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if anyone is aware of sahaja yoga, it teaches you kundalini awakening as the beginning of the practice. I'm skeptical of this... is it really that easy to just say a couple chants and then my energy is awakened?

I have never experienced ego death from psychedelics. It's like my mind is so grounded in this world that not even large amounts of powerful drugs can free me. so where else can I go for a shaktipat, specifically? I feel kind of driven on this path, i'm going to a sahaja meeting tomorrow, and i doubt i'l experience anything, and they'll tell me something like "it's subtle for some people but it's been awakened for you" and i'll just not believe it. but i hope that won't be the case. i don't want balance or to get rid of my issues. Obviously i do, but i don't know where to truly begin except to work on my patience and frustration threshold by meditating a lot. But that's boring. please tell me who can truly give me shaktipat or any other quick lasting paths to bliss. not peace, or contentment, but otherworldly orgasmic bliss any time i want, whenever i want.

that looks even more scammy than sahaja... it costs money and just looks more shady. i don't buy that sahaja is a cult. and if it is, my mind is more than strong enough to see past it.

i've taken large amounts of pshcedelic drugs while in a state of depression and sadness, and experienced fear that most people wouldn't feel in everyday life. Truly thinking i was going to die while in a state of timelessness and confusion.. and when the trip was over, i looked back at the experience and didn't feel traumatized at all, but was just glad i got to experience something i never would if I didn't take the drug otherwise. so I don't care about pain, my pain tolerance is very high. I just have no discipline and patience, and i'm skeptical, but the thing is...if I could even experience pain just from a simple meditation? That'll be proof that there's something more to the world than I currently know, and it'll be fuel for my motivation. So i'm going to go to their meeting.. and I hope I experience SOMETHING. what I fear most is i'll experience nothing, and i'll be back at square one. Or perhaps i'll give up on this pursuit for some higher mental state, and go back to my life of indulgence and misery and materialism.

well, can you guys tell me your thoughts on instant kundalini awakening through a guru or a specific practice? I'm planning to go to a sahaja meditation group soon, and their practice involves awakening kundalini as the first thing you do before you do anything else with them. i really don't want to spend 2+ years working on my discipline before i get what i want... edit: well, i see skygazer basically answered this post after googling that Shaktipat is another word for what i'm talking about. thanks, i will consider your advice, but the pain/torment or wahtever you say it'll bring doesn't bother me at all. I just want a quick route, even if it'll lead to some misery here and there. That's worth it if it means i don't need to train for years, because i don't have that kind of patience and i'll just give up in a month, knowing myself.

why I have these problems? i don't know, that's just my personality. I'm restless. I'm impatient. I'm skeptical. Undisciplined. Do you know what i'm talking about, when I speak of bliss? I've read about bliss, how the body/mind could reach heights that I can't fathom right now. If I could just have that, then my life would be so much better.. i don't want mere happiness or peacefulness. I want bliss.