Unseen_Abilities

I made this thread, it's about what I want it to be about at any given time, I don't conform to forum "norms"...call me Beatnik, I don't care, square. I agree, if you're getting what you want then good, if not then time to go...honestly, most Martial Arts schools are probably pretty "safe" from a mind control perspective - I've just seen, online and in person a few times, people become a little bit too dogmatic/fanatical about their teacher/style...I think there's no single best way, and I have compassion for people who get caught up in mind control situations of any kind, having been attuned to that kind of thing before myself - It grinds my gears.

Nungali, I don't have the time to give a detailed reply at the moment, but thanks for yours...I spoke to somebody once who told me "The greater the light, the greater the shadow", she was saying the further along we get/the more we improve ourselves, the more our inner saboteur is likely to rear its ugly head. I understand your point about conformity in Japanese culture - On a personal level, I'm quite anti-conformity (at least for myself in my life) so I have to learn to put that aside at the Dojo...Like I said, I'm doing some deep healing work at the moment, coming to terms with my own subconscious, my own intense energy/psychology - My mind cannot grasp the depth of my experiences. I'm out, catchya laterrrrrrrrrr....

Hey Nungali, to be honest I had an experience very recently where it felt as if I was being energetically coerced to give up my mind for Aikido - I felt this exact thing when I was part of a Christian church for a while a few years back. However, I'm sceptical of this experience, given that I'm doing a lot of healing from serious stuff at the moment - When healing deep issues, I think they can show up again in the mind as they're getting healed at the deeper level, my mind could have just been confusing things (it could have showed up with Aikido as a result of me recently working on issues I had with Christianity) - I feel great now...I've become a little jaded about following any kind of master though. I will say, however, at the Tomiki club I was at, I definitely noticed some subtle manipulation - Little digs here and there about certain things, like the fact I'm a Musician, telling me I should get a job when leaving the Dojo...There was a mildly autistic high school student who I trained with at this place, and he didn't really get treated how he should have been - There weren't signs of straight out abuse, just being quite harsh to the guy, given his condition. I'm quite stubborn as well, so I take less kindly to being ordered around than some people.

Deep excavation of, and brute honesty with myself reveal harsh truths and difficult questions to my conscious mind. I may have been projecting so many things onto other people without realizing it at all, for these things have all been so intense and powerful they became complete truth in my reality...at the same time, it is likely I have been projected onto as well. Can other peoples Psychological projections impact the energetically sensitive? Unless I have the desire somewhere inside myself to Curse everybody, how can I have attracted this many Curses into my Life from all sorts of people? I think it actually has worked both ways - Is this Karma? A Psychic who's given me highly accurate information about other areas of my Life told me that I was at War with many people, but is that actually accurate information? Why would I be at War with so many people? Why do I have 2 Stelliums (4 planets in a House in Astrology) in my Horoscope. Why is one of them a Scorpio Stellium and the other one is in the 12th House, the House of the Subconscious...why is Astrology so freakishly accurate? Why am I this complex? Is everyone like this in their own way, or am I actually this complicated? Do I have egoic complexes that I'm unaware of? Does everybody? Is intuitive information actually accurate? Did I destroy potentially good relationships with people by relying on it? Should I try and make it in Music above everything else, or should I follow the current of thought telling me not to care about that and go for a solo life/career to Master all the Arts I'm into (or die trying)? Can I truly be who I am in this world? I've been holding things inside me that have been impacting my Life negatively, and I've been unaware of it - I thought I had gone deeply into myself, and I probably have for someone my age (but hey this isn't a competition is it) but this is now at a new level, yet again. These are some harsh truths and difficult questions I'm dealing with at the moment. Unseen_Abilities

To see things written down, or hear them spoken of is different to realizing them (seeing it with real eyes).

I'm yet to be convinced that there is one single "truth" to be obtained. I'm developing my own truth - I feel this approach is right for me, rather than following an already-existing path, though it is proving hard work (what, with all the deep excavation and brute honesty)...I would rather carve my own way across the board in Life, than follow a way that already exists. I had an epiphany yesterday, around 4-4:30pm: I became aware that I had often been giving away my power to other people, places, societal constructs, my own delusions etc etc. - This was a mistake (some people apparently like getting told what to do, I dunno...) so I think it is best to take it all back...Fighting people, fighting the world (or your perceptions of them) gives those things power over you - Instead of fight them pointlessly, why not use that energy for endless Creativity? That was my epiphany.

Yes, I've been aware of that before, but then forgot it (now I remember again) - I touched on that in a Poem recently actually. It's a matter of working out my "True" desires...

Helpful posts, thanks.

I'm going through a process of discovering what beliefs I've really been holding, and weeding out the ones that haven't been helping me out.

Interesting. You could be right about Astrology - It has helped gain understanding of many parts of myself, so I like it, but you could be right. I was more sharing the questions I've been asking myself, than asking people on here to tell me how to live.

Aikido isn't what a lot of people seem to think it is - 2nd class at Aikikai, they start showing me why it's good to bend my wrist at certain times to add in face gouges, then where to add striked to the ribcage, etc etc. Good stuff.

I've been into Aikido for coming up to 2 years now (I'd done a couple years training before that in other stuff) - I was learning Tomiki style up until a few weeks ago when I left, having come to the conclusion that I would do well to learn a more aggressive art for the time being, but last week I actually joined up with Aikikai - The Tomiki Dojo had only 2 available classes per week, but I can go up to 6 days a week at Aikikai, with morning AND evening classes on 5 of those days if I feel like going that often...I do love Aikido so I'm going with that for now. Martial Arts will likely be a life-long pursuit for me - I'm definitely planning to explore other styles in depth as well.

In certain ways, I was always more mature/independent (mainly in thought/general demeanour) than other people my age, in other, more worldly ways I was not. In recent months, after this experience and others over the last few years I'm facing and treading a path of rapid growth/independence. Integrating/assimilating all of this will likely take a while, but I'm going well. Thanks for the replies...which Martial Art(s) do you practice?

If you can, can you post a picture? I won't be able to tell if it's a real Skull, but I'd like to see it anyway.

Interestingly, a couple of months ago I set up some protective stuff in my parts of the House in a "just in case" kind of way (until I move out) and, I kid you not, since then both my Parents have barely been at home at all - Taking extended breaks, going out for longer periods of time, away for weekends and more often into the night than usual. I still don't know for sure (perhaps I'll never be absolutely certain about this) but hey, this is interesting. Unseen_Abilities

It was Sin & Censor, Sinan Sencer, not sin and cover it. Consider doing a little bit less energy work for a while to calm down. Catch you, Unseen_Abilities

To "Sin", and then to "Censor" your actions seems to be the way of the world these days. Covert manipulation everywhere.

And it aint no sin.

Walking around naked does rule.

Calm down, don't exaggerate things. Later.

Ok, just looking back at the Facebook messages: Yes, at certain times I may have come across in an angry, aggressive, even threatening way, but there were never any direct death threats. Let's not make this very public, but it ended with you accusing me of acting Psychotic when I was actually very calm and my last messages were very grounded...Anyway, I'll leave you alone now, skyyyydawwwwg.

I made no threat of death, Mr. Skydog. Best wishes.

Ohhh, I thought I felt some energy coming off that painting you did for me! I didn't like it, so I broke it and put it in a dumpster! Have fun with your group in Mexico (don't tell me to doubt my Intuition again, either).

I've been there (still am to be honest) but my take on it is now leaning towards this: Don't try and change the world, or more importantly its people, but become/aim to be authentically yourself at all times - Acting from that place you will sooner or later change the World, but probably not the entire thing, more like your Authenticity will begin rubbing off on other people and you might inspire at least a few of them to become Authentic themselves. The more people who become Authentic in this day and age the better - The world is black in many ways, people everywhere run on codes that they didn't write - Becoming an actual, Authentic individual automatically gives you power.

Spotless, thanks again - I've got a plan that I've begun executing which includes money, a new home and Martial Arts training 6 days a week. It's good you were able to get through your issues like you have.