Eric23

As luck would have it my work as an aerial photographer took me over an old hang out yesterday. We have a contract to map the new vistor center at the Grand Canyon National Park. Beautiful day, brought back all sorts of nice memories of backcountry trips with good buddies. My days and nights in the Canyon taught me lessons of the significance/insignificance of our time on earth, living with the natural cycles of time instead of a watch and the value of just putting one foot in front of the other; repeat as necessary. Good stuff

Just got in from my No AZ roadtrip that included a stay in Sedona visiting my folks. Beautiful, clear day. Don't have any actual weather data in hand, but if memory serves... November is usually mild. Mornings and nights can get pretty chilly, but daytime temps are sweater/ light jacket. I have witnessed some of the most dramatic rainfall & flooding of Oak Creek around Thanksgiving.

From Mesa the Superstition Mtns are a short drive away for desert hiking. The weather should be perfect mid-November.

Honor your teacher

beautiful!!

On two occaisions during my teenage years I had very lucid wet dreams. Could have been succubus in the form of girls I knew in school. I can tell you it was as real as any sex I've had in the real world.

A number of years ago I attended a fundimental Christian church. Was a deacon, taught Sunday school and have read the entire Bible. I gradually slipped away for a number of reasons. Just a few years ago I discovered the Tao Te Ching and it resonated within me. The world of alchemey that many of the Taobums are practicing is a new revelation to me. One of the reasons I got away from the church was the organization. All the infighting, gossiping, backstabbing etc got to me. I trully believe that if Jesus was walking on Earth the church would not only not recognize him they would shun him from their ranks. Taoism and it's associated practices are mostly done alone. You are on a journey to discover the depths of you; best done alone. Teachers can guide you, the Bums will share their journeys and pass along some excellent advice, but ultimately you are by yourself staring at a wall. Another reason I left was the pressure of the church to evangelize. I just never felt comfortable talking with strangers about my religion. Maybe I just a diehard individualist, but I prefer to keep things to myself unless asked. During the whole time I was going to church there was something that just didn't ring true for me. At the time I thought it was a disconnect with my views on sexuality vs the church's. Ever since my first orgasm at 13 I've been hooked (ok, it's pretty common amongst us guys!), and I just could not understand why something that felt so good was looked upon as something evil. Now that there has been a few years and several books later, I've come to realize that my problem was with the concept of dualism. I'm paraphrasing Paul the apostle, but in one of his letters in the NT he said something like, "I look forward to the day when I lose this corrupt body." This I believe has lead to a whole way of thinking within the church that all body functions are gross and disqusting, and all the emphasis was placed on the soul. I'm far more comfortable with the Taoist non-dualist way of looking at ourselves where the body is just as much a part of what makes up a person as the soul, mind, thoughts, ego etc. Sure I'm leaving a bunch of stuff out, but that's my view as a former fundamentalist turned Taoist for now.

Don't tap your feet

Rain,Let me add my thanks too. Very interesting patterns. Will now have to find a template of ellipses. When in sitting positions I use the hand position that VeeCee uses. I learned it from various Zen sources, it's the prefered postion used during zazen.

I'm realitively new to Taoism myself. I found Alan Watt's The Watercourse Way very helpful. TheTaoBums is a great resource. Just sit back and read all the posts for a few months and you'll learn so many new things.

Can't really add to what has already been said. I think Father Paul was a true Tao Bum. My best wishes to his family. Eric

Fellow Zonie here, N. Phoenix area. Welcome. I'm a complete novice. Do you know a teacher here in the Valley?

If you're having discomfort and pain associated with urination and ejaculation, I would have your health practictioner check for a prostate infection among other things. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt.

My observation is that in making the sounds you are creating a specific vibration caused by the location of the tongue, teeth, pallete and cheeks. I do the sounds while doing my yoga /stretching routine each morning; very soothing.

Tantric Quest is a first hand account of his teacher finding him. His story gives a very good description of the teaching and he fills in the details with helpful commentary all in a readable style. What I liked most about the book is upon completion I had a good idea of the practices and philosophy of Tantra beyond the sexual component.

Mal, I highly recommend Daniel Odier's Tantric Quest. When you say that Tantra is "romantic" you are refering to western "neo-tantra". Mid life new agers have embraced Tantra as a way to spice up their relationships. Odier will give you a good grasp of what traditional Kashmire Tantra is about. It's been a while since reading the book and I don't want to mis-quote or put words in other people's mouths. From my perpective, traditional Tantra is a non-dualist system and the actual sex act has no romantic component. Similar to Taoist practices, there is an emphasis on meditation and the sexual component is about energy and opening blockages.

Kevin, Just signed my Dad up for hospice last week, know exactly what you're going through. Stay strong, give my best to your father.

Why the word Whore? Just curious.

What would concern me far more than age difference is the 2 children. All sorts of looming complications if a serious long term relationship is being considered. My only comment on the boobs thing is that they are all good.

Sean, Wonderful approach, very helpful. Thanks.

Just what kind of cultivation are you doing? I'm an old fart and have bad knees, back etc. I discovered that if you're not aligned properly, all sorts of aches and pains will creep up on you. If you're doing any of the standing forms, make sure you're aligned properly. I know you don't have a teacher; what kind of reference or instruction are you working from? If you're watching some guy on UTube, he or she may have years of experience and a well toned, supple body. Like me, you're a beginner, start with the basics and stick with them for a good long while. One thing I've learned from all the Bums here is that this is a process that will take all of this lifetime and that it can't be rushed.

My form of doodling at work is to make mandala-like sketchs using a template with circles, squares, triangles and hexigons. Been doing it for years, well before discovering Taoism. Just another interesting tid-bit as this thread gets furthur off course (but very interesting and illuminating)

Somewhere along the line I discovered ambient music, Steve Roach, Brian Eno etc. I have it quietly playing in the background during my morning yoga/stretching. Some of my best zhan zhuang experiences have been outside in my backyard with birds chirpping, cars wizzing by and the odd helicopter flying overhead.

Father Paul, Although I never jousted verbaly with you on this forum, I have read your posts. Your humor and wisdom have been appreciated. Yes, there have been a couple of occaisions where your musings have caused me to spit out my tea from laughter. You've done well. Eric

Hagar and Rain, Thanks for the response to my post. Quoting Hagar, "Maybe you're not dwelling totally in what is and thus maybe you are not realist enough? If you go all the way with something, it usually transforms into something else, just like stillness and yin, when it reaches its apex always shifts into yang. Impressionism for me has always been an early fusion of what would later be called surrealism and realism" You're probably right. It's not so much of a creative block per se, I've got lots of ideas to work on. I'm learning to become comfortable with my style and accept it. However when I view a piece of impressionistic work that knocks my socks off, there's this feeling of why can't I paint like that? Rain, We start off every Tuesday evening figure drawing sessions with 10 2 minute gesture poses. We also eliminated the 2 hour long pose for several 20 miniute poses. It has done wonders for my drawing skills. I think that underlying all of this is a part of my self that wants to hold on and not let go of anything. It's almost a fear of giving up control, and it goes beyond my art work. There is this need to hold onto what is known and what has been done before even while knowing that great wonders lie ahead if only I could just let myself change. Ergo, I meditate and per Spectrum, seek stillness