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Yes. God already forgave you. I know the hardest part is to forgive yourself. I'm struggling with it as well. Conceptually I'm OK. But sometimes the guilty feeling still drive me into despair. I think forgiveness is not about feel good about your deed. You should feel bad and still be able to forgive yourself. Forgive is not forget.

It's your crown chakra. You have too much energy inside your head. So many posters suggested MCO. It helps distribute Chi around your body. Maybe you should get your body moving. Heavy physical work out help a lot too. bright light, ringing in the ear and unexpected weired body sensation are common with Kundalini.

I concur. I am a fool. The premature kundalini awakening can make your thoughts racing like crazy, like a thousand thread at same time. It could also give you tremedous power of concentration. To make it short. I had kundalini. I meditated. I was hopitalized. The young gentleman had bi-parlor. He didn't know how to meditate. He's depressed and suicidal. I don't think it's a good time to start meditate without proper guidance.

Kundalini needs energy to function. I think sexual energy is the fuel. Kundalini will get what it needs anyway. Mabye you're young that you can regenerate sexual energy quicker. In my case, I felt complete drained and more suicidal thoughts. If you have done any meditation before, it's not a good time to learn right now. It might make matter worese. You may want to learn movement qigong to open up MCO, like the teacup Qi Gong (youtube it) or falong Qong set 4. http://www.youtube.com/user/falundafaenglish If you can use your mind to guide the Kundalini energy go around MCO, you'd feel better. If the music come to you, then write it down. forget the "saving world" thing, you can only save yourself. Be humble and have compassion. Kundalini may give you the false impression that you're holier and have special ability. You don't, at least not yet. Forget job for now. You haven't realized the severity of your problem. If you had broken your leg, would you be looking for a job now? If you don't handle the Kundalini problem, it may scar you for life. Please don't take it lightly. You're still young, a year or two off work isn't a big deal. Your mental health is paramount. You're not the same person anymore. You can't go back to who you were before. You can either use the kundalini to better yourself or let it ruin your life. Open up to your parents. Tell them that you have a major health issue that you need time to heal. Please don't rush yourself. Don't isolate yourself from society either. Hate isn't the answer. Love is. I pray for you.

Welcome. You're lucky to be able to do it full time.

Can’t you tell me right now about moving sexual energy? Ok. When my sexual energy gets huge, instead of ejecting my sexual energy out of my penis, I allow the huge energy to fill my entire body. The huge pressure in my penis moves up and around my body instead of down and out through my penis. Part 2 explains how to move sexual energy out of your penis (without ejaculating), and why it feels so damn good. Moving sexual energy around the body is orgasmic! I didn't read the whole book since it's NOT free. But from the quote in the book. It seems to be good for people who has no idea of chakras or qi.

WillingToListen, when Eckhart Tolle had a similar experience, he chose to sit on a bench in a park for two years. His parents thought he's wasting time. Now he's considered a spiritual guru with a few best sellers. I had two kundalini awakening experiences. I can understand your frustration. It's not going to be easy. You have a golden opportunity here right now. You have high energy that your mind can change your physical body and infulence your surroundings. I suggest you work with kundalini, rather than fight against it. You don't have to work. You live with your parents. You don't have to worry about rent and food. You're in a lucky position. You want to have a future and to help others. It's good intention and it will happen. Right now, you need to take care of yourself first. Don't worry about future. Do live day by day, minute by minutes and moment by moment. Remember, being alive is enough contribution to this world. Anything more is bonus. There is no specific food or practice can "cure" kundalini. Actually now, your body knows best. Just eat and drink what make your mouth and stomach happy, be it fruit or a big Mac. Forget hefty goals. Try not to use your mind too much, like writing music or stories. Try to feel your body more. Maybe you want to learn how to open MCO as other suggested. Basically you can't do nothing wrong in your state except masturbation to ejaculation. I think you already know that. PM me if you want to a real person talking to you on the phone. We can exchange phone numbers. Love conquers all.

Being comfortable and pain free is more important than posture for now. You don't have to sit lotus or half lotus. You can sit cross your leg on a cushion. Even sitting on chair works well for most practice. The middle back pain may indicate you have locked shoulder blade problem. Stretches would help. I have stiff joints. I have to stretch every day. I use simple tai ji form to do dynamic stretch, one form for five to ten minutes. And yoga for static stretch. There are tons of good information online about stretching. The key point is breath, slow and every day. After a while, my bonefied tendon became soft and release electric charge. It's very pleasant to stretch after one year.

I have a question about the maoshan travelling hand in the book Kunlun Method by Max. The pictures show the pinkie downward as "on" position. While the text says it's "off". Which one is correct? I've tried a few times either way without much seccuss. Has anyone done astral travel with the maoshan hand method? Any tips. Thanks.

I haven't done astral travel. I'd like to experience it. Isn't that part of reason why we're here: to experience? I did some lucid dream before. I wonder if atral travel is similar. In lucid dreams, you can change stuff at will. I wonder if astral travel is similar.

Do you just go to sleep while holding the maoshan hand? Do you prop yourself in the 45 degree postion described in the book?

Scott, You're very young at age of 19. Sex is going to be a hard problem for you to control if you're normal hot blooded young guy. Sexual energy is very strong. How can you ignore it? The energy won't disapper by itself. It has to go somewhere or converts into other form of energy. Having proper sex with someone you love is the best method. What would you do if you're single? Learn to masturbate properly without frequent ejaculation. Don't feel ashamed of sex, which is part of you. Learn to live whit it in harmony.

I had similar experience for a while. My sleep pattern changed since. I always wake up around 3am. I used to get upset and take a long time to rest. I felt drained in the morning. I read somewhere that's the "normal" sleep pattern for the human in the old days. I felt better. Now, I just relax and meditate. I fall back to sleep very soon. Do your kundalini excercises only pump chi upward? Too much fire in the head might cause insomnia. You might want to do some excercises to bring the chi down from head.

I'm very confused here. The tao method is to convert sexual energy to others. How could you have excessive sexual energy? In my opinion, one of the major method of Qi Gong is to masturbate yourself properly, i.e. masturbate your whole body. What's the point of masturbation? To bring pleasure to your body. Most people don't know how to masturbate. They just jerk off. The method I describe here is low lever. If you have your MCO circlulate, you don't need to worry extra sexual energy. ------------------------explicit sex language below-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Forget about energy, meridian channel, LDT and chakras for this method. The idea is to self love your whole body.i.e. a whole body masturbation, to transfer the pleasure feeling from you penis to the rest of your body. The first candidate is your balls. I don't think I need to go to details about how to tease your own balls. Then move on to your perinium and surrounding areas including inner thighs. The hard part is anus. Physically it's easy to stimulate anus to preduce pleasure. However, most guys have mental blocks to prevent it happen. For the adventure type, you can insert a finger inside (well lubed). You don't have to go deep. It's more like a tease than penetration. Nipples areas are good. I didn't have any sesation at all until I actully learned how to train myself. It's a learned skill. Ears are easy to stimulate as well, so the neck area behind ears and below the chin. You can leave the feet alone or put your penis between the soles of your feet. And use your hands to tease your body. Use the pleasure feeling on your penis as benchmark, try to match the feeling in the rest of your body. Don't feel guity about masturbation. You should do it every day.

Yes, I notice synchronicity when my awareness is very high. Once I was talking to a friend about my newly accquired estoric knowledge. An hand rubber band materialized with wording "One dares to teach must never cease to learn" on the ground. Once in a cloudy day, I was driving without paying to much attention to the road. Suddenly a horn woke me up. I almost crashed into another car. I said "thank you, God". Then a beam of bright light shined through the clouds, and enclosed my car for a few seconds. I don't think you can look for it. Because the "looking" is an expectation, which changes the dynamics. I wish I could figure out I-ching, which I hope would give me some clues.

Very good technique. Thanks, trunk. I just did for five minutes last night, I could feel my Jing was restored a little.

Yep. Read kundalini awakening first. Make sure that's what you want, then proceed. Samadhi isn't fun if you're not ready for it. If unexpected thing happens during your meditation, remember to remain calm and smile, trust God.

Yep. ating everyone as a Buddha is one of the way to reach enlightment. If you believe yourself is a buddha, then everyone else must be buddha as well. So you're living in a place of buddha in training. Otherwise you're either a buddha who has condemned into hell or you're not a buddha at all.

I used to not buy books. Now I do. Karma. I consider it a support for fellow brothers and sisters on the path.

Deci belle, I think your method might work well for you. Could I ventrue by saying that you don't have a partner nor any kids of your own. I've seen myself, a quantum computer, an exact duplicate of universe computer. But whenever I want to be rid of myself, I feel the love, love from my parents, from my kids and from some radom strangers. Maybe it's the gravity force from the source wrongly interpreted by me as love. Does it matter? I feel silly to comment on your method for I don't even know what your method really is. And it's so childish to compare super ability. Jesus could walk on water, turn water into wine and came back from crucifixion. Can you do these? If not, is that possible that Jesus saw the whole picture a little more and his method is easier?

What movement were you talking about? Could you clarify please? Thanks.

Then why haven't you?

I think Falun Gong is the best free Qi Gong available. You can get the complete set online from their web site or youtube. It contains five sets. The first set opens meridian channels. The second set is similar to Zhan Zhuan with hand posture to focus on central channels. The third set mix yin/yan. The fourth set opens MCO (I like this a lot). The last set is sitting meditation. It's a complete system. It's free online. You can also get free DVD from their organization. All the books are free online. I don't know any better system free of charge. The movements are easy to learn and far mor effective than Tai Chin for beginners. I found the leader a little strange though his early teaching is main stream: authentic, compassion and tolerance. No matter how weired the leader is, Falun Gong is the only anti Chinese communist force. They run a few TV stations and newspapers, which have considerable Chinese viewers and readership, overseas outside of China. They have more chopps than Daila Lama factions in MHO. Disclaimer: I have no assocation with Falun Gong organization.

"If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation." A quote from Hua Hu Jing. Another good one is "Those who wish to embody the Tao should embrace all things. To embrace all things means first that one holds no anger or resistance toward any idea or thing, living or dead, formed or formless. Acceptance is the very essence of the Tao." Whenever I read something that disturbs my balance (not that hard though ), I'd question myself "are you willing to donate 10% of your income or time (2 hours a day) to fight this particular perceived injustice?" So far I realized that I just wish that God would take care of the problem, and I personally am just plainly too lazy and too selfish to care enough to put into action.

I'm sorry about your situation. I'm mush more blessed in my life than you on surface. I've had loving parents, many dates, a good job, good partner, wonderful kids.... I was still depressed and wanted more. OK. To be frank, I'm still sometimes depressed and want more. I have no idea what you want to achieve. Do you want to manifest a wife, house and job in real life through meditation? Or you want to create your own "world" where you have a wife, house and job? Anyway, good luck in your experiment. And let us know the result.