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This story happened before I started meditation. When I started smoking weed, I was in denial. In order to make myself feel better, I didn't get a proper smoking equipment for years. I made my own bong with soft drink bottles, tubes and hardwares from home depot. It was kind of silly since I hid them anyway. Nobody else could see them. Being an engineer, I constantly improved the design. The lastest version was a double chamber double filter design. Finally I broke down and said "who am I kidding?". I ordered a big killer glass bong with six percolator and ice catcher online for well over $100. The hit was soomth and strong with any sucking effort. However, I needed twice amount of weed to get the same high than my home made bong. Why? It took me a while to figure out that the way I inhaled the smoke with my home made bong increase the "high". Effectively I was doing a type of Qi Gong breathing. I was also very tentative with inhaling flow since the burn wasn't even. I had to adjust my inhaling according to the buring rate. My crappy home made bong forced me into the "zone". That's how I started my meditation training. The drug and self deceiving started my journey to Tao. It's my story and I stick to it.

I've done anything I know that might work. Massage and self massage. My massage therapist is very good. Charopractor Yoga Shaking every morning. Taoist swinging arm walking with good arm swing. Aikido hand exercises (I do it whenever I can remember) Qi Gong (swing your arms like a bird) Zumba class

To comb your hair for ten minutes everyday. To do that, you need a Chinese comb. Usually it's made of wood, ox horn or animal bones. The tips are very dull. http://ancientpoint.com/inf/27468-chinese_producing_the_finest_ox_horn_comb_brown_peacock_carving.html

I'd like to hear more.

Golden shower is good for your health? Wow, I'm speechless.

It seems that you have plenty of experience with drugs. Could you post your personal experiences please? Thanks

So you think your whole life is a lie and a dream? When you wake up from this "bad dream", your real splendid identidy will be revailed to you? Dream on.

Yes, if you can stare into the sun at high noon in the summer. Otherwise, it's real for you.

I didn't know it's called astral tube. What can you do with the astral tube? Thanks.

It's so funny. I bet it never occur to that guy maybe he just shit too much than average people.

It'd be hard since Lao Tzu is a just fictional character. or he's hiding in some secret location if he indeed exists. I'm here to learn from knowledgeable members like you though you don't only believe in "Gnow". In one sense all of my belief/thoughts/knowledge is 100% true to me. In another sense, a certain percentage are false though I don't which part is false and I don't know the percentage. I need a "mirror" to inspect my own thought. This forum is an excellent place to do that.

Minor correction. Buddism is the "middle way", it's never nihilistic. Please don't spread wrong impression of buddhism. It's not cool. From wikipedia. Middle WayMain article: Middle Way An important guiding principle of Buddhist practice is the Middle Way (or Middle Path), which is said to have been discovered by Gautama Buddha prior to his enlightenment. The Middle Way has several definitions: The practice of non-extremism: a path of moderation away from the extremes of self-indulgence and self-mortification; The middle ground between certain metaphysical views (for example, that things ultimately either do or do not exist);[48] An explanation of Nirvana (perfect enlightenment), a state wherein it becomes clear that all dualities apparent in the world are delusory (see Seongcheol); Another term for emptiness, the ultimate nature of all phenomena (in the Mahayana branch), a lack of inherent existence, which avoids the extremes of permanence and nihilism or inherent existence and nothingness.

I didn't know it was the blind spot that I saw in my eyes. thanks, TI. It's not that easy to move the blind spot exactly where I want since the spot was tiny and hard to see. I practice to align them in movie theater as I posted in another thread. I'd sit a far back (you can do it anywhere, but some distance is lot easier), I cross my eyes so I can see two images of the screen, one from left eye and one from right eye. I'd manipulate my eyes to move the futher apart or close togehter to over lap. You can do it with moon, star or any thing at distance. But it's not as much fun as playing in movie theaters. Another way I train my eyes is to gaze at crystal candelier when it's turned off. I'd first focus on a bright spot at a convenient location. When that spot become brighter and colorful, I include the surrounding area until they are bright and colorful. After a while, the whole candelier become sparkling colorful. Smile increases the brightness. Try to conjure a sense of wonder, it increases the colourfulness. I look at sky and clouds this way sometimes. After a few minutes, I'd see some transperant little "worms" swimming around in front of my eyes. The longer I gaze the more of them, and brighter. They seems to make the sky pixies. TI, I think you mentioned something about it. Have you figured out what they are? Thanks.

So you're a real, genuine happy guy?

Then fu*# nirvanna. I stay human, And I'd create a brand new world which is better and easier to get in. You can do whatever you like.

I have no idea why you put up the video. I have no idea what Don was talking about. He seems to be a happy guy and loves his drum. The emotion is highly desireable in my opinion. I'm interested in A.I. (Artificial Intelligence). We still don't know how to generate "human" emotions when we design A.I. Our creator figured it out. I don't trust Buddha. He promised he'd get everyone in his promised land of bliss. I'm not there. He's either a slakcer or he's lying. Only my own experience is gunuine and real to me. All others are just input to me and needs to be processed.

Good luck, everything. I hope you'd find what you are looking for.

Ganesha Goes to Lunch: Classics from Mystic India (Mandala Classics) [Paperback]My first introduction to Indian mythology. An easy read and entertaining.

Have you seen "the Life of Pi"? by Lee? I believe the Shawshank Redemption was based on a book by Steven King, and which was based on a true life story.

Call my crazy. But I think I can have the power to grant these superficial relationship with sheeples as genuine human emotions. I don't have the power to change what you think of your relationship with your mom. But I can accept my mom's superficial/fake love towards me as genuine. Who is to argue with me about what is real and true inside my mind? If you truly believe that everything is illusion, why can't you create something real? I thought you were pretty ballsy.

Yep, I'm a big matrix fan as well. It's on my profile. Man against machine. How ironic!

gentlewind, Thank you for talking to sree. You seem to have infinite patience. Initially I was dying to see this thread end. Now it got interesting.

I always wonder what you think of your mom?

Yep, Joelbast is the technician. Did you strain your eyes too much? I have this bad habit of abusing my eyes. Some rememdy. 1. Don't stare hard. It's a soft gaze. When I feel the stingy on my eyes, I relax my facial muscle more. 2. Rub my hands until it's warm, I cup my closed eyes for a few minutes. 3. Eye Qi Gong. It only takes five minutes. 4. Rolling my eyes regularly, up, down, left, right, clockwise and counter clockwise. 5. Massage my head and neck. 6. Alternate nostril breathing. I think it's the same muscle control the eye movement.

Nice to meet you too. I had two K episodes in the last two years. After the first one, I lost my job, my house and my gf. I had to support my kids. I faked to be normal and got another job in a different country. Then another K came up to send me into hospital again. Out of hospital, I was determined to keep my job for I know if I lost that one, I'd probably go real crazy, or ended up in a monastery. The office washroom was my sanctuary. whenever I felt "crazy", I locked myself inside the stool booth. I'd experiment all kind of stuff to keep me "normal", breathing exercises, Qi Gong movement, silent mantra, silent lion roar, writing down my crazy thoughts (writting on paper seems to have different effect than typing into computer). Then I went back to work. God bless my collegues and my managers. They are very nice to me. I alos work during weekends to pick up my slacks. Somehow, I survived, step by step, day by day. I can't say I have it under control. But I still have my job, enjoy life sometimes, and trying to figure out the mystery of all this. Good luck.