Don't feel the need to "focus on love" or focus on anything except your immediate relation with your family member. If it's sad, let it be sad. If it's making you feel anxious, then recognize that you feel anxious, but remember that you are not here for yourself right now. Your love will be communicated just by your presence. it doesn't require any "doing" on your part.
with the intensity of everything in your life, I would imagine that simple is going to be best. meditation on the breath, and natural flow qigong helped me tremendously when moving through a similar situation recently. anything that involves effort or strain is going to strike you as extremely off-putting right now, so keep it simple and keep things natural. Do what speaks to and through you. The letting go and witnessing can be a real benefit, and hopefully it can help you find more ease in simply sharing your presence with your family member.