Nikolai1

I'll give a recent synchronicity I had which meant a lot to me, but others probably think is crazy. Three weeks a go I moved house. In my final days there I saw a very rare and secretive bird called a Woodcock twice in my garden, and then another in a different place near my house. At the time I was thinking it was weird I kept seeing this elusive bird. When I moved to my new house a few days later I discovered that the landlord's surname was Woodcock, they had named the house Woodcocks, and there was a sign on the house with a picture of a woodcock, and there was a ceramic trinket in the bathroom - also of a woodcock. I loved it that this had happened! But just coincidence to most I'm sure...

I watched this and I came away thinking that Osho's main shortcoming was a kind of naïveté. Or if not that, then he was deliberately trying to challenge the ascetic sexless expectation that we all have of the religious man. There is genuine merit in this, and it is a lesson that we all need to learn. Spirituality is beyond concern for the material. The craziness was the people who actually ran the place. Nakedly ambitious types who got their hands on immense funds and didn't understand anything except to fight and build, fight and build.

I said that because he clearly doesn't believe in qi gong. But if you do believe then, of course, practice is better than any book.

Synchronicity is always, primarily of individual significance. They are beautiful moments sacred to oneself,..pearls to which the whole world are swine. Those who don't realise this think that everyone will feel the meaning that they feel, and then they come across as ridiculous, like the OP is here.

Starting qi gong in order to improve health requires a lot of belief in the process which you don't have yet. Keep reading and learning about the subject, and especially it's Daoist roots. The excitement to actually start will slowly build and one day you will start without feeling like you need to force yourself. At present you intellectually accept qi gong but at a deep level you still think its strange and weird. This makes you procrastinate. Good luck!

Michael - I followed up your reference to Odin and I found some really interesting stuff! It's quite clear that the Tarot card is a heavy reference to Odin...but here's what really resonates with me about the Odin connection. The hanging is voluntary, Odin needed to learn the runes and so hung himself on the tree so that he could gaze downwards into the Well of Urd. This is not a calamity and it explains the rather relaxed expression on the man in the Waite-Rider set. For me this just emphasises the need for trust and confidence during my '12' year. The Hermit in me deliberatey walked away from society, and its no surprise that I will need a time in limbo before the terms of my return come clear to me. The important thing is that I am hanging of my own accord. Like you said, its certanly no bad thing! I need to slowly and carefully discern from the darkness what the terms of my return shall be. Right now, it seems utterly, utterly dark but hopefully with time the runes will start to reveal themselves to me. When Odin finally deciphered the runes, he sang: First I need the ideas, then I need to put them into practice. This resonates with me because I only withdrew because prior to this my work as a psychologist was nowhere near at the level I wanted it to be. I withdrew in order to become more functional later on. My solitude was not for solitude's sake. We've talked a lot about individuation on this thread. I like the line from the Havamal poem where it says he hung from the tree in order to 'sacrifice myself to myself'. What a fascinating idea from an ancient poem? Of course, I read this as being the killing of the lower self for the sake of the higher, or in Jungian terms, confronting the persona and its shadow in order to know the Self. Whatever this all means. You pointing out the link with Odin has really given me some interesting reflections on my life in the near future. Thank you once again. Here's a link that I've enjoyed: http://norse-mythology.org/tales/odins-discovery-of-the-runes/ I'd be interested if you or other Tarot scholars know if the Hanged Man really is a direct reference to Odin? Does this Old Germanic trope shed light on the origins of the Tarot symbols?

Thank you Michael! I already know that for the first year I'll still be occupied with looking after our baby daughter as she is only 18 months an too young for any childcare. In some ways this period of hanging will be good because I am still VERY unclear how I am going to fit back into society, so I'll have to do as you say: be patient and be very attentive to the small quiet voice within. I guess if you are confident then there is nothing wrong with hanging. You can be quite relaxed about it. If I start 'seeing any runes' then that will help me a lot to trust the process. Best wishes to you !

Hi Dreambliss Yes I too believe this, and I've been reflecting on this idea that you are a mirror for me, which I think has lot of truth in it. When I read your blog you are often saying things that I agree with. You become my mouthpiece. When you talk about your break with Christianity, I find it inspiring...but I also relate to it, because my whole adult life has been the struggle to break with and 'see past' the materialism of my parents and the circles I was raised in. Your poems, particularly the simple haiku style ones, remind me of my own vision. Or at least me at my best, when my vision and my mood are sublime and I am seeing the world as you see it. But also, the loneliness and isolation you write about, your need to make changes and the fear of the outside world all very much remind me of myself. I have walked away from the world, the ordinary everyday world, and I don't have any conscious idea how to return. All I know is that I have to hope and keep on living and trust in whatever comes my way. it is intensely frightening, but I have to do it. When you talk about death, I feel the same. I will either succeed in my return, or I will die. It is as simple as that. And I'm not even afraid to die, which is itself scary because I see that I am unable to put up any sort of fight. I am completely surrendered. I can't even resist my own death, which it what we imagine we need to do if we want to keep living. Whether I live or die is truly up to God. But it was an adult life spent criticising the world, the people (or the herd as I truly see them), that has left me in this situation. If I don't come to terms with the world I will die because accepting what is is the only way to avoid the isolation. This is why I don't like it when you disparage the world. I don't like it because I've fed myself a belly full of it myself and now I'm in a very difficult situation. You know I just criticised Thoreau? Well, guess what? I have spent most my adult life saying that Thoreau saved my life when I first read him age 21. He was the first human being I encountered that thought as I did. Thoreau threw me a lifeline - I was connected to a fragment of humanity - wow, other humans see what I see! - but then I clung to this fragment and let go all the rest. But now the fragment isn't enough for me. Thoreau couldn't live off it, died young himself, I can't live off it anymore, just like you can't live off your solitary life in your bedroom any more. If I criticise you for calling people 'slaves' rest assured that I criticise myself. I don't want to see myself doing that any more, and I don't want to see you doing it either. For me that is the way of isolation, despair and death. So this is what I've been thinking. Blue Eyed Snake definitely made an astute comment.

Sounds interesting - but please elaborate?

Michael - my birthday is approaching and will shortly enter a '12' year - the 'hanging man'! That doesn't sound good?

Hi dreambliss Clearly you don't think of yourself as an elitist person, but I still maintain that any reference to another person as a 'slave' or even 'wage slave' is derogatory and elitist. What these people spend their lives doing between 9-5 you are suggesting is pointless, or uncreative, or motivated by fear, or perhaps all of these. Its judgemental, not a loving accepting attitude. This judgemental attitude is quite toxic. It leads people who are doing humble, but perhaps useful, work to think of themselves as somehow less worthy. The word slave in whatever form is akin to a word like robot, which means less than human, or failure to be human. The irony is: those people most likely to accuse others of being wage slaves somehow feel that it is perfectly fine and justified. Very often this is because they themselves feel guilty for not working,or get judged for not working, but rather than face this, they judge others for doing what is perfectly natural to them. Talk to your average 'wage slave', and, yes, they may not be the most original, creative people out there, but they are in the niche that suits them most and it can be hard to imagine them doing anything else. They seem a million miles from ever being anything other than 'wage slaves'. In some ways this judging attitude is quite an American problem, or at least America seems to be the culture most guilty in this respect. Thoreau is like one of the founding fathers of intellectual America, and his writing were full of disparaging remarks about everyday people and their work. Emerson was the same. Undoubtedly some of this was inherited by the attitudes of the English and Continental Romantics (eg Wordsworth), but where I now live, in Scandinavia, these kind of attitudes really aren't there. If your words pass judgement on anyone, then it is not a loving attitude. I think the secret here, primarily, is to love yourself, love the life you've led, and trust it as being entirely perfect thus far. If you can do this for yourself, it will be quite easy to see that everyone else's life is also perfect. It won't then occur to you that others are like slaves.

...of rubbing each other the right way

Hi Dreambliss - not everyone has your intelligence and creativity. Not everyone has the inspiration or bravery to follow their own path. This isn't their fault. Some people are born to row to a rhythm that comes from outside them, and good for them. I just feel that you are criticising people when it would be nicer to love, respect and appreciate what they do. I like your writing a lot, but this championing of self-reliance is one aspect I don't like so much. I think unconditional love and respect for all people, including ourself, is nicer than an elitist individualism.

The drugs have revealed your own potential to you. They have only been harmful if they have left you with the belief that they alone are the way. Clearly this is not true at the moment, but it may become true in the future if you despair of reaching the same state without them. This is why I asked if there is a robust existential motivation underlying it all. Some people aren't really ready for the spiritual life, but they do a trip, truths are revealed to them, and then they find it hard to go back to mundane life. They have left home before truly wanting to leave home, and then they end up homesick. They try and go back to their normal life, and they half succeed, but they can't 100% go back and they are undermined in their ordinary life. If they hadn't taken the drugs they would have been more than happy with everyday life, as most people are. I'm not saying this is you. I'm just saying that those who succeed have a motivation that has come very naturally from within and is existentially experienced. The idea that drugs are some kind of physical pollutant is an idea that has nothing to do with spiritual wisdom, but it may have some medical truth.

My concern is that you are simply searching for highs. If you are, then the spirituals life is a hygienic way certainly, but can be incredibly slow and takes immense hard work. Those who are happy to do the hard work aren't looking for highs. They are simply trying to remedy the unsatisfying nature of life. Equanimity is enough for them, and, as this can come quite quickly, they are soon in a situation where they both tasting the fruits and working towards the great stuff. Are you sick and tired of life? Are you bewildered by people and the things they do? Are you disgusted by your own behaviour? Do you despair of yourself morally? Is the world meaningless? If you're answering yes to these, then I think you will put in the hard work anyway and you needn't worry about the occasional trip.

Hi all, In a different thread, Spotless mentioned briefly that working and everyday functioning can be difficult in the aftermath of an awakening episode. I asked him to elaborate and he answered with this: I would love to hear if anyone has experience of this or further reflections. Many thanks.

I think the opposite - the persn who could stay permanently in non-duality would be immortal. It is th egoic mind that knows death. But can anyone actually do this?

The funny thing is, I don't think I've ever experienced an episode except for one very subtle thing. But it seems that most people do experience awakening in the form of episodes, which is why I phrased it like that. But...this difficulty with work has presented as an episode, or at least I hope so!

Hi Dreambliss Actually I sympathise with a lot of what you saying, so the argument has kind of petered out. Sorry! Yes I agree. Our interests do change over the lifespan, but I agree that its pretty unskillful to force the change based on ideas of what is or isn't mature. Sometimes we slowly lose interest, other times we quite suddenly become disgusted and we could not continue even if we wanted to. Addiction to food or alcohol can be like this. Another thing is: we can seem immature by societal standards in some ways, but be very mature and wise in other ways which are subtle and inner and often not noticed by others. We need to have the strength sometimes to know our own strengths with confidence. I don't like this! I don't like comments like this, which is why I'm not particular a fan of Alan Watts who indulged in a lot of this. I guess its condescending. To call someone a slave is meant as an insult and usually taken as one. But that is their life, and it is probably exactly where they should be right now. And they are probably more or less content with that.

Hi Michael Yes definitely - I often say I practice three yogas: meditation, philosophy, and my wife! I think without her I would be a prime candidate for disappearing into emptiness. On a day by day basis she makes me see that spiritually is 'on earth as it is in heaven'. That the 'mundane' world is not mundane and shouldn't be neglected. And from her perspective, I bring a transcendent view and creative possibility. I am not 'bogged down' by the way things always work, convention etc. But, of course, on a day by day basis we are not always fully conscious of each other's merits and we still revert to type and have to experience tensions and disputes. I often wonder whether we encapsulate quite well the different spiritual style of the two genders in general? Mother Earth and Father Heaven! What do you think? This is fascinating because I've definitely noticed her 'shadow' in the Jungian sense. When people disagree with her, for example colleagues, she often criticises them for being 'uncritical', 'unreflective', 'conventional' etc. But if she were more reflective herself, she would see that her opponents are offering quite valid points of view, that are just different. She projects her own weaknesses onto others and then criticises them, and this happens on a day by day basis. She is not conscious of this at all, and I think it would be quite painful for her to consciously encounter her shadow: that she is not as much of a critical, reflective individual as she likes to think. But of course this is a very Jungian analysis, I don't how if Tarot uses the term shadow in the same way? One of the big criticisms of the Platonic ideas is how plurality can exist in a timeless/spaceless dimension. Perhaps the archetypes only appear to those whose consciousness is basically rooted in a kind of formless realm which then imbues the world of form with a noumenal atmosphere. For me, and In my experience, we start to notice the archetypal nature of people and symbols at a time when our raw experience is also transformed. The colour of the grass, the blue of the sky may not have any particular symbolic meaning, but still they are perceived with a bright, vivid aliveness. Water, for me, has completely transformed in nature and appearance. So its against this basic noumenal perceptual backdrop that specific psychoid forms start to impress us with their significance. How would you help someone to increase their 'recognition and expression'? She expresses them, but only 'in my eyes' and I'm not sure anyone else is conscious of them like I am. The truth is, and this probably goes for all of us, conscious knowledge of the influence of the archetypes will in many cases be quite threatening. In the case of a tarot reading, we may not wish to see the shadow side of the card that is presented, and so the card gets dismissed as meaningless altogether. So, from my wife's perspective the archetype is neither recognised nor expressed. From my perspective the archetype is expressed by her and recognised by me. Which of us is right? I would say that we both are right according to our state of being. But the person who has individuated, fought their own shadow, developed their psiritual nature etc, is in a better position to understand the archetypal influence in themselves and others. This is not unlike the long-standing view that the analyst must first go through analysis, and that the Tarot reading has a psychotherapeutic potential. Best to you!

I'm talking about dementia generally, which can affect any part of the brain.

The dementia of the meditator would be a plaquing followed by a deplaquing. It may last only a few years.

About the relationship between awakening and dementia there is no right or wrong answer. It is more like a spectrum. The person who is very low in consciousness will exhibit the plaquing of the brain cells as senility as we all understand it. All they are is egoic consciousness, and this they will lose. People who have high consciousness will pass through senility and out again. They are more than just egoic consciousness, therefore there will be an essential self remaining after the loss of ego, though their brain be just as plaqued over. And there is everything in between.

That's exactly how I see it too!

Yes, this is more of the conventional view. I'm simply saying that the conscious cultivation changes us physically; but when these same changes occur naturally, unconsciously and involuntarily, they are often thought about in pathological terms. Spiritual growth is essentially an acceleration of the changes that happen naturally, but more slowly over the lifespan. The seeker speeds up their life, encounters death early, and then passes beyond it into a kind of rebirth. Many masters have insisted that the 'death of self', so often understood figuratively, is also a physical and clinical phenomenon. UG Krishnamurti is one recent teacher who insisted on this point. Anybody who has understood the nature of their true identity will before long pass through a phase, identical in every respect, to the dementia we associate with much older people.