DreamBliss

Nikolai1 and Yasjua, I really have no words... Just this feeling of appreciation. I appreciate what both of you have said, what you have pointed out, and your support. I think it is time I set an intention to be surrounded by people exactly like you, wherever I end up in the physical world, should I leave home as I intended this summer. People who support you and help you grow, not by critisizng you, but lovingly challenging you. People who support you and are there for you when you need them. As both of you have been for me. I want to be that person for both of you,, those I call friends here at Dao Bums and anyone else I encounter, whether I perceieve them as friends or not. I am filled with so much love and grattitude for you right now, thank you!

I have returned. A few things to say, some off-subject. It is irrelevant if there is a subconsious mind or not. What is relevant is this... What viewpoint empowers me? The answer is the view that there is only the conscious mind. In it are the things of which I am aware and the things of which I am not aware. This view enables me to take full responsibility for my level of awareness. It means I am not operating on some programming hidden away somewhere inside my mind. I can access anything, any belief, feeling or thought, and become aware of it. I can change these once I become aware of them. I can not be programmed. It is not some difficult process to change my beliefs or thoughts. The only diffculty comes in being attached to any of that, or adverse to any of that. To make any of that a part of my identity. If I do that then I suffer. So it all comes down to awareness. Some things I do consiosly without awareness. Other things I do consiously with full awarness. My practice is to be fully aware, conscious and present. I am done with believing what others say, if it disempowers me in any way, no matter what proof they may present. I don't care how authoritive or experienced the sources may be. I choose only those things that empower me and which have proven true in my own experience. Bringing me to what I intend to be some of my last words on LoA here at this forum. I have proven the LoA teachings true in my own experince. I manifested the money I needed, without effort or trying on my part, without taking away from anyone or anything, to purchase a ticket to the, "I Am Light" conference happening in Portland, right across the river from me, on April 19th. I have no employemnt, and have been unemployed for some time now. Yet I earned well over $200.00. If you want the whole story, go here: https://blisswriter.wordpress.com/2015/02/13/as-posted-in-a-comment-i-made-at-the-i-am-light-event-page-on-facebook/ I have seen no evidence that the universe does not operate exactly as Abraham, Seth and others of similar teachings have said, going back thousands of years. It is even in the Bible, the passage where Jesus says something about, "What father gives his child a stone when he asks for bread?" Also the whole, "Consider the lillies..." bit. If you want to believe that the universe does not work that way, that is your choice. But for me, personally, I like the idea of a universe that gives you exactly what you ask for, whether you want it or not. I have already gone over the reasons at various places. But in short it makes people take responsibiity for their thoughts and ultimately for their life experience. It encourages awareness, consiousness and present-mindedness. It empowers people, yet removes all excuses. If your life sucks, you made it suck, and you have to make it un-suck. Plain and simple, same as any true teaching, in my expreience. I feel the need to defend myself against the words of a certain poster in this thread. This person who said I was running away, putting my fingers in my ears, etc. Well I did, tried on some statements and swear words. But I have decided to delete these and replace them with these words. Because if I strike out against the things this person has said I will only give those statements power over me. This person can only be my enemy f I perceieve him or her to be. Their words can only affect me if I let them. It bothers me what they have said about me, but only my ego is concnered with appearances. It also just occured to me that this person is suffering enough. That I want to create openess in others, space to change. I do not want to be the cause for someone to close themselves off, or cause anyone to suffer. It doesn't do them any good if I attack them, and it really doesn't do anything for me either. I might think it will make me feel better, but in all honesty, I think I would feel worse. I chose to do, say and think things that cause me to feel good. That open me, allow me to be receptive and make me feel lighter. Learning how to make this choice is also part of the LoA teachings. I have had to live with people all my life who constantly, constantly say how they can't do that or afford this. Who blame others for the things that happen to them. Who continue to follow an obviously flawed religion and its associated beliefs. I have been surrounded by that my whole life, but I have chosen to think differently. I will no longer argue with you. I will no longer try to change you. I will leave you, and people like my parents, to live the lives you have chosen. To play your game, your role. To walk your path. But your game, your role and your path are not mine! I have absolutely no interest in the things you believe and call true. Someday I will be in that place or state where you can not engage me. I will simply remain disengaged, fully aware, fully consious, fully present, just allowing you to be as you are, but not getting caught up in iin the things you do or say. I will be as I was, or more as I was, when I was able to sit there, eating my breakfast, while my brother threw stuff around the room. If i had been as I was before in that situation I would have gotten caught up in trying to change my brother, I would have engaged with him, and we would have ended up fighting. But not that time, and I will never forget it! Christian teachings did not bring me there. Buddhist, Taoist and any other ist religious teachings did not bring me there. Manifestation teachings did. This stuff you call New Age. Eckhart Tolle, Ram Dass, Jane Roberts, Abraham-Hicks, Wayne Dyer. These are the teachers that brough me there. Advaitist teachers, from what I had read over a year ago, brought me there. To that place where I was in the ocean, not tossed about on the waves. I wish I had been able to be there during the time I have spent in this thread. And that's really all I have to say about this. I am now in the process of manifesting money for food and travel expenses, as well as a room to stay in after the conference. For those interested in my progress, check in at my blog sometime near the end of next month. Once I have manifested the money I will be reserving a room and sharing my experiences. Peace out!

I have just found my role model for when I hit the big 7 0...

You are correct. I did get defensive in this thread. Also, as I have said to others, I was not as loving as I would like with any of my repsonses. I think I understand what you are saying. I apologize for any words that could have or may have given offence. I admit to coming here, gun locked and loaded, ready to fight. This is a very raw subject with me, obviously. Even if I was defensive and not as loving as I would have liked, I have been authentic and honest. I have told my truth here, and I hope any Truth, or pointing to the Truth, in my words, finds its mark.

OK, I have fought with this for a few hours now and I am throwing in the towel. If you must know the reasons and specifics, PM me. To put it simply I have a picture of a woman dancing, and I would like to track down other images of her. In order to do that I need her name. In order to get her name I need to translate Chinese symbols in a corner of the image, as I assume it is in there. I have tried an OCR online thing I found, I have tried drawing them. Ever drawn Kanji with your mouse? If you run out of meditation practices of interest, try learning to draw Kanji with a mouse. I assure you that all thinking will quickly cease... Is it Kanji or something else if it is Chinese? I know Kanji are Japanese but... Well wandering off subject. I have attached only the cropped part of the image that has the symbols. You will probably figure out, when translating them, why I did not share the rest of the image... If someone could please, pretty pretty please, find the name of this woman in these symbols and post that I would be extremely grateful! Thank you!

Well thank you for the advice. I have since given up. I had a quote from Capote about writing and music. I wanted to place that in a 1920x1080 image of a nude female dancer. But nothing sexual and no obvious details, just obviously nude. Maybe backlit or taken from the side in certain poses? Also none of these freaky looking ballerina types with excessive musculature. Something feminine, lithe, sensous, an expression of beauty. Part of a way of making a statement using a theme on my computer about nudity and sexuality. Well the image those symbols came from showed a dancer of possibly Asian origin at some temple somewhere, dancing with a red cloth of some sort, nude. But its not the right size for wallpaper. If I found the rest of her set maybe there would have been something there. I spent the last few days looking, and I just gotta say I am tired of seeing what I have been seeing. I find it very difficult to search for certain things on the internet, and that is all I will say about that. Maybe others have ite easier. So yeah, throwing in the towel, calling it quits, etc. Found a clothed female dancing by the ocean that I will use for now. I know this much, it works. Writing has finally taken precadence in my life as a result of these little themes I have made for myself! Thanks again everyone for your help and posts!

Thank you for translating that. I appreciate it. Guess it will be hard for me to track down this model. Well that's how things go. I wouldn't advise visiting that site. Its content was not previously, maybe not now, uh... Child friendly? Would that be a good way to put it?

Huh, I get this from Google: Chloe original Chinese photographer Presumably then Chloe is part of the name? Thank you for posting that!

So am I. I thought the red characters were the actual name of the model.

I know I got very personal and raw in that thread. I was thinking about it later and I had doubts I was a loving as would like to be. I am only just learning that it is not up to me to change, convince or persuade anyone. I am apologizing for any offense. I can not take responsibility for your being offended. You have to choose to be offended or not. But if I said anything that caused anyone to take offense, I am truly and deeply sorry. I hope Flo received the information they needed, wanted or not. I can understand her wanting the thread hidden or removed. I agree that a moderator should not abuse their power. But I also agree that a poster, moderator or otherwise, should be allowed to have a thread closed, hidden or removed. I think the main motivation behind any action of any forum member, moderator or otherwise, should be love. At this moment it seems to me it is more loving to allow Flo to have this thread hidden. The subject was indeed very private and sensitive. However Flo should have been aware of that when she started the thread. If the material could logically progress to where it is too private and sensitive, perhaps she would have been better off hesitating for a bit on that post button. But this is only my opinion, and I do not mean to criticize or judge. I have saved the thread up to page 6 and my last posts if any individual poster wants to PM me and request their material by name. I will give them only the words they posted and nothing else. I will keep the thread, as much of it as I have, for archival purposes in case it ever needs to be referred back to. Pretty much though I am going to respect Flo's request here. Flo, my offer to be here if you need or want to talk, or have someone listen, stands.

C T I admit you may be right, and there may be folks out there than can cultivate and utilize sexual energy. But I also admit that in my experience it is better to keep things clear and simple. All this stuff about cultivating and utilizing sexual energy sounds as far out to me as someone levitating during meditation. I am sure it happens, and just as sure it is not common. We don't need mystical solutions here from spiritual masters. We need practical solutions that anyone can practice, right here, right now, in this moment. For the record, I have tried resistance, self-discipline, self-control. I learned to ask God for forgiveness every time I masturbated. I beat and punished myself. I put myself through hell over this, and all over a wrong premise. That sex is somehow wrong, that the urge is somehow bad, undesirable, unwanted or wrong. That sexual energy must be channeled, controlled or fixed. All complete and utter bullshit! Only in acceptance, of myself, of my sexual urges, of my sexual natural, of my sexuality. Only in coming face to face with what I perceived at the time to be sexual issues, did they decrease. But I could not seek to control them, anymore than I could see them as issues. Because trying to control something means you admit it has power over you, it is stronger than you and you have to wrestle it into submission. Very much like Jacob wrestling God, and we all know how that turned out! Also seeing it as an issue makes it become an issue. Again it is a perception thing. Only in perceiving this as something natural, a natural function of a perfect body, in love and acceptance of it and myself, have I finally been able to come to a point where I no longer feel ashamed, fearful or guilty about sex. That was the only way to free myself from the baggage I was carrying around. That was the only way to experience any decrease in my urges and their previous power over me. Some of us don't have the benefit of some sexual master somewhere who can cultivate his sexual energy like he tends to his garden, or channel its energy into something. To me it sounds overcomplicated, like putting legs on a snake. But I am allowing, open and receptive. If that really is the best way, the highest vibration or level way, then I invite you to show it to me. Take some time out of your busy schedule and come here, to where I live, and show me the practice. Otherwise your words are as useless, and possibly as harmful, as the energy behind the anointing oil that was poured over my head. At this moment your words are useless. Give me something I can put into practice and use! More importantly, give the OP something she can put into practice and use. The quickest way to get rid of a perceived enemy is to turn them into your friend. The quickest way to do that is to see them as your friend. The quickest way to get rid of a perceived problem is to turn it into an opportunity. The quickest way to do that is to see it as an opportunity, a learning experience, a chance to practice. The problem exists only in perception, not in reality. Change perception, change reality. Embrace sex like a friend and see how long you have what you perceive to be sexual issues!

This perpetuates a problem in society, that everything can be magically fixed with a pill. Once again, the cause must me addressed, not the symptom. The physical body is perfect as it is, and the sooner mankind collectively begins to believe this, the sooner we will be free of the "reality" of physical issues.

Self control and self discipline are forms of denial. Denial is repression. Repression reinforces this unwanted expression of sexuality. Acceptance is the key, not enunciation.

I have decided to delete this response.

Flolfolil I am making this public instead of a PM, because our society has repressed sex, and all subjects related to it, which is the root of your problem. Please read the whole thing, I know there is a lot there but it is to your benefit. Everyone else I am about to get very graphic and personal, so consider yourself warned! I am also not reading this thread before replying. It's time to get fucking real (lots of swearing ahead!) Flolfolil Do not, I repeat, do not, try to turn your sexuality off! Do not fuck up your body, your physical form is perfect, you are perfect, and you are exactly as you are supposed to be. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with you! Even if you were to have sex every hour of every day of your life with everything you could get to have sex with you, you would still be perfect. There would still be nothing wrong with you. IT IS NOT WRONG TO HAVE SEX, EVEN COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SEX! IT IS A NATURAL BODY FUNCTION NO MORE IMPORTANT OR SPECIAL THAN TAKING A SHIT! There seem to be multiple spiritual paths people tend to walk. The one that seems to have more authority is the path of renunciation. Food, sex, wealth. You keep yourself from things. You close yourself off to the provision of the Universe, thinking that perhaps, if you suffer, you are more spiritually evolved. You will reach enlightenment. I am sorry but I have to say this... In my opinion that makes you no fucking better than a Catholic Flagellant! I do not admire people who beat on, deny or repress themselves in any capacity. They have the right to live how they wish, that is their game, their path. But I find nothing admirable in it. In my opinion, Ryokan was a fool. Maybe that was how he wanted to live, cold, miserable, pretty much homeless, begging from place to place, wearing a thin, tattered robe. But that is a terrible life experience! Life does not have to be hard. It should be thoroughly and well lived. I fail to see how someone in that sort of life experience can actually be living life at all. The other path is one of acceptance. It is the martial arts path of living and spirituality. The universe is inclusive, not exclusive, so this path is in harmony with the natural order of things. You accept anything, everything that comes your way. You use its energy against it as needed. You can enjoy food, sex, wealth. You are free to live your life in whatever way you desire, and furthermore, you can create the reality you desire. No enunciate has this ability. This is the flaw in institutionalized and organized religion. It is seen as better to cut yourself of from certain things, deemed by the beliefs and teachings to be bad, wrong or not spiritual. Christians are at war with sin. Buddhists are, indirectly as I see it, at war with excess. But all religions, that I know of, have one thing in common. Sex is bad, evil or unwanted. ITS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO BE AWARE THAT THIS IS A SOCIETAL CONTROL MECHANISM! IT EXISTS PURELY TO CREATE A FUNCTIONAL SOCIETY! IT CONTROLS THE MALE BY KEEPING WHAT IS DESIRED, THE FEMALE AND THE DRIVE TO MATE WITH HER, JUST OUT OF REACH! Osho, in, "Sex Matters" explains this very well. For a modern, stable society sex can not become spiritual. I advise you to read this book immediately: http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Matters-Osho/dp/0312316305/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424258350 Which brings us to what is driving you. You are sexually repressed. I repeat, you are sexually repressed! There is fear, guilt and shame in your sexuality, your sexual nature. If anyone is a fucking authority at this forums on that, I am! I am extremely sexually active, and just as repressed. I have spent the last year or so finally working through this. I came to a point in my life and my spiritual development where I could do that. Sex got twisted for me when my brother caught me masturbating outside. My parents called the church and had the elders of that church, as well as the pastor, come over to anoint my head with oil. It may not sound like much, written here in words. But imagine a teenage man, surrounded by males, anointing his head with oil, because he has masturbated, which his parents, and apparently these men, believe is a sin. Yet it is not in the Bible at all. Now everyone knows about it and the young man feels as if there is something wrong with him. You have no fucking idea what that does to a person! Imagine living your life for 20 years, highly sexual, driven nearly insane and nearly suicidal in your desire to have sex with someone, and being a Christian, where your own belief system, your own religion, a part of your identity, tells you that you are bad, wrong, a sinner for masturbating. Imagine being pretty much forced to not have sex as a result of this. I ate my fear, guilt and shame. I became overweight, undesirable by human physical standards. Now I am 39 fucking years old and I have never even had a female undress in front of me, much less have sex with me! I am hanging it all out here, saying this in public. because it is so very important you understand me, that you hear what I am trying to say to you. I hope you are at a level, at place, where you can hear this and understand me. It is your fear, guilt, shame and all the other negative emotions you have, some if not all hidden from your awareness, behind sex that is causing this behavior you perceive to be undesirable. It is your beliefs, those thoughts that you have thought so much they have become a habitual thought pattern, the way you think and live, that is behind this. In short what you believe, feel and think about sex is behind this. You have to let it go. You have to start a practice, every day, of admitting, allowing and accepting your beliefs, thoughts and feelings about sex, whenever it comes it. Then in your acceptance you have to embrace them, open your arms, release them and let them go. You may need to start each day with statements that empower you. To start with, every time you come in front fo a mirror, look into your eyes and say, "I love and accept you as you are." When you love and accept yourself as you are, complete with your sexual desires, nature and urges, you remove the power of these unwanted things over you. Right now you are fighting them, resisting them. You are looking to change things externally. You are, in essence, saying, "I will be happy when I no longer desire to have sex." You can never loose your desire to mate. It is a natural human function. You can no more get rid of it then the need to breath, eat food, or the urge to go to the bathroom. You would have better luck getting rid of the desire to wipe your nose when it runs! I am going to be harsh now... If you are serious about stopping your sexual desires. then your only choice is to commit suicide! If you are unable to love and accept yourself as you are, all aspects of yourself including the physical form you wear and its needs, you are better off dead. There will be no more pain and struggle. But you will learn nothing. You chose this life you are experiencing. Seriously, you did. Just as I chose to be 39 years old and a virgin. A running joke with my family. "Oh he's going to be a 40 year old virgin!" I fucking hate that movie! You can call it destiny, fate or karma. I prefer to think of it as this is the life experience you have chosen. That you came here to experience this and learn from this experience. So you can complain that the classes are too damn hard and kill yourself. But to do so over something you have the power to change shows stupidity and a weakness of character. I choose to believe that you are stronger than that. That you can get the fuck through this. That you can choose to love and accept yourself as you are, in your entirety. That you can release all the garbage you have collected around sex. That you can embrace your sexual nature and sexuality. That you can transform it from the level of desire and lust, the lowest vibration or level, which is where most of the rest of humanity is at, and raise the bar. You can actually make sex a part of your spiritual practice! That is the path I have chosen. It is not easy, the course work is rigorous. It takes someone of a lot of determination and strength to do this. But I choose to invest my belief energy into you, that you are determined and strong enough. Sex should be easy, free and relaxed. At the same time it should be aware and conscious, in the present moment. It should be something like a prayer. When you are making love to another, you are making love to yourself and the universe. You are making love to the entire world. You are making love to God. When you have sex, whatever the physical form of your lover, you are really making love to God. Obviously you want to please Him! So breathe deeply, be fully aware and conscious, and get lost in the experience. Let there be no thoughts of time, of past or future. No thoughts, sex as a meditation. Children should be consciously brought into the world, and can be, when sex becomes a divine, spiritual practice. The problem is that mankind's religions have twisted sex, and the result is the explosion of our population. Because few if any are brought into the world consciously. Mankind, in general, mates like rabbits and has litters of children like rabbits. We are worse than the animals, who at least, in their natural environment, have no hangups or baggage around sex. Mankind has all these hangups, how people should look, ideals of beauty, what is appropriate - just a bunch of shit. That's all it is. There should never be any fear, guilt or shame around sex, sexuality, or the naked human form. As long as mankind has these stupid, inane beauty standards and taboos, we are going to see more and more sexual perversion. That is why there is an LGBT part of society, and why, when it comes down to it, people like you and I, who seem to have little if any control over our sexual urges. I have to fight with this urge to take off my clothes and run around naked, or masturbate, or both, seemingly all the time. I have unwanted sexual thoughts. The only thing that is helping is the admit, allow and accept process. I have tried pretty much everything else. I have come to understand that I need to love and accept myself as I am. I need to throw out all fear, guilt and shame around being naked or masturbating. I need to determine to make sex a spiritual practice. I have set my intention to do thee things - I am doing these things. This is the reality I have created and, through my practice, am manifesting for myself. I have just started on that path. From now on, when I masturbate, I will breathe deeply, becoming aware, becoming conscious and taking my time. If my parents walk in I will say, "Excuse me, can I help you?" and if they don't leave, I will. No anger towards them or myself. No fear, guilt or shame. No criticism or judgment of myself or them. As far as I am concerned I have the right to pleasure myself, it is now a part of my spiritual practice! I have determined to refuse to allow anyone to take control of me through the channels of sex. I claim my right to choose to have sex with anyone who wants to have sex with me, any willing female, and I will not be ashamed or feel guilty about it! Only when I am with the one I will share my life with will I be choose only her. But my loyalty to her will go beyond any piece of paper or wedding vows. At the same time, while I am free to enjoy sex, when I am with someone, when that day comes, I am determined to, I have set an intention to, take it to the spiritual level, the highest vibration level, that I can reach. To breathe deep, becoming aware and conscious, and to be sure that if I bring a child into the world, it is done consciously. Otherwise I will not bring one into the world. I have no idea how all this is supposed to work. I will have to learn as as I go. I will share what I have learned at my blog. Here is an article I recently wrote about sex: https://blisswriter.wordpress.com/2015/02/16/the-path-to-spiritiual-sex/ No more hiding. No more being ashamed. No more fear. No more guilt. Only love and acceptance. Loving and accepting yourself even if you fuck every man in a 10 square mile radius of your home. Realizing you are perfect, there is nothing wrong with you. As you learn to love and accept yourself as you are, as you release these deep seated beliefs, feelings and thoughts you have about sex, change occurs. You will change. Set your intention now, the woman you desire to be, how you desire to behave. Focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. If you focus on not wanting sex, you will create experience of more sex, which is what you don't want. Think in lines of being free to choose your partner. Of being able to decide for yourself if and when you have sex. You choose whether or not to have sex, it is your choice. Focus on what you want, what empowers you. Start with where you are now. When those sharp stabs of guilt or shame come in, acknowledge them. Admit and allow all you are believing, feeling or thinking at that moment. Admit and allow those beliefs, feelings and thoughts. Accept them, embracing them in your acceptance. Think of them like quirky house guests that you have had a lot of time to get to know. But bow it is time for them to go home, so embrace them, say goodby, release your arms and let them go. Release the energy of these things back to the Source or the Universe. Or God if you prefer. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about sex, become aware. Be aware of your thoughts and what you feel. Be aware of how you feel. Bring your awareness into it. Never criticize or judge yourself! Never! Don't criticize or judge anyone else either. Keep the focus on you, what is going on in this moment, moment by moment. As you become aware of your thoughts choose thoughts that empower you, electrify you, make you feel better. Just continue that process, for as long as it takes. Visualize the person you want to be, how you want to be, in matters of sex and sexuality. See that woman in your mind's eye every time sex comes up. Don't sit there and force that image to be there. Just whenever sex comes up, glance inside to see that woman, become aware of your thoughts, and choose something that feels better. Rinse and repeat as much as needed. I have given you a lot to process here I advise you print this out and save it on your hard drive. Take from this what feels right to you, what empowers you. Remember that at best I can point to the truth, but you have to choose to start walking. You have to experience it for yourself. I have done all I can do here. You may PM me anytime you need someone to talk to, or just to listen to you. Bookmark my blog, because I will be posting more on sex as I come to learn the truth behind that in my own experience and share it. I am determined to go after sexual repression Bruce Lee style. I am removing its power by binging it out, kicking and screaming, into the light. Out where everyone can see it. No more hiding this. I am fucking tired of people hiding sex like they might hide a fart in public! As if it is somehow embarrassing and wrong. Sure, farts may stink and sex maybe isn't always the most beautiful thing to look at, but we tried it the religious way, and look at the results all around you! Time to try something different... I have saved this thread and can PM these words to you as needed. P.S. I have read in your other posts that you have a partner. Tell them about this, lay it all out, be authentic and honest with yourself and them! By doing so you remove more of the power you have given this thing over you!

Thank you everyone for your replies. I apologize that this thread wandered so far into LoA territory. That was not my intention and I accept full responsibility. I find myself feeling hurt, desiring to defend myself. I know that is coming from the ego. I am not in that state of being or place where I can be aware of what is going on around me, but not caught up or engaged in it. I feel as if I have become more argumentative than loving. That is not my chosen practice. I think I see what the mirror of your replies here is telling me. But I need to step away for a while. So I intend for this to be my last reply. I am abandoning this thread. If there is anything else anyone wants to say to me on this subject please do so by 12:00 AM tomorrow evening. I will visit one last time, save the pages, and leave. I feel that all my life I have had people telling me that life is not in my control. It's in God's control, or that's just the way the world is, or something. I have always felt so powerless, as if I could not change anything out there in the world I did not like. As if I could not change anything in my life I did not like. I was told I was imperfect, a sinner and that I needed to be "saved." As a result I had low self esteem and was extremely self conscious. I became depressed, then angry, then full of rage. All the happiness was sucked right out of my life. I hid away in my room with my nose in a book or in front of a computer screen. I grew up, essentially, online. Lost friends due to my stupid beliefs, which seemed to mean so much at the time. Argued my case until the mass of torn flesh I was beating on was not recognizable as a dead horse. So when I found these teachings of Abraham, Seth and others I clung to them like a drowning man would to a scrap of wood on the waves. Finally I had a way to change what I wanted out there, starting with changing things in here! I had the power to change things. I could ask for things, not worrying if it was God's will for me to have them or not. And it worked! At least in my perception. I asked, and I received. I finally found a way through, a way to provide for myself the life I wanted, and to provide for my future family as well. Hell I could provide for myself a future family! But with this thread and others here at the Tao Bums, I feel as if people are trying to take this away from me. My last hope, the only reason to keep going. I learned my lesson from when I was a Christian, I have to accept, and I do accept, that these people may be right. But if they are, then what? What is left? If the world is the way it is, and I have no power to change it or my own life, what then? I will drop these beliefs if they prove to be false in my own experience. Until then I choose to hold on to them. But I don't want to be in an environment that seems hostile to my choice. So I am stepping away for a while. When I do return, I am setting an intention to refrain from talking about LoA here, like a child who would avoid showing a crayon drawing to the mean adult who always criticizes it. So I will be back, but I am going to take a break for now. Work through things, figure things out. I don't want to be in an environment that causes me to have doubt, fear or worry about something I have chosen, at this time, to believe. In short, being here, at these forums, at this time, does not feel good. It hurts me. I am not a masochist, whatever other ist you may think me to be. I do not enjoy pain, either having it inflicted on me or giving it to others. For now I wish to stick with those things that empower and support me, to surround myself with those things. Blessings and love to all of you!

OK, now back to the subject at hand... Is there such a thing as a subconscious or unconscious mind?

I guess the way I see it is that in order for me to buy any LoA teaching related stuff, like books or seminar seats, I would have to manifest the money first. In other words, the teachings would have to work in order for me to go. I see this as a sort of challenge. I want to go see Wayne Dyer in Portland on April 19th. I must have $175.00 by March 19th for early registration. The price doubles after that. I could complain about the price. I could criticize or judge Mr. Dyer. Or I can see this as a way to apply what I have been learning, have faith the Universe provides, and leave it in its capable hands. Which is what I have done. I have set my intention, made my request, and now the practice is to be allowing, open and receptive. The main thing I am struggling with is this "meant to go" mentality, a mutated form of my previous Christian belief in "god's will." Maybe I will get to go, maybe not. I will continue a practice of no attachment, no aversion, or nonchalance if you prefer. Whatever happens happens. I can't control the actions of those teaching LoA. I can't change what they are charging for things. But I am not going to spend my energy criticizing or judging them. It's none of my business. My business, my focus, is on how I see things. I work on that, work on my mindset and perception so that I am allowing, open and receptive. If I was to criticize or judge I would effectively close myself off from the provision of the Universe. What they do that have to live with. So the practice here is to see that this is their game, this is their path, and to leave them to it. I just continue to walk my own path. Besides money is just paper with an agreed-upon value. It has no more value than toilet paper outside human society. It is a tool, to be used as needed or wanted. The practice here is to stop obsessing over how much I spend or what things cost. Again being allowing, open and receptive. Having faith that money is provided. Spending whatever I have for any purpose without reservation. In the end, despite the fact I have no steady employment, I find money and opportunities to earn it have just come to me, without any effort or trying on my part, outside of remaining in a mindset of allowing, openness and receptivity. Obesseing over or worrying about money just makes us poorer. My parents taught me that by their example, and I have experienced it for myself.

Thank you for your opinion. You are correct, I asked for it. It must be awesome to have psychic powers! I don't even know what my response will be to any given thing until I encounter it! I am surprised to see such strong opinions against LoA, offered without anything to back them up. I had a similar mindset when I was a Christian, against anything that went against my beliefs. Plenty of heated opinions I would defend at the cost of friendship and forum accounts, no real proof to back them up. I hope that someday, when you are ready, you will find your way out of this cage. I speak to you as one who has been steadily deconstructing many of my own cages in which I trapped myself.

As I understand it, trying (doing something in order to make it work) doesn't work. Any more than trying to become enlightened would work. There is this idea that if we work hard enough at something we can make it happen. But all that really does is create more work for us. Also you can only buy a lotto ticket out of a mindset that would keep you from winning it. Same as if you were to steal things to make money. Somewhere there is this idea that money (a lot of it) will bring a desirable experience, typically happiness. But happiness that depends on money only lasts as long as the money does. The key is to live the life you came here to experience, because in living that life, joy and happiness are the natural byproducts. This is a happiness that does not depend on circumstances. The question to ask yourself is whether or not the things you are doing in your life right now are enjoyable, fulfilling and meaningful. If not then the next question is what are the things you can do in your life that you would enjoy, that you would find to be fulfilling and meaningful?

Thank you for your reply. I feel compelled to ask... In what way, in your perception, are LoA teachings detrimental to growth and development?

Well considering I have come from Christianity, positive thinking, mysticism, and mental studies, I can say with a fair amount of certainty I have traveled through many cups, as you call them, so far. So the process is familiar to me. For now, however, I would prefer to stay away from containers altogether. Containers are limited, Being or Source is limitless. I choose limitlessness.

Thank you for sharing that. Some clarity needed here... When I say I am throwing out the concept or idea of the subconscious or unconscious mind, it just means that I used to believe in its existence. I subscribed to the iceberg idea. I am simply no longer subscribing. Maybe it does exist. Maybe it doesn't. I am letting it exist or not exist and not investing my energy in a belief in either state. Think of it like an email newsletter I used to get in my email. I can throw it out, but that does not mean I deny its existence. I can unsubscribe, but again I am not denying its existence. Years may pass, I may never visit the site again and I never get another email. So the newsletter could exist, or it may no longer exist, but I am not aware of either state, as I am not subscribed to it anymore. There is no denial here, no oppression, repression or suppression. There is a belief I picked up, held for a while, and have now dropped. Also just dropped the whole idea of programming moments ago too. I realized that this was tied in with it. If I experience the truth of the subconscious or unconscious mind for myself, then I can choose to pick it up again. As it has not proven true in my own experience I am not holding on to it anymore. It is really that simple. I have never seen the planets out there in the solar system. For that matter I have never seen the solar system. I can see the moon, the sun and the stars. I can agree with what others tell me these things are. But the moon could be made of cheese or rock for all I know, and I will never know unless I set foot there myself. There could be other planets but I will never know for sure unless I hop into a spaceship and head out to mars. All I have right now are the pictures and words of others - no physical evidence whatsoever. I could drop any belief in what the moon is made of, and whether or not there are other planets, and it will make no difference. It is not a denial of their reality. How can I deny something that is not real for me? When it comes down to it this is just acceptance of their unreality in my own personal experience. However I have experienced the truth of the LoA teachings for myself, many times now. They have proven true in my own personal experience. They are more real to me than the content of the moon or the existence of any planets outside this one. They are more real to me than this concept or idea of the subconscious or unconscious mind. They empower me. As long as they continue to prove true. I will consider them to be true, or a direct pointing to the truth. I will teach others as if they are true, or a direct pointing to the truth. Now I ask you, can you prove, categorically and scientifically that the concept or idea of a subconscious or unconscious mind is true? Have you experienced this for yourself? I know you can tell me about mental states. Things like self-hypnosis, dreams, alpha, beta and theta waves, the effect of meditation. But can you prove any of this is going on anywhere else other than consciously? If you can't, why would you choose to believe it? What benefit can you possibly gain by believing in some hidden aspect or part of your mind? I don't know about any of these court cases you are referring to. Have you any links to these? Can you prove that the conscious mind is not just a bird in a cage? Where did you get the idea I wanted to release it? Have you actually tried the LoA teachings? By tried I mean dropped all your beliefs and resistance to them, opened yourself to them, and applied them. Because if you tried them, believing as it seems obvious you believe now, there is no way they could be proven true in your own experience. As far as, "Emotional Guidance System" this is a phrase from Abraham. What it refers to is how the things you choose to think make you feel. If you are considering hurting yourself or another, chances are you do not feel good about it. If someone says something to you that demeans you or takes away your power, chances are you do not feel good about it. That not good feeling is telling you that what you are thinking about or what others are saying about you is not in alignment with the truth of who you really are. When a course of action or thought makes you feel good (I like to add that it also makes you feel light, like I felt when I released and let go of my beliefs in the concept or idea of the subconscious or unconscious mind) that is in alignment with who you really are, the truth about You. When you use this to guide you in the things you do and the thoughts you think, you will experience happiness and joy. You will be living in alignment with your Self. When you are joyless and unhappy you are not living in alignment with your Self. You are not living the life you came here to experience. That is the whole concept or idea of the emotional guidance system. One last thing... What you makes you think it is wrong to be selfish? What is selfishness? How would you define it exactly? What does the concept or idea of selfishness mean to you? Is there a difference between selfishness and being self centered? Why is it wrong, exactly, to be either? As for me I am Selfish and Self-Centered. I choose to believe in things that empower me and bring me into alignment with my Self. I choose to live my life centered in my Self. By Self, in case this is not obvious, I mean my Higher Self or Soul or Spirit or Inner Self or Being or whatever you want to call it. As I understand it, selfishness and being self-centered typically refer to a person doing things for themselves at the expense of others. They would have to be driven by a mindset of lack or limitation. Interestingly, the LoA teachings instruct that such a mindset blocks you from your good. Instead we are instructed to be allowing, open and receptive. So tell me, under a typical view of selfishness, how is that selfish? Is it really selfish to choose the best life experience I can possibly have for myself? BTW, in order to call someone selfish you have be critical and judgmental. Which means your focus is on the outside, not on the inside. You are likely trying to change your life experience by trying to make others around you change (which you will quickly learn is impossible.) If you learned nothing else from the LoA teachings you would learn that the best way to change your life experience is to change yourself first. If your happiness depends on or is at the mercy of the actions or behavior of others, you may never be truly happy.

I have come to realize that my brother is mentally ill, unbalanced or unstable. I will not go into the details. He does not read books. He has no spiritual interests. He lives next to a church, the pastor there occasionally talks to him. My parents, and he himself, have little money. They have no connections or resources. I made it clear to them that it was made clear to me that I can't help my brother. I have to keep my hands off this. This is between him, them and the universe. I laid everything out to them with as little bias, criticism or judgment as possible. I did not feel checked against hunting down information for them. So that is what this thread is about. If you had a loved one who was a danger to themselves, who does not read books, who would not take medicine if prescribed, but it is crystal clear that they needed help, and you had no money, what would you do? Here in America, is there any outreach program or anything that could hook my brother up with what he needs to deal with his anger and depression before he hurts himself or someone else? Something trustworthy and available to people who could not pay for it? If you have any advice or suggestions please post them. If you feel compelled to pray for my brother or send energy to heal him or anything like that please do so. I will collect any information gathered here and relay it to my parents. Thank you.

These words resonate with me right now. Thank you for sharing them!