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There isn't any "send message" button on his page. I hope he's OK as well.

I've been trying to write my experience for a while. But I have to figure out what happened first. Time and space was wrapped at that period. I'm better to write it in a chronical order for others to understand. I don't feel comfortable to call myself Christian. Because my idea is dramatically different from the conventional Christan teaching. For example, I believe in reincarnation. I don't think "Christianality" is the only true "religion". There are many other path to see God. And I believe "God" was human. Christ was a tool/process/person that God created to help us in the spiritual evolution. Most Christan church would lable me as heretic.

Yep. it's very common in us "human". We're designed/created that way. After long and hard search for the "love", one sooner or later realized that this kind of "love" we're searching for can only come from "God" or oneself. This kind of special "love" we want to give can also only give to "God" or oneself. There is no other deserving more love than yourself from yourself. Unconditional self acceptance/love is the way. If love God unconditonally, you'd love yourself unconditionally because you're creation of God. Once this is established, you can love anything around you uncontionally since everything in existance is God creation or has his permission to exist. If you want to close to God, you have to think like a God and meantime dont' think oneself as God. Basically you have to align your own thinking with God. Total surrender is another term. We can go around and around, it's basically the same thing. It's easier said than done. I just can't turn my good understanding into my thoughts and action.

I think you got it right. One can never deny his own existence. Just to clarify, I asked the question because I think I saw the Holy Spirit in me. During my meditation, I had a rapture. I saw the "golden" man, a blue wired framed man radiant briliant golden light. I didn't know what it was because I wasn't a devoted Christian though I was baptized twenty years ago. I didn't attend church service at all. And I was practicing a mixture of yoga and taosist method. Then why I suspect it was "holy spirit"? When I was in "hell", nobody came to my rescue except Jesus. Somehow I believed that I was personfication of Jesus. He/I gave me the courage to walk my own path. He/I told me my life was worth living and I would define my own destiny. And any path I took, it'd be fine with God. Another reason I think it was the "holy spirit" becasue I believe in Jesus now. It's a pure logical deduction (please don't turn this into a religion war, I respect all the prophet and mystics. But I do have my preference) I ask myself a question if I pick a neighbour, who I'd like him to be. Lao Tzu? He'd ride away in his ox with a care about me. Humammad? He'd force me to believe in him, or he'd kill me or collect 10% of my income. I'd move away from him. Buddha (my second choice)? He'd say "you should do your own work, for I can teach only the way." Hindu God? I don't know if I'd get Kali or Shiva. And I could tell since they have many avatars. Judaism God? I'm not jew. I don't want to be under knife. (circumcision) Jesus? Yes. He'd die for me. Even he's wrong, we'd be together to figure something out.

I wish there some drug I that I can take daily without side effect and doesn't interfere with my moral daily life. I don't see anything wrong with occasional use as fast path into another dimetion, though I never experimented with LSD or DMT. I used to smoke weed with my meditation. The problem is that it's too good a tool. I could get into meditation mood in 1 minutes after smoking. The day I didn't smoke, I'd become frustrated about my slow progress. I started to incorporated more and more. Then one day I realized that I had been smoking daily, that made me an addict. I went cold turkey. I still miss my weed sometimes. To serious meditator, drug is akin a steroid to an athlete. I have to agree with the bible thumber: drug is bad (if used daily).

You expect too much from massage. I'd say relax, trust your massage therapist and enjoy whatever she/he does. If you don't think he/she is helping, find another one. It's not good to second guess your helper. You have to trust God is providing the best help that you need at this moment.

Fu Yue, would you like to share your experience? I wrote in another threat about my own ego-death. I've died twice already. I don't think I have any special power now. Right after my reborn, I could manifest things and manipulate time. Maybe I was just crazy. I think virtue is more important than astral projection. Unfortunately it's the ability to make the right choise in any giving circumstances. It's not a bunch of fixed rules one can memorize and follow. One search his own immortality will find death. That's my limited understanding.

Thank you very much. I've had a strange idea for a while. You seemed to confirm my idea. I think I left many clues to myself in my previous life (or before reborn into this world). I didn't want my fake ones to find the truth/treasure. (I had more than one instance of myself somehow). I encrypted all the clues and hints. I also left a key to decrypt those signs/clues. The key was my true preferences. Since nobody else would know me better than myself. I could be certain only me could discovery the key. It's the build in security feature of the key. If I can be more authentic, then I'd somehow activate the key to my own treasure(truth/knowledge) that I left for myself. To discover the key is to discover myself. It's like chicken and egg problem. I don't know which come first. Maybe it doesn't matter. It's a process not a fixed answer. I didn't know how I came up with that crazy thinking. In my week moment. I think I'm insane for having idea like that. Thank you very much. You helped me a lot. I'm not out of woods yet. But at least I know I'm not alone in the loony bin

Welcome to the forum. I'm in Toronto.

If you were a realized saint, then you knew you were the eternal light, you'd illuminate yourself and everyone around you. That's why I don't like the phrase "what would Jesus do?". Jesus would walk on water, turn water into wine and feed thousands with a few baskets of fish and bread. I can't. I can only do what I can with the ability I have now. I think meditate on third eye may bring more lights into your body.

1 Somalia 4.55 2 Burundi 3.90 3 Afghanistan 3.85 4 Western Sahara 3.72 5 East Timor 3.50 6 Niger 3.49 7 Eritrea 3.24 8 Uganda 3.24 9 DR Congo 3.22 10 Palestinian territories 3.18 The list is the top 10 population growth from 2005-2009. The top continent is Africa. And it receives the most foreign aids. Apparently there is something wrong with this picture. The starvation problem is very complicated. Can we blame it on the LACK of God love? I don't know and I don't want this thread turn into goat, chicken and birth pill discussion. For the love of God, please show some respect. In my cultivation, my problem is to accept the world (including myself) as it is. Conceptually I understand that acceptance is the fist step in recovery. In practice, I always wish something could be different. I lack gratitude, have more entitlement mentality. Everything, I love the idea that my emotion is myself. I'd like to explore or expand myself into my emotion. How do I start? By analyzing my emotion every moment? Could you offer some pointers, tips please? Thanks again.

The traditional Chinese views is that energy is vast and anywhere. The access of energy is not very hard. But one has to build his body up to handle and put the engergy into some useful application. This part is hard and takes long time. They also think if the gates are open before a person is ready, he could be effected by "evil" energy. Only "worthy" disiples are taught the "secret". I'm a beginer. I don't know if that just a whopper to protect their own interests or it's a good practice.

I guess we tried other models. They didn't work. They couldn't not self-sustain. Those worlds didn't exist anymore or at leat to people here on earth. Though I don't like these "rules". But it's the best models so far and it's working. The proof is that I'm still here talking to you. However, as an engineer, I believe safety and redundancy are the basic design principles. I don't think we're the only universe.

thank you very much. I'll read it over again and put into my practice. much appreciate your time. I guess I'm just impatient even I know we have all the time in the world. Why do we have to work, some boring work? Why could we just do what we enjoy? Did we set up those "stupid" rules? Why?

Then how come when I truly believe that I was the one, I had to die? Twice already. Are you the center of your own circumstances?

Avoid trainers like the plague they insulate you from the ground. He feels lonely in the mental hospital ward. He wants some company like him. Sorry, turtle shell. I couldn't resist. Hopefully you can get a laugh as well.

not good. Those are what I mentioned. traditional stitched fabric soles. http://www.asianideas.com/trkufush3.html

There are probably have some benefit that our modern people don't know. Some of the traditional Chinese and Japanese builings, no metal nails were used, all wood, bomboo and natrual fiber ropes.

Most Qi Gong masters I know in China wear Chinese Kung Fu shoes. The soles are made of layers of cotton clothes or hemp, not rubber. Never barefoot. It's considered barbarian. I don't know if it's just a tradition or really make a difference.

Very good point. Most people assume that the world around us is the same to every one physically. Actually it's not the case. The world around us is presented to us according to our own karma. Karma in this case can be interpreted as our own energy vibration. We are like TV. Depending which channel you turning to, you may receive different program (world). Most people stuck in one channel or they dont have enough awareness to notice that they're going through different channels and receiving different program (world). Taking recreational drug is a easy way to experience different programs. Just be careful, you have the ability to switch channels. You may turn into a horror program, such the bad trip. There are slightly different rules in different program (world). The higher you go, the more obvious the effect of Karma. I suspect a lot of so called saints are living in a different program (world). To a normal person, they're suffering in poor living condition. Little do they know, those saints are rewarded in pure bliss in another program (world) beyond imagination of normal people. Had a normal person experienced the bliss, they'd envy the saints instead of pity. I think it's safe to say "he who is really suffering isn't a true saint." Trust God/Karma/Tao, it will reward you in this life time. Whoever tells you to suffer in this life time to "buy" a good after life is selling you something for his own benefit. Good deed is reward by itself only tells the half story. Good deed will be rewarded by something real and physical beyond the value of money. Disclaimer: personally I don't endorse LoA. However if it lures people into spiritual evolution, I don't see why I can object it. Because I am not a saint. I started my spiritual journey by accident. Initially I wanted to highten my sexual experiences.

If one change one's style according to others wants and desires, one would lose himself. Be authentic. Do your best. Leave the result to God. I think we have different understanding of detachment. Detatchment isn't a cold fish. It's about without expection of result. It should be done with joy, energy and determination. Datachment isn't apathy. A man can still flirt with a woman, show her his true feeling, lavish her with praises, and shower her with gifts. All is done with detachment.

It's not about her. It's about you. I learned a valuable lesson in "hell". When a "monster" approached me, at first, I got scared and fearful of my life, the "moster" would grow uglier and scarier. It would try to do something harmful to me. After a while, I learned to hold my ground and SMILE. I'd talk to them as a normal person. Accordingly they'd change back to normal person and provide me useful information to get out of "hell". Being clever, I pretended to be friendly to extract information from them. Guess what, they'd provide fake information to get me into trouble. Be honest. Don't play games with anyone. It'll only backfire on you. Your desire of wanting to possess her got you into trouble. Detachment is the key. I know it's very hard to do. You can still admire her as a beautiful flower without the intention to put into a vase for your own enjoyment at home. Find out if you two have any common interests. Find an activity that she'd enhance your enjoyment (not sex). Invite her to a concert. If you can enjoy yourself with or without her, she'd be drawn to you. Don't worry about other guys. Never compare yourself to others. Your bench mark is yourself. Each day, you should ask yourself "am I a better person than I yesterday?" You have to trust God/Tao/Karma. Even you don't get this girl. If you continue improving yourself, another girl more suitable to you would present herself to you. OK, I'm saying this to myself too. So I can practice what I preach.

Too deep for me. Can you clarify the statement?

Maybe your own belief prevent you experiencing those rich moments. Remember LoA? Don't envy us. Every moment is a curse and blessing. I question my own sanity all the time now. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences. It comfimed my belief again: there more than one path in spiritual evolution.

Hi, Ti, I think you might actually have a ego-death if you let go fear of death. I'm not a experienced practioner. I got my first realization by flute. I used to an atheist. I didn't believe any God or astral travel stuff. After knowing who I was (I have doubt now about that) I was angry. three days later, I had a similar experience (not exact). I felt death was coming. I said that I had enough of life, and screamed "let me die". I actually died. When I woke up, I found myself was a single cell in a totally dark place. I saw a faint light in far away. I crawled towards that light. The light became brighter and brighter. Finally I came out of the hole or tunnel I can't remember exactly. I felt I could breath again. I was so tired that I felt asleep again. I then woke up by thunder. I woke up and saw the sun. I realized that life wasn't that bad. I somehow reconstruct myself back into a human little by little, sense by sense. I slept between each contruction. When I finally got out of bed. It was the most beautiful day in my life. I smell lilac every where. Everything looked brilliant and wonderful. I was so hungery. I ran downstairs and found some bread and twizzler, which I used to hate. I ate them. They were delicious like I never tasted before. I felt like God. I then did something terrible, that I didn't want fully understand yet. When the night came, I became frightened. Anyway I experienced something like Bardo in the Tibetan book of death. I went trial of crucifixion. I'm still try to remember exactly what happened. My sense of time, space and vision was funny. It seemed that I could make people disappear and appear. I could make a fleet of cars disappear in a blink of eye. I think at that time I only had the power to effect my own world, not others'. I think if you're welcome death, you might not die like I did, you might go into the next level, because I'm sure you have higher virtue than me after your years of practice. In order to achieve imortality, you must willingly die.