taoistYawa

I just wanted to say hello to everyone. I recently started my journey to becoming a realized being through Taoist practices. I bought a few books, "secrets of the dragons gate", "opening the dragons gate", "secrets of the golden flower" and of course "magus from java". at the moment I can sit and meditate for a half hour. I use the eyes half open method. which means eyes locked on the tip of my nose and my mind concentrating on my minds eye, with my will fixed on my abdominal. Im trying to cultivate stillness or get to the point I can see my thoughts through my minds eye visually, but my only success in that area happened while I was sleeping. I can't imitate it through my meditations while I am awake. I'm not certain what my first steps should be, so I decided to join a community. I currently reside in Thailand, but I am an american. I'm a retired muay thai fighter, that came to the realization that my need to fight other men was a personality flaw. Now I spend my time with my wife (she came with me from america) and attempt to understand the "tao". I'm looking for answers that I can directly experience, not a belief system and it's important whoever decides to help me understands that. I'm not looking for a god, however I am searching for a way to save my wife and I from the afflictions of not pursuing the "tao". Here I am and that's my story Sincerely, Taoist Yawa.

I read it and knew. Now it's back to practice. sincerely, taoist yawa

My sentiments are with my friend above. What can you teach us?

A fundamental problem with language is that it has to be understood by the person you are talking to. I see how you translated my text, and I apologize for my part in that. hopefully you understand that translations don't necessarily reflect the opinion of the originator of the text.

If I was to knock over a cup, one could understand the force (my hand for example) that knocked it over. If I then asked this person did I knock over the cup. He would have enough clarity to say "Yes" However, if I asked this person what accumulation led me to knock over the cup? This person's clarity would dissolve. So yes, I agree that clarity, understanding, and delusion are only in the ambiguous eye of the beholders. Sincerely, taoist yawa

What is the point of clarifying meanings, when we have yet to grasp understanding? I'm not here to cling to my idea of intelligence or to gravitate towards another's. Both directions are delusions. I'm only here to experience the way. Sincerely, taoist yawa

Thank you both for the response. Here is my dilemma "Harmonious Emptiness". I get to a point where I feel pretty silent mentally, but there is something else there. Like a mind beyond my mind that I do not understand. I don't know what to do at this point so I would just wait hoping I would actually see my thoughts, like Liping did in "Opening the Dragon's Gate". I feel like I'm in a black space, but even there I am able to acknowledge that I'm there, so it's either my mind doesn't shut off, or there is something beyond the mind that is there. And if there is something beyond the mind, what is it? can it be explained in words? I don't have the the ability to direct this blackness towards anything, it's just blackness with the ability to acknowledge I'm in blackness. I do feel pressure in my mind's eye for hours and hours after practice, the sensation never really leaves, but that's all. Just a sensation, no visuals or "eye opening" experiences.

I read the list of questions, but I did not understand the point of asking them. If the journey is to go to the source, how could we attach ourselves to anything less? I find the temperament question to be equally pointless, because morality is subject to perspective. The only thing matters is if your temperament will adjust to the path, or leave the path. All that kindness, and not so kind nonsense is social indoctrination. Taoism gives me hope, so I signed my name on the dotted line. Sincerely, taoist yawa.

To be honest I'm not sure if any of this "Tao" stuff is real. To say I was positively certain without experiencing a master first hand or even one of the abilities they possess would just make me another mindless believer. I'm here because, when I way what traditional society is offering in terms of my own mortaltity, Taoism has a better solution. So whether taoism is real or not, I'm here because it's better to die trying to overcome, than to just die in denial about the entire process. Taoism gives me hope, so I put my life on the dotted line. Sincerely, taoist yawa.