WillingToListen

This. I think it's impossible to read someone's current-present energy over an internet post.

Not really, I'm not sure what you mean. I mean seeing like extremely subtle(micro) changes in their facial expressions to the point of knowing exactly what they were thinking, feeling. There are some who were very happy, it seems all the way to their core. But most people around me, had this what seemed like an intense sadness that went all the way to their core- my parents had this too. It made me so depressed knowing when all these people were so sad or knowing when they were lying. I immediately stopped the practice. From what I've read it assists the 3rd eye- so I presume it'll probably end up coming back to me just gradually, which I think I'll do fine with. Waking up one day and being able to look deep into people(without effort/ automatically) was terrifying, especially because I couldn't "turn it off" or "down". That must've been intense! Yea I had gotten really good about eye contact during my k-experience then during that "week of results" after a month or 2 of practicing trataka, I completely reverted. I couldn't stand making any eye contact out of fear I'd see "into them". I still do it to this day, as soon as people talk to me I have a habit of looking straight down or off to the side.

I don't think karma is even a real "thing". I think it's just mental constructs/barriers people set up within themselves out of fear/guilt. All of the examples you've provided of how you get "affected/influenced" by karma, have an air of "holier than thou". If you want to live every day in fear of reincarnation, civilization, women and the majority of this planet, cool- good for you. I'm sorry you feel that way. Karma isn't blocking your access to your higher self, you are.

but

I used to use natural light all the time. I found it very conducive to my spiritual efforts. As for candles, I employed them and natural sunlight in my living fairly strictly for months (besides occasional computer use). I was doing trataka with one candle until I happened upon the results I wanted one day :/ The "telepathy" and the micro-expressions on peoples faces were a bit much for me to handle at the time. I'm going to get back into the practice once I mature a bit. It was definitely a learning experience

I really want a heavily embellished hexagram on my hand (I've seen it in visions/dreams for the last few years) and some ancient symbols on a couple of my fingers. Idunno hand tattoos are really attractive to me, i guess it's the geography of it and the "letting go" that comes with the decision. I know it's somewhat of an "ego" thing, but i'm not sure what kind of life a human without an ego would live in a busy city in america. Mine became really deflated at a point and I had to "build it back up" just to stop getting preyed on by everything around me :/ When I get the money I'm going through with it. I think it's cool and it means a lot to me

Are you published? I'll have a decent critique soon

SEEKER OF TRUTH and oildrops, thank you very much for your contributions- you both have an idea of where I'm coming from. I'm not seeking to combat any system that's in place, it simply goes against what i feel in my heart. Being as isolated as I am currently I do need to establish community. And I'm also unemployed so getting a job is also a priority. It's extremely overwhelming on this path sometimes, not having a guru or "elder" to look to for advice. There are users on this forum who have seen me through very dark times, thank you all. Just when I thought I was "done" with my k experience harhar

Ive already spoken to one. He gave me a bunch of free seroquel and ambien and that closed up my crown pretty well. I know why i feel this way and i cant do anything to change my situation for a long time. My family is poor i cant afford to keep making them shell out money like this for help. ive been thinking of suicide off and on its nice to hear someone elses perspective on it. the path has no place in american society.

I guess suicide isn't so bad, it's something im slowly working up to. I think with a month or two I should be able to just let go of life

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I've been told and recently have come to know that my third eye is partially open/opening. I've been super empatic/telepathic and seeing specks of light more than usual. My first question is this, is there a difference between the "all-seeing" eye and the "third" eye? *Someone said that there's a marked difference between the two and that the "third" eye is amateur and a gate to "lesser things" and madness. Whereas the all seeing eye is another energy center all together and is the "real deal" My second question is, for people who have kundalini/chi, do you find animals are more drawn to you? *Everywhere I go dogs go crazy barking or behave oddly around me and I've been seeing stray cats (they always appear close then either watch me or run off) more often than in the past Please and thank you

!!!! Yea i used to imitate them, I actually started figuring out some of their "words" out by the pitch/cadence. I would sing to them and they would follow me from tree to tree as I walked my dog. Then I started smoking cigarettes again to ground myself after I hit a peak

I used to write, people have told me I was talented. I also used to draw and make music. During times where I feel particularly down I'll still write a poem or something. My problem is that prior to me embarking on this spiritual path, most of my writings/art/music came from suffering. Now that I don't have so much sadness/grief, I feel as though I can't express myself truly. The art that came from suffering, my joy(of old), has lost it's appeal. I've even tried to create problems for myself, to no avail. I miss the art that came from the sadness. I wrote a lot about society and curing its ills for a time, but only so many people want to hear that kind of thing, let alone act on it. To me music is the best form of expression at the moment, because it is beyond words and as long as your hearing is good you can play something or sing. You said you don't want to really spend time on developing skills, some say most great art comes from a type of suffering.

That's awesome! I'm going to start up again with my bird friends, I've been ignoring them

hahahahahahaha

Thank you for your answers. I've just heard numerous things about seeing spirits so that made me worry a bit, seeing as how at the moment i'm trying to reintegrate into society. Trust me I'm not trying to force this, even the start of this "awakening" was spontaneous. The main thing was about two weeks ago when I was only getting about 1-3 hours of sleep a night and had a lot of energy in my head, i entered a new level of hypersensitivity- thankfully it subsided when I was prescribed ambien. I've come to find the innate abilities have much to do with my stress levels and my morality/diet (I started eating meat, lying and smoking cigarettes again and I felt "ordinary" all over again). The only times I felt "crazy" at all during this period was because of seeds planted by other people, words are more powerful than I had already assumed. I couldn't imagine having permanent spirit vision, being able to see into the future seems like it would be stressful- does that mean they cheat their own death? And thank you for clearing up the animal thing. I wanted clarity on that especially to make sure it just wasn't a personal construct of mine, because it happens all the time.

hahahaha. Don't drink the Kool-Aid guys

I've noticed lately it feels like I have a blowhole on the top of my head. Sometimes I can feel it, but then ignore it and it goes away. Whenever I dwell on it, the sensation comes back and it feels like it's opening up. As of late I've also been feeling rather blank as far as creativity goes and emotionally I've been feeling rather flat. Like, I was trying to think of lyrics for a song the other day and I was having a tough time. But then I closed my eyes and tried to really think about it, and creativity seemed to rush from nowhere, although a good amount of it was things I'd already written about long ago(stale/empty words now that I'm not so angry). The lyrics were kind of "dark/negative" though so I kind of "banished" them once they started to really flow. A user told me to get away from dark imagery during my awakening process because it could be detrimental to my development, my internal conflict is this: Sure I wrote dark poetry/songs in the past to cope and Im glad I "got over" it, but isn't life suffering? Am I just not supposed to have an outlet for any kind of aggression/suffering now that this awakening process has started to some degree? I don't laugh at things like I used to, and I find I'm missing the "funny" things in situations. I cry easily. Do I ever get my sense of humor back? What about my creativity? I feel like a robot I want to be a human again. The top of my head feels so weird. Sometimes I feel a sensation in the blowhole and in my testes at the same time, what is wrong with my body? *sometimes when I'm out in public interacting with things/people, indoors, I notice how bright the lighting is. And when I'm looking at a tv screen now or like I went to watch a movie recently- I find my eyebrows raised and my entire face tense. I don't even feel it get that way. Will I ever desensitize to society? If I stay this sensitive to stimulus, I don't see the rest of my life being very pleasant.

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Me too! By perfect, I meant perfect as in devoid of error... which a human cannot be. Humans are fallible, erroneous by nature... That's how I try to see it, it's hard to keep it in mind at times- especially when you're down

.Nobody is perfect

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Should I do the macro or micro? These instructions I'm reading say to spin the ball to the right, is it my right or if someone's looking at me right? *do I need to do any special breathing with it? do I need to close my eyes? posture? I'm sorry it's just something that scared/scares me because everywhere I read it says this is a way to speed up the awakening process and I don't have a physical teacher/confidant for this- no safety net. At this point my insomnia is upsetting me a little so why not

So it never "wears off" a bit? I know what you're talking about with the 'signatures'. I'm just really bothered by this overstimulation right now because especially when I'm doing volunteer work with this organization, always indoors, I find my face contorting itself out of stress because of the fluorescent lighting and the fact they love to leave fox news on fairly loud. I can see this being problematic. I really don't want these people to start thinking ill of me, it's my only social contact I have outside of my home.