Unseen_Abilities

The other day, I decided I'd like to experience Life completely free of any subconscious programming pertaining to Christianity (I'm talking about both Christianity and Satanism here). I believe, having grown up in the West, that everyone here is running these codes at a very deep level. I also went to Church for a while a few years back. I was coming to understand recently (becoming more in touch with what's actually going on down there in my Subconscious) how much this Christian stuff has been affecting and influencing me without me really being aware of it... So I'm clearing it all out. I've been doing lots of work on clearing out all this stuff over the last 2-3 days. On the first day (let there be Light...) I did just a little bit to prepare myself and work up the belief that it's actually possible to do this...On the second day, I began clearing out all the actual beliefs I was holding onto (from both Christianity and Satanism). FYI I was more or less just using EFT here, but I use my own techniques - I discovered how deeply all this stuff was working inside me. After doing the energy work on day 2 I fell weary and decided to go to bed. As I was drifting off to sleep I had a very challenging inner vision - It took the form of people (almost like in a cartoon - look at Tarot cards to get a general idea of what I mean) all mangled and tortured, in a fiery, hellish soup...they were all squashed together and in a very bad way. Yesterday (day 3) I felt really good early on, however more things were creeping up (back?) inside me as the day passed by, so I did more EFT on myself. Upon waking up this morning I found myself in a state of Cognitive Dissonance - I've been carrying this Christian stuff, to a degree, since early Childhood. I think we all are in the west. My mind didn't quite know what to do with itself now that I'm shifting these beliefs so quickly. Now I'm telling myself it's okay to not believe in Christianity or Satanism, that's it's okay to have completely different beliefs...that it's okay to drop the Cognitive Dissonance - That it's a worthwhile expedition to do this kind of work, to be free. Guys...it's okay... Unseen_Abilities

I respectfully sent an e-mail to my Aikido teachers today, informing them of the fact that I've uncovered some serious aggression within myself over the last few months, and rather than taking it out on people in their Dojo, I've decided to leave in order to pursue a hard-style Martial Art. I get a reply saying that they've noticed my aggression too and they think I should get a job...I'm like, "What? I work full-time on my Creative pursuits, why would you say that to me???"...wtf...*shakes head and chuckles to self* I'm getting income now as well, so IMO that was an inappropriate, immature dig from this teacher...but I'm sharing because I find it hilarious. Unseen_Abilities

Ah, you're alright Mar-vell. Keep it real. Unseen_Abilities

Thanks, Bagua - Always with the wisdom. I was not brought up in a religious family either, however for some reason I went to a Christian High School which included weekly chapel, the singing of hymns in assembly on Friday mornings...Just typing this out, I'm going "wtf..." to myself as I recall it all. I remember having Scripture classes in Primary/Elementary School as well, strangely enough. It's possible that because I was quite involved with drugs in High School that from about halfway through grade 10 I was more susceptible to this kind of thing making its way down into my Subconscious. Might the simple fact that there are often many many Churches in many many cities in the West, and therefore a lot of Christian energy floating around, and the fact that it's been like that for a long long time mean there could be more programming/whatever you want to call it going on than almost everyone thinks there is? For example, so often in pop culture there's Satanic imagery - A classic example being Rock Music... It seems that a lot of people into Music or Art of this kind think that to be rebellious or cool they have to adopt this Satanic imagery, probably because they are programmed deep down to believe God is some kind of strict authority that they're going against, but just think how many people into this stuff would probably be completely Atheist, know what I'm saying? But interestingly, and apparently unknown to most... Unseen_Abilities

Marblehead, you must have misread...

I'm leaving here for the night now, but I'll contact you soon...

Putting those Money Magic books to good use I see, Captain Mar-Vell. Got any clips?

Cool! I'm currently starting a band to play some material I've been working on...It would probably fall more into "Metal" than "Rock", but there's variation in there...I'm recording for free starting this week too

Actually, BKA: By your last post, are you implying that aggression=anger? Maybe I picked up/took on a false definition of the word at some point during my readings...I intend it to mean "attacking" life, strong desire to move forward into new things, into who I actually can become, not in an angry, hostile kind of way.

Not to mention discipline, focus and general health...I've only been training for 4 years now, but I can see Martial Arts being a life-long thing for me from now on - Seems like a good path to empowerment on all levels.

Exactly...

Again, I'll emphasize the point that the aggression I'm talking about is a natural thing for a guy like me at my age to be experiencing (I think...) - I've worked hard on my health and fitness for quite a while now and I just wasn't getting what I wanted from training Aikido. Just because I have aggression and I like practising Martial Arts, that doesn't mean I'm going to turn into a violent maniac. Martial Arts acts as an outlet for that energy, enabling me to learn how to control and manage it more effectively. I've been doing some training by myself on an almost-daily basis, but it's at the point where joining a club that trains in a more aggressive, harder style of Martial Art is the right thing to do...simple as that.

Also, on the Horse Stance suggestion: I find that even a little bit (5-10 minutes) of Horse Stance can actually make me feel really fucking horny which can lead to feeling less grounded unless I do something else in addition to it. I like a Bioenergetics exercise, "Basic vibratory and grounding exercise" to ground myself - This works very well...I should do more of it.

Agreed - There IS good stuff in the Bible, but certain things were controlling me without me being conscious of it happening. I maintain some Gnostic views on reality (for example, the name of "God"/The Creative Energy Behind Reality having the name "I AM") but I was talking about pointless, non-beneficial, deeply engrained codes that were running inside me and doing way more harm than good.

The aggression is not necessarily a problem, but it does require an outlet like Martial Arts to ground it/me, and put it to good use. Aikido, as I think most practice it, is just not an aggressive style of training, so I'm moving on for now. BaguaKicksAss, good points re:job/work, thanks. Rara, what kind of music do you play? I've been playing guitar for over half my life now and I'd like to come up to the U.K within 2 years or so - we should jam. Thanks guys.

Fair point on the job, but most jobs around here at the moment with the level of "actual" training/qualification I currently have I would consider a distraction from what I'm meant to be doing.

I'm feeling very drawn to Taekwondo actually - I found an old, detailed manual of Taekwondo techniques and exercises, and something about it is speaking to me. I just got home from a class at a Dojang nearby...It had a bit of a "McDojang" kind of feel, but I can tell Taekwondo would be awesome in an authentic school. Then again, there's so many different Arts and teachers around, it'd be worth doing some scouting around for the right place again.

I'm quite in control of this aggression now - It could have gone bad a while back, but it's cool now. Objectively, I definitely wasn't being an arsehole - I just want(ed) some good, hard training. The email notifying them of my departure was totally respectful, but maybe I did overreact a bit to their response. I know the importance of putting in effort to get money, but a "job" in the normal meaning of the word is no longer for me - I've gone through enough trials and tribulations already to let myself get bossed around by some guy in a uniform...

Yup, that did the trick. Thanks, Bagua

No screenshot.

"An error occured with the SQL server: This is not a problem with the IPS Community Suite but rather with your SQL server. Please contact your host and copy the message shown above." ...what's that all about?

I still can't get into General Discussion...Anyone else?

Well, by "aggression" I don't necessarily mean it in a way that implies ungrounded anger, but more-so in a way that implies a 24 yr old guy who's now extremely fit and healthy, with a stronger desire than ever to harness his energy and move forward in his Life. The Aikido dojo I was at since 2012 was really good sometimes, and terrible at others - I don't know, sometimes the energy in there was just really bad, one of the black belts legitimately seemed to have some kind of problem with me, most of the members were much older than me, and I feel in many ways it's just time to move on now. I'd like to train more than just twice a week as well (dojo was only open twice a week). I can see myself taking up Aikido again in a decade or two.

I like EFT for this kind of thing.

OldChi, thanks...I don't quite understand the reference to "Imbalances and blockages" you made in your post, could you please clear that up? Whether you were referring to me or not, I'm making good use of this Mercury Retrograde regarding dissolving non-beneficial patterns...I prefer the term "non-beneficial" to unhealthy Yeah, I dig this avatar, this picture had been sitting there on my PC for a long time - I just rediscovered it.