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You answered your own question. I've had some kundalini experiences. I understand your frustration and loneliness which echo mine. Whatever path you take is good. Everyone is a buddha if you treat him like one.

The underline hardware and mechanism of producing thoughts are in our genes. The human genes are products of millions/billions years of evolution. It's unrealistic and naive to believe that will power alone can change all that in a single life time. http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/14/health/lifeswork-eric-kandel-memory "For decades, Kandel has studied how we create short-term and long-term memories at the molecular level. His work has shown what genes are changed during the learning process, how these genes are altered and how the changes contribute to the growth of new connections in the brain." "But the remarkable thing that Darwin discovered is that evolution is very conservative. If it finds through natural selection that some set of mechanisms work, it tends to retain those mechanisms in perpetuity. And this is what one finds with the learning process"

yep, better learn how to look at a woman appreciably.

Not really. We don't know exactly where heaven-hell is. IMHO, it's all here right on earth now. Killing oneself without proper cause is a sure ticket to be reincarnated in a less favorable situation. In short, you kill yourself. Your next life will be worse. The reincarnation theory is inline with reward-punishment system.

Sure, whatever works for you. At my level, I can't locate my mind if a naked cute girl dancing in front of my eyes.

The eye training is paramount important. Though I don't enjoy it. Looking through nose ridge is a clever method. The benefit is enormous.

The "Taoist Sexual Meditaion" didn't teach you how to mastrubate correctly? If so, that's a book in question. Why can't a guy "gain knowledge of their body as they open up through orgasm, opening and circulating through channels" via masturbation?

According to CTM, every edible is either medicine or poison depending on the dosage, frequency of consumption, and the condition of the patience. I've been struggling with my pot usage for a while Not physically, mainly morally and spiritually. My family is totally against any drug usage. I also worried about my kids. How do I teach my kids about drugs? Almost every spiritual "guru" says that you can't get enlightened if you do drugs. I think weed is just another crutch on my journey. I apply my tool whichever way I feel right. I don't care too much about sentences like "nobody can't find the truth under influence of drug". Well, why can't I be the first? Buddha didn't get enlighted by following other's step. Another thing I do worry is what if I become dependent on weed? The other day, I couldn't get my daily morning coffee. My body reacted far worse. "My miracle is that when I'm hungry, I eat, and when I am tired, I sleep." -- Bankei Disclaimer: I smoke about one gram of weed ($10 Candian dollars) a week.

Around 12 pm, after three hours practice, I went to bed. Remembering some joke, I chuckled to myself. I felt something jumped around my throat area. Then I heard laughter of a young man. The Qi felt on my neck spread to my whole body quickly. My body started shaking, very vigorous that the whole bed vibrated. My comforter got a life of its own. It clung to my whole body like a saran wrap. I saw a faint golden light face from my third eye. Then suddenly, everything stopped. I saw a bed with blue and white bed spreads and a toy bunny. After it's over, I felt light and good. I could hear the the birds singing outside at midnight. What was that? I have a few guesses. 1. A stagnant Qi triggered a chain reaction of events. 2. Normal going to sleep process, I just noticed it then. 3. An astral friend played a prank on me. Any ideas? Thanks.

I'm plotting my revenge. First, I need to learn how to locate you guy .

I was fully awake. I'd think it's nothing special if it had happened in a dream. I had heard voices before. I had seen stuff through my third eye. I had my body shaking by itself before. But this time, it all happen at once. And the comfortable was very strange. It wrapped around my body so tight that my skin cling around my bones. Have you seen the vacuum food sealer? I thought I was processed in one.

It's just a proof that mind over matter. If one belives certain things is harmful, the body will obey and produce the "evidence".

Yes. Loneliness is hard for me as well. I have to accept it as part of pakage in life. Having experienced depression, I know that I can feel loneliness amongst family and friend in a festive occassion. I also know that I'm the only key holder to my heart. It's my responsibility. I can't transfer the duty to others. Anyway, I love this forum. I believe any form of connection is better than none. So many people here have helped me. As a social gethering place. This forum is better than any bar/club I've been to. And this is a good training ground for people are super nicer here than usual places. If I can't make a civilized conversation here, it's unlikely I'll make any friends outside in the "real" world.

I think it's a good thing if you want to take up energy works (yoga, qigong, meditation). It indicated that your channels were easy to open. If you have no interests in energy works, just ignore them. You'll be fine.

I don't see any problem. You walk your path. I walk mine. Again. I don't want to turn this thread into another concept debating thread. Basically I don't want to know what you think how things should be, I want to know what you DO in your real daily life.

Window dressing. So people would assume I knew what I was talking about.

Sorry to animal lovers. My following story might upset you. There is an old Chinese story about a butcher who can disect a cow with Tao mind. A cook was butchering an ox for Duke Wen Hui. The places his hand touched, His shoulder leaned against, His foot stepped on, His knee pressed upon, Came apart with a sound. He moved the blade, making a noise That never fell out of rhythm. It harmonized with the Mulberry Woods Dance, Like music from ancient times. Duke Wen Hui exclaimed: "Ah! Excellent! Your skill has advanced to this level?" "What I follow is Tao, The cook puts down the knife and answered: Which is beyond all skills. "When I started butchering, What I saw was nothing but the whole ox. After three years, I no longer saw the whole ox. "Nowadays, I meet it with my mind Rather than see it with my eyes. My sensory organs are inactive While I direct the mind's movement. "It goes according to natural laws, Striking apart large gaps, Moving toward large openings, Following its natural structure. "Even places where tendons attach to bones Give no resistance, Never mind the larger bones! "A good cook goes through a knife in a year, Because he cuts. An average cook goes through a knife in a month, Because he hacks. "I have used this knife for nineteen years. It has butchered thousands of oxen, But the blade is still like it's newly sharpened. "The joints have openings, And the knife's blade has no thickness. Apply this lack of thickness into the openings, And the moving blade swishes through, With room to spare! "That's why after nineteen years, The blade is still like it's newly sharpened. "Nevertheless, every time I come across joints, I see its tricky parts, I pay attention and use caution, My vision concentrates, My movement slows down. "I move the knife very slightly, Whump! It has already separated. The ox doesn't even know it's dead, and falls to the ground like mud. "I stand holding the knife, And look all around it. The work gives me much satisfaction. I clean the knife and put it away." Duke Wen Hui said: "Excellent! I listen to your words, And learn a principle of life."

Many thanks to Lin for sending me the video. It's more fun to add movement with the contraction. The Contraction Inhale Method The Contraction Exhale Method Inhale yan intent (contraction) and yin action (pull in) yin intent (relax) and yin action (pull in) Exhale yin intent (relax) and yan action (push out) yan intent (contraction) and yan action (push out) I guess different application requires different method. It's fun to practice both.

Learn more about breathing and practice, practice and practice. Can you "breath" to every point along the MCO path? Do you have tactile sense along the MCO path? Do you have muscle controls along the MCO path? They're not must. But if you can do these, it'll be easier to run MCO.

Yes. Stop the addiction to ejaculation. The ejaculation is a myth. One can have orgasm without ejaculation. Sure, ejaculation has fun by itself too. But most time, I just want to experience the pleasure without the mess. The hard on is a myth too. One can have orgasm without a hard on. Sure, it's a lot easy to have orgasm with a hard on. But one can train himself to have orgasm without the burden of addtion blood needed by the hard on. The penis is a myth too. One can have orgasm without a penis. Ask a woman, she'll tell you how. Just a joke. Seriously, one can have brain, organ or whole body orgasm. It's not easy, but it does exist. Having said that, a hard penis looks better and more useful to others. And you can get orgasm out of it with a little effort almost every day. While, I need to jump all kind of loops to get a heart orgasm once in a year. Don't blame me for not being spiritual, you guys make it too hard.

Solitude is the green house, eventually one has to be in nature of his choice.

Yes, you're right about mind set is very important. Sometimes, a little trick is helpful to break out from the old pattern of thinking and acting. You mentioned about peripheral vision, I think it's a very useful tool. Surely the high level people can just relax and be in the moment. But my body doesn't know how to relax and my mind doesn't know how to relax.

I think Manitou had a valid point about taking personal responsibility. Then you guys jumped on the weed blaming train for him.

The original poster blamed all his problem on the "K". Now you guys wanted to shift the blame to weed? What's the next? the devil?

How do you dance differently to mak it "cultivation" than regular dance?