because you are at the precipice of either an aspect or totality of profound truth. How much you discover has to do with your courage... The cause and the cure then, are not separate things, but a single resolve. A light to you along your journey Mila

Hi- could someone post a link to the video in this thread for reference? Thank you.

Dear 4bsolute, The level of fear you have right now is completely destablizing and can be further harmful to this precipice or knowing that you are at. There is no necessary rush to understand these mysteries of the universe. Please don’t overwhelm yourself with questions about getting off the karmic wheel when you are still so deeply attached to it. The answer to methods of transcendence will reveal itself to you, naturally, and beyond a way in which words can provide, if you should come to that point of capacity and willingness to know. As for the blackness, there are many forms of darkness in the universe. The structure and substance of them become more apparent and nuanced when you pass the threshold of this fear. Understanding them is different than witnessing them. And, yes, the qualities of darkness become more obvious when you release any patterns of the mind. I know that experiencing this ‘place’ can feel like a type of existential crisis, because at a certain level it is. So if you choose to further explore this space: be conscious. If you have entirely made it through the initial threshold and are not just witnessing or sensing things at a distance, I find that from here on, very subtle intention is useful- it can guide, ground and stabilize you through the dark, seemingly ‘empty’ vastness, hence another reason to be clear in your integrity. It is important not to be lost in that infinite space: learn to physically root your corporeal body first. Initially, this may decelerate the experience, but as you self-cultivate and adjust, the experiences will be safer for your system, deeper, and you will have greater insight from them. The state of a higher consciousness necessary for wisdom requires equanimity. As for your fear of impermanency, I don’t want to elaborate on it further because the truth behind the matter- once you experience it to its core and not just sense it, can be very shattering. If you have seen it, then you know, and part of your path now, would be to find peace in that truth. If you have not felt the core of that truth and are just wandering in a suspended fear of formlessness, then pull back from these experiences and take time to ground yourself here, in this form, on earth. Whether in the formless or the formed, the answer is that you must find peace with the truth. And while embodied now, always take care of this vessel. It is the only vessel you have from which to know either the formed or the unformed. In the end, my personal suggestion is, don’t just play around with this information. Be really clear why you are allowing yourself into this knowledge. There are many planes of existence and infinite things to be known. If you are not clear why you are exploring this and its purpose in your life now, then don’t create a deluge of information and crisis. There are many things in the universe to be known, some of which are horrific to the human concept and contrary to its constructs, that aren’t entirely useful nor necessary for the practicality of your wellbeing now. If you continue this journey, walk a sacred path: have integrity, self-cultivate, be sincere, have equanimity.

RE: Does anyone else put effort into dissolving ones own personality? What are the last personal thoughts and feelings you have? Are they also about being alone, fear and dying? My answer to you is this: I had no fear, there was no ‘effort’. To fear this death or loss is the same as fearing the Truth. So long as you fear, you cannot Awaken. When one is sincere about knowing the Truth, no effort is necessary. It appears to me that this question is phrased based on a misconception about what it is to go through various passages of “death” which are often spoken of in a diversity of ways: the ‘little death’, the ‘dissolving of the ego’, the loss of the “I”. Let me distinguish first between ‘personality’ and ‘self-concept’ (eg. the ego, “I”). Your personality arises from your constitutional form- be these thought patterns, emotions, your physical structure or your essences and spirit. These can be altered over a life time, and necessarily so if you are interested in self-cultivation; but it is not imperative to entirely relieve yourself of your form in order to become Conscious. Yes, there are practices that can literally dissolve the physical form thereby relieving you of a ‘personality’ but so long as you remain embodied as a human, by the principle of physics in your body, you will manifest expressions that are unique in composition through your constitutional form. Whereas self-concepts are the ideas, socializations, and unconscious habitual patterns of thought, emotion and behavior that drive our actions. These self-conceptions are notions that often inform our personality, misguiding the pure nature of the person. It is important be clear about this. Becoming Awakened or Enlightened does not necessarily involve losing ones character- unless you are cultivating yourself to entirely dissolve all human form. Behavior or 'personality' motived from deluded self-perception is what leads to distorted actions and understandings that repeated over time, entrench the individual. It is the loss or death of the latter that is liberating. So this is what spiritual adepts are talking about when referring to your 'ego', or ‘personality’- also known as “one’s personal idea of 'who I am’”. Although it is certainly beneficial, as some have posted here, to reflect on one’s character, emotions and thoughts, ultimately it is not these endless self-reflections and contemplations that are the experience of Awakening. It is only through fearlessly and sincerely surrendering your mental and emotional attachments that you come into Conscious realization of the psychological constructions and obstructions that comprise most individual's perception of existence and one's sense of self. Shedding this is what creates the perceptual shift and it is not something you can think yourself out of, per se. Ultimately, this state is not just an intellectual understanding but an experience of realization through Conciousness. Going through this death or loss doesn’t mean you stop manifesting your form or ‘personality’ in the mundane, rather, it broadens and deepens ones existential perception of finite things, such as the self, the nature of formed things, and the very nature of existence itself. So, there are no romantic “last personal thoughts”, per se. The realization occurs rather spontaneously, it is as an inspiration and can happen in any given moment. The moment of realization itself is one without thought- it transcends thought. When you enter this state of consciousness, any thought you may have is changed, because you don’t personalize states of the mind and sensation, including emotional ones. The process of how one comes into this realization, and its manifestation is different for each individual. However, once this form of consciousness is embodied it is possible for actions to manifest without direct thought- and hence you could say, without a type of ‘personal volition’, but this doesn’t mean one becomes a passive agent (ie. a zombie, as some have suggested in earlier posts). Rather, one who is cultivated to the level of living in this effortless manifestation, is actually deeply engaged with the subtle and profound as it moves through their system. So the experience of existence is both finite and infinite at the same time. This is to clarify that from a place of Consciousness, action arises through the person taking a shape or tone as 'personality’, rather than that our ideas of our personality drive our action- the latter of which is the case for most humans. And yes, for some who experience a gradual Awakening, there can be various levels of fear, thought or concern about what it means to be alone or die. Depending on how deeply the perceptual shift occurred, and how embodied that understanding is, the residues of one’s “ego” can continue to be at odds with the greater existential consciousness or truth. Not all people who have experienced transcendent realizations stay Awakened. If one does experience fear after Awakening but stays Conscious as they meditate on these matters, the issues resolve themselves quite simply and you realize that those concerns are of the same resonance as the fear that futily kept you entrenched in your notion of what things are, or who you are, or what this life is. So, please reframe your understanding of what it means to be without a sense of self. It is generally not meant that your character dies, rather its the deluded self-concept that motivates your physiological personality that dies. As it appears you have given some sincere thought to the matter, I do want to make one side note about your phrasing and thought patterns: this idea of “effort” into dissolving the ego. So long as you approach this matter with “effort” -as in desire, and hence striving; you will unlikely experience the condition you are seeking. It is the very nature of desire or striving, motived by your sense of “I”, that keeps you entrenched. The reason it doesn’t work is because it is a closed system or loop motived by the very thing you think you are trying to rid. So the resolve to this issue is again, as I stated above: It is only through fearlessly and sincerely surrendering your mental and emotional attachments that you Awaken.

.

.

.

Quote: Still I see that some easily interchange ‘soul’ and ‘self’ ? Soul and persona are distinct yet interrelated. Self is the individuated construct of identification from which we make distinctions. Quote: Where did the other individual souls come from? On a subtle anatomical level, the other individual souls belong to other beings and aspects of them thread through one another. If you are asking cosmologically, about the origins of souls or the material substance of souls, I would need a little time to meditate on that. I have seen the material substance of souls, but it is hard to describe and I have not distinctly looked into its origins. Quote: This is interesting; “This pattern actually changes over the course of a lifetime,” would you elaborate on that? The soul evolves, develops, and lives, just as our bodies. In fact, the things we do in this life time affect our soul and vice versa. To go back to the tapestry analogy, a thread may become stained, a section of the piece may get lost, a new thread may we woven, etc.,. Thus, these changes are manifest in the soul, just as they are manifest in the body, the difference being that these manifestations have their own set of physics, as soul is composed of different substance the body and thus they interact with space time in according to their own 'laws' and properties. To clarify my usage of terminology: Self- the individuated construct of identification from which we make distinctions. Soul- an aspect of being comprised of various energetic imprints manifest in physical solar constellations and relating to a particular embodied persona. Persona- a physical manifestation from which we concretely perceive one another.

My experience is that the 'individual' soul is a collection of various energies from other souls that combine to make one particular pattern that an individual is most identified. This pattern actually changes over the course of a lifetime, not only at the demarcation of physical life and death, though there is a greater re-constitution of the energies at those points, as would be expected with any major existential event. So in this way our individuated self is actually a collection of many other selves. A more concrete way to think of it may be as a tapestry where many diverse threads form a single pattern that is connected to one specific owner (eg. your persona in this life time), and throughout your life threads may be added, lost or removed and become a part of a new tapestry (say when you have a child or merge with a lover). Hope that is helpful.

Why complicate the clarity of this insight with judgement or fears? To give witness without attachment to the manipulations of others is to be without sway inside of yourself. To be in this simplicity is to have peace.

Sure! There are a limited number of books published on Five Element theory, primarily because it is considered by some (but depends on which tradition of academic you inquire) to have originated from a shamanistic tradition. Prior to many of the core Chinese medical canons- such as the Huang Di Nei Jing 黃帝內經, or the Ling Shu Jing 靈樞經; what is now known as Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) looked much different. The Five Element system originates from an oral tradition and is transferred from that spirit (hence, another reason in my earlier suggestion to study this particular system in a dynamic environment from a trained practitioner and/or with other students and in nature.) So, part of the inherent tradition of 5E is to share interpersonally, allowing an organic evolution of its form. Therefore, few of the published material I have seen are noteworthy, primarily because the key qualities that make 5E so special (in my opinion) get lost to static theoretical conventions such as 'typology'. As for your request, my suggestion is to purchase medical grade texts. JR Worsley himself published a series available through the Tai Sophia Institute [TAI]. His set forms the core theoretical foundation, but as I have mentioned, this is a non-intellecutalized method of medicine, so much will be lost in the process of reading it. In addition, his series is very much geared towards the acupuncturist, so many references may appear obscure though they are integral to the system itself. For an excellent introduction that is less acupuncture specific, I highly suggest Lonny Jarrett's "Nourishing Destiny", also a graduate level medical text. On a side note, I do want to say that while 5E may appear as a typological system, we ourselves don't consider it in such a stock manner. In my opinion, typology is Western approach to doing character analysis in which one is assumed to fit a genericized label (which is to say, a highly intellectualized form of stereotyping- and by the way, I do hold a degree in Psychology, as well, and am very versed in a variety of character typing systems and methods). In contrast, the 5E system looks at the many elements that compromise an individual and its dynamic within the system. Together these elements form what we call the "Landscape Tendency". It's a subtlety that I feel is worth mentioning because it changes the core orientation from which we come to understand ourselves and eachothers embodiment in an evolving ecological system. A "landscape" then, is a natural system of the body, and its "tendency" is simply a proclivity given its natural environmental conditions. But as with all landscapes, their tendencies are dynamic, biologically diverse, and hence, one's constitution and propensities are just as energetically faceted and evolutionary. Like any energetic system, we can't simply constrain a human being to a set of analytical theoretics or gain absolute understanding and therefore assume control of an entire weather pattern and its accompanying environmental conditions. I feel this is something that differs starkly from the Western mindset of analytics and hard sciences which attempt to create discrete and disparate parts with the belief that the mysteries can be unveiled (therefore depriving 'mystery' of its 'mystery') and the qualities within possibly subject to a practitioner's control via a discerning mind. That said, those who study Worsley in an orthodox tradition, will find there is much more of that static component found in typology. However, there are also emerging lineages (such as the one in which I studied) that look at the human being as an evolving, dynamic microcosmic ecological system… in addition to have spiritual exchanges with plant and nature spirits. In the latter, I feel that it comes closer to the shamanistic roots of Chinese medicine- where among other things, diseases were once determined by reading the markings on ox bones and patterns found on tortoise shells. Enjoy!