Unseen_Abilities

"' Be yourself for life' is a recipe for stagnation, everyone changes all the time right through life.' " Yes, I agree with this, but you should still be yourself for life, whatever changes take place. Personally, I look at many older people in their lives and often wonder to myself if they're really being themselves. Chi Gung Grandmaster more likely to be himself no matter what.

I find this whole topic very interesting. Personally, it's just a matter of feeling different to every single group of people I've come across so far. You get groups of "rebels" of the sort in soaring cranes picture - they're pretty harmless most of the time I think (often just looking to party and belong to something). Then you get groups like Motorcycle Gangs - they'll leave you alone unless you give them a reason not to, but obviously are often involved in manufacturing and distributing drugs which effects the world outside of those groups as well. Me? I don't care too much about partying these days (I never really did, actually) and my drug dealing days reached their glorious peak sometime around 12th grade, my last year of school. This is just the way I am.

Good point.

Yes I agree with your point about subcultures: They all have a collective consciousness themselves, groups of "Individuals'. It seems to me that it seems to be that being Authentic is to partake in Rebellion. The "deliberate, calculated" part is almost (kind of) a joke, but for some reason this topic has been relevant to me for as long as I remember. It seems the older people get, the more (subtle) pressure there is for them to "belong" (key word) to a particular group or sect of people. I own myself, no group owns me, though I do enjoy training Martial Arts every week. That's about the only group activity for me these days, and outside whatever Dojo I'm at I do my own stuff in addition to what I'm learning (not always a lot of it, but always some). Unseen_Abilities

I've heard it's quite cultish, but I can't say for sure as I've never looked too far into it.

Perhaps it's just not that black and white: Some people most definitely are "herding animals, conformists" at their core, some I believe most definitely are not. More might have been a long way back, maybe fewer now. What is the core? Is it "human" in the "human animal" sense, or is it that and something more?

Best effective, mundane application of Martial Arts techniques I've ever heard, except for Tai Sabaki in the line at the Coffee Shop.

I think the idea of growing Magic Mushrooms just to appreciate them is pretty cool. I personally wouldn't do it myself, but I might with a San Pedro Cactus or something. I can't see myself using mind-bending drugs ever again at this point, but I like the idea of just appreciating these plants.

I like your poem, especially this line.

BKA's Salt and Frankincense suggestions have been helpful for me too.

Well, exercise your own judgment on this one, but I got tired of malevolent energy pissing me off so I worked out a way I could make it stop bothering me that actually works, so I can get on with my work. I may have been dealing with different things to you though, my friend.

Work rigorously towards generating belief in your authority over your personal space and your ability to take care of the situation, then exercise your authority and utilize your ability to get rid of whatever's bothering you.

My art is now my life - so many people are never taught the fundamental principles of the art of life. That is why I liked your post.

THE PHOENIX See the signs, third time's the Phoenix. You've been crushed, you've been through torture, No one was there. Death gripped, you stared - nobody there, nobody cared. In agony a cry for help was made but there was no reply...this numbed the senses. Many hours gone, you cried. Many times you could have died. See two signs, third time's The Phoenix, Welcome back and wonder how. I was crushed, I've been through torture - no one was there. Death gripped, I stared - nobody there, nobody cared. A cry for help was made, there was no reply, this numbed my senses. Many hours gone, I cried. Many times I nearly died. See three signs, this rhyme's The Phoenix, Break it to the ground, restructure, Resurrect and rise again. END

To balance ones Psyche well is clearly an Art finer than I first thought. Many Spiritual teachers say to follow the intuition, for it will guide you where you're meant to go. I thought I'd put this to the test and, yeah, I'm making awesome progress in my life on the whole, but you can lose it a little bit if you spend too long in that state (probably more so if in a very distressing situation, or having had quite a distressing few years), though it does give very good and accurate advice. What are your thoughts on Intuition vs. Logic, Reason, Rational Thinking, etc.? To what extent do you feel it's necessary to balance more Spiritual thinking/states with those that are more "normal"?

Contemplation of Existence Never so alone, but never so connected, I never saw this in the fine print - Gold allure, waxen statues to misguide, One coin, two sides - Not so separate after all. My mind can't grasp the depth of my experiences. If I say don't pray, don't pray, If I say don't stay, don't stay, If go away, then go away. It's for the purpose - not the image. I want to completely obliterate everything that exists, So I'm everything that's left - That way I will know for sure. There's no confusion anymore, No illusion anymore, at Existences annihilation. END

This is almost unrelated, but in spite of everything I'm actually genuinely stoked right now - I'm becoming much more the person I always knew I was deep down, the person that I always envisioned myself to be, deep down, beyond the conditioned dreams and images I picked up earlier on. Just derailed my own thread, can I get banned for that?

The longer I live, the more I learn. I'm not sure if you were referring to me as someone who "flits from one thing to another", based on other posts of mine on the forum, but even though I've changed Martial Arts a few times and I've tried quite a few practises, the basics of my personal path have been the same for quite a while: Talking to my Higher Self. That's pretty much it - it doesn't get much more basic than that and it's taken me quite a long way, though I've been feeling a little "not with it" again lately due to the things going on, hence the idea to snap into a more logical state of consciousness this evening. Best wishes.

Thank you GrandmasterP, that deserves a proper read when I have more time. Btw, Uechi-ryū kicks ass. At the time being, it's best to just get on with my life.

Well, this guy's nothing like the people in my family (on the surface) - he was a friend of mine at the time, or posing as one anyway. It could only be a factor now (it was a factor a few years ago) if their group is still running around doing these things and decided to try pulling a nasty one on me a few months ago...Given what I now know and do, I don't see how something like that, from then, could still be coming up in this way. Also, that would be an extreme curse - I don't think this guy is capable of that, given my health now and like I said, given what I know and do. One more thing that could be a factor - I've mentioned on here before, that I did mess around with some demonic stuff way back when I was taking drugs that did open me up to very nasty things that took a long time to heal. However there may have been this deeper issue going then as well, not to mention the ill-effects that substance abuse can bring to a person. That said, just say you take a look at certain family members websites and notice a bit of an ol' concealed upside-down cross (in the same manner many folks speak of when attempting to expose these kinds of people) and then ya take a peak at some drawings you made when you were a kid and there's weird sea demon in there, then another look at another family members picture book they made and it has drawings they've made of creatures in robes around a bed and tales of meetings in churches etc. etc. and you really start to wonder. Best wishes buddy.

Rara, by dark rites I'm referring to dark ceremonies/rituals that call on forces of evil.

Almost looks like a Babylonian figure of some kind... The wonders that lie all around us, hey? Unseen_Abilities ***

Agreed. I've hopped around from place to place over the few years I've been training without really sticking to one style, but I've been changing and I've left when whatever club I was at began feeling wrong *shrugs* Bring on Uechi!

Hi forest_quarter, Thanks for the suggestions - I'm a long way from that therapist, but thanks all the same. If I had to call it something other people would understand, my approach is basically the Chaos Magic kind: Freestyle, non-dogmatic and actually proving to be an extremely helpful, healthy, valuable part of my life. I can shield no problem now. About Aikido...I've left it for now after all - most of the people I've done it with are good guys and everything, but it's just lacked the Martial feel I want in my training at the time being. There's no Hap Ki Do in this city (I just got a book on it though, and the guy I'm living with does Martial Arts too )...I might take a look at some Jujustu, but I've got an opportunity to learn some Uechi-ryū Karate which, based on the YouTube videos, could be exactly what I'm after right now. Unseen_Abilities

Thanks! I appreciate that.