iamtheare

I agree with Clarity. You're simply experiencing the Tao and thank you for sharing.

Eating well really helps for me. In the long winter seasons I noticed how much better and warmer I feel when I eat proper breakfast and snacks throughout the day! That's my only addition that I can think of. Mmm, warm soups! There are sooo many great soups you can make, unf...one reason I love the winter is the soup, heheh!

A cold heart it keeps, filling jars with desire, longing for ever more.

If anything does actually happen, I think it's going to be a shift in consciousness and world view. All that other crap is just...exactly that, crap. It's just change and we're moving into a new era so there's gonna be quite a lot of fear and chaos.

Trying eating differently and with more nuts, grains, vegetables, and good proteins. Too much cleansing can run you ragged man...

Well then, I certainly can't see myself making a vow and attachment to one teaching. I like to stay confused and unsure...concluding to one thing or idea is so limiting. But yes, you would be right, if you make a promise to one thing and practice another, that is sort of cheating but you're not cheating Buddha, you're cheating yourself.

Inspiration is just an influencing feeling or thought. You definitely can't have inspiration without being inspired... I wonder why you ask?

I believe a lot of practices other than Buddhist practice have the Buddha nature in it; like the Tao, for instance. As long as the practice does not contradict Buddha's teachings like that of a Christian Buddhist...I laugh because that's one heck of a contradiction!

Okay, I'm sure there is a thread like this floating around somewhere but I really would like to hear your suggestions on what kind of Qigong material I would need as a beginner!? I'm sure a DVD and a book would ensue for now and I know I could do my own research but I trust you guys more than I would trust a 100 reviews. Mind you, my budget is tight >_< (And yes, there are plenty of schools here to learn at but that too costs a pretty penny and I would much rather have a DVD I can use to learn at my own pace and perfect over a course of months before I have the money to take classes.)

Thank you everyone! I will be looking through the vast internet and such with your advice!

I'm not quite sure who to ask for a subforum in the journal section otherwise I would post this there. I don't believe myself to be a great story teller but this is my stretch as a new member entering a new home. First off, I was raised to be a Christian. My Father became a born again Christian when I was 4, whilst my mother was still struggling with alcoholism and life itself, it took her 2 years to convert as well. My mother was an abusive drunk, well, she was abusive in general and as my father found his path, she was not one bit happy and tried to destroy everything he owned; including anything related to his new found path. My father was strong through all of this and was quite melancholy towards her efforts to destroy him. I am the youngest and only female of 3 children. For a lot of reasons I don't understand completely, I was a tortured child. Always anxious, always paranoid. I experienced intense hallucinations from 5 years of age to 14 years of age and not to my surprise, many were religious. We went to church and discussed the bible. Never was I completely comfortable with the religion but I followed it nonetheless. After many years of being tortured from not only in my mind but from all sides of reality.. Naturally, through all this I have grown and learned tremendously the depths of my mind and it's abilities. When I was 15, my Dad went into psychosis after losing his job and was extremely hostile towards everyone, especially me because I was showing many signs of straying from the family. Finally, when I was 16, I confronted my Father telling him I no longer believed in God. He was outraged, disowned me and kicked me out. I dropped out of high school and couch hopped for about 2 years. In that time, I did a lot of drugs and hung out with a lot of the wrong people but many times, beautiful older people would take me in and assure me that I was indeed a wonderful child and would take care of me until I would leave. I couldn't stay with people for very long and I still don't know why but perhaps it was guilt. I failed to hold a job. Although, I had found the Tao through an old boyfriend of mine when I was 17 and felt that overwhelming beautiful feeling my father always talked about when he realized the truth of the bible. I had found my truth. But I had convinced myself I was not ready. I had always believed I deserved the unfortunate life I had and that I never deserved happiness but that thinking was fading as I read the Tao. And one day, when I was 18, a traveling friend of mine wanted to go to a Rainbow Gathering where his girlfriend had run away to after a big fight and asked for my assistance in finding a ride so that he could make amends. We ended up going. And that's when my world was turned upside down. I was dosed and went into a psychosis. It was my first time tripping and it was, still is, the most intense trip I've ever had. It was a sort of schizophrenic trip of echoes and constantly shifting geometry. I somehow made it through the forest to a sleeping camp and wrapped a tarp laying on the ground around me and layed there for hours. Morning came and I was changed completely. I was laughing and rocking back and forth, I was frollicking, I was singing, I was...insane. When Rainbow was coming to an end, I decided to hitch back to my hometown with a new buddy to grab a few things before heading west. That was when I fell in love with traveling. I for some reason enjoyed the day to day struggle of finding food, making money, and relying on the generosity of others. I learned quickly about the enormous variety of people in this country and I also learned that there are many out there who wish they could do what I was doing. So many admirers, so many haters. Every single day was a struggle but it was the people that made it worth it. It was the stories, the nights spent with beautiful strangers, the weed kickdowns from the mountain man who grows in his home, the pure love generous parents had for their young children. I did not have much luck with road dogs nor did I have much luck getting to the other side of the country. I was too much enjoying time spent in cities and homes of folks everywhere to worry about getting to another place. After hitching all over the east coast and train hopping through the Carolinas for near 2 years, I had become sick. No doctor cared enough to investigate more but simply wrote me off as dehydrated and exhausted. (I also had a case of Amenorrhea with cysts on my ovaries, one eventually rupturing when I came back to my hometown) I had been able to walk long distances for months and all of the sudden, I couldn't walk 2 miles without dropping to the ground. I realized quickly I could no longer do this and returned back home. My parents accepted me and anyone with me into their home. I cannot express the gratitude I have for my parents love and for this experience a lot of people don't quite understand why. Perhaps some of you do. To this day, I am still paranoid and anxious but the Tao has generously helped me cope with this and move on. I've always had trouble concentrating and staying motivated and finally, after a few months of being home and bringing light back into my mind and body, I can meditate once more and move freely. Being back with my very Christian family has been a struggle and most of the struggle is acceptance. My father has had a really hard time accepting me and my beliefs because he is so firm in his. He tries to convince me, he tries to discuss things with me and he even does this tactfully as if he's been planning for days. But I absolutely love my family and have no regrets nor hostility towards them. They are as they are and I cannot and will not try to change that. I find it somewhat admirable how passionate my Dad is that he would actually study and look for ways to try and convince me, hehe. There is much more I could say and talk about but I do believe this is enough, for now, for some of you to understand where I stand. And now, my struggle is to continue to bring love into my home and to help my family realize that I do not have to be a Christian to know the truth. With much love. P.S. I am very happy to be here and to have found this community. I look forward to learning from all of you and hearing your stories. And if you have any questions/suggestions, please do post them.

Exactly Vortex! Exactly. I've known this for some time and I let go of seeking a while ago and simply let life happen. I found many reflections of reflections of reflections and yes, the reflection of my own self-acceptance was evident and still is. It is by letting go that before me I see a lot of unaccepting people and ways to help them become accepting, ultimately, finding ways to help myself. Life!

Exactly Vortex! Exactly. I've known this for some time and I let go of seeking a while ago and simply let life happen. I found many reflections of reflections of reflections and yes, the reflection of my own self-acceptance was evident and still is. It is by letting go that before me I see a lot of unaccepting people and ways to help them become accepting, ultimately, finding ways to help myself. Life!

I agree with this but it also goes to show how many different types of love there is. Basically saying, not all love is attachment and the most pure love is quite the opposite.

What is love defined as? Deep affection. What is affection defined as? Fondness. What is fondness defined as? A strong preference. What is prefer defined as? Like better than others/choose. What is choose defined as? To select from alternatives. What is attachment defined as? To bind, secure or tie. Love is to choose something, prefer it and to feel deeply for it. Is to love something to be attached to it? Yes, we tend to attach ourselves to the things we love but we don't always do just that. People give their own definitions to words and for some, the definition of love is deep affection and attachment and for others, it is being completely unattached and accepting. So to say that all love is a form of attachment is invalid because there is no real solid consensus of the definition among all people. People are too fearful to say, "I selfishly love you." and it is deemed too prideful to say, "I selflessly love you." and many are too lazy to find the right words to really express how they feel. Who says to someone they love and cling to, "I bind you and I love you." Then again, this can be said towards a lot of words and then we'd be here for a very long time.

Ah, to drop all ideals and just be; what a truly crazy thing.

I don't think any of the candidates are any better than Obama.

There's actually a family runned Van-Hahn Pagoda temple close by here in Raleigh. Google Place Page I don't see why we need a list here though, you can just enter Buddhist and your city and google will display most if not all the temples or monasteries.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpnpUqa1AgE

Thank you. I was getting dizzy.

Illusion being the distortion of reality and delusion being false belief and resistance to hinder those beliefs with reason and actuality. Which one is it to you? Seems to me it first takes illusion to become deluded. It also seems more common for those who become aware of their delusions that they only create more illusions rather than becoming enlightened. (Just a thought I wanted to share.)

This is something I already do and have continued to do since I have moved back in with him. There is no talking about the Tao without him saying that is absolutely contradicts itself and I just smile and say, "Okay." He gets really offended easily. Thank you very much, so far I am very happy here and you guys are the shit Whoops.