RON JEREMY

1) JUICE FAST 2) COMPLETE SEMMEN RETTENTION 3) MICROCOSMIC ORBIT 4) INER SMILE TO DA BRAIN 5) BENTONNITE CLAY PLASTERS TO DA HEAD OVER INJURY JUST MINE 2

WOMEN BE WIRRED DIFERENT, THEY ARE A CCW SPIRRAL. DA POINT BE NOT RENNOUNCIN ORGASM, DA POINT BE SAVIN DA CHING. WELL, IN MEN DA CHING BE DA WHITE SPERM TIGER. IN WOMMEN, DA CHING BE DA RED EGG DRAGON. SO FOR WOMMEN DA CULTIVATION SHOULD LEAD TO ENDIN DA PERRIOD (WHICH BE COOL SINCE THAT STINK LIKE HELL N BE JUST PLAIN YUCKKY). BUT YA SEE FOR WOMMEN BE A LOT HARDER TO SAVE THEM EGG. BUT FOR MEN BE A LOT HARDER TO HAVE AN ORGASM WHILE SAVIN THEM CHING. SO REALY, WOMMEN DONT HAVE A STRONG INCLINNATION TO INCREASE THEM CHING THROU SEXUAL ACTIVVITY BECAUSE THEM CHING BE *NOT* RELLATED TO SEXUAL ACTIVVITY SO MUCH BUT TO DA CYCLE O DA MOON N TO DA KARMIC LAWS. BUT MEN, THEY CAN INDEFFINATELY AUGMET THEM CHI THRU SEXUAL ACTIVVITY AKA SHAGIN, SO AFTER A WHILE O BANGIN DA SAME OLE PEACH, DA TAO BUM MOFO WILL FIND HIMSEKF ENDOWED WITH AS MUCH HIGHER QUALLITY N QUANTITTY CHING AS CUM-PARRED TO HIM FEMALE MATE WHO JUST GET BANGED ALL DA SAME N ENJOY HER 10-15 ORGASMS N JUST PASS OUT OR DO DA DISHES. SO ONCE THAT STEGE BE REACHED , EITTHER DA WOMMAN BRING FORTH AN HERROIC WARIOR LIKE DEVVOTION TO DA MAN, WHICH TURN DA PRACTICE INTO A WARIOR PRACTICE N NO LONGER A SEX PRACTICE, , OR DA MAN WILL HAVE TO MEKE A DECISION VIZ, EITTHER CUT DOWN SEXULA CHI KUNG, OR BEGIN BANGIN OTHER PEACHES IN ORDER TO GAHHER ENUFF WATTER ENNERGY. MINE CUMCLUSION BE THAT SEXUAL CHI KUNG CANOT BE TAKEN TO ITS EXTREME WITH A SINGLE WOMMAN. AFTER A CERTEIN STEGE, ONE EITHER STOP OR ONE WILL NEED AN HARREM. JUST MINE 2 PESETAS RJ

YODAMAN THANK YA FOR REMMEMBERIN ME WHILE ALL DA OTHER COKSUKERS SUCH AS SHIEKKY N SUM WOMMEN BADMOUTH DA MAHALINGAM. POOR ME BE GONNA RETTIRE IN A WINE BARREL LIKE DIOGENES DA PHILLOSIPHER EXCEPT MINE BARREL WILL STIL BE FULL WHEN I MOVE IN. I JUST WANTED TO ADD 5 THANGS, VIZ., 1) DO DA BIG DRAW. YA NEED TO PHYSICALLY DE-CUM-GEST DA HUEVOS N PROSTITE N DA BIG DRAW DO THAT BY ACTUALY SQUEEZIN OUT DA FLUIDS BESSIDES MOVIN DA CHING. 2) ARROUND 3 MONTHS TO 100 DAYS FROM START O RETTENTION, YALL HIT A WALL, BE PREPPARED FOR THAT. 3) EVVENTUALY, IF A KEEP SHAGIN N RETTAININ, YALL HAVE A WET DREAM N LOSE IT UNLESS YA LEARN DREAM YOGA. WHAT HAPEN BE, SUCCUBUS ENTITTIES LURE YER CHING N SUK IT UP UNLESS YA BE LUCID IN YER DREAMS. 4) KEEP OPENIN DA CHANNELS, NOT JUST DA MC BUT ALSO DA SUSHUMNA , DA MACROCOSMIC, DA BELT CHANEL N YA CAN JUST GET AN ACCUPUNTURE BOOK N OPEN AS MANY AS YA LIKE. THEN REMMEMBER TO STORE DA CHING IN YER BONE MAROW AS WELL. UNLESS YA DO ALL THIS EVVENTUALY YA OVERFLOW OR CUM-GEST YER HUEVOS N PROSTITE. 5) KEEP IN MIND THATIF YA KEEP AT IT, ONE WOMMAN WONT BE ENUFF NO MORE FOR SEXUAL SATTISFACTION, SO YA EITHER END UP SEXUALLY UNSATTISFIED OR YALL HAVE TO BANG MORE THAN ONE PEACH, OR YALL HAVE TO GIVE UP SEXUAL CHI KUNG. DA TRHANG BE, YA CAN VIRTUALY SHAG FOR DAYS AT A TIME, BUT A SINGLE WOMMAN WILL PAS OUT BEFORE THAT OR JUST GET DRAINNED N BORIN. THAT BE DA SECRET FOR DA REASON O DA ANCIENT INSTITTUTION O DA HAREM, THOSE KINGS O OD NEEDDED A BUNCHA PEACHES TO GET SUM KINDA SATTISFACTION N THEY COULD FUCK FOR DAYS AT A TIME. OF COURSE BECCAUSE THEY WERE PAST MASTER O RETTENTION. BYE NOW

IF YA GRAPLE ME TO DA FLOOR I'LL PULL MINE SALAMI OUT, THEN LETS SEE WHO S DA HAPIER!!! AARRGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ME BE AGGAINST NO CARB HI PROTTEIN DIETS, THEY FUK UP YER KIDNEYS IN DA LONG RUN AMMONG OTHER THANGS. SURE PROTTEINS BE IMPORTANT TO BUILD LEAN MASS BUT REMMEMBER, MUSCLE *FUEL* CUMS FROM GLYCCOGEN WHICH CUMS FROM CARBS. SO IN ORDER TO RUN LONG DISTENCES ONE SNEED TO DO CARBO-LOADIN WHICH BE, EAT UP TO 70-80% BY FOOD VOLUME IN CARBS. THAT MEAN GOOD CARBS, NOT SUGAR BUT WHOLE GRAINS, GOOD ITTALIAN PASTA LIKE BARRILLA OR DECHECKO, GOOD WHOLE BREAZD ETC. ALSO, CARBS MEKE YA HAPIER. SEE HOW YA FEEL AFTER A GOOD BOWL O ITTALIAN SPAGHETI AS OPITSITE TO HOW YA FEEL AFTER A STEAK. WHO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT A LITL TUMMY, AAS LONG AS DA SALAMI BE LONG N FAT. RJ

JUST PUT HER ON A BROWN RICE N BEANS DIET, NO AMMERICAN DIET, NO COCACOLA, NO MCDONNALD. CHEW A MOUTHFUL O BOILED BROWN RICE TILL IT LIQUUIFIES IN HER MOUTH, ALSO GIVE UP AMMERICAN COFFEE N DRINK ITTALIAN ESPRESSO ONLY OR JUST GIVE UP COFFEE. ALSO CAROT JUICE. A SHORT CAROT JUICE FAST WOULD HEAL IT. RJ

ANOTHER IMPORTANT POINT WHICH BE ALL-THOUG-OFTEN OVVER-LOOOKED BE, IN OUR ALCHEMMICAL SCHOOL WE USE NOT SPERM BUT SEMEN, WHICH BE TO SSAY, SPREM + SEMINAL FLUID FROM DA PROSTETE GLAND. NOW NOW, IN ORDER TO OBTAIN DA SEMEN, YA NEED TO MIX DA SPERM FROM DA HUEVOS WITH DA SEMMIINAL FLUID FROM DA PROSTITE, IN ORDER TO GET DA SEMEN, WHICH THERRE FORE BE A MIX O WATER N FIRE SO-TO-SPEAK, OR MORE CORECTLY, MILK N WATTER,M DA MILK BEIN DA BULLS' MILK FROM DA HUEVOS, DA WATER BEIN FROM DA PROSTITE. BUE IF YA CUT OFF YER VAS DUCTS, YA WONT BE ABLE TO MIX DA INGREDDIENTS SO AYA WONT BE ABLE TO OPERATE THIS TYPE O ALCHEMMY BUT YALL HAVE TO USE A DIFERENT NON-SEXUAL APROACH. RJ

LOOK, DA JUICE MUST GO SUMWHERE, IN FACT, IT BE WELL-KNOWN THAT DA HUEVOS CAN PRUDUCE BUT *NOT* STORE LARGE AMMOUNTS O CHING. SO IF THEY CANOT STORE IT, YA NEED TO HAVE OPEN CHANELS WHEREBY DA HUEVOS CHING CAN CIRCULLATE IN ORDER TO BE STORED ELSE-WHERE. NOW NOW, YA MAY ASK, WHERE??? WELL, FIRST IN DA BRAIN, SECCUNDLY IN DA BONE-MAROW, THIRDLY IN A CHI PATROL THAT CUIRCULLATES THRU DA ORDINANRY N EXTRA-ORDINNARY CHANELS. BUT IF DA PATHWAY OUTTA DA HUEVOS BE BLOKED, THEN DA HUEVOS SINCE THEY CANOT STORE TOOMUCH CHING, WILL BE FORCED TO STOP PRODDUCIN IT. AS FOR DA TAOISTS' STOPIN TESTOSTERONE PRODUCTION, POOR ME BELLIEVE THAT BE INCORECT. LEMME SHOW YA WHY. WHEN YA SAY TESTOSTERONE, YA USUALY THINK ABOUT DA *EFECTS* O TESTOSTERONE SUCH AS RESTLES-NES, AGRESIVE-NES, N *DA-LIKE*. HOW-EVER, ONCE YA *TRANSFORM* DA TESTOSTERONE, YA AT DA SAME TIME TRANSFORM THOSE FEATTURES OR EFECTS INTO OTHER FEATTURES SUCH AS, LUCID DREAMIN, SPIRRITUAL WILL POWER, ECT. BUT THAT DONT MEAN YA STOPED PRUDICIN TESTOSTERONE, THAT RATHER MEAN YA *TRANFORMED* IT, SO YA ALSO TRANFORMED DA VISIBLE EFECTS O TESTOSTERONE. DA KEY BE TRANSFORMATION, THAT BE, REAL TRUE ALCHEMMY. IN FACT, UNLESS ONE TRANS-FORM IT, PLAIN RETTENTION WILL ACHIEVE SIMMILAR EFECTS O LOWERED PRODUCTION SINCE DA HUEVOS SENSE DA TESTOSTERONE LEVEN IN DA BLOOD N STOP WORKIN AS-WELL. SO TRANS-FORMATION BE DA KEY-WORD, WHICH IN DA TAO SCHOOL BE ACCHIEVED THRU DA CIRCULLATION THRU DA BRAIN. DA BRAIN TURNS DA BLIND CHING INTO INTELECYTUAL LIGHT, THERREAFTER ONE CIRCULLATE DA LIGHT RATHER THAN DA BLIND CHING. SO DA FORMULA BE: RETTENTION + CIRCULLATION + BANG YER WIFE IN DA BUNGAHOWL = MAXIMUM RESSULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEY WHAT BE YA TALKIN ABOUT? ARE YA A WOMAN?? IF SO, I CAN SHOW YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (IF YA BE *NOT* A WOMAN, TRY SHIEKKY FOR THAT). BYE RJ

THEY BE SHRINKIN!!! THEY BE SHRINKIN!!! I TOLD YA NOT TO LET EM TIE UP YER HUEVOS!!! WHAT YA DONT USE YA LOSE. DA TRICK IN ALCHEMMY BE TO KEEP PRODDUCIN HORMONS *WITHOUT* USIN EM UP SO AS TO FIRST ACUMMULATE EM N THEN TRANSFORM EM. JUST GO BACK TO DA DOC, TELL HIM HE BETER REVVERSE DA VAS OR ELSE YALL KIKE HIM ARSE, THEN GO BANG YER WIFE IN DA ARSE-HOWL FOR BITRH CUM-TROL PURPOSSES!!! WOMMEN LOVE IT IN DA ARSE-HOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RJ

CHEK OUT DIS BUDY O' MINE FROM DA MANN THEATRE, HOLLYWWOD CA http://losangeles.craigslist.com/cas/87105669.html

http://www.uruknet.info/?p=m14040&l=i&size=1&hd=0

BRO, LOOK WE SET UP DA BOARD OVER TAOBUM.COM FOR EVVERYBODY TO POST ANNYTHANG WITHOUT ANYONE CENSORRIN IT (SHORT O SPAM N PATTENTLY ILLEGAL SHIT) N I ALSO INVITTED DANNY SEVVERAL TIMES TO CUM OVER WHICH HE DID, BUT YA SEE, BECCAUSE HE'S FREE OVER THERE, HE DONT GET DA SAME THRILL THAT HE GET IN PISSIN OFF DA SELF-RIGHTEOUS ONES OVER DA HT BOARD, SO HE WENT BAK TO DA HT BOARD BECCAUSE IT BE MORE FUN TO SHOK N HARRASS DA SELF RIGHTEOUS ONES THAN TO POST ON MINE BOARD WHERE NOBODY GIVE A SHIT. IN DA LAST ANNALYSIS, AS LONG AS THERE BE DA SELF-RIGHTEOUS ONES THERE 'LL ALWAYS BE DA BALL-BUSTERS. DA POINT BE, WHY SHOULD IT BOTHER YA??? LOOK I TOLD HIM HE'S A MANNIC-DEPPRESEIVE N FLAMMED HIM BUT I NEVER TOLD HIM TO DISAPEAR OR TO GET FLUSHED OFF DA BOARD, I LIKE GIVE-N-TAKE-FISTFIGHTS BUT I DONT LIKE TO COWARDLY NUKE MINE OPONENTS FROM ABBOVE YA KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BYE NOW

THIS DIS-CUSION REMMIND ME WHEN I WAS A YOUNGSTER, SO TO PAY FOR MINE DOPE I GOT A JOB AS A SECCURITY DUDE AT A LOCAL EMMERGENCY ROOM HOSPITEL, SO I USED TO SMOKE DOPE IN DA DOC'S ROOM N THEN PAS OUT ON A CHAIR WHILE EARNIN A FEW BUX IKE THAST. WELL, THERE WAS THIS NEIGHBORHOOD BITCH N SHE WAS HOOKED UOP ON FREEBASIN, BAK THEN THERE WAS NO CRAK, IT WAS CALED FREEBASIN, SO SHE USED TO FREEBASE SHIT N THEN SHE WHOULD DRINK LIKE A 6 PAK O BEER TO CUM DOWN N THEN EVVERY OTHER NITE SHE WOULD SHOW UP AT DA EMMERGENCY ROOM WHININ N BITCHIN N CUM-PLANINI ABOUT CHEST PAIN N SHE WOULD DISTURB MINE ADDOLECENTIAL MEDDITATIONS, SO ONE NITE I GOT IRITATED, SO I HAD THIS TEAR GAS BOTLE FROM DA SECCURITY CUMPANNY I WAQS WORKIN FOR, SO I FIGGURED DA BITTCH AFTRE DRINKIN ALL DAT BEER WOULD ALWAY DEMMAND DA REST-RROOM KEY TO TAKE A PISSL, SO WHEN I SAW DA BITCH CUMMIN ME RUN ITNO DA WOMENS REST-TROOM N SPRAYED DA TEAR GAS SHIT ON DA TOILLEET PAPPER, I SWEAR ME EMPIETED DA HOLE FUKIN BOTLE ON DAT TOILET PAPER, THEN I CARRELESSLY CUM OUT N DA BICH SHOW UP GRINDIN HER TEETH N CALLIN POOR ME NAMES LIKE, ASS-HOWL, DOG, N ALSO, MORRAN, DEN SHE DEMMANDED DA KEY TO DA WOMENS ROOM, SO ME SMILE AT HER BICTH N GO, SURE THANG, MA'AM, COUNT ON ME FOR ANYTHANG YA MAY NEED TO-NNITE, SO SHE GRAB DA KEE WHILE DA PISS START DRIPIN OUTTA HER SICK CUNT, SO SHE RUSH INTO DA REST-ROOM, SO I COUNT TIL 30 N THEN I HEAR AN *ORIFIC* SEQQUENCE O EXTREMMELY SCARRY SHRIEKS, THEN DA BITCH RUN OUTTA DA REST-ROOM WITH HER PUSY EX-POUSSED N HER HANDS ON HER PUSY N SHE RAN OUTTA DA HOSPITEL INTO DA NITGHT.AARRGGHH!! RJ

MAN YER PIC IN THERE LOOK EXTRA COOL NOW!! BTW DANNY BE A COOL TAO BUM NOT TO BE FUKED WITH N HE HAVE DA RIGHT LIKE ANYBODY ELSE TO EXPRES HIMSELF OVER DA INTER-NET. RJ

O PRINCES, ARE YA SUM KINDA BODY-WORKER O SORTS, SAY? YER MASTER-SHIP O ANATOMICAL NOMMENCLATURE BETTRAY A FORE0-KNOWLEDGE THERREOF. LOOK *DA NOTTORIOUS* BE AN AMMATUER TRIGER-POINT THERRAPY PRAQCTITIONER (BESIDES BEIN A REICHIAN PSYCCOTHERAPPIST, A PR0N ACTOR, A CHEF EXTRAORDINAIRE, A LOVER SUPPREME, A LINGUIST, A PATTRIOT, N FINNALY AN HUMLE TAO BUM PRACTITIONER. AARRGHH I NEED A MASAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL INTENT. YA CAN INVENT DA WAY IF YA HAVE DA INTENT.

JUST SUK SUM TABASCO OR TAPATIO SAUCE, THEN SHOVE YER TONGUE DEEP INTO DA BITCHES PEACH, THEN COUNT TIL 5 N THEN RUN LIKE DA DEVIL. PS: SHUT UP SPYRROLEX, YA WORTHLESS CAMEL RAPIST.

SO YA FINNALLY ADMIT TO YER HAVIN HUEVOS AS WELL. COOL. BTW CHEK OUT SHIEKKY'S ALL NEW PEGE ON TAOBUM.COM AARRGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!! DA TAO BUM MAFFIA (IT DONT EXIST!!!)

CHEK OUT JOHANN GEORG GICHTEL, HE WAS A CHRISTIAN MYSTIC WHO KNEW ABOUT DA CHAKRAS: http://www.ways-of-christ.net/images/gichtel.htm AS FAR AS PURE BUDHISM, IT AINT GOT NOTHANG TO DO WITH ALCHEMMY, IN FACT, ALCHEMMICAL PRACTICES BE EXPLICITELY FORBIDEN BY DA HINNAYANA MONKS (DA MAHAYANA BE A DIFERENT PAIR O HUEVOS THOU). MINE VIEW BE THAT ALCHEMMY BE *MORE* PRIMMORDIAL THAN BUDHISM. ALSO, DA TAOIST CANON SAY THAT DA CHINAMEN LEARNED ALCHEMY FROM DA WHITE FOLKS FROM DA SKY. CHEK OUT LEVITY.COM AS WEL. BYE NOW RJ

MATE USE A CLAY PLASTER ON YER HUEVO AS WEL AS MASAGIN WITH CASTOR OIL. ALSO SHIEKKY WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT DA CUM-DITION O YER ANUS AS WELL. DA TAO BUM MAFIA (IT DONT EXIST!)

TAKE POWER NAPS. A FEW MINNUTES NAP WHILE PRACTICIN DREAM YOGA. ALTERNATTIVELY, SMOKE CRAK N/OR ICE, THEN YA CAN GO ON WITH LITLE SLEEP. BYE NOW

http://taobum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=182 TAO BUM REVOLUTION NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT WERENT YA SUPOSED TO HAVE STOPED ALL POSTIN YA SAUSAGE JOCKEY??? HEARKEN ME YA GENNERATION O VIPERS, DA IMORTAL PRACTICE BE: *CIRCULLATIN DA RETTAINED CHING WHILE IN DA DREAM-STATE* DO YA HEAR ME? LEMME SAY THAT AGGAIN: *CIRCULLATIN DA RETTAINED CHING WHILE IN DA DREAM-STATE* HOW-EVER, BITCHES GOTTA GROW A SALAMI FIRST!!! AARRGGHH!!

ME AT A BIKER PARTY (IF LOZEN WANT I GOT A NUDE ONE AS WELL):