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You also said "The relationship that we reasoned was better for us than the life of loneliness is terminated. We realise that we are worth more than this, and that we are making our partner worse by tolerating them. But they kept us warm at night, and now the bed is cold." Had you solved your own issue, would your partner become wonderful?

Yes, Sensai. Would you please share with us your direct experiences with emptiness?

I think I've been through this twice. Both time I was offered power of God. I took it. Big mistake. I had to go under the trial of "crucifixion" and something similar to "bardo" in Tibetan book of death. I can't be certain because I wasn't religious. I just started reading bible and different religion information after fact. And time and space was funny at that time. Every now and then I had to ask myself "who am I? where am I? which year is it?" I honestly thought I was dropped into "my body" from another planet. The first time I deconstructed myself into a single cell. The second time I deconstructed myself into water. I have a hintch that this time it'll be wind. I have no idea who planted this into my head. I just know I have to figure out how to turn into wind. The first time after trial of "crucifixion", I was put into "hell". I think Jesus Christ helped me get out. The second time, I was in a hospital. I saw a few angels, who treated me. The trial of "crucifixion" was extermely painful. However it's not TOO bad comparing to what Jesus went through. I wondered if my daughters had to pass the trial. I was told "yes". I asked if I could take the test on their behave. I was told "no". But the test would be easier and less painful each time after a person had passed it. The best way I could help my daughters was to help as many peaple as possible to pass the test. Each person's journey would be different like our DNA. My map would be useless to another person. Just remeber love conquers all. So long one has genuine love, one will be fine. what happend to you if you don't mind sharing?

Does the LoA defy law of karma?

I'm having a few senior days. How can I forget "Golden rooster standing on one leg"? It's specificly designed to cure cold feet. You can find the posture in any tai chi form. Bascally you stand on one leg with your eyes closed for two minutes on each leg. It opens up the leg meridian channels and leads the qi/blood down to the feet. practice each day would improve your cold feet problem.

I'm not sure about this. Think back, I think I manifested my first wife and my second girlfriend. My honest oponion of my parents seem to be turn out true. It appears that I can infulence my parents. All those newly discovery drove me crazy. Then I can't go crazy. Because my mood seems set the mood for everything around me. I have to be happy for the sake of everyone I love. I haven't figured out the pattern yet. But I'm definitely sure that I can physically change my environment.

On a hot day, A zen master brought his three students into a cave near a desert. They sat down quietly. The master produced a cup with water filled half way. He asked his students "what do you see?" The first student quickly replied "a cup half full of water." Natrually the second student answered "a cup half empty." The third answered "there is no cup, no water." and beaming from his cleverness. The master didn't say anything. He just waited in silence for hours. It became very hot and dry. The students became very uncomfortable. Finally, the first student broke down and ask the master if he could have a sip of water. The master said "sure you can." The second student asked for water. The master replied "It's empty." The thired student also asked if he could drink the water. The master said "there is no cup, no water." After a while, the students notice that the master also didn't drink any water and not effected by the heat. The third student ask the master why he didn't need water. The master said "you think there is no cup, no water. I KNOW there is no cup, no water. So I don't get thirsty." The moral of the story: knowing the path is not walking the path.

I'm not familiar with Ashvagandha. From a quick reading online, it seems to be a good herb for you to take. I'm not a TCM doctor. So take my advice with a big grain of salt. You have cold feet and hand. It indicates a lack of qi/blood, which could be caused by either wesk heart or weak lung. You're attending university. I assume you're in your twenty. It's unlikely a result of inbalance of element. It has more to do with ineffient qi/blood. Are you in good health in general? Do you catch cold more often or less? How's your diet? Do you have enough good protein, vegetables and fruits in your diet? Do you do aerobic excercise enough? Remember in china, most qigong masters are also martial art experts. Qigong excersice nerve system more directly. The insomnia is common side effect of incorrect practice. It's way beyond my understanding and ability to comment.

I guess I misunderstood him. He just stated the result of controlling your body/astral/engergy. I wrongly believe he meant the steps of enlightment.

The Tao/Buddha/Jesus said in order to gain 100% control you have to loose 100% control first. Sadghuru said " If you have mastery over your physical body, 10 to 15 percent of your life and destiny is under your control. If you have sufficient mastery over your mind, 40 to 60 percent of your life and destiny will be under your control. If you have complete mastery over your life energies, 100 percent of your life and destiny will be under your control." It's a different path.

Ginger is a very yang food without much side effect. It improves blood circulation to improve your cold feet problem. It also help digestion. Chinese believe upset stomach can cause bad dreams. Other herbs might be better for your condition (Ginseng). But it's better to see a TCM doctor first. Ginger is very safe to try and it's very cheap. Even it doesn't solve your particular problem, at least it can improve your immune system in general.

Not yet. When you do, you don't have to announce to us, we'd have known already.

I agree with bubbles about yoga to open your leg meridian blockage. You have to understand the context of TCM. In old China, people walked to every where and squated very often. The high chairs were luxury items. It's not normal for them to have blockage on their legs. In morden western world, the leg meridian blockages are common, especially the back of knee part (kidney and bladder meridian channels). Can you do full lotus? Can you touch your toes? Can your face burry bettwen your knees? Soak your feet with hot water for ten munites before bed. Do some foot massage. Drink fresh ginger tea.

I found this sentence disturbing. It sounds like a total control freak to me. It goes against Tao (Wu wei), buddha (no ego) and Christianity (surrender to God). Whom should I believe in? A self-claimed guru who fix old bikes or Laozi/Buddha/Jesus?

Wow, I'm impressed. If this person acts as he says here, he's a sage himself. The world exists because of paradox. I used to be afraid of death. The day that I realized that I was imortal, I didn't want to live anymore.

I'm glad that you feel better. I've had similar experiences a few times. I'm still struggling as we speak. It's a case of depletion of Qi. You forced the convertion of Qi into Shen (the bliss feeling) too much. It's the similar effect of taking drugs to get "high". You had little Qi left then you feel crappy and depressed. It's normal. Since you're young and know how to accumulate Qi now. You recovred quickly. Another big reason was that you worried about your parents. Unselfish thinking could amass Qi quicker. Laughter is the best medicine. Love conquers all. If you have someone, who genuienly care about you, huggs you, tell you that they love you, and you'll be OK, you can recover quicker. Next time, when you have the "bliss", please have gratitude and try to share your "bliss". The thought of sharing counts too. I think the "bliss" is a reward for "good" deeds. Believe in karma. Any unearned "bliss" will have its consequences. Take Care and God Bless Us All.

Maybe the women just walk through different path than men.

Banana used to be my stable diet. Recently I found it didn't agree with my stomach. I didn't know why until I read a Chinese health book last night. The author asserted that banana was yin food, and should be avoided in cold climate area unless it's used to balance too much yan food on purpose. I then realized that my old lunch used to be bread,big chuck of meat, cheese and coffee with cream. Banana was a nice complement to these high energy food. Now I switched to rice, vegetables, moderate meat and tea. The yin of banana was too much for me in the cool autumn of Canada. The book also stated that fruits don't have as much Qi as fresh vegetables in the current market. Because the fruits are usually collected unripe and are consumed in a few months after harvest, while the vegetables are still consumed in terms of weeks. I used to think that banana was neutral to warm food due to its sweetness and soft texture. You learn something new every day

It's a book in Chinese that was brought back from China by my brother. Even you read Chinese, I don't think you can buy it in North America. It has some interesting method, like getting rid of "fake fire" inside your body by eating raw eels.

Ba Duan Jin is good. The six healing sound is designed to excercise internal organs. Zhan Zhuang isn't easy and not for beginners.

I suppose we have different definition of "enlightenment". There is a difference between "knowing the path" and "walking the path". My idea of "englightenment" is "walking the path" while yours seems to be "knowing the path".

You have to stop the vicious karma cycle to be enlightened. I don't think you need to go back to all your previous life to resolve the bad karma. Remember love conquers all.

I'm sorry about your situation. I feel your pain. You're aware of your situtaion. You're already on the road to recovery. How about join a church group or a Qigong class?

What about spiritual evolution?

If so, how can some may be caught in the whirlpools forever...