Pu-erh

Maybe I am being thick-headed, but I'm not sure if I grasp the difference between 'Subject' and 'Beyond' teachings if they are both nondual. If a teaching is nondual, then there is no subject to identify with that is separate from everything else--not even pure awareness or rigpa, right? Kind of reminds me of Ken Wilber's hierarchy of gross, subtle, causal, and nondual, except it doesn't seem like you're trying to "rank" anything.

The curse thing is the oldest trick in the book. See this page for more information on the so-called "Gypsy Candle Scam" http://www.luckymojo.com/blackgypsies.html Did the reader offer to perform services for you (for money) in order to remove the curse? If not, that's slightly more interesting. I actually disagree with those posting above saying that "you can only curse yourself" or whatever. Clearly they have not studied magic, or are choosing to accept into their belief systems some forms of magic and not others according to what they would personally like to believe. But in every culture in which magic is believed in and practiced, cursing or hexing is a part of that, from Chinese culture to ancient Greek to African. So I am saying, no, cursing is real. But still, the likelihood of you actually being cursed by anyone is pretty slim, so I wouldn't freak out about it or anything and I'd definitely take what the reader said with a grain of salt.

I don't see any problem with giving kids belts up to a certain point. Black belts, on the other hand, should reflect a certain level of real fighting ability. An aikido dojo I trained at required the kids to be, I think, 16 in order to test for black belt. This makes sense to me because a 16-year-old is big enough to defeat an adult. In BJJ, there is a separate belt system for 16 and under. Kids can get up to green belt but you have to be 16 to get your blue.

Thanks for the explanation, Taomeow. Now I see what you were getting at. I think it can be hard sometimes for us younger guys to keep the whole history of patriarchy in perspective, when the reality we are surrounded with (and which we were raised in) is a post-feminist reality (at least here in California, anyway). Not that patriarchy isn't still there (your example about the 1000 richest people is a good one), but... there are reasons why guys are so frustrated, giving rise to bizarre cultural phenomena like the "seduction community" etc. which seem to come out of men's sense of powerlessness and desperation. I sincerely wish for a future when neither women nor men will have to experience so much suffering related to dating and mating. K, thanks for the e-book... it looks very helpful especially since I'm starting an M.A. in Counseling Psych soon and hope to eventually work with young men in my practice. I couldn't find the "Sex Before Dawn" website... is it related to the Sex At Dawn book that just came out in paperback?

Taomeow, I just got around to watching the movie based on your recommendation. It was beautiful. I am a fan of Zhang Yimou. I'm not sure if this is the first film I've seen Gong Li in but she is beautiful as well However, I am curious... and perhaps to play devil's advocate for a moment, what exactly was the message you were hoping forum members would get from this film, specifically in relation to all the discussions about men and women on the forum (which I've observed somewhat as a lurker)? In this film, none of the women really seem to have any emotional attachment or love for the Master. They compete for his attention due to a desire for status, power, and various privileges within the household. Actually, the 'customs' of the Chen family in the movie seem like they could have been designed to foster this competition between the mistresses, inducing each to please the master as much as possible. It's good to be the king, right? None of the women are truly happy. Meishan (3rd mistress) may or may not love Dr. Gao. Songlian seems to have feelings for Feipu. Basically the women marry and compete for economic security/advantage even though their hearts are not in it and it makes them unhappy... and ultimately the story ends in tragedy as Meishan is killed and Songlian goes mad. So, what is the moral here?

Thanks for the recommendation, Harmonious Emptiness. I will check that out.

After reading through this, as well as the Thing We Don't Know thread that was linked to, I have a question. If the sexual practices such as retention are really that advanced, requiring 10-15 years of preparation according to one of Little1's posts, then... first of all, why would M. Chia publish something like The Multi-Orgasmic Man, which promotes the practice to all men regardless of previous experience, and makes Taming the White Tiger sound so easy? And secondly, what about those of us young guys who aren't necessarily worried about immortality or developing siddhis but just want to be able to last longer in bed? Personally, I've attempted to practice according to the instructions in Chia's books and have not been able to separate orgasm from ejaculation. I've even done a course with a teacher of another method (the Sexual Energy Mastery course with Jim Benson through AMP). I might be able to increase my endurance somewhat through solo cultivation and other practices but I still haven't experienced an orgasm without ejaculating. Just for reference, I am 26, generally healthy, practice Taijiquan, meditate, etc. I suspect that I am not the only one who is attracted to these sexual kung fu practices due to a desire to increase sexual prowess, rather than some more lofty goal. Not that I'm not interested in siddhis or enlightenment, obviously, just that it wouldn't be my primary motivation for learning sexual kung fu. So, I guess my second question is: if a man just wants to increase staying power without necessarily Taming the White Tiger (yet, or unless that is part of the answer) what practice(s) should he do? Apologies in advance if this is unclear or too far off-topic.

Not exactly the esoteric stuff you're looking for, but I've found push hands to be very helpful in learning about the balance between vulnerability and boundaries in personal interactions. You develop listening energy, the ability to sense the other's intent, and you learn when to yield and when to push. It applies not only to martial arts/self defense but psychologically, too, if you can learn to dig it as a metaphor. Push hands is very psychological. It is very vulnerable standing there touching hands with another person who is trying to knock you down (er... push you off balance). And very empowering.

Hi. I'm a 26-year-old guy living in San Diego, CA. I study Taijiquan with Sifu Jesse Tsao. I have trained a little bit in a few other martial arts, as well. I also practice sitting meditation, and have been a member of a couple of Zen sanghas over the years. Right now I am interested in learning more about Vajrayana, qigong, and energy work in general. I am starting an M.A. in Counseling Psych this fall and am interested in health, healing, and spiritual development. Also love Chinese and Japanese poetry, not to mention tea. I've been lurking on the forum for a while and learning as much as I can. I probably won't post much except to ask questions. Thanks, Pu-erh