skydog

err yep sending this to my own PPJ

has been messing with my mind a little bit recently personally it makes me feel quite defeatist to think that everythin is already planned and determined That there is already a set best way That I have planned certain things to happen in advance Some things do make sense however, I feel that many obstacles and challenges have been planned in advance, and sort of like some kind of inititians by spirits or the light or something But Im also thinking im a human being, with human needs and trying to live as a soul, while being a human is very annoying, I dont want to move towards difficult situations, I dont want to wait for a so called pre destined possibility which I dont even know if it exists or not, according to a sometimes sketchy intuition. Is there more than one life path? Sadghuru says how can life be pre determined if we have to question the ethics of our actions...

I hate feeling powerless Like I have no feeling of control Like I am completely at the mercy of something else Which is possibly completely against the desires I may or may not have Like a slave It fills me with terror the idea That I cannot control anything I get very angry at people who ruin my feelings of power Making me feel less powerful I hate being made to feel low Like Im unworthy, useful or bad Like I cannot control my own feelings of lowness Im completely at the mercy of others who may try and possibly succeed at making me feel low Which is possibly why I hate the idea of work I hate the idea of being made to do things I dont want to, being made to feel low, shouted at, told to move even faster or I might lose my job, and feel even lower and less powerful I hate the feelings of powerlessness this gives me I hate the feeling of being made to feel lower than the supposed person who is meant to be higher than me according to the exterior situations and climate of the world SO I avoid feeling low and I avoid feeling powerless Sure people who are in high and powerful positions tell me that this is wrong and I should enjoy feeling powerless and low But I do not wish to feel powerless or low and have no control over my feelings of lowness or powerlessness Then I am completely powerless and completely low I wish to avoid situations like work, and being around people who do not show respect to me as they fill me with feelings of lowness and powerlessness

I used to be into weights and while not that big was pretty strong for my size experimenting with weightlifting for a while. Sometime after I noticed I was pretty tense and unflowing in body posture and language, experimenting with yoga, tai chi etc. Building muscle has the effect of gaining a certain quality of aggression/masculinity...which in a way is good as often I feel very happy and good but almost soft and weak. Im not really sure about this though, a while ago I saw a nei gong clip where a guy was jumping from a high platform onto someones abs to train the muscle and someone explained this was to do with gaining yang or something.. So today I just felt like doing spontaneous pressup kind of movements..lol handstand pressups against a wall or with hands in different position....feeling kind of aggressive after but i cant explain there is a certain quality that i havent felt before.

I view nature as knowing the best way to bring light to my life through my soul, as it knows my future and what is needed Animal spirits are natural and different from person to person, so there may be one good way for one person to act and not so good for another to act I view animals and beings of nature like trees and plants as much more loving, and wise than many humans, trees are very respectful and offer the kind of respect that is very rare In this sense I view animals almost like gods and do not share buddhist beliefs of animals being some sort of low level form of reincarnation All of nature is interconnected and animals know when to fly south every winter or whatever because they trust and follow their feelings and instincts, just like people should, it is not psychologists who have the right to determine what is sane or not insane as in my eyes psychology is full of overly intellectual mind based insanity animal guides are a part of many cultures and time periods and I believe to be very helpful.

Honestly it bothers me that most people reply to the OP with stop thinking..it really bothered me

I dont need to tell you my vision or request your support I just identified with OP Because I dont see anything wrong with a rebellious attitude, a desire to create, I dont see it as something that needs to be meditated away, and I am rejecting people who somehow try to insinuate something wrong in me because I desire to be involved in some part of a creation process that creates a more beautiful world

So you put down someone for their vision because they might fail I disagree

Ok if you really wish to continue this topic, I will have to further ruin my energy You know what happened to native communities the ones that didnt get wiped out They were approached by christian and buddhist missionaries People that told them right was wrong and wrong was right People that told them reject anger, be obedient, be a good little worker slave and obey your masters So what happened people became brainwashed and led away CT talks about me being a saviour complex You got no guts CT, you have a weak pathetic spirit. You instead choose to walk away from what is right, because you might fail You dont even realise you could be talking to one of those "masters" whose feet you want to kiss in 40 years but instead wiping your bum marks over other peoples visions and desire to help humanity If it was normal in a society for people to rape each other constantly, people might reply with some crap like "stop trying to be a saviour" Just pussy Again I dont need to prove or confirm my spiritual level to anyone I dont always choose to focus on such topics I keep it at the back of my mind, and think about harmony You know come to think of it Taoism is somewhat like that too "dont ever rebel" dont ever want to change things" nice political doctrine Funny how all the "gods chosen people" dont care about the other non gods chosen people because you think your the elite and you should have fity thousand times more wealth than others I was reading about colours of energy this morning.. Seems like most of the people arguing with me are at brown or black "desire safety above all and fitting in" "seek power to make up for emotional insecurities" "desire to conform to societys expectation" I am not. Why is it the people who love brown or black are telling me what is spiritual

one pie drank some water then drank some more dreamed of pies and drank some more water

All pies eventually drink some water so off to drink water and become a pie

i know thats a subtle jab again, but most of the replys to OP were "stop thinking, conform, be balanced" I have every right to disagree and inform readers that they can and have every right to want social change.

I dont agree that its a nonsensical justification I am frequently surrounded by animal and nature spirits, I hate the word and having to bring this up but what do that make me like a shaman. That means like them I have deep respect for nature and enlightened ways of living, do you see native americans or aboriginals decide to want to go and live like "white man" does they are angry at the destruction of nature, they do not conform they go and live on their reservations or some of them turn to alchohol and ommit suicide. I dont need to tell you what Im doing or what my plans are. Even my comment about animal or nature spirits will be met with derision by most on this "spiritual forum"

I disagree thats just a judgement because you disagree with my views on society and you do on most posts I make unlike others like me who agree with some of my posts on society and dont say "your thinking too much" again because your rich and havent known too much of what I have Maybe I am a bit hostile, to people who say that you should never think of revolution or creating a new world because it makes you somehow bad.

I dont see how anyone who has seen the things Ive seen and lived my life can defend this culture Its ok nothing to see here folks dont ever think of revolution or designing better social systems thats unspiritual Be in the ldt

The lerner, brian, and joe blast are rich authoritarian types who always defend the ways of the world I have seen and experienced real poverty and adversity I do not defend the ways of the world I seek to create better ways of living Whether thats through doing or non doing I dont care

I disagree, thats just a jab because you were probably upset by my comment

Not neccessarily Making art, making a film, stories, writing etc Will most likely be seen as worthless by most Yet in being yourself, you may have been more productive than a high powered lawyer than sent 20 people to jail last week Doing something is very "difficult to judge" The thoughts and intentions I have "do things" But no one will ever know This is totally in line with the Tao

I view wanting to create new ways of doing things to be beautiful not something that should be met with comments like "stop thinking, your unkind by wanting to change things" People should be encouraged for their desire to change/create better ways of living

People view me as bad because I dont want to conform to the ways of the world I do not agree with the way society is Just like I would not go into Nazi germany and become a prison guard Does that make me bad Should I spend more time in the ldt and stop thinking

Whats a matter CT are you upset by me saying that All praise be to buddha

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Idea that wanting to do something about this planet, change society, create a new world = unspiritual Is complete bullshit

You may be able to tell today I am not in such a good mood, hence posting on this forum.. and Im always thinking that everyone has different soul paths and their all in harmony bla bla But that doesnt mean that if one wants to do something about earth they are "not fitting in enough, need to be in the ldt, stop thinking etc"

I have reached levels of spiritual development that probably surpass most people on this forum That doesnt mean Im going to stop giving a shit, and watch nature get anally raped and hand my kids over to a society that is cold and desturctive, I want to help, I want to do something about it I dont care what anyone has to say about it