neimad

i'm keen to get back to thailand so i can get regular (weekly?) massages for so cheap :D

i'm still doing the soap, bicarb, salt lather followed by coconut oil.... is keeping my skin very tight and lovely. i'm stinking cos my body is detoxing more and more. i'm not following any diet but my own.... i have some unfriendly residents (candida or some variant of) lodged in my lower colon, they have been there for a long time and i have decided it's time to say goodbye to them. my plan of action: - no sugar (no honey, fruit, tomatoes.... only exception is about a 1/2 tsp of molassas in the morning with my herb tea, and my herbalist friend told me molassas is complete as a sugar that there shouldn't be any of it left over as food for the unfriendlies). - no wheat or bread of any kind. - biodynamic yoghourt in the morning to replace the bifidobacterium in the large intestine (plus some slippery elm mixed in for soluble fibre) - garlic implants at night to kill off the yeast/fungus. and the new addition of (testing this out tomorrow morning): - oil pulling with sesame oil (intuitevly i feel this would be really good right now, part of my problem is my mouth feels really dirty all the time). 2 weeks minimum for the no sugar/wheat, with possibility of extending (and even then will only add honey, evaporated sugar can juice back in.... no fruit till summer, don't like it in winter.... and the occassional pasta dish, and the healthy pastries my friend makes at the markets).

mmmmm gulab jamon...... i'm not eating ANY sugar right now, not even honey or fruit.

don't work at work unfortunately. sorry guys... would have like to chat.

cool. i kind of like the tea tree oil smell actually.... although it's not the most sensual. i love coconut oil too, so i'd probably use that as a carrier.... plus it solidifies so it'd be easier to apply.

why not? just one or two drops under the armpits.... what's a useful carrier then?

i really like chicken liver.... i tried cows brain once, not so much a fan of that though as it feels like it should be sweet but its not (the texture of it). i like tongue though.... only ever tried pigs guts and thats just disgusting, i don't like pig anymore anyway. but yeah i'm keen for hunting your own meat and then eating all of it.... if you can't kill an animal then no way should you eat it.

i picked up the miessence tahitian breeze.... it's not bad, i don't dig the creamy smell of it too much though, but that's just the carrier for the other oils. i know there is no bad ingredients in it whatsoever so thats good news. after this lot i think i'll just stick to straight up essential oils on the body, some ylang ylang to attract the ladies perhaps

thanks brother. i haven't even begun to touch on my wildness yet..... the more i recover my body, the more i am able to access more fully the way i want to express myself physically... which is in craziness. I AM MONKEY! oh yeah, at the same festival i was partial to a bit of tree climbing too i love climbing stuff and am looking forward to the oppurtunity to once again engage in rockclimbing. i also have some ideas to build devices enabling me to get up those trees that don't have branches for several metres. one is with a gun, hook and rope.... the other is using some kind of 'glove' for feet and hands with metal 'claws' so i can climb up we'll see what happens in time. when i get an oppurtunity to live in the forest more then i'll begin to engage these kind of activities with more fervor. my dream: to live in a tree house

i don't think that was his point. it's more that all behavioural traits are conditioned responses. i.e. as i said... it's all an act. so it's not that there is anything wrong with being a nice guy.... but the point is, are we really a nice guy? my answer: no, thats just a conditioned response. so are we really aggressive then: again... no. learning about this and learning to be able to engage any 'role' you wish, appropriate to whatever circumstance you may be in is thus being able to experience the full spectrum of life and personality.... that is, to be a GREAT actor, rather than a typecast. am i correct, freeform? really, the only limitations we have are self imposed. a great quote i recently read by a woman called catherine wilkins (i think) is "everything is true somewhere in the hologram" even the assumed limitations that we have discovered through science may not always be true all of the time. there is only infinite possibility and infinite potential. becoming aware of the infinite ability to vary our personality is just a part along the way of accessing this infinite.

i drink water from two sources mainly: i buy a 15 litre bottle of certified organic (means no use of pesticides, synthetic chemicals, etc near or in the water) spring water which i use mainly for making tea and making my 'workout drink' (water, a sprinkling of himalayan crystal salt and sometimes some oxygen supplement) then my parents have a jug (that they bought on insistence from me) that filters chlorine, heavy metals, bacterium and 80% of the fluoride, while at the same time alkalising the water (pH about 8-8.5) and remineralising it with calcium and magnesium that i use for cooking with, as well as drinking whenever i'm upstairs. i have a smaller version of the same thing that i drink from at work. this filter makes the water very sweet.... i was so amazed when i began drinking it, but now i'm used to it.

i tell ya... the squat creep (which to me seems to be a more sophisticated version of the above duck walk) builds up phenomenal balance. as a result of the squat creep and shin twist from body-flow (along with 4CBD, of course) i managed to suprise myself by being able to do log rolling.... yeah.... at a festival just found a log hanging by the far and i got on and started rolling it under my feet.... could do this for ages without falling off. pretty shocked really by how good my balance has become.

freeform.... beautiful. too true, the way we act is just that... an act! we are actors, we have just gotten so good at playing this particular role that we forget that we are actually just acting in one great big game. we can be any personality we choose, and i have had some experimentation with that myself on breaking free and acting differently. thanks for reminding me again, you gave me a lot to think about.

When the earth is ravaged and the animals are dying, a new tribe of people shall come unto the earth from many colors, classes, creeds, and who by their actions and deeds shall make the earth green again. They will be known as the warriors of the Rainbow -- Old Native American Prophecy wow... just came across this quote today. so in line with what i have been thinking for some time now. it's tribal time.... you can call me "green monkey, warrior of the rainbow"

i've been thinking about this. unfortunately i have 'nice guy' sydnrome.... but thats me, thats the way i enjoy acting towards anyone. i enjoy making tea for people, cooking for people, sharing whatever i have with anyone that is receptive to it. and i love to share love. unfortunately it's also true that in order to get with most women this kind of attitude isn't appreciated. my opinion is now this: if you, as a woman, have a low enough self-esteem to need to be treated in an unfriendly manner then you deserve to be miserable with a man that treats you like a piece of dirt and beats you daily. i'm out of the game, i'm not interested in petty people. if a woman wants someone genuine who will treat them with respect, who will support and nurture growth and goals... then i am happy to be with that. if not, don't even bother talking to me. yes i'm a little bitter, you women are frustrating.

my thoughts exactly. and it's not like my body smells really bad or anything.... just strong. i have a strong male smell because i exercise regularly. anyways the tea tree oil is giving me a very neutral kind of smell so it's all good. i want to know who complained.... so i can give them death stares

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interesting about the temperatures. last night the balance was the opposite direction than before. i can definately notice a different quality to the upward and downward energies. i like the idea of just increasing the flow of the lesser to balance it out. last night when doing it i ramped up the down flow (i think) and when i got them equal.... all sensation stopped and there was this great space of neutrality. interesting. but this morning i woke up feeling a bit wacky again, and grumpy.... i haven't felt grumpy in quite a while! i don't feel as wacky today at work as i did yesterday though, and right now i can feel myself coming into more and more balance. (might also be my parents back from being away, i really enjoyed the quiet and space i had in the house and cooking and stuff.... when i was trying to sleep dad was watching some DVD real loud and mum had a shower and then my bro started wandering around turning lights on and there is this silly window into my room from the hall and the light shines right in my eyes while i'm trying to sleep. i was doing the relaxation exercise from the astral travelling course and i had this amazingly deep relaxation going on then all i could hear was sounds from the tv and i couldn't stop fixating on it and had to break the relaxation in my body to yell at my dad to turn it down..... arrrggg!)

i tend to be able to sense sick energy in others in another way.... more like with my eyes, but as with this kind of sensory it's not actually my eyes that do it... i just register it this way. only sometimes do i have a smell experience haha. hey this site on fractology is pretty interesting in observing the universe as fractal patterns. your welcome about the karma thing too, i'm glad that my stray thoughts don't go unheeded i just thought of a concise way to explain my current thoughts on karma: -karma is the lessons we have given ourselves to learn to move on in our spiritual development. perhaps? it's all still ideas rather than true 'knowing' at this point... so i am always flexible to shifts as new things open up for me.

thanks T, yeah you got it, i think. the learning becomes exploratory and emphasises more creative aspects... like in the example of the child exploring the words for itself and how they combine. i was inspired by this convo so i made a post over at cst forum about it:

yeah i got paranoid all day yesterday and wouldn't go near anyone this morning after my morning exercises i had a shower, used some crystal deodorant and put on some tea-tree oil.... i smell ok (to me) right now..... but i don't know who told the boss about my bad smell and i'm kind of paranoid towards all the girls here and don't know who is secretly thinking really bad thoughts about me :( second that. my first girlfriend was a girl i met in thailand. when i first started dating her, her small was so weird (garlic, fish sauce, chili diet... ughh!) but after some time with her i began to really love her unique smell. i miss it now actually. we are wayyyyy too hygenic here in the west i think, its not healthy. also the smell of artificial deodorants and colognes is actually more off-putting to me than natural body-odour (provided the person isn't a junk food addict, then no matter what they smell bad cos you just know they will spray heaps of that chemical gunk on them) . personally (and maybe i'm being really picky here) but i don't think i could go out with a female who used chemical garbage on herself.... i'm really sensitive to it and the smell sometimes makes me sick, or at least if i did go with a girl like this i would buy her natural replacements.

extremely relevant to this thread.... i just got called into the bosses office, i thought it was going to be about using the internet too much, but actually they had received complaints from some of the female staff about my body odour. guess it's time i start wearing deodorant again! my reasons for being stinky.... 1. i spend about 30-40 minutes every morning doing exercise, and don't have time for a shower until the evening. 2. my diet is at a much higher level than ever before and i know i am detoxing. 3. i never wear deodorant or anything else. *blushes profusely* too funny.

thanks sean. everything has calmed down now... i think i have "switched off" whatever got turned on. likely it was a pocket of something, but it didn't feel like a releasing of something old.... rather that the balance allowed something like a layer to be taken off and expose more of the 'true' me. dunno, can't explain it. felt like something inside me got "switched on" and suddenly there was more information coming to me than usual. the practice was so simple, anyone here could try it. advised a good time to do it is in bed before sleep, so thats when i did it. based on the idea that we have two currents in our main channel (spine), one from heaven down to earth and the other from earth up to heaven. the second idea it's based upon is that consciousness moves the energy. so with this in mind, become aware of the two flows happening simultaneously in the channel, observe which one is stronger than the other.... and simply increase the flow of the weaker one so they are in balance. for me the flow down from heaven is much stronger than the flow up, so i just ramped up the up flow to match it..... took a few minutes, then i fell asleep. i never took much hallucinogens, i had a really weak magic mushy trip a couple of weeks ago, but thats it. i have smoked a lot of weed in the past though. i dunno.... just this year seems to be becoming a very very big year for transformation. one of my teachers, isira, when i had some consultations with her about the depression i was going through (it was through seeing her that it completely dissapeared) told me she felt this year was going to be a huge one for me.... seems to be coming true. i'm man enough to cry and will if i need to, i have no shame in my tears. when i cry, i never wipe a tear from my face on advice from some guy i once met. i think my intuitive/telepathic skills are increasing too. i work on the phones at this job and sometimes i just seem to 'know' either what the person i am talking to looks like or smells like... it's kinda weird. i just got a call then from this guy and i could 'smell' him.... like i couldn't smell it with my nose, but i just 'knew' what he smelt like. weird. i don't know whether it's my imagination or whether it's real, yet it seems to be happening more frequently. and as to my emotional state, i said previously that i'm somewhere i've never been before. it's really really different and i honestly don't know whats going on as i'm really entering unexplored territory. what fun! (i'm still waiting on psychic superpowers though.....) are there any members here on this board who have begun to develop their psychic potential? fine tune their intuition? telepathy? empathy skills? p.s. i like you describing how we willing seek out karma to transform it. your statement holds better with my theories of karma as not being built up bad actions, but rather stored traumas on our soul. in that resepect it's just a matter of releasing that baggage and away goes the karma (simply the stuff we are holding between us and enlightenment, which is our natural state)..... rather than the buddhist perspective which i don't really mesh with so well, seems flawed or too simple.

i don't use deodorant..... and sometimes i stink (especially when i'm exercising often like i am now) i don't really care too much about that though, maybe it's why i'm still single? haha. nah sometimes i put a bit of tea tree oil under my arms. and i'm gonna get some of that mi-essence tahitian breeze deodorant, all the ingredients are good and it smells really nice... just the last two markets the people were sold out of it and i don't like the 'ancient spice' one as much.

here is another one: http://www.miessenceproducts.com/product.asp?productid=59 or perhaps try the vagina perfume?? hahahaha.