fluidity

Absolutely true! OK well here is the thing. We enforce justice on ourselves whether we like it or not. It takes a special kind of evil person, to go against every innate sense, every feeling that "something is wrong", to keep on accumulating wealth and hoarding it away in some vain hopes that it will satiate the ever-looming face of death. So sometimes this belief is 'true'. The irony is that the moment you recognise its truth, it is immediately false and you deserve Love. It's the recognition of it which is the issue at hand. I remember when I was young, there was a pond right behind my house, a big round pond, a few metres deep. It had a stairwell gently leading into it. We would sit there and go fishing. Well, as a toddler, I was not strong enough to fish like the grownups so I did the next best thing. I sat at the bottom step and watched the little fish swimming by. They swam along the length of the step, the step itself was immersed in the water, just barely. The fish would swim in a line, an orderly and utterly predictable line, and they would go around and around. So I sat there with one hand in the water. Every time a fish swam along, I'd close my hand quickly to grasp it. Each and every single time a fish came, I'd make a grab for it and each and every single time, the fish would jump out of my closed fist without a second's effort. I never did catch a fish.

Somewhere deep inside, one "put it all together". The rest of myself is catching up, hence I have next to no idea what really to do or say. There are a few things I can point to. One time I was looking at some special relativity equations while tripping my head off during Kundalini awakening, I noticed there was a kind of yin-yang to their form. For instance - You can 'mirror' it. Flip it over, square it, add (v/c)^2 to both sides to take out that pesky 1-(v^2/c^2) and you get (1/y)^2 + (v/c)^2= 1 Or you could leave it as (1/y)^2 = 1 - (v/c)^2 Which if you perhaps look, you might see what I am pointing to! Or if I write it as (a/b)^c + (a/b)^c = k And when you look at EVERY equation of physics, there is this very same magical yin-yang thing. If you square something here, there is always a complementary something somewhere else. So I saw the silly yet magnificently grand beyond comprehension nature of this and laughed myself into a coma. I went and looked at random papers on the web and everywhere I went, no matter how complex or intricate the equations, no matter how abstract the symbols, no matter how "intelligent" or "basic" the equations or terms were, they all bore this yin-yang and clearly they were all of a single substance. It was then that I realised that I was on a planet full of talking monkeys. These were not merely just equations. They were art. Just art. Then I noticed that the entire thing was a single Artwork. And I was part of it. Art, looking at art. The symbols, despite the serious "look guys, we really need to spend billons of pounds and smash some particles together as fast as we can for some reason" mode of thought, were just a bunch of cleverly shaped squiggles on a piece of paper. Another arbitrary set of squiggles on a piece of paper could be The Meaning of Life and Everything As Such but well, beauty is in the eye of the beerholder after all. There was this understanding, let's say. Of an infinite number of Earths, equally identical to the last pixel, each existing in this incredible space which was the Infinite of the Infinite. So you have one Earth here, then in every single direction (keep in mind we are talking Infinity) there is another Earth at the precise 'edge-of-the-universe'. At the edge, each Earth was one pixel different, just one. Then it became clear that I am eternally existent and I am this. If I change a single pixel, I instantly "translocate" to the Earth which bears that next pixel difference in the space of all spaces/objects/phenomena. In such a sense, I do not ever move although there is the appearance of such. So in this moment, the idea of both determinism and free will were seen to be enclosed in something quite beyond both and wholly inexplicable. Also, I'd like to say one thing. There are some questions which can be answered once and for all, which never change; e.g. "2+2=?"=>"4". But there are also questions which can only be answered by the very creation of a flow along the 4th dimension. We human beings happen to be the answers to some of those questions - we are the 4 dimensional process, which is the answer to the question that spawned us. When we die, the answer is known: it is the entire worldvolume, or self, you could say - a kind of treatise. Now just as 2+2=4 we can say that the answer to some question = {[xa,ya,za,ta]---->[xb,yb,zb,tb]} And you are born trying to answer it; To the universe/Omniself the full nature of the question is known; to yourself, it is "What am I?" There are probably quite a few such questions. Probably many more, maybe some questions need a 5 dimensional flux, 6, 7, 11tybillion, who knows. One such question for example is this: "Can I jump onto this object?" - The answer is only known by Doing P=NP? "If the solution to a problem can be quickly verified by a computer, can the computer also solve that problem quickly?"

If you look outside at the infinitude of what is going on, there is a tremendous potential to shit bricks of all kinds. When you look at reality pixel by pixel it is manifestly clear that every which way is a possible way. This scares me. Yet likewise this is sure cause for safety. You are safe, because no human can fathom even the pixels that compose their own. Those who plan, can plan but they too are subject to Murphy's law, the very originators of Murphy's law. You are safe, because of Love. Love is ever-abiding. Many a time I have felt the entire fabric of my Beingness on the verge of ripping apart. A few of those times it even has. Even during all of these occasions, Love has held everything together. Love transcends all our fears, because it knows what we do not know, it knots what we do now, it knows what we do knot know that we do not know. Love abides. Whether it is a panic-filled hurry or a serene sip of tea, the leaves of the trees sway so and so, undisturbed, unperturbed. Even as every day is a new day, there is nothing new under the Sun. Yet it is new, always, such is Love. There aren't that many silences, just Silence-ing and speaking. A friend calls it the 'atmasphere' because the prevailing speech is no-talk, but no-talk is the perpetual flow of language, interrupted by talk! Remove every appearance and you may see that we are each walking in an empty Void to our deathbeds. It's a bizarre observation to say the least.

An open question: let's ponder and imagine, and contemplate Walk down the road. Walk next to a wall. Walk forward. But look left or right to the wall using your peripheral vision. You will notice that the closer you get to the wall, the 'faster' the motion of the wall moving along is. Now, imagine it is a series of 2D planes. You see line after line after line, or frame by frame, like this: | | | | | | | | This is the 'invisible' 3rd dimension to the 2D plane: one 'atom' thick. This blurs into an epic composition of brickwork and looks like this from any angle: |=|=|=| Your movement causes the invisible 3rd dimension to extrude/manifest so each point traces out a line. For comparison let's consider a large wooden free standing mirror. Facing a mirror head on, we see the 2D plane: |=|=|=| The mirror itself is a thin film of silver lining: | Now my question is thus: What is happening, when we take a floating ghost perspective, and edge closer and closer to the wall? When we are closest, what are we Seeing? Consider this. On a round Earth, your walking next to the wall, seems flat and level. But actually you are tracing a circular orbit around the Earth! Key point: each slice of the wall as you walk past comes hand in hand with a 'tick' of the Earth's rotation on its axis. With this, all the other people around you also move, the cars, the birds, the wind, the trees. Tick by tick. What is happening here? It points straight to the fundamental nature of Time itself. Any imaginations, inputs, thoughts, however seemingly inane or irrelevant, on the nature of this would be grandly appreciated! Let's explore

Thank you! This advice has been transformative and completely applicable, water to a dry cracked ground. I was expecting heavy rain but a gentle stream is what was needed! You have been blessed with serious wisdom, that is for sure. I realised from what you said that I had been disregarding some serious emotional blockages that I had kept over decades and now they are in the process of releasing. The first step is awareness, and to go without even that creates tremendous suffering. I would highly recommend others to read this link: http://www.wellbeingalignment.com/emotional-pain.html Assuredly the source of the High Yang mentality: a means to escape from a painful and inescapable yet faint and miniscule past (High Yin). Actually you need to look towards that age old trauma and shine Divine Love upon it, and it will dissolve like a rock gushing forth water. Another PHENOMENAL read: www.mydavecarroll.com/HigherAndHigher.pdf High and Higher From drugs and destruction to health and happiness Jost Sauer Thank you, and bless you for ever and ever!

Belief is useless. Knowledge, firm knowledge. Like the ground you are standing on, which is physically made of the stuff. After truth, can there be any going back? Falsehood is innately distinct from truth by its transient nature. Truth abides. There is a reason for decay and entropy and the modern understanding of science will render all such things clear shortly. It will take a single burst of transmitted enlightenment to the right hard working souls to switch on that aspect of things, there are plenty of us who specialise in the intricate fields and as versatile as human beings are we are also like insects: directed toward a specific purpose. You know when you attempt to act against your nature, that you feel off centre. Consider that the honeybee has a pollen collector built into its leg. Nothing ever disappears. Even decay and disappearance are an illusion: that which decays, is merely changing form. Its 'ripe' form was itself a form of decay of the 'dirty' form before it. When something fades off into empty space, it is still there. Such is conservation of energy. The universe expands to make more room, all that empty space is not remotely empty. In fact it contains the sum of all past actions. The past cannot be deleted, the past abides eternally encoded into the fabric of the Present. Look into black hole physics and the nature of decay is made manifestly clear. The spiritual nature of the universe is unraveled by the exploration of the physics of black hole boundaries and the encompassing yet similar nature of the observable universe event horizon. Anyway I do not claim to be enlightened but let's put it this way: from a Vedic astrology point of view, I have a very convenient place of observation. Enlightenment with a capital E I'd define as total cessation of all questioning or total purity. It's a grand task, isn't it? But according to some of the past teachers this is the age of mass enlightenment. Let us see! All is Love Also: Nirvikalpa is quite common. I have so far spoke to one person on the internet. He entered it in a monastery somewhere in the far East. The tradition there is that when a monk enters Nirvikalpa, they go again, and again, and again. Until it seeps in. Once is great but it's definitely not the final product. The reason why I can speak so surely is that after the experience a supremely divine white light cut two lines into my hand with laserpoint precision as if it were a DNA program that found its completion point. They have been there ever since and every time I look at my hand I am amazed, awestruck, dazzled and I still don't really quite grasp the depth or brunt of what this entails.

The right question delivered to a sufficiently large audience is enough to trigger revolution! The power of a question is that once it is heard, the mind will do nothing but work on it. There is no choice in the matter. Answers can be rejected or accepted but the nature of a question is that it is always innocent. You say the wrong answer, you are guilty. You ask the wrong question, there is no such thing as a wrong question. Only questions. This points to the inherent nature of the universe itself: a question-answer-question machine! Well, not quite a machine but you get the gist. It's a giant sieve for knowledge. One long self-inquiry meditation, you could say.

This has to be known experientially. You think you're in silence, then you drop into Silence and then you realise what Silence is! And then after that you REALLY drop into Silence and realise you never had a clue and never will

They are not really theories. Peer into the spiritual works of the past and put it all together. I am a physicist in training and I never really started off looking at spirituality for an understanding. There is a special kind of stubbornness in physics. We are so stupid that we want everything broken down pixel by pixel, particle by particle. Only then will we agree that what is right in front of our face is indeed, right in front of our face. 'Shitting bricks' is an expression for bone-crunching terror. I cannot really say much more with regards to that. But what I can say from what I know so far, is this. Everything is with perfect purpose and perfect determination. There is nothing random about anything except that randomness is a means to the end, which is always perfect purpose, design and aesthetic. It is the creation of Life, the abiding Home/Garden for the Clear Light. Think of it as a beta test. Everything is being recorded. All your actions are frozen in time and available to examine and cross-examine for future individuals. Comprehend the depth of that and its implications. A human Self originates at the point of sperm=>egg connection. Something happens there which we call Birth. Then there is an equal Death at the end. In physics terms, this is known as a worldvolume. A human Be-ing, a verb. You have 3 dimensions of shape (x,y,z) and likewise a precise boundary (your skin). Then Birth and Death are the edges of the human shape along the 4th axis of time. It goes far deeper than this: contemplate ideas such as Hilbert Space or Spanda. You are an immortal Archetype. This is your eternal Home, the form you are now. I am talking with regards to the human You, the You that is just You, who wakes up, eats and poops it all back out. The Atman/Brahman is a different story. But the human You is completely eternal. Or do you think these forms are created and left to wander without aim? They are created and shaped with precise determination and terminated with equally precise knowingness. Such is the Clear Light. The appearance of decay is deceiving! Nothing disappears. The universe is a growing body of Knowledge, this being the weaving of the Clear Light in its self-resonant cavity. All is recorded and preserved. So be careful of your actions! One day they will be fully revealed. Not a single hidden thought will be hidden. Life is made to be Lived, soon enough this will all be completely open. We are abiding in a fractal geometric form which is semi-sentient. The rest is playing dead. But every blade of grass will one day live eternally. Every single creature ever created and eaten will return. And the last Day, is merely the beginning, of what? LIFE

Wholesomeness and purity. There is no substitute, this is the inherent nature of things so take it or leave it. God is Pure and the love of God is like the Sun, it beams radiance to all and sundry. The most decrepit souls still feel the Light of God: if they didn't, it would not be the Light of God! If a child is not hurt by the action, then it is wholesome but again I am only pointing to the true nature of wholesome. Wholesomeness carries a certain essence to it, which renders it the feeling of Realer than Real. All else is illusion/defilement. You knew it as a child, if you had a fairly decent upbringing. Then people/your own self broke it down and now you may have tangles. Becoming one with God is as simple as recognising God but also as difficult as recognising God

Yes'n'No Dropped into Nirvikalpa 2 years ago. Divine grace, believe me I did not really do anything but be my Self, just a random kid. It is only now that I am starting to comprehend the sheer depth of what the hell this means or implies, and to be brutally honest I still have no real idea. But it feels good! Well, both good and not-good and doubleplusgood and halfminusnotungood. 4 weeks into semen retention and this is what happens, seriously: If anything what I learnt is the same old boring (is it! look around at the beauty!) thing: everyone is already enlightened. The Great Samadhi is one that nobody enters or exits because it is the abiding Samadhi. Then there is also the fact of taking reins of the human form. This is another kind of Samadhi. You have to work to get into this one. Nirvikalpa does not change this. To get into this human Samadhi (i.e. total relaxation) means dissolution of all inner tension. Deep seated inner tension of all kinds. It's amazing how silent Silence is, it's more Silent than you think! Also, more Silent than you not-think! The only way I can point to it is that Silence is not lightness, but lighterness. Always go towards lighter, there is never light-est, only light-er. Forget about enlightenment. Go for enlightenING. Do not be "purified", be purifyING. Always, ALWAYS. I can prove this in a way mathematically, there is a kind of derivative. The rate of change of purity of your I-AM, must be greater than or equal to 1. If you do this then at death you will have a Self, which is eternally in a state of purifying and hence escape the hell realm. If you do not, and you die encircled by impurity, prepare to shit bricks. It feels that Nirvikalpa is doubtless awareness of the Great Samadhi. It changes nothing yet it changes everything. There is a kind of surety in my footsteps that was certainly not quite there before, although even then I cannot say it wasn't. I might sound confused but I am neither confused nor not-unconfused. My brain hurts and I'm tired. But it feels good to sleep.

Would like to add to the forum too, so just posting here to say Hi

Namaste!

Do you have any tips on reaching balance? I used to be a master of sustained attention like all the other coffee'n'coders. Then stuff happened in life and now I cannot sit down to do things like that any more. Which really sucks! And now I dive furiously into a project of self-improvement. But after a certain time, the Yang runs out and fwoooooosh, the balloon bursts in one go. Even with celibacy, my body got too hot. The Yang literally enveloped my body to the point where I felt like I was on fire all day long, literally on fire, my skin felt searing hot to the touch like I had come from the desert. Either way there is always a cycle. Suffering, tired of suffering, intense Yang current, huge drive to push, many things get done, but then just as it catches serious momentum, the fire gets too much. Then fwoooosh... release it all, put down my work boots, let go into apathetic anhedonia, which is blissful riding on the wave of good karma, but not for long. Soon the suffering starts, the mind is hazy and distraught and a world of confusion opens up. And soon I get tired of it, and thus the cycle renews. It seems there is either a macrocycle of energy circulating over a period of months (bi-yearly?) or my lifestyle creates a very bipolar pattern. What do you suggest about creating sustained fire? Last manic phase I dived into Wu Wei and every day became effortless in terms of moving energy expenditure. Not a trace of tiredness nor muscle tension nor stress. Yet, it was not sustainable. Clearly I was running on batteries and the batteries run out. Yet many reach excellence in life and become powerful polymathematic behemoths of wisdom and creativity and learning. So they know how to keep this juice going. How do I top up the stores and do that BEFORE it's time for the dam to burst? How do I turn the dam building and bursting into a gentle yet furious steady stream? Much love!